27th February 1981
And so the week containing the interview came round quick, leaving Roger prepared for his flight on the same day I was sat in a make up chair trying to prepare myself for whatever questions were going to be thrown at me.
Julian and Connie proceeded to jump up and down and scream when I told them I would be sat on day time tv for everyone who pleased to watch, and Roger was certainly pleased about the chance we had to tell the truth. Not the whole truth... but as much as I could.
There was only a few minutes before I went on, sat in the chair and prayed that the questions asked weren't too outrageous. Roger was somewhere within the crowd, positioned behind all the cameras and lights that would be surrounding me.
As I got up from my seat, I heard a gentle tap at the door, one I managed to recognise the owner of as I turned to face the door, watching his frame step through. The smile he wore managed to ease the anxiousness within me for only the slightest second as our eyes met, but it was all I needed to feel the slightest bit like my self in comparison to the nerves riddling me.
"It's gonna be fine don't worry." Roger reassured me, his arms creeping round my frame as my head fell against his chest, my hand at my lips as my fingers caught themselves between my teeth. "Don't panic about it."
"Ugh I know... I'm so pissed you're going right after too." I sighed, lifting my head to look at his as he nodded slowly. Roger's job was unfortunately a lot different to mine, which meant he was of course going away for a couple of weeks. Which also meant his belongings were already on their way to the airport with Crystal, simply waiting for the drummer himself to arrive.
"It ain't for long... you'll be fine. Like you said... you managed two years without me. Plus I'm only a phone call away." Roger reassured me again, pushing my hair back as I nodded gently. "Shit you've gotta go though."
"Ugh fuck. I'll see you in a minute." I leant up and kissed him, our lips allowing themselves to meet for a brief moment before another knock came to the door. Our hands unwrapped from one another, both of us signing as a women with only a clipboard in her grasp opened the door.
"Miss Petrov you'll need to come through with me now please." She said, my frame following the direction of hers as Roger's went in the opposite after a small wave. She lead me to the side of the stage, giving me a few minor instructions as to where to go as I waited to be introduced.
"Welcome to tonight's show I'm Andy Edwards... and joining me in the studio tonight is a guest we haven't had hear before on the show, someone who's seemingly very private about her home life, and someone who's very recently fallen in love..." I took a deep breathe to prepare myself, a fake smile already plastered across my face. "Ladies and gentlemen, and all those at home, may I introduced Miss Adelynn Petrov."
I walked onto the stage, a small wave being given to the camera following my frame round as I smiled as brightly as I could, my eyes instantly caught with Roger's as I sat down on the small sofa besides Andy, turning to face his eager and slightly cunning grin I was presented with.
His face was plastered with makeup, probably more than mine, and his teeth were clearly so white they were false. His hair was dark and smothered my gel that stuck every thin piece to his head, a well crafted distraction from the wrinkled permanently creased against his skin.
"Good afternoon Adelynn... how are you ?"
"Yeah I'm doing good thank you." I nodded, returning his false smile as I took another glance towards Roger, hoping catching a glimpse of his expression would help me calm myself only slightly.
"Well firstly we'd like to welcome you to the show and thank you for joining us..." the audience gave a small cheer, including a very enthusiastic Roger which managed to turn my smile genuine. "So obviously I think me and the people at home are very curious as to what is going on between you and Roger Taylor ? When did that all start ?"
I knew the question was coming. It had to. That's essentially why I was there. That's what everyone was burning to know... the truth behind why Roger was outside Mel's office confessing his love to me. And I'd had some time to think of an answer that wouldn't have the papers down my throat tomorrow morning.
"Well what most people don't know is that me and Roger met on the third of November in seventy seven... so over three years ago. We simply came across one another in some little bar we both like."
"Three years ? Wow. And how long have you two been... in love as Roger's said." Andy took a glance towards the camera as he saw me shuffle in my seat, my fingers tapping against my thigh as I prepared my response.
"I fell in love with him at a very inconvenient time, and it couldn't quite work out between us, and we erm... well we fell apart. And we didn't see each other for a long time after that." I tried my hardest to word the truth in the best way I could, trying not to tell the real severity of it but at the same time avoid lying.
"So do we have reason to believe that you are in fact the reason as to why his previous relationship with Dominique Beyrand didn't work out ?" I had to resist the urge to roll my eyes, to bury my head or walk away, knowing that the press would jump at this and label me as a 'homewrecker' and a 'slut'. I had to be as careful as I could, which most interviews made extremely difficult.
"It was Roger's relationship to end... not mine. I have no idea what term it was under- we weren't talking at the time. I only remember finding out through the press." I took another glance at the drummer, laughing at the slightly enthusiastic thumbs up he gave me which didn't fail to reassure me.
"But how have you and Taylor managed to become what you are now ?" Andy asked, grinning in my direction again with the greedy desire to squeeze as much truth as he could from me.
