The next morning everything feels off. Firstly, my head is heavy with pain and I see that Edward and Myra's bunks have both been emptied. Two initiates gone in one night. Most everyone's rankings have changed except mine. Al was saved from being cut due to this act of violence.
1. Rita
2. Russ
3. Peter
4. Will
5. Christina
6. Molly
7. Tris
8. Drew
9. Al
Two of the Dauntless born were cut, I'm still number one... somehow. Edward being attacked has made it hard for any of us to be proud of ourselves. Peter seems weirdly fine. It irks me but I think he may have done it. So does Tris.
We're given a day off because of what's happened but I don't want anything more than to train. I shower and dress like we're training before sneaking off to the gym. While I may be first, who knows what's going to happen with the fear simulations.
David said this is where he began slipping in the ranks, he wasn't very good at fighting his fears. He told me the key is remembering it's not real, but not to do anything crazy. "Solve them rationally, look for things already in the simulation."
I haven't the slightest idea what my fears are–save for heights. Hopefully, I'm not thrown off of a Ferris wheel over and over again. That'd suck.
The gym looks empty when I enter and flick the lights on. I pull my shoes and then my socks off and stretch first. I only have my scarf pinned to my hair that's in a low pony. My hopes are that nobody finds me in here so I can relax on my own. I need some quiet.
For the first 30 minutes, I take my time stretching my limbs and cracking my joints that need it. When I crack my back, I swear I see stars, it felt so good. Then I get to putting all of my pent-up anger into the punching bags.
The throwing knives were left out and I made good use of them. I mess around a little bit and almost slice off my pinkie toe. I came up with different ways to throw the knives in flamboyant ways. It's fun and keeps me entertained for a while until I hear the door shut. I spin around and my throat closes up when I see Four.
"I didn't expect to see you in here." I drop the knife I was twirling over my knuckles and jump back so I don't cut myself again.
"What are you doing here?" I ask.
Four points to the gun range, "It's my day off, why not?" He shrugs.
"We can use the guns while you or Eric aren't here?"
"Oh, god no. They're locked up so you idiots don't..." His voice falls off, he's probably thinking about what happened with Edward.
"That makes sense, can I?" Four shrugs, "Thanks. I need some practice with them anyway."
Four unlocks the door with a key and lets me pass through first, "Where are your shoes?"
"In the gym, should I put them back on? I miss walking around barefoot."
"I did just see you almost cut your foot didn't I?" I take that as a cue to go grab my shoes. While I do that, he gets two pistols out of the lockup for us.
I return with shoes on, ready to practice shooting again. I grab my pistol and check it, dropping the clip into my hand to check if it's got ammo. It's empty so I make myself busy filling the magazine to the top. "Huh?" I ask.
"Only use two total clips, okay? I come in here often but I think they'd know I let you in here if they notice extra missing."
"They count how many bullets there are?" How weird.
"Of course, they do. It's how we've lasted so long, resources like bullets are important to keep track of."
I shrug, "I guess, I don't see why it matters when they're only ever used for training." I snap the clip into place. I test the weight, getting used to it. I practice the stance I remember Four doing as best as I can before turning the safety off.
"Bend your knees," His voice breaks through my focus and I almost glare at him before seeing how tense I am. It's probably got to do with the fact that Four's right beside me. I stiffen up when I feel him gently moving my shoulders so my arm isn't bent at an awkward angle. Then he bends my elbow just a tiny bit.
My entire body is on fire, he didn't touch me improperly or anything but I still feel like he was way closer than he actually was. I close my eyes and take a deep breath, pushing the safety button so it's off. Then I fire and am once again in awe of how hard this tiny gun tries to throw me back.
"Wow, recoil is a bitch." I say, handing the gun off to Four in favor of rubbing my elbow. I watch him as he dons his shooting posture.
He looks a bit funny holding the small gun, I think he'd fit a rifle like those paintball guns. Four shoots the gun five or so times before stopping to examine his aim. Without saying anything, he gives the gun back to me.
"You're too anxious to even hold it, breathe."
I hate that he can tell I'm nervous. It's not my fault I feel that way when he's around. This stupid (possible) crush is seriously distracting me. I bet I'm not even the first initiated to make heart eyes at Four. He's so pretty it hurts sometimes. I'm sure he's used to the attention.
"Sorry," I murmur but do my best to loosen up. I fire again, then a second time. Stopping to see how well I did. "Huh." I hit the human-shaped target in the shoulder and thigh. "That'd slow someone down," I look at his again, a headshot, one in the chest and one in the throat.
Four's aim is much deadlier than mine. "Please help, what do I do besides loosen up?"