Today was the day Buck was being discharged. Buck was more than excited to get out of this gloomy place that he is all too familiar with. At this point, they may as well dedicate a room to Buck for how many times he has been here. It was now 8:30AM and his discharge time was 9AM.
Buck kept all his focus on the clock across the room, waiting for each minute to pass. The doctor then walks into the room, snapping Buck out of his focus.
"Good Morning, Buck! How are you feeling today?" The doctor asks.
"Excited to get out of here." Buck says with a small smile.
"I bet you are! The nurses are getting all your discharge forms ready now as well as the belongings you had on you when you arrived. The next two weeks are vital Buck. You must get a lot of rest, stay hydrated, eat a lot of nutrients, and here is the number to a friend of mine who specializes in sexual assault cases. Physical health is super important but mental health matters just as much." The doctor explains while handing out a card to Buck.
Buck shivers at the words. This was his life now. He used to be fearless and confident but now he just feels weak and scared. Chase was still out there, waiting for him. As much as he wants to leave this hospital, stepping outside frightened him so much.
"We also called Bobby and Athena, they are on their way now to pick you up"
"Thank you Doc, you guys have been nothing but amazing. Thank you for saving my life" Buck responds.
"Take care of yourself, Buck." The doctors says with a big smile, stepping out of the room.
Minutes have passed and Buck went back to focusing on the clock. He has nothing better to do anyways.
The nurse walks into Bucks room with a bag full of his belongings, and papers that he needed to sign.
"Here you go, Buck. These are the things you had on you when you arrived. Whenever your discharge time hits, just bring the filled out forms to the receptionist, okay?" The nurse explains.
"I understand, thank you." Buck says with a small smile and with that, the nurse is gone.
Buck fills out all the forms first, just wanting to get that part over with and out of the way.
Buck then looks down at the bag, opening in and immediately noticing the blood stained clothes on top. Buck pulls out the shirt first, wincing at how much blood was on it and the rips the covered it.
"Damn, that was my favourite shirt." Buck mutters out.
Next, he pulls out a pair of black skinny jeans, also covered in blood and completely ripped up. Buck immediately tenses up when he notices the main rips are on the backside of the jeans. Before Buck could think of it too much, he throws the bloodied clothes to the side. He then pulls out his keys for his Jeep and home, and lastly, his cell phone.
Buck sighed out when he realized that his phone was completely shattered. He tried turning it on but it was no use. It was done. This was the final straw for Buck, he lowered his head into his palms and let out a long time coming sob. He knows it was silly to cry over some ripped up clothes and a broken phone but they represented how Buck felt, broken and useless.
"What's wrong, baby?" Athena's voice echoed through the room.
"It's stupid, don't worry about it." Buck muffled out, head still in his hands.
"hey, I will never judge you or your feelings. Talk to me, Buckaroo." Athena reassured.
"It-it's just my ripped up clothes and broken phone, I know it's stupid to think about but it feels like they used to represent the old Buck, who was strong, brave and confident, and now they represent this Buck, who is torn, shattered and useless." Buck cried out in one breathe.
Athena grabs the clothes beside Buck, scanning over all the items. You can visibly see the change in her face.
"I otta give them a piece of my mind for giving you these back! That's just triggering!" Athena says in a rage.
"N-no it's okay. I needed to see them" Buck says in a quiet tone.
"Look at me, baby. Yes, you may feel broken and shattered right now, given what's happened to you, that's a completely valid feeling. However, you are not useless. You are still that strong, brave, and confident boy that I met all those years ago, you just need help getting back there. That's why we are here." Athena assures buck, tears dwelling in her eyes.
"Thank you mom- I-I mean Athena." Buck stutters.
"No you got that correct the first time, son." Athena responds with a loving grin.
"Now if only your DAD would stop moping around and get everything ready. We also brought you a fresh pair of clothes" Athena says looking towards Bobby.
"Oop- sorry honey." Bobby responds, causing Buck to chuckle. He hands the new clothes to Buck.
"You ready to go home, Bucky boy? Bobby asks, looking over at Buck.
"I sure am" Buck responds.
Bobby grabs Bucks discharge papers, walks out of the room and hands them to the nurse. Athena leaves the room so that Buck can change into his clothes. A few moments later, Buck walks out, ready to finally leave. Athena and Bobby look over to their son, happy to see him in anything but that ugly hospital gown.
"Do I look okay?" Buck asks shyly.
"You look very handsome." Athena responds.
This caused Bucks cheeks to turn red. It had been awhile since anyone complimented Buck. He wasn't sure how to react to it.
"Unfortunately, hospital protocols says that you need to be pushed in a wheelchair. It's just a safety call." Bobby says.
Ugh.
"Do I really have too?" Buck whines out.
"Yes sir. Now sit that tooshie down." Athena says while bringing forward the wheelchair.
