"Kay!"
The word thunders in my ear as Harry wraps his great, beefy arms around my neck and pulls me to him. I laugh into his chest, breathing in the familiar scent of freshly baked bread.
"Hey, Harry." I squeeze him back, choking slightly on the clouds of flour floating off his burly frame. "How have you been?"
"Never better, Red. Never better. I see you've brought some friends into our humble corner of the world." Harry releases me to peer over my head at Meg and the two Waster brothers lingering near the door of The Beacon.
"Indeed I have, Harry." I gesture to Meg, Jaron and Luca to come over, grinning slightly at the way all try to disguise their apprehension. There is something extremely satisfying about seeing a Queen, a chief and an arrogant hunter attempt to appear comfortable in the rowdy bar. The boisterous revelers crowding the space pay them little mind; these rough-and-tumble miners and traders are accustomed to unusual situations and everyone is already fully aware that their Queen is currently hosting a Waster chief. The patrons move dutifully out of Meg's way, offering her a respectful nod before glancing curiously at Jaron and Luca.
"Your highness. Always a pleasure." Harry tilts his head towards Meg when she arrives next to us.
"Harold, it's good to see you." Meg raises her voice to speak over the noisy din. Even clothed plainly in pants and a tunic she still manages to stand out amongst the crowd. The dim light hides the flush in her cheeks and the way she nervously twists her fingers together. I throw my arm casually around her back, steering her towards a table near the back of the room.
Harry's broad shoulders carve an easy path for us while Jaron and Luca follow closely behind. We are lead to our usual worn, wooden table near the window where Harry graciously grabs some extra chairs and the people already seated shift to make room for us.
I shout out greetings to my old friends, smiling widely at the familiar friendly faces. A barmaid wordlessly deposits several frothy steins on the table, rolling her eyes and grinning at the raucous cheers her delivery merits.
"Fine company you're keepin' these days, Red!" Someone shouts from the far end of the table. A girl with wild, frizzy hair girl raises her mug to Meg, winking boldly before her elbow slips off the table and ale spills over the rim of her cup.
"You'll always be of the highest class in my books, Haille!" I call back to her, joining Meg as we return her gesture of cheers and drink deeply.
"So what are you lot doing in deep, dark parts such as these?" Harry leans back casually from his seat on the bench next to me. "Did you escape?"
"Something like that." I gesture towards Jaron and Luca. The brothers sit in nearly identical positions; straightbacked with both hands gripping their steins tightly. "These two were kind enough to show me their home and I wished to return the favour. As for this one..." I tug the end of Meg's braid playfully, laughing when she swats my hand away. "I just figured she could use a break."
"Right you were about that." Meg cuts in. My jaw drops as I watch her drain the last of her ale in one gulp and daintily wipe her chin. On her other side Jaron raises his eyebrows, his lips twitching.
"And what about you, chief?" I lean forward, talking around Meg and directing my words to Jaron. "You've sent away your loyal minions. Could it be that the great king of the Wasters wishes to be released of his responsibilities for just this one night?"
In response he looks towards Meg before lifting his mug and smoothly tilting its contents down his throat. After a moment he slams the mug down and releases an almighty belch. Meg lets out a tiny, involuntary squeal as the rest of us cheer and Harry clambers back to the bar for another round.
As the evening wears on whatever tensions existed are gradually dissolved by the drink and the good cheer. Jaron and Luca are continually peppered with curious questions about the Wastelands and their tribes. Meg sips her drink carefully, making a point of speaking with each person in turn, moving socially and gracefully about the table. She asks about everyone's lives, jobs and families, genuinely interested in their responses. I grin as I watch her, making a mental note to bring her with me into the City more often. She seems relaxed and happy, the heavy weight of the burdens she has carried since the Revolution no longer apparent.
Eventually Luca ends up in the chair next to mine. His usually tightly-drawn shoulders are relaxed, his calm demeanour reminiscent of the time we spent in the oasis.
