"Hello sir, nice to see you early this morning."
"Get the hell out of my seat."
I set my stuff down on my desk, waiting for Josh to move out of my chair.
"And you woke up on the wrong side of the bed like usual."
"No I didn't. I just like things to be the way they are when I first come to work."
He stood up.
"And that's your problem. You are so stuck in doing the same thing."
I sat down.
"There's nothing wrong with that."
"There's a lot wrong. It's boring."
I rolled my eyes.
"Whatever. Anyway, any updates? I heard we got more members turning themselves in."
"I know, it's crazy they actually want to be incarcerated."
"Can you blame them though? Cosen is going after them, left and right. They rather be locked up and alive than dead out on the streets", I said.
"Well, looks like we will finally have what we've worked hard for. A dramatic decrease in crime", he said.
"Numbers are a record low. It would be great to celebrate but, the numbers aren't dwindling down for a good reason. We recently discovered that Cosen operates over the deep web."
"At least we tracked the person who created that chat room where people were hiring people to kill their bosses, coworkers or pretty much anyone they had beef with", he said.
"It's disgusting. I'm glad we put a close to that site. We need more information about him, we just have a name but no location."
"Did you look him up", he asked.
"Yeah and...I'm surprised, it doesn't look like he was hiding. He goes by the name Quinn."
"Quinn?"
"Yeah. Not sure if that's his real name or some username, no last name. I'm sure they tried to get his real name but he just refused. Since they don't know his real name, they can't find a record on him except for what he was already arrested for. Nothing about his family either."
"How did he end up in prison?"
"First degree murder. Was sentenced to death at the age of 15, the youngest in the state but his sentence was reduced to life due to his age and then he was let go."
"Let go?!"
"Yeah, I don't see any documents about it. No reasoning or anything like that."
"That makes no sense. They just let go of a murder?"
"It doesn't make sense to me neither. This took place in Maine and the prison was...East River State Prison. We'll try to find out more information."
"Of course, it's the state prison. Those fuckers are up to no good. I'm not surprised anymore."
"If there's crooked staff there, especially tbe warden, they could have easily hid paperwork to make this all happen."
"What happened after he was 'released'?"
"It's goes blank after that, as if he doesn't exsist anymore. This all happened about 20 years ago."
"Maybe he joined Cosen and they helped him somehow."
"If that's the case then, we might have a date of when they started, or at least a start. I doubted they just popped out of nowhere."
"How old is he?"
"He should be 35 now", I said.
"So maybe Cosen started around 20 or more years ago."
"We can probably start saying that Cosen originated at minimum, 20 years ago."
"Okay so then the crime boss would be how old? Obviously he would be older since he's more experienced."
"That's what we are thinking but we can't let that be the only option. The origional crime boss could have died years ago and now someone new takes the seat."
"Well, once we get him, we can finally have some answers about Cosen."
"That's the plan", I said.
I leaned back in my seat, letting out a long sigh. My fingers moved up to my face to pinch the bridge of my nose.
"Think you'll be okay during the meeting. I have a feeling it's gonna to be long", Josh said.
"I have no choice, I called for it. Besides, this is the first meeting we've had in a long time with everyone. We have a lot of information to cover as well as to plan on how to find Quinn and capture him."
"Yeah, well...we have a few minutes until it starts. Just rest up a little. I'll meet you at the meeting later."
I nodded.
~
I ended up getting some shut eye, not intentionally. My body forced myself to sleep as I was exhausted like usual. I haven't been sleeping well, it's not because of the stress of the case, what happened recently with Sean has been haunting me. I've been tossing and turning in my sleep, waking up in a cold sweat. Just talking about it gives me that feeling again, anxiety, fear, panic...just like that day.
It was time for the meeting. I was the last one to arrive. It was a full house like I hoped, I know everyone couldn't attend but the majority of us are here. Captain Bells sat up front where I will take my seat next to him.
"Right on time", he said.
I chuckled. "Sorry, I had a power nap."
He looked at me.
"I need you at your best Hanson, you need to take care of yourself."
"Yes sir."
"Anyway. Time to open up the meeting. I'm eager to hear everything you guys discovered."
I nodded.
"I'm glad to see everyone here today, I know it takes away from your busy schedules but today we have to discuss some important information involving Cosen."
I looked down at my notes I made to make sure I don't miss anything important.
