Caroline’s POV
It had been two weeks since everything broke apart.
I spent my days doing a regular boring motionless routine. I would get up, shower, go to work, work, come back, eat, and then go to bed. I wouldn’t talk to anyone unless I was at work.
My dad was worried about me as he took up the guest bedroom across the hall from me. He would rake his fingers gruffly through his hair when I left for work.
I knew I was terrible. I didn’t speak a word to him, or Louis, or anyone. I needed to be quiet. I didn’t smile the whole entire time. I had gotten better from my sickness but I still felt empty and disgusting inside.
I was a bitch, a true one.
I was mute, even Luke was worried about me. He kept trying to make jokes with me to make me smile. I didn’t laugh either. That killed everyone. I was like Louis, hyper and outgoing.
But now, I was silent and lifeless.
I was lying in bed, it was around 5 in the morning. My shift would start at 7. I kept thinking about this every morning.
Why did my life spiral out of control?
Why did I have to like both Harry and Zayn?
WHY?!!
My alarm clock beeped right on time at 5:30 am and I smacked it to shut it off. I slowly sat up in my bed leaning backwards on my arms. I slid my legs over to the side of my bed and I planted my bare feet on the cold floor.
I cracked my back then my neck. I stood up and walked to my closet. I picked out a pair of short shorts and a tank top with a loose t-shirt on top. I walked to my door and pressed my ear to it. I heard nothing luckily.
I opened my door and stepped out quickly rushing across the floor silently to the open bathroom. I stepped inside and locked the door leaning my back against it.
Nobody is ever awake this early, a reason why I get ready and rush to work hoping to slip under everyone’s radar. Except one thing stops that from happening.
Everyone cares too much.
Chelle keeps trying to get me to talk even if it’s a casual conversation or she locks us in my room and she starts yelling at me to talk. Louis has been begging me to say something, to show emotion even. He keeps calling me nicknames that I loved when we were younger, but he mostly calls me ‘baby girl’.
It hurts me to see the two I love most like this, but it hurts me to see my dad the most. He doesn’t know anything that’s going on. He doesn’t know that I was attacked and Harry saved me, he doesn’t know the reason I went out that night was to find Zayn and make things right.
He doesn’t know that I flirt endlessly with Luke even though we’re just friends. He doesn’t know that I lied to everyone and caused such fusses and problems to everyone.
He doesn’t know the woman he married is cheating on him.
I sighed deeply feeling my heart shatter into tinier pieces. I stripped and jumped in the shower. I washed myself, shaving and stuff then hopped out. I dried myself off then I put my new clothes on. I opened the door and nearly ran into a figure.
I looked up and saw Louis standing there with dark circles and bags under his blue eyes. He looked like he hadn’t slept the whole time since the forest incident. His eyes widened a bit since I came face to face with him. That rarely happened in the last two weeks.
I wasn’t this close to anybody since the forest. I kept my literal distance from everyone not wanting to be more than two meters to someone I might hurt.
“Carol-” Louis was about to talk but I pushed passed him. I raced into my room with my dirty clothes in hand.
I shut the door locking it at the same time. I put my dirty clothes in the mesh hamper I had and then walked to my night stand. I turned on my iPhone and saw the same messages that I kept getting. Everyone was texting me to try to get a word out of me.
Louis: Love, please talk to me!! I need to know what’s going on!! xx
Chelle: what’s wrong?! Why aren’t you speaking to me or any0ne?? Did someone find out that you liked both Zayn and Harry?? x
Dad: Caroline, I’m only here for a short time and I have no idea why you aren’t talking to me. Please Caroline, before I go tell me what’s wrong. I love you no matter what. Remember that.
Zayn: Caroline, I know we aren’t really stable right now since that night I…told you I liked you but please tell me what’s up. Did you try to run away?
Liam: Niall always listens xox
Harry: I’m sorry, I know I’m a horrible person. I’m sorry, Caroline what can I do to make it up to you??? I’ll do anything! X
I stopped looking at the messages there. I couldn’t take this anymore. They were dying inside just like me.
I wanted to throw my phone out the window. Hell! I wanted to throw myself out the window. I couldn’t take being alone and quiet! I needed to tell someone on the inside how I felt! Luke, yes he knows a lot of it but I need someone who knows the boys and me very well.
Niall always listens….Liam, you’re a genius.
Niall was the only one of the boys that didn’t pry, he didn’t force me to talk he just watched me with sad eyes. Even Niall didn’t laugh anymore.
I sighed, grabbed my bag and stuffed my things into it. I needed to get out of here, I knew Louis would be standing out in the hall waiting for something, anything to happen between him and I.
I looked around my room and I sighed sadly to see that I would be leaving a different way than the traditional. I slowly and quietly walked to my window and opened it. I draped one leg out hoisting the bag higher on my shoulder.