"Well a couple of months ago, I think it was around October time, we passed one another on the street. And we got back in touch. We were nothing but friends, until Christmas Day. When I realised I wanted to be with him. There was a little tricky patch we went through in the process to getting to where we are now, but I can safely say we're happily tougher- and by all means in love. Some people might think we haven't quite gotten to a point that should be considered love... but some people aren't me and Roger. No one else knows the truthfulness of our story."
"No I'm sure they don't..." he laughed. "But Miss Petrov I am obliged to ask- are the rumours of you carrying his baby true ?"
"No I'm not pregnant." I laughed in response, replacing the hurt and frustration the press caused with a simple denial and laugh. "We're not planning to start a family quite so soon."
"But are the claims that the two of you were both using drugs and alcohol in the earlier weeks of this year true ? There were several pictures of you and Roger in appalling states in the papers... the two of you seeming heavy under the influence and intoxicated."
That's what got me. That's what hit me first. It was a question that had trapped in four tight, suffocating walls that allowed no variation of escape. I felt my hearts beat quicken, and my head toss and turn and tumble in a desperation to find a response as the silence answered for me. It said more than I had in only a matter of seconds, much that Andy's pure enjoyment as his toothy grin leaked wider.
I didn't dare to look at Roger. How could I ? I knew he would be burning with anger and offer no smile or enthusiasm that could ease me in that moment,
"I was drunk on the occasion or two... but we all like a drink. And I'm here to talk about myself aren't I ? Not just Roger." I chuckled slightly, a mixed relief seeming to leave besides the laughter as the presenter nodded. I didn't managed to realise I'd let him perfectly to his next remark.
"Yeah about yourself... obviously you hadn't had much evolvement with your family until your mother's passing, but why is it exactly you haven't seen your dad since her death ? Surely he was the person to seek comfort in rather than alcohol ?" Of course they had to mention Dad. They had to. And how did I know what to say ? I was too busy fixating on all the times his hand has stricken me down, again and again and again. The hospital trips, the makeup, the tears, the fear, the pain, the hurt- that's all dad ever gave to me. And the only person in that studio who knew that was Roger, who I knew would have a gaze pouring with so much sympathy it would bring me to tears.
"My dads not quite the man you think he is." I nodded, my nails finding themselves between my teeth as I desperate cry to release my nerves.
"Do you blame him for your career ? I mean what's that like, being born into a world of fame you know no different from ?"
"Horrible. Awful actually. My entire life I've never been seen as a true person. I've been stuck in a glass box for you all to point at or take pictures of and judge, and anyone's been able to say whatever they please about me. Not one part of what I've lived through has been normal, I've never known life without fame. Unless weirdly, I was with Roger. When we hid ourselves from the public, I somehow found myself almost living a normal life."
"Have you found the allegations between you and Taylor to be upsetting ?" Andy was clearly not impressed with the recovery I'd made from his question, a tweak in the positioning of his eyebrows that showed the feeling clear enough. "And have you found your career to have taken an impact from any events in recent weeks ?"
"Some of them were sad yes. But we know the truth... so why should we be so bothered about the lies ? My career has always been steady, I've never had to worry too much about wether I could pay the bills... put it that way." We both laughed falsely, waiting for the other to provide something worthy of a response as the seconds of lies became exhaustingly longer.
"Well thank you Adelynn for joining us this evening, we have just one more question, which is in fact in regards to your father- do you think the statement he delivered to the press about you this morning was in fact true ?"
"I'm sorry... the statement ?" My heart skipped a beat. It skipped more than one. I'm sure it jumped out in front of me as I felt an ache in my stomach and I lump in my throat. Fear riddled me. Terror owned me in that moment, my neck in a tightly, worrying grasp as is strangled me and aloud the nerves to smother me completely. The seconds between me asking and him answering were realistically so short and few no one else would linger in them like I would, stuck in the dawning falseness of what was yet to hit me.
"When asked of what he thought of your current life and relationship with Taylor, he responded with 'she's always been an unkind, unruly, selfish girl who was never appreciative of everything I gave her growing up. She abandoned me and her mother, and didn't even come to the funeral. It breaks my heart that's she's grown up in such a spotlight that forced her to treat us in such a disgusting manner.'"
A surprise no ? A stab in the chest that had tears in my eyes and an ache to be in Roger's hold as I had to pull them back in fear of being ridiculed by the entire nation ? Yes. That hit me so hard I had no response. Not a thought in my mind as every memory vanished, leaving my head empty with the space to try and savour some from of a response. But nothing was there. I had to time to even let the statement settle, let alone reply. All I knew was I had to stop avoiding the papers- especially the next morning.
"Oh that's not true." I replied, my eyes tracing against the floor as the weight of shame forced them downwards.
"Is it not ?"
"I wasn't invited to my mother's funeral." That took strength. And courage. And maybe even a slight boldness. I'd told them something they didn't know, something that did in fact shine a brightly harsh light on my father- but he didn't care. The presenter simply nodded, frustrated with the need he had to throw me into a poor light and somehow humiliate me. But it was the only response I could give under the sheer shock of the statement that overwhelmed be too severely. I couldn't think.