"It was very difficult to start this case. Gathering information was slow but finally we are getting somewhere. In the beginning we've discovered gangs were recruiting students from Greenwaters High school to sell their drugs. It's no surprise that these students had relatives who are also involved. We got lucky that one of them was close to a gang leader who sided with us. He gave us lots of important information, one of which is the dark websites that a member of Cosen was running. This involved horrific details of plots to kill those who had high status and power such as CEOs and other members of society who are at risk of being harmed. As you all know, recently I teamed up with our neighboring police department to help out and met with one of the victims of Cosen, Sean. Unfortunately, I...we couldn't save him from what they've poisoned his mind with."
I paused for a moment, the images of that day replaying in my head. I let out a quiet breath. It feels like I'm there right now. He was looking right at me, I remember the fear in his eyes and a hint of hesitation. It was like he didn't want to do it but he had no way out. These individuals who reach out to Cosen must get so caught up in their trap that they can't escape. Their only way out really is...death.
Just then I heard a loud sound that caused me to jump.
"Oh...sorry everyone", an officer said.
She had dropped one of her heavy folders.
It reminded me of the sound the gun made...followed by the droplets of blood that scattered everywhere.
I can't do this.
My hands gripped the desk tightly, my knuckles turned white. I suddenly felt hot.
Everyone's looking at me.
I jumped again at the touch of my captain. He came close to me so only I could hear him.
"I know what you're feeling, I've witnessed that too many times. I bet you are feeling all kinds of things...and I know what happened to you all those years ago is making it worse."
"Captain I-"
"What I need from you right now is to go out and take a moment to compose yourself. That's an order. I have your notes here, I can take over."
I looked at him.
He nodded at me and then patted me on the back. I stood up straight and then headed out, avoiding eye contact with everyone as I left.
I went straight to my office, shutting the door after myself. Here, I can just let go. No one can judge me or think any less of me. I learned that holding in those feelings is really bad for me. When I'm feel it, I have to let it come and then pass, no matter how terrible it gets since it's hard to fight.
I went over to my couch to lay down. What I was feeling didn't end up intensifying like last time.
I can't believe that happened in front of everyone!
Facing everyone again will be a challenge, I feel so embarrassed right now. They are all relying on me to lead this case, to be the responsible one, to always be there to count on. Here I am, still shaken by something that happened a while ago.
My arm came over my eyes to shield the light. As I lay there I heard some mumbling outside my door followed by the sound of someone opening it.
Must be Josh.
I closed my eyes.
"O-Oh...I'm sorry...they said you were-"
I quickly sat up.
"What are you doing here", I asked Sarina.
"I-I..."
I stood up, quickly approaching her. She looked nervous.
"I told you not to get involved in this anymore! How hard is that to follow", I said, pretty much shouting by now.
She shrunk down, still looking at me.
What am I doing? Why am I shouting at her?
"I'm sorry...", she said and then turned to leave.
I let out a deep sigh to calm myself down. Before she reached the door I caught her wrist, causing her to look at me.
"Stop...I'm sorry...I'm...not in a good place right now...I didn't mean to-"
I let her wrist drop.
"I just came here to see how the case was going. I didn't hear back for a while and was wondering if there anything else I could do. I remember what you said and I am in no way was interested in getting involved in the case. You don't have to worry."
I stood there for a moment, looking at her.
"It's...slow..."
"I see...um...do you like ice cream", she asked randomly.
I raised my eyebrow.
"What?"
"Ice cream...do you like it?"
"Why are you asking me that?"
"Because it looks like you can use some..."
That made me scoff, I'm speechless. After all the stress I'm going through and the issue I just had at the meeting, she come to me to ask this. It's like, no matter how many bad things happen in your life, there is still a good side, life is always a balance. I guess I kept on focusing on the bad, letting it consume me. I wish I could easily switch my brain over to the good side once in a while. Good is all around us after all, you just have to keep your eyes peeled.
I folded my arms.
"Not really..."
She gave me a look like I was crazy. The same look I gave to her after she asked me about ice cream.
"You just haven't tasted all the flavors there are. I'll be back with a few...that is...if you'll let me of course. I-I just figured...you need something to cheer you up right now."
I have a meeting to get back to, one of the most important one I've had in a long time. The thing is...I can't, I shouldn't. She's like a sign, telling me not to right now because, I need to take care of myself. I need to trust in my team more, I have to stop pretending I have to do of this all on my own. It's harder to do that than it sounds, for now I'll start with this.
"Yeah, sure."
She smiled.
"I'll be right back!"
I watched her leave and waited there in my office for my first ice cream in years.