"Your friends are kind." He says, nodding to to my other side where Jaron is engaged in a tawdry conversation with Harry about the merits of Miner women.
"Yes, they're a good sort." Taking a sip of my drink. "I've known them my whole life."
"They are formerly Commoners?"
"Mostly." I glance around the table, grinning at the sight of Meg laughing uproariously with Samus, the one-eyed bartender.
"Then you were Common also?"
"Once upon a time." I look back towards him. "You've been paying close attention to Meg's history lessons, have you?"
"I did not know that your City was once divided. I find it very interesting."
"Interesting in retrospect." I tilt my head. "Not so much at the time."
He watches me for another moment. "Tell me about your Revolution."
"Meg has already told you that story." I twist my mug absentmindedly.
"But I wish to know your part in it."
A small smile tugs at my lips. "It was Will's idea."
"Your commander?"
"He wasn't Commander at the time. He was a doctor working in the Palace for Meg's father. Will recruited me to disguise myself as an Courtier and befriend Meg so that I could feed inside information to the rebels."
He rubs the scruff on his chin. "An elaborate plan."
"That's Will for you."
"Is that when you and your Queen became friends?"
"Not at first, but eventually." My heart flips with the lingering guilt I still feel at having lied to Meg about who I was for those months in the Palace.
"I can tell that she has much respect for you." I don't miss Luca's eyes darting towards his brother momentarily.
I glance over my shoulder at the Waster chief and back towards Luca. "Your brother respects you as well. I don't think you'd be here if he didn't."
"Jaron is protective of me, which is why he keeps me close. After Noah was taken Jaron began training me to share his duties."
"And is that what you want? To be chief?" I take another, thoughtful sip of my drink.
He doesn't answer immediately, drumming his fingers on the side of his cup. "I want to help my people, but I do not want to lead them." He says eventually.
I nod. "Have you told him?"
"He says that I will learn to want this." The hands covering his mug tense. "This is our family and our duty is to one another."
I feel the usual pang at his mention of family. "You are lucky to have people who care so much about you."
"As are you." He gestures down the length of the table and I follow his gaze, feeling a smile creep over my face at the sight of my friends talking and laughing with one another. Who would have thought that Courtiers and Commoners could ever sit together this way? Now with Luca and Jaron in our midst, I feel a spark of hope for how much more we are capable of.
These people may not be my blood, but they are my family.
I turn to face Luca fully. "I'm glad that I was able to show you my home."
He gives the slightest of nods. "As am I."
"So, Luca, now it is your turn to tell me something." I raise my eyebrows at him playfully. "What is it that you want, if not chiefhood?"
He meet my gaze directly. "I want nothing."
"Nothing?"
"No responsibilities, no attachments. I want to be free to go wherever I choose at any time. I want to follow my own will and no one else's."
I am quiet for a long moment as I study him. There is an earnestness in his face that I haven't seen before. Something that was lost behind his wall. I open my mouth to say something when Harry's large hand comes down heavily on my shoulder.
"Ah, I was wonderin' if your handsome young William would be joining us." Harry's words slur slightly and I start, not certain if I heard him correctly.
"What?" I look up towards the door, feeling my shoulders tighten when I am arrested by a familiar pair of steely grey eyes.
Will and Marc, along with a small handful of City soldiers are gathered near the entrance to the pub. They are dressed plainly, their civilian clothes signifying that they are off duty. Will spots me immediately and stops in his tracks, causing Marc to bump into him from behind.
I swear under my breath, my mind and stomach churning.
"Why aren't they comin' over?" Harry makes to raise his arm before I grab hold of his wrist and pin it to the table. His ruddy brow wrinkles in concern as he looks at me. "What's wrong?"
I bite my lip, feeling my cheeks redden from a combination of the drink and seeing Will. "It's complicated." I finally manage to say.
Harry's dark eyes dart back over my shoulder. "Well he's headin' this way. Want me to cut him off?"