Buck obliges and sits down, feeling embarrassed to be pushed around in this. As they make their way downstairs and out to the car, all the nurses and doctors wish Buck a speedy recovery and warm wishes. Buck appreciated the care so much. It felt nice to be cared for again.
The drive to Bobby and Athena's was kind of long. They live about 30 minutes from the facility. Buck took this time to take a well needed nap. His body was still exhausted from the trauma it went through. The next time Buck opened his eyes, he see's that they've finally arrived.
Buck wishes he was smaller so he could be carried inside, just like he always tried to do when he was a kid. However, Bucks real parents didn't like his tactic and would just leave him in the car and lock it.
"Hey sleepy head, are you okay to walk or do you want me to carry you inside?" Bobby asks as if he just read Bucks mind. The fact that he offered made Buck wanna cry.
"Bobby, as much as I would love that, I really don't think you could carry my weight, we don't need to go back to that hospital." Buck responds with a wide grin.
"Oh yeah? Wanna bet?" Bobby responds with an even wider grin.
"20 bucks says you can't even get me to that front door."
Before Buck knew it, his door was being opened, and he felt two large arms reach under him, quick panic taking over Buck but immediately realizing his was in a safe space. He wrapped his arms around Bobby's neck and to Bucks surprise, the man easily picked him up, also closing the door and carried Buck through the front door and resting him down on the living room couch.
"I'll take that 20 bucks now." Bobby says, catching as much air into his lungs as he can.
"Oh you thought I meant dollars? No I meant I'd just give you 20 versions of myself." Buck snickers.
"Smartass" Bobby says, leaning in an giving a Buck a kiss on the forehead.
Athena walks in, carrying Bucks belongings and laughing at her two boys.
"Alright boys, Buck needs to rest. I'll start making supper in the meantime. Buck, you're in the spare room across from ours. Maddie brought over everything you'd need from your apartment so go make yourself at home." She insists.
Buck does as he's told and makes his way towards the room. He opens it up and his jaw almost drops to the floor. Surrounding the room are all his comfort items from home like his fuzzy blanket, his favourite teddy bear that Eddie won for him at a Fair, pictures of him and his friends, and huge card signed from everyone at the 118 firehouse.
The fact that everything looked so thought out brought tears to Bucks eyes. He was also confused if he was being honest. Everyone that signed the card he was reading was giving him the silent treatment a week ago. He's learning to move on but it still causes a quick stab to his heart. His eyes are scanning over everyone's messages and they were short but sweet. Until his eyes stumbled upon a certain message, which was kind of sloppy writing and he knew immediately who it was from.
"I miss u so much Buckey. Pwease come home to me soon, I luv u." - Christopher.
The tears that have building up in Bucks eyes have now fallen upon his cheeks. His heart ached. He missed Christopher with every fiber of his being. Even before his accident, he hadn't seen Chris in months because of that stupid lawsuit. He longed for the day where he and Christopher would reunite. He's never letting that boy go again.
Before Buck could put the card away, his eyes scanned one last message.
" Te amaré hasta mi último aliento moribundo."(I will love you till my last dying breath) - Eddie.
Bucks eyes froze on the words. He knew a little bit of Spanish from his past years of travelling and he knew exactly what the words meant. Buck has been in love with Eddie from the moment his eyes set upon him on Eddie's first day at the 118 firehouse. He wasn't exactly friendly towards Eddie at first because he didn't want anyone to know of his crush, especially Eddie. Buck is bi-sexual and has known it his entire life. He just never said anything because everyone here assumed he was straight.
Buck was definitely attracted to women, there was no denying that. However romantically, Buck leaned towards men more. With Eddie, he felt whole. Eddie was everything Buck wanted in a person. Eddie and Bucks friendship has always been more than close, anyone at the 118 firehouse could tell you that. Buck had always assumed that Eddie's feelings weren't mutual though, especially after the lawsuit.
Buck keeps rereading the words the Eddie had written. He probably meant he loved Buck as a friend. That must be it. If Eddie had felt the same way that Buck had, then he wouldn't have treated Buck the way he did, right? Buck laid down, back on the bed and facing up towards the ceiling.
He was beyond confused. He thinks back to the day the team had visited him at the hospital and he remembers looking at Eddie through the window, and Eddie looked like he was gunna run away, like he didn't want to see Buck. Some stranger talked him out of it though and when he walked into the room and made eye contact with him, he looked as if he saw a ghost. He didn't get to say much to Eddie as he also remembers the outburst he had towards his team and then kicking them out.
"Shit" Buck whispers out.
Buck allows the fatigue he had been feeling since the car ride take over him. Blinking his eyes closed, he finally falls asleep.
.
.
.
He's back in the alleyway, this time it's different. This time it's worse.
Buck was now pinned under a firetruck again. He can feel the weight of the truck crushing him.
He cries out for help with so much pain in his voice.
"Well, well , well, if it isn't Evan Buckley."
"HELP ME, PLEASE!"
