love, your sweet p

Door jwedek5352

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***MATURE WARNING*** Name: Pressley Isabella Hosbach Age: 12 Live: New York City, New York/Florham Park, New... Meer

⚠️Caution (PLEASE READ)⚠️
prologue
dear mommy and tallie,
i'm so sorry.
i know how much it must hurt to read this.
it wasn't the show.
i've been suffering for a while now,
ever since the car accident.
i know how much you loved me,
but i still felt unworthy of it.
i know how much worth i had to you,
but i still felt worthless.
i know i could have talked to you,
that you might have helped me,
but i needed to take care of it on my own.
i felt alone,
like i was in a dark room,
and it was locked.
this was the only way
i could get out
and finally be happy.
i forgot what that feels like,
to be happy.
i didn't want to do anything,
not even dance.
i just stopped caring.
if i ever hurt you in any way,
i'm sorry.
if i made a mistake in any way,
i'm sorry.
i deserved any bullying.
i deserved all the hate.
i can't do this anymore.
i love you guys so much,
but i couldn't love myself.
being happy all the time,
when i would cry myself to sleep.
every. single. night.
i wish it didn't come to this,
but i needed to end the pain.
i needed to do it so i could be happy again.
this isn't goodbye.
i'll always be your baby.
i'll always be your best friend.
i'm not gone.
i was misplaced,
a mistake.
i'll be watching over you,
forever and always.
again,
i'm sorry.
love, your sweet p
Day 1
Day 2
Day 3
Day 4
Day 11
Day 12
Day 13
Day 18
Day 19
Day 20 (FINALE)

it was tiring,

23 1 0
Door jwedek5352

March 29, 2019

Dear Diary,

     Happy 14th birthday Hannah! She gets to spend her birthday with JoJo and drama that is potentially trauma-inducing. Today JoJo was coming to meet us, which was so exciting. But first we had to practice the group dance.

     But suddenly, Lilly hit her foot wrong and sprained her ankle. She tried to keep dancing but it hurt to walk. We got her some ice and elevation and after thirty minutes, she could dance on it again. But with Mom reminding me how dangerous this group dance was every second of every day and this, we were all scared.

     Then Jessalyn, JoJo's mom came in. We all hugged her. Then JoJo came in and we were all so excited! JoJo is one of the few people from Dance Moms that took their fame and RAN WITH IT. You can't go into a store and not see her merchandise.

     Then JoJo worked with the solos separately while everybody else worked on the group dance. I wish I would have gotten hurt so the team would have a better chance, but unfortunately, I didn't. Stupid brain.

     Then we did the group dance WITH THE WATER. It was awful. Nobody danced well at all because we were so afraid of slipping. Well, I tried to hurt myself, but nothing worked. All in all, Abby was not confident, and we're competing in her backyard tomorrow, so we need to win tomorrow.

     After we were done, we ate cupcakes for lunch, which was weird. We also got to hang out with JoJo. She's so nice and sweet and kind of like a child, so she fit in very nicely. It was one of the few moments where I was happy.

     The rest of the day has just been isolating myself in my room because I don't want to do anything else. Mom has forced me out of my room to watch some movies, but she thinks it's just puberty, so I'm lucky.

     It's 5 pm right now, and I'm so tired. Why am I either not sleeping or sleeping for twelve straight hours? Why can't I just be a normal person? Why me? I'm sorry, I need to sleep. Cutting this off now.

Love,

sweet p

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