"Isn't it time for you to go", I asked Javi.
"Oh, yeah. It sucks I can't hang out longer."
"I know but you're all important now. I'm glad you were able to be here anyway."
"Same here", he said.
He brought me in again to kiss me one more time.
"I'll walk you to the door", I said.
I took his hand, guiding him past the people as if he would get lost. I'm more likely the one to get lost with my poor sense of direction. Luckily Tyler's house isn't a maze.
"See you around Maxine", he said.
"Same to you Hernandez", I said and then gave him a big hug before he left. I watched him from the door as he got into his car and then he drove off.
Suddenly, I caught a whiff of smoke, it made me cough as it blew in my direction. I turned my head to see who was smoking so close to the door. I was about to say something when I found out who the person was.
"Tyler?"
He didn't look at me when I called his name.
I closed the door so more smoke wouldn't go into the house.
"I didn't know you were here, when did you get here?"
"A while ago", he said.
That cigarette was done, and he started a new one.
"You know smoking is like, super bad for you", I said.
"Yeah", he said in a flat tone.
I gave him a look.
"What's your problem? You are supposed to be having fun."
He didn't say anything, he just moved the cigarette up to his lips followed by the lighter. Without thinking I quickly reached up, snatching the cigarette from his fingers.
He did not like that.
"What the hell", he said.
"I asked what's wrong with you, you're just standing there ignoring me."
"I had a long day, now give that back."
"Was that hard for you to say?"
"Give that back", he warned.
"No, this isn't good for you and...I can smell you already had a few drinks. I don't know much about that stuff but...it can't be good to have both."
"It's none of your business now get lost!"
I felt my heart beating faster as well as my breathing. I was mad. My hand darted up, snatching his lighter before turning around to walk away.
"What the—"
I ignored him as I walked along the house, venturing to the side. I could hear him following me.
How dare he talk to me like this, as if I did something to him. I don't care how hard his day was, he should not take it out on me!
My plan was to go to the pool and throw these in the water before I take my leave. This party is officially ruined by him. He's such a jerk.
"Stop", he ordered.
"No."
"I said stop now! That's my stuff!"
"I don't care!"
I almost reached the backyard, that's when I felt him grab my arm, not hard though. I turned around, dropping the cigarette and lighter so I could move his hand off of me. It was a fail.
"Let me go", I said with a stern voice.
"Give me back my stuff."
"No! Especially since you're being a jerk. I shouldn't do anything nice for you anymore!"
"I said I was having a rough day, I just needed that to—"
"I don't care", I shouted.
He calmed down for a moment, it caught him by surprise.
I finally managed to roughly pry his hand off of me but it was so much force I fell backward onto my butt, luckily there was grass to break my fall. Seeing an opening, he darted down to try and snatch up what was his, my hand quickly came over to cover it first. He was on the ground with me. If this was going to be a fight then so be it. I'm so tired of him treating people any way he wants.
He stared into my eyes intensely, I did the same thing back. He didn't scare me.
"Maybe if you would apologize, I might consider—"
I was cut off suddenly. His lips were on mine.
I froze in place, in complete shock as to what was happening right now. My brain could not comprehend this.
What?
A moment passed; his lips were still on mine. He's...kissing me. I then felt him starting to back away until his eyes found mine again. We didn't say anything. I felt like, I had to get out of here.
I stood up and then ran past him.
"Sarina", he called out.
I didn't stop. I don't know why I'm running away.
I just kept on going. It was freezing out here, especially since I was wearing something clearly not meant for this weather. Grace pretty much forced me to dress up as a schoolgirl. This uniform would break all dress code rules. Even though I was shivering, that didn't make me turn around. I kept on walking until I spotted a taxi. I flagged it down and then arrived at headquarters.
I stood out there for a moment looking up at the tall building before entering. I went up to where I was staying and then straight to bed, my body sank into the warm covers. My brain replayed over and over again what had just happened.
He kissed me, but why?
I felt so confused. What's more confusing was that I didn't stop him, I didn't want to stop him. If a person suddenly kisses you, your response is to push them away since it's an unwelcome kiss. This felt different. Javi kisses me all the time and to compare, this was very different.
I don't understand my feelings.
He's a jerk. A terrible person who's... sometimes nice and caring and...brave.
Shifting in bed I finally sat up and lifted my knees up, burying my face into them.
"Sarina?"
I didn't look up. I can't face him.
"Just go away. You can have your stupid cigarettes. I don't care."
I heard his footsteps come closer and closer until I could feel his presents before me. I could sense him kneeling down in front of me.
"Please look at me", he said in a calm quiet voice.
I didn't move.
"Please", he whispered.
I hate it. I hate when he's a jerk and then he's this...caring and apologetic.
I felt my face heat up followed by my eyes filling with tears.
What? Why am I...crying?
I couldn't hold back, I can't control it. My arms quickly came up around my face to hide as I started crying more.
I don't understand.
"I'm sorry...", he whispered.
His arms came around me, bringing me in. I finally lifted my head up to rest on his shoulder and I hugged him back. I allowed him to hold me, I need this.
~
It was the next day after the Halloween party. I guess I cried myself to sleep. I don't remember falling asleep or having the covers over me. Tyler must have done it. I rolled over to see the other side of the bed was empty, it didn't look like he was here last night. I wonder if he left.
I got up to look for him. I went into the living room. That's when I heard the toilet flush in the bathroom out here. I went over to see the door was open and then I saw Tyler sitting on the floor next to the toilet.
"Are you okay?"
He nodded.
He did not look okay at all.
"Hangover", I asked.
"Yeah, I didn't eat at the party and well..."
"I can make you something."
"No. I can take us somewhere. Just let me get ready first."
"Are you sure?"
"Yeah, I'll be fine."
I didn't want him to push himself but if he insisted, I wasn't going to protest.
I left him to be as I needed to get ready myself. I went back to the bedroom to use the bathroom to wash up.
A few minutes later I was ready. I saw that Tyler was too.
"Where did you get the change of clothes from", I asked.
"I brought it while you were sleeping."
"Ah I see, when you have nothing to wear you just buy some more", I said in a sarcastic tone.
"You should know my life by now."
"And yet I'm still surprised."
"Come on, let's go."
We had some breakfast at a diner and then once we were done, we took our warm drinks with us while we went for a walk. We both can sense the elephant in the room but neither one of us wanted to speak first. I don't even know what to say.
"Are you okay", Tyler asked.
I looked up at him, he was still facing ahead. He really didn't want to talk but he's forcing himself for my sake.
"Yes. What about—"
He stopped walking.
"I know sorry isn't enough for what I did and I thought about why I did that. I was drunk and..."
"Confused..."
He looked at me. I quickly looked away.
"O-Or maybe that was just all me."
I saw his feet move until he was standing in front of me.
"Why do you feel confused? I would think you would feel hatred towards me because...I forced myself on you."
I quickly looked up at him.
"You didn't force yourself on me at all!"
"I did because I was drunk. I should have never...", I could see in his eyes how mad he is at himself.
I wonder if there is more behind it, I know there is more to it on my end but, I feel like I need more time to figure it all out before I can tell him.
I reached out to take his hand.
"Tyler, you in no way forced yourself on me. I didn't feel that way at all. It's just, I need some more time to think about it and I think you do too, you know? Maybe, it wasn't because you were drunk but you're just telling yourself that. I-I mean...never mind...don't listen to my blabbering..."
I don't know the truth behind it, I'm just assuming, more like hoping it wasn't just that.