I stepped out onto the fire escape and looked down. Bad move Caroline, bad move. I felt the goose bumps rise along my arms as I saw how high I was.
I closed the window and then slowly and carefully made my way down the metal steps. My converse squeaked with every simple step I took.
I was going to die.
I was going to die.
I was GOING TO DIE!!!
I made it to the ground and I sighed. Now that that was over I made my way down the darkish street on my way to Victoria’s. It was a chilly morning even though it was about the middle of July.
Many people were walking around even though it was still about 6 in the morning. I guess people were just pouring out of the bars now.
Speaking of bars…
“-and then I banged that chick!!” I heard a familiar voice say.
I looked up and I saw the one and only Harry Styles standing there with his arm draped around some strangers shoulder. Harry had a bottle of alcohol in his hand and he kept drinking from it.
What was he doing?!
“Caroline?” I heard. I looked and saw Harry’s green eyes stare into mine. “Are you real?” he said reaching forward to see if I was in fact real. Harry’s friend laughed while gripping his side from what Harry said.
Harry then looked at the guy and burst out laughing with him, “Of course she isn’t here, why would she?” his friend asked.
I widened my eyes and walked around them. Harry was still laughing like a crazy drunk fool he was and his eyes followed mine when I moved away from him continuing my journey.
“Caroline?” Harry asked letting go of the guys shoulders. “Caroline!!” Harry shoved his friend away dropping the glass bottle.
It broke into a million pieces, just like my heart.
I then went into a full on sprint to get away from him. Harry kept on calling my name, that only made me run faster.
I couldn’t stand to look at him, he made my stomach churn making me want to throw up. Zayn did the same but he caused me to have such a terrible headache too.
I hated not talking to the ones I liked. It was just terrible. And seeing them all the time did not help at all. It was terrible and cruel the things I was doing to try to push myself away.
I wasn’t the person I was before.
I ran to the diner and I looked around to make sure Harry and his drunken mate didn’t follow me this far. I knew Harry would go back to Louis and Zayn’s flat to pass out. Louis had been staying with Chelle in her room and the rest of the four band members took up the flat that Louis rented out, it was also next door to my wall sadly.
I saw Victoria’s familiar dark hair and she looked up at me, face grim. She knew something was off with me. Hell! Normal customers knew something was off with me, nobody asked though.
“Hi, Caroline.” Victoria said taking out her keys to the diner. I nodded my head at her in response and she sighed finding the right key. “Still not talking?” she questioned peaking up at me as she stuck the key into the lock. I didn’t even acknowledge her after that. If she was going to push, I’d pull. “Let’s go then.”
I entered the dark diner and went straight to the back room. From all the mornings I came here early I knew my way in the dark, no need for lights anymore I guess.
“Watch your eyes.” I heard Victoria say and not a moment later the lights flickered on. I slipped off my bag and took out an elastic to stuff my brown messy wavy locks into a pony tail. I then slipped my phone out of the bag and stuffed it in my shorts pockets. “Wanna help me set up?” she asked when she was situated. I looked up at her and nodded once and followed her out of the room, into the hallway, and into the main part of the diner.
It was the normal thing to do now, get ready with her. I knew how everything went and I even perfected the routing to make it more efficient. She tossed me a clean rag and a bottle to go clean down the tables again. We always did it before and after work.
I started from one side of the place then I worked my way to the other as Victoria got the kitchen running with some food for us. A half hour later it was almost time for opening. People would soon arrive, Chelle, Luke, Morgan –the other girl that worked here rarely- and of course the customers.
I sat at the counter knowing I was done for now. I could see through the small counter into the kitchen. Victoria was humming along to a song I didn’t know as she danced around the kitchen Luke would be in soon.
Then she looked up all of a sudden and caught me staring at her. When our eyes met I froze from embarrassment.
“Victoria?” I questioned my voice cracking from the one word. That just proves how long it’s been since I’ve uttered a word.
“Yes, Caroline?” she asked back quietly and astonished to hear my voice after so long. Her face was calm to not spook me into silence again but her eyes were exploding with joy from my voice.
I knew I needed to talk to her. She didn’t know anything that was going on with me and she cared enough about me. Ever since I started working here she’s been like my missing mom. Hell! She could be my mom! I needed to ask her something while I was speaking, I needed to say something before all the courage was lost in me.
“Can I move in with you?”
What?! She's leaving?!
What's going to happen now?!
I know it was a bit of a sad chapter but just bare with me, I needed to explain how she was feeling and the mental toll it was taking on her :(
What team are you?
Team Harry?
Team Zayn?
What will happen with the boys in the next chapter?
Find out in chapter 22:
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I LOVE YOU ALL MY LOVELY LOVES!!