I was now laying down on my side facing the opposite way from door in the hospital room. They were done checking me out and getting me situated.
"Hey miss. Robinson, Dr.Jackson is just going to give you a run down on what all we did." She said looking at me with sympathy before leaving out.
"Do you want your mom to come in?" She asked me nicely and I shook my head no.
"Okay." She said. "We did a dilation and curettage, a scraping of the uttering lining, a dilation and extraction, and a suction of the uterus to remove fetal or placenta tissue." She explained but I just tuned her out.
"We did a pelvic exam and an ultrasound to confirm your miscarriage. So just Expect some bleeding and cramping from those procedures. We're going to keep you for two nights just make sure you're okay." She said.
"If you have any questions just ask me." She said and I finally snapped out of the zone I was in.
"What was the cause?" I asked quietly.
"Implantation failure." She said.
"Would I ever be able to become pregnant again?" I asked.
"Yes ma'am this was just an unfortunate situation that you had no fault in this." She said.
"Thank you." I said. "You can bring my mom in now." I said.
I didn't want her to hear anything. I felt embarrassed, I felt disgusting, I felt so uncomfortable.
"Kaelyn- Why me?" I cut her off as my eyes got glossy. "I've been doing everything right, I've been happy." I said.
"Shhhh." She came by me and hugged me.
"None of this is your fault okay Kaelyn." She said and she just allowed me to cry in her arms while she cried with me.
"I can't tell Makai." I let go feeling afraid.
"Baby you have to, he deserves to know." She said.
"What if he leaves me or doesn't want to be with me anymore? Momma I can't." I cried harder.
"If he loves you he won't, he'll be right here taking care of you." She said.
"Can you tell him, I just can't." I said and she nodded her head wiping a tear before stepping aside and calling him.
"Hello." She said. "Kaelyn's in the hospital." She said. "It's better if I tell you in person, she needs you right now." She finished.
Makai rushed to the hospital as soon as the phone call ended. A lot was going through his mind right now, he didn't know what to expect but it was obviously something bad.
Once he finally got there and was outside of her hospital room, her mom started to talk to him.
"What happened?" He asked.
"I think you need to sit down." Her mom said to him.
"Please just tell me." He sighed. He didn't want to sit down but he didn't want to sound rude.
"She um- She had a miscarriage." She said. His eyes started to get glossy as he looked through the glass window at Kaelyn whose back.
He wasn't just finna cry because he lost his unborn child, but also because he knew this was going be ten steps backwards for Kaelyn. She was going to back to how she was when they first met.
"She's not really talking so please just bare with her, if you need anything let me know because you're both going through this together." she rubbed his arm before walking away.
He quickly wiped a tear before it fell and took a deep breath finally walking inside of the room. Kaelyn didn't move an inch.
He sat down in the chair in front of her but she still didn't put her attention on him.
He watched as a tear fell down her face crossing over her nose as she laid on her side.
"What they say?" He mumbled trying not to cry. He wanted to be strong for her.
"I have to stay for two nights." She said softly after she sniffed.
"You want me to stay wit' you?" He asked.
"No." She looked down.
"Kaelyn." He sighed grabbing her hand but she moved her hand back making his face expression change.
"Can you please just- I don't want you to touch me." Her voice cracked.
"Kaelyn I don't look at you no different than I did before- is my brother woke?" She cut him off and he shook his head.
She still didn't look at him or make eye contact. She was embarrassed, she didn't want him to see her like that. She felt like her body was violated.
"Can you just talk to me?" He asked.
"What do you want me to say Makai?" She sniffed as she cried. "Can you just leave me alone, I wanna be myself." She said finally looking at him and he clenched his jaws.
Makai was confused. This was different side of Kaelyn that he's never seen before. He's so used to her being under him 24/7, he's used to being her getaway from everything, but now she doesn't want any attention from him. She was pushing him away.
"Leave you alone?" He questioned. "Why you want me to leave you alone Jania." He said calling her by her middle name.
"Because." Her voice cracked. "Why would you want to be around me when i'm the reason we lost our baby." She said before breaking down.
"It's not yo' fault that happened, even the doctors said it- But it's my body." She raised her voice as she cut him off.
"I didn't even know Makai." She cried. "Our baby died inside of me." She continued and Makai just got up and laid down beside her letting her cry on his chest as his arms were around her.
"I didn't know." She said lowly again more so to herself.
Makai didn't know what to say. He didn't know what to do. After all, he lost their baby too.
"It's not yo' fault stop blaming yo' self." He said lowly kissing her on his forehead.
After she cried herself to sleep Makai carefully got up being careful not wake her and walked out. He was on the verge of breaking down himself but he wanted to be there for Kaelyn.
It was night time as he sat in his car and let out the breath he was holding in. Tears started to fall down his face as he was leaned back.
"FUCK." He raised his voice hitting the steering wheel with his fist. He then held on to the steering wheel crying.
This was going to be the first roller coaster in their relationship and neither one of them were ready for what was about to come...
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I done got emotionally attached to my own damn book ain't this some bs