"No, it's fine." I clench my jaw and push my chair back, wincing slightly at the vibration between wood and stone. I shoulder my way through the cramped space towards Will, feeling my heart pounding more heavily with each step.
"Outside." I say, ignoring the instinct to grab his hand on the way by. I don't have to look behind me to know that he is trailing my figure back through the crowd and out the front door. I step around the side of the bar and down into the side alley, keeping my face impassive as I cross my arms and turn to face him.
"What are you doing here?" I ask before he has a chance to speak.
"What does it look like? I'm having a drink with my friends." He takes a step closer so that we are both standing beneath the alleyway's single lantern. The flickering light dances across his face, accentuating the features I know so well. "Why are you here? I thought you'd be at the Palace with Meg."
"I am also out with my friends tonight." I uncross and re-cross my arms. "It just so happens that my friends are a Queen and a couple of Wasters."
His dark brows rise nearly to his hairline. "You brought Meg?"
"She's having a great time."
"What the hell are you thinking?" He face darkens as he struggles to keep his voice low. "Do you have any idea how incredibly dangerous it is for her to be out here?"
"It isn't dangerous!" How dare he. "I've known the people in this district my entire life. Do you really think that I would deliberately put my best friend in danger?"
"I don't know, Kay. I honestly can't comprehend the way you think sometimes." The torchlight quivers and causes his grey eyes to flash.
"That is becoming more and more apparent to me." I retort, my stomach lurching as I say the words. I glance away, studying the stone on the wall next to us. "I really don't need the lectures tonight, Will."
"I'm not lecturing you, I'm doing my godsforsaken job." My head snaps back up and I flinch inwardly at the tight set of his jaw as he clenches his teeth. The frustration and anger written there is a far cry from the anguish of last night. I feel my own annoyance begin to flare, furious that he can slip so effortlessly between caring lover and loyal commander while my own heart somersaults in my chest.
"Tell me, Will. When you took on this job, at any point did you intend to work with me? Or did you always mean to turn me into one of your foot soldiers?" My hands curl into fists as I give into the swell of anger boiling over inside of me.
He rubs a hand tiredly over his eyes. "Gods, Kay. I sincerely hope that one day you receive a taste of what it is to work with you. You are completely bullheaded and uncooperative. Your way is the best way and may the gods help anyone who tries to tell you otherwise."
I take a step back, stunned. "That's not true. I have always respected your ideas."
"Be that as it may, regardless it has never stopped you from acting on your impulses anyway." He raises his hand from his eyes to run it over his hair.
"I..." I catch my mouth hanging open and snap it abruptly closed. He watches me calmly, his eyes searching as I fight to keep from squirming under his gaze and force my addled mind back into gear.
"I don't want to control you, Kay." He takes another step forward. "Believe me, that is the last thing I would wish to do. Your spirit is one of the things I love so much about you."
I swallow, suddenly incapable of noticing anything but the lack of space between us.
"I know that I don't have the softest touch." His voice has turned gruff and my eyes automatically dart to his large hands, imagining the feeling of them on my flesh. I shake my head to clear it, dragging my focus back to his face. "But I care about you. If I am demanding it is only because I am trying to keep you safe. Can you blame me for that?"
He is now so close that I can feel his warm breath on my neck. The smell of sandalwood coats us as the sounds from the bar fade into the distance.
"We both want the same thing for one another, so why can't we make it work?" The question slips unchecked from my mouth. "Why can't this be simple?"
"If it were simple then it wouldn't be worth it." And suddenly his mouth is on top of mine, warm and all-encompassing. I automatically raise my hands up and pull him closer, feeling safe and small in his familiar embrace.
"No." I push him away, stumbling back a step with a hand to my still-pulsing lips as I stare at him. His eyes are burning, scorching me and causing the warmth from my lips to spread throughout my body.
"Kay..."