"And why would we do that?"
"IT HURTS, PLEASE"
"Aww poor little Buckley, helpless and defenseless. What shall we do about that?" One of the man says with an evil grin , causing Buck to scream even more.
He feels the men rip his clothing off, exposing and violating every part of his body.
"Why are you doing this?!" Buck cries out.
"Maybe next time, don't waste your lawyers time." The man responds.
Buck feels one of the men unzip their pants, and bending down to a naked Buck.
'NOOOOO"
.
.
.
Buck wakes up in a panic, he can feel himself drenched in sweat. Athena and Bobby rush in as if the house was on fire.
"Baby are you okay?! Is something wrong?!" Athena asks in a panic.
"Son, what's wrong? Are you in any pain" Bobby asks with a worried look.
"I-I'm okay guys, just a really bad nightmare." Buck reassures.
"Buck, those must be some pretty bad nightmares. You were screaming at the top of your lungs." Bobby says.
Buck just keeps his head lowered down. He didn't want to think about it anymore. He was tired of all the pain. He wasn't even safe inside his own mind.
"I have them bad too, you know." Bobby starts.
"Would you like to talk about it?"
"No, I'm sorry. I just can't keep reliving it." Buck says with a single tear falling down his cheek.
"That's okay. We'll be here whenever you're ready, okay? Just take things at your own pace." Bobby reassures.
Bucks nods.
"Are you hungry? I think you'll feel better with some meatloaf in your tummy." Athena pops in.
Buck immediately looks up. "I would absolutely LOVE some meatloaf. That hospital food was nasty." Buck responds as his stomach starts to growl.
"That's because they don't know what flavour is" Athena says in a sassy tone.
"Let's go eat baby."
Buck gets up and follows Bobby and Athena to the kitchen, his nose taking in the delicious aroma that surrounds the home.
"BUCK!" Buck hears two familiar voice say in unison.
May and Harry get up from their seats to pull Buck into a tight hug.
Buck winches at the pain at first but immediately wraps his arms around them and embraces them tightly.
"Oh have I missed you guys" Buck says, tears building up again.
May and Harry were just like younger siblings to Buck. Him and Mary always used to gossip about all things boys, she's actually the only one to know about Bucks bi-sexuality. Harry and Buck always used to spend hours gaming out on Harry's PS4. He hadn't seen them in awhile also because of that god awful lawsuit.
"We've missed you so much Buckey, welcome home." May cries into his chest.
Athena and Bobby watch in awe. All their babies are together again. Athena can't help but feel quilt as she never noticed how long they've been apart. She made a mental note to apologize for that.
"Alrighty kiddos! Let's eat!" Athena exclaims as she sets all the plates out.
Buck sits down right in-between May and Harry, they're going off about everything that had happened the past few months. Buck takes all of it in. He feels right at home. He's missed this feeling. A feeling he hasn't felt most of his life. The feeling of home and family.
After everyone ate, Buck was the first to grab everyone's plates and bring them to the sink so he could wash them. He felt like he needed to show courtesy as they allowed him inside their home and cared for him.
"What do you think you're doing?" Athena asks, walking behind him.
"I'm doing the dishes?" Buck responds with a confused tone.
"You don't got to do that baby, just go rest up." Athena says with a smile.
"I need to do this, it's the least I can do to make up for my stay." Buck responds.
"You don't need to make up for anything Buck. You are not a burden on us. I'm so sorry that we've made you feel that way the past few months. When I saw how May and Harry reacted, it broke my heart that I didn't notice your missing presence around here." Athena says with a single tear falling down her face.
Buck without hesitation wraps his around around her.
"I'm sorry I put us all in that situation. If I would've known what that lawyer would do to everyone, I never would have considered it." Buck says with a shaken voice.
"You did what you thought was the only way to get back to your family Buck, we should've been more considerate. Maybe then....this wouldn't have happened." Athena says, now in a full breakdown.
Bobby, May and Harry who have all been listening in at the table now pop up and join the two in one big hug.
"We're so sorry buck." Bobby says, his voice on the verge of a breakdown as well.
Buck also breaks down with the rest of the family. It was more happy tears though. He was right where he belonged. In the arms of people who loved him.
"Don't ever think what happened to me was any of your fault. This happened because of a very bad man. I'm at least still here with you guys to share this moment. That's all I could ask for." Buck says reassuringly.
They spend the next 5 minutes wrapped in each others arms. It was wholesome and it warmed Bucks heart. A heart Buck thought would never be warmed again. He had prepared himself for a long lonely battle but these people surrounding him assured him that he would not be going through it alone.
"So Harry, got any new games?" Buck says as they break their hug.
"SO MANY! LET ME SHOW YOU!" Harry says in excitement.
"20 minutes and that's it! Buck still has a concussion and screen time needs to be limited!" Athena yells out to the two boys already running over to the living room.
"Okay mom!" Both boys say in unison.