"Before we go... Miss Petrov are you not afraid that this unruly drinking you participate in won't only have an affect on your career, but will ultimately lead you to follow the same dreaded path as your mother ? Does the element of death at such a young age not worry you after witnessing how your own mum's life ended ?"
The tears wanted to fall again. They were desperate. Pleading to meet the skin they rarely did. The cunning grin still eagerly worn bought a harsh sickness to my stockman as I watched it boil with the satisfaction I'd given him. He'd got me. He saw the way the small drops of water were edging and the way my fingers were trapped between my teeth.
"I'm not who my mother was. I'm not nearly as strong as her." That was the first response I mumbled, only to avoid the mics being able to hear the way my voice snap and crumble.
"Why do you say strong ?"
"Like I said... my father isn't the man you all think he is." I laughed slightly, easing my nerves and the statements harsh appeal, and managing to hold the tears behind.
"Well I'm afraid that is all we have time for today ladies and gents... but let's give a big thank you once again to Adelynn Petrov." I stood up from my seat, letting my hand fall into Andy's before he shook it harshly. "It's been great having you here today Adelynn... I wish you and Mr Taylor all the best."
"Thanks." I smiled, walking off the so called stage in a hurry as I finally let a set of tears roll. As soon as I stepped out of the cameras view, I found myself practically falling directly into Roger's arms, the warmth and comfort of them already surrounding me with no hesitation.
He was there, right away. There to simply hold me. With no words even said... cause he knew them. He slowly waddled backwards with me still tightly wrapped in his grasp, holding me steadily until we found a small sofa to sit down onto.
"I can't believe he said that." I mumbled, nibbling at the edges of my nails as Roger shook his head and sighed.
"The prick out there or your dad ?"
"Both of them." I huffed. "We've gotta start reading the papers. I can't believe dad said that and I didn't know. I mean... the whole world can read that. Anyone. Everyone. And now they think I'm a fucking alcoholic with a drug problem who's gonna end up like her mum."
"For fuck sake."
"Atleast they know our truth. And that I'm not pregnant."
-
"Okay." I sighed, finally pulling myself out of Roger's hold as he pushed my hair back gently. "Promise me you'll call me when you get there yeah ?"
"Yes... as soon as I'm at the airport. I've got Julian's number- don't worry." Roger reassured me, smiling down at me as I nodded slowly. I'd been given a short amount of time to focus on the events of the interview on the journey to the airport, but soon enough I found myself stood outside its daunting doors saying my temporary goodbyes to the drummer.
"Thank you. For today. Being there." I smiled up at him, watching a small and subtle hue in his cheeks as he rolled his eyes playfully.
"Don't say thanks you twat. I wish there was more I could do." I shook my head, a small chuckle shared as I pulled his lips towards mine, savouring the feeling against them for a brief moment I knew couldn't last long. "Don't worry about the press it's gonna be fine."
"Is it ? I mean aren't you a little scared...?" He shrugged lazily, barely bringing his shoulders up as my eyebrows raised.
"Yeah a little... but I'm scared of things that aren't gonna happen. Don't let this get to you. I swear it's gonna be fine. These next two weeks are gonna fly by and it'll be fine."
"Stop being such a hopeless romantics and get on that flight before Freddie kills you."
"Good point." He pecked my cheek. "I love you Lynn."
"I love you too Rog."
-
"We literally all gasped in sync when he said that... I can't believe we didn't see the papers. It's so typical." Connie groaned, the arm she held my frame with attempting to gently stroke mine as I nodded and took another sip from my glass. I'd found myself in Julian's flat, a place that felt like my second home half the time, reminiscing the interview and the temporary goodbye with Roger.
It was all still new. A wound so fresh it's worst pain was yet to come. I didn't know entirely what to think of it. Any of it for that matter. The only thing on my mind was Roger leaving... only for a few weeks. But a few weeks I arguably needed him for.
"I hate him. So fucking much." I sighed, my eyes closing for a moment to embrace the memories that paired with talking about my dad. "And, I'm sorry, but we've gotta get literally every and any paper tomorrow. I need to know what they say."
"That interviewer was a sick little bastard. I can't believe some of the stuff he was saying. How he could do it I don't know." Leo added cautiously, glancing at Julian besides him as he nodded frantically.
"He's a cunt ! That what he is." Summer yelled, throwing her hands around dramatically. I couldn't help but laugh along with the rest of the room as her arms fell back besides her.
They may not of realised it then, but they were a greater comfort to me that anyone else ever would be. The four of them were owed everything by me. They were the four people I could always, always count on. Even then, even now. When I had Roger and when I didn't- they were always there.
And I had everything to thank them for. Luckily I had to thank them for being there that night, after waving Roger goodbye and an eventful interview, they were all there. And we spent the rest of the night playing every game we could in distraction, including twister (atleast some weird version of it), until I didn't even have a thought in my mind about the last several hours.
An- here yall go
thank you for reading :)