"Have you forgiven yourself for everything that's happened between us?" I interrupt him. "Has so much changed in a single day, Will?"
"It's never going to be that easy. I can't just make a decision to stop feeling the way I do."
"Neither can I. This is who I am. I already know that you can love me when I am stationary in an alleyway. What I need is for you to love me when I'm no longer standing still." My eyes blur slightly and I blink.
"It isn't a question of love. I will always love you, no matter what happens between us."
"Then what is missing? Is it trust? Respect? Forgiveness?" I take another step back, grimacing when my shoulders hit the unforgiving stone wall behind me. "Why can't you be with me, Will?"
The look that crosses his face breaks my heart anew. "Why can't you value yourself the way I value you? Why can't you see how important you are?"
"I..." I curse the immovable wall trapping me in the alley with him.
"Your life is precious, Kay. When will you realize that? How long must I stand idly by and watch you risk yourself before you finally recognize how much you matter?"
"This is who I am!" I shout. My hands fly forward to shove him but he catches my wrists instinctively.
"You are more than this." He holds my arms securely, his eyes boring into mine. "Stop pushing me away and let me show you."
"I don't need you." My voice is raw in my throat.
"That right there, Kay. That is what is missing." He drops my hands abruptly. My arms dangle listlessly at my sides. "You don't think you need anyone."
I stare at him, unwilling to speak, completely and utterly terrified that uttering a single word will release the sob constricting my body. For a long time we remain this way; ensconced in the too-familiar darkened alleyway, our breaths shuddering as we watch one another.
Finally he turns away, a shadow crossing his face and hiding his eyes. "I'll take my friends somewhere else tonight."
I don't respond, managing only to nod tightly. He turns back only once before his broad shoulders disappear into the street and around the corner. As soon as he is gone I lean back heavily against the cool stone facade, shutting my eyes and willing my heart back under control.
The sound of shuffling footsteps causes my eyes to fly open. I recognize the slender figure heading this way and relax consciously, waiting. Meg leans back against the wall next to me, wordlessly gripping my hand as we soak up the silence around us.
"Tell me if this hurt is worth it, Meg." I say finally. "I love him and I hate him. I don't know which is worse."
Her hand squeezes mine once. "I wish I could tell you that. It breaks my heart to see you this way."
I loll my head against the stone, staring up at the night sky, letting the stars blur. "I'm just tired. It's been a long few days."
"That's an understatement if I've ever heard one." She teases gently. She touches her head to mine, following my gaze upwards.
"I'm sorry I've spoiled your night out." I tell her.
"Don't be ridiculous, you've done no such thing. Thank you for bringing us here. I think this was exactly what we all needed."
"Queenhood doesn't have to be all seriousness." I poke her in the ribs. "Someone who can hold their drink as well as you should not be kept behind glass walls."
She lets out a small squeak and jumps away from my touch before daintily adjusting her tunic. "I can't speak to that, but it is nice to see the Wastelanders in a less frightening light."
"Frightening?" I raise my eyebrows in mock concern. "Does big, fearsome Jaron strike fear into the hearts of our beloved rebel Queen?"
"Not in the least." She replies firmly and with finality. "He is nothing but bluster and confrontation. I am happy that he seems willing to make peace but I won't miss him when he's gone."
"That's a shame." I sigh. "I do enjoy watching him challenge you. It's the best entertainment I've had in ages."
She rolls her eyes, leaning back again. I am about to speak when something sounds at the peripherals of my hearing. I concentrate, leaning out to look past Meg and staring down into far-off the gloom of the alleyway.
The shadows beyond the torchlight betray nothing. I shake my head, thinking I must have imagined whatever it was.
"Come on." I incline my head back towards the street. "Let's go get another drink."
Meg's blue eyes widen, staring at something over my shoulder. I whip my head around just in time to hear the release of an arrow from it's bow, in the next instant registering the sharp whistle as it cuts through the air, heading straight for us.