I've known them both for a long time.
We started out as colleagues under the same political party then became good friends along the way. So kung may isa mang tao na napanood kung paano sila umabot sa kung nasaan sila ngayon, love-wise not career-wise, ako 'yun.
Leni and Risa had a lot of things in common. Naturally, they would bond over those things. Lalo na't bago si Leni sa amin, sa mundong ginagalawan namin.
We witnessed how Leni struggled yet remain to stand her ground in spite of everything else. Everyone from the party admired her — especially Risa. During the nights we spent drinking San Mig Light to unwind after a long day of campaigning, Risa looked at Leni from afar and she'd tell me, "I admire her. She's a strong person."
"She is." I reply.
In whispers during her drunken moments, you'd hear a mix of singing, stories about her children, and the rest would be about Leni.
"Leni's beautiful 'no?"
"She's good with my kids. Sinta loves her."
"She deserves all the good things in this world."
And she does this so often that it makes you start to wonder, could there be something else? Perhaps, something more?
But she never told me if my suspicions were correct. I don't think she realized that just yet. The other woman, on the other hand, she fell. And she fell hard.
Leni's eyes are more expressive than she thinks. She looks at Risa like she's a masterpiece — something so beautiful, but also something she's afraid to move closer to in fear that she might ruin it.
Nakikita ko kung pa'no niya tignan si Risa. Her eyes would suddenly be filled with silent gratitude, affection, and yearning.
In the middle of backstage commotions, Leni would approach me and she'd ask, "Nakita mo si Risa?"
"Kanina mo pa siya hinahanap." I'd point out.
"Palagi ko naman siyang hinahanap."
Often before and after rallies, I'd see them nestled in a corner talking to each other like there's no one else around. Sometimes I'd ask Risa what they talk about and she'd reply, "Kinakabahan daw siya eh."
But there were also times na ang sagot niya ay, "Kahit ano. Talking to Leni makes me feel better. Like I'm ready to conquer the world again."
I've seen Risa squeeze Leni's hand and put her hand on the other's back as a way to reassure and comfort her. Likewise, I see Leni caress Risa's hair and hug her from the side whenever she had bad days.
"Sen. Risa, kanino galing 'yang pink leatherband mo? It looks nice."
"I know, right? Leni gave it to me!"
She hasn't taken it off since.
Surrounded by a sea of people, both allies and enemies alike, Leni and Risa became each other's solace. Like Meredith Grey and Christina Yang, they were each other's person.
But the difference was as clear as day. Meredith Grey and Christina Yang may have been each other's persons but they weren't lovers. Leni and Risa could be. Keyword: could.
I saw them sneak out during the dinner on the last day of campaign. Tatawagan ko na sana si Leni para tanungin kung anong kalokohan binabalak nila pero I decided not to bother them. Nakita ko sila sa 7/11 and it was like seeing something straight out of a movie.
Risa was moving animatedly as she was telling a story and Leni sat across her looking like she was having the time of her life listening to the other woman rant like that. And then Risa brought out a packet of Chocnut from the bag and the realization was so obvious in Leni's face I could see it kahit pa ang layo ko sa kanila.
She was in love.
"Hindi ka subtle, Leni. Alam mo ba 'yun?"
"What do you mean?"
"You look at Risa like she puts the stars in the sky. Be honest with me, do you have feelings for her?"
"Yes."
The next thing I knew, they were spending a lot more time together both because of work and Leni's secret doing. This girl could really make the impossible, possible.
"Susugal ba ako?" Leni asked.
"Ikaw lang makapagsasabi nyan. Pipiliin mo bang tignan siya mula sa malayo kung pwede mo namang lapitan?"
"Natatakot ako."
"Leni, ikaw na rin mismo ang nagsabi. Hindi ka natatakot."
"Eh paano kung..."
"Take the risk. You know Jesse would want you to take the risk."
I watched Risa's body language that time nearing her birthday. She smiled more and she glowed differently. Mas madalas siyang tumingin sa phone niya then she'd look up and try to conceal the smile forming on her face. Ayun, kinikilig.
"Are you dating someone?" I asked her.
"No..."
"Do you like someone then?"
She didn't answer but I knew that's a yes.
"Is it someone I know?"
Her reply came a few beats after my question.
"I'm in love."
A few days later, on Risa's birthday, I woke up to a text from Leni. A smile spread on my face and warmth enveloped my heart as I read it.
"Sumugal ako...I won."
Life became a little brighter after that. They were happy, everyone was happy. We found family within each other and fought for the advocacies we had, fulfilling our promises to the country one by one.
But of course, it wasn't bright entirely. We were all under severe pressure, cameras on us all the time, watching our every move. I'm not complaining since it's a part of the job but I couldn't help but fear for the both of them.
Then again, I reminded myself. It's Leni and Risa. They don't cower in front of threats bigger than them, they don't falter even in the face of the most serious situations. They hold each other's hands, stand their ground, and be each other's anchor as they conquer everything in their way.
Taking it from Leni, hindi na rin ako natatakot.
It's been years since I told Leni that she looked at her lover like she puts the stars in the sky. And even more years since I started suspecting Risa's feelings for the other woman. Still, not much has changed.
I'd still see them nestled somewhere in the room amid the crowd, whispering their stories, faces blooming with happiness and adoration. Risa squeezing Leni's hand a little longer than she used to, and Leni hugging Risa closer to her, murmuring words of affirmation and reassurance.
"Oh, where's your leatherband? Nawala mo sa Hong Kong 'no?"
"Nope. Look, Leni gave it to me!" She extended her arm, revealing the gift she got.
As soon as I saw the sunflower on the bracelet, I was taken back to the time Risa gave her one together with a keychain of Jesse's picture. The first time Leni ever kissed her cheek.
"I gave Leni a sunflower and a picture of Jesse in a keychain today."
"Souvenir niya?"
"Yep."
"Ang daming bulaklak kanina. Bakit sunflower binigay mo?"
"Sunflowers symbolize adoration and loyalty, you know. They signify unwavering faith and unconditional love."
That's how I see Leni and Risa now. Like sunflowers, you look at them and you see their adoration and loyalty to each other. In the little moments, the longing stares, and the hidden gestures, just stare a bit longer, dig a little deeper, and you'll see:
Risa's unwavering faith to Leni and Leni's unconditional love for Risa.
Watching them grow from being that to being where they are now is like, to quote Leni when asked about Risa, watching a flower bloom.
I witnessed them grow and spread their love for the world to see, and I can't help but feel so honored, so privileged, that they decided to do so in front of me.
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Words aren't enough to thank each and everyone of you so I decided to publish a special chapter instead.
Thank you for reading, voting, and showing undying support for this fic and for Yellow. Sobrang na-appreciate ko kayong lahat. You guys always tell me na you find comfort sa LS, little do you know LS found home in you.
Here's to more kilig fics. #LenRisaLayag 💗💜