• Mae •
Mae didn't show up on Friday, she took an earlier train to Boston. She felt guilty about it, but she needed some space. She truly liked Chris, and she was pretty sure that he liked her too, but everything was going too fast. Her head was spinning with everything that had happened lately.
They had kissed twice, both somewhat initiated by her. She didn't know where she had gotten the courage, but she was sure that she needed to take a step back.
When her phone lit up with a text from him, she turned it over and went back to the homework that she was doing. She felt bad, but putting her emotions into words was the only thing that rivaled the growing feeling in her chest in terms of fear.
Her parents hadn't worked out, and sure, her dad had found Amanda, and they seemed perfect for each other, but she never let herself grow too content.
Love is temporary, it has an expiration date.
She thought back to how heartbroken she was when her parents split up; She never wanted her children to feel that way. She knew that even if they tried hard enough, Chris and her just wouldn't work. They were too different, with different aspirations and lives in different towns.
Her phone buzzed again, twice this time. She willed herself not to look, not wanting to see if she had hurt the boy. He didn't deserve that, but this was the only way she could think of to slow down. She needed a break, and however long it took, she hoped that Chris would be there. She knew that he wouldn't be though.
Love has an expiration date.
She doesn't love him, but she could see herself loving him. The thought was scarier than currently loving him. Breaking it off early would hurt less in the end, but it didn't mean it hurt any less to do it.
Her homework wasn't even half done, her mind kept wandering. No matter where it started, it always led back to Chris. She couldn't let herself start rely on him and his stupid jokes, or his stupid hair, or his stupid eyes, or anything else about him that she could call stupid, even if none of it was.
Her phone rang, the ringtone for her father playing through the silence of the house. She collected herself before answering, not wanting her dad to catch onto anything.
The conversation was short, he was ordering dinner and wanted to know what she wanted. She was grateful for the distraction, but it was quickly over and her mind went back to Chris.
She thought of her first boyfriend, Thomas. They had loved each other, said it so many times. It wasn't enough. They couldn't magically fix their different paths or make themselves more compatible. They dated for a year and a half, so the breakup was hard on both of them.
Thomas had promised her that they would be together forever, and at the time she had believed him. Looking back now, she realized she was a naive teenage girl in her first relationship, who wanted to feel loved. When Tom had broken up with her, he had apologized and said those words that have haunted her ever since.
Love has an expiration date.
Even now, she thought back to those words and how each one has broken her heart more and more. She hasn't seen him in months, unsure of where he went of what he was doing now, but she knew that looking into it would only make the ache worse.
She no longer had feelings for him, she had let go of those a long time ago, but the ghost of that relationship always comes back to bite her in the ass. It was her first heartbreak that she could blame herself for, and she hated that she was putting herself in a position to go through that again.
Her phone buzzed again. She ignored it again.
He'll catch on. Hopefully. She didn't want to ghost him, but what other way could she do this? She'd never had a guy fall as quickly as her, let alone introduce her to his family so soon. It was all too much.
The secret hand holding and stolen kisses, while thrilling, were terrifying in all the ways that she didn't want love to be. She didn't want to feel guilty about kissing him or self conscious about holding his hand, but she did.
She'd work on it, and come back when she was ready. She wanted this to last, but if they kept doing things the way that they were, she would be the one to leave. She would decide when their love finally expired. She didn't want to be tasked with that.
She made her way upstairs, not looking at her phone in fear of seeing a sad text from Chris. His jacket was sitting on her bed, she had worn it on her way into Boston, silently hoping that he would take the early train too and they could laugh about it.
He didn't.
She felt a tear drip down her cheek. She wiped it away, trying to make herself think of anything other than Chris. It was hard when the entire house held something that reminded her now.
He was the first boy she'd had over to her dads house, the first boy to meet Amanda, the first boy she'd had upstairs, even if he did just stand in the hallway. It was monumental honestly, how quickly she had begun to associate things with him.
Her phone rang again, this time Cass' ringtone. She answered, voice quiet. "Hello?"
"Mae? Are you crying?" Her friends voice was laced with concern, and she could hear faint voices in the background.
"Who me? Nooo, Maisie Evans doesn't cry." Her words got stuck in her throat as she held back from crying to her friend.
Cass hummed, not convinced, but she knew her friend would tell her eventually. "What happened with Chris?"
"Nothing, like actually nothing happened." Mae couldn't even convince herself with her words.
"Are you sure?" Mae hummed.
"Yeah, literally nothing happened."
"He just called me crying, asking if you'd said anything to me about what he did." Mae coughed a bit, trying to clear her throat. "So again, Mae, what happened?"
Mae broke down, not being able to answer the question.