May 14th, 1997,
Dear Diary, I have been consoling Theo for the last three days but he's a mess. I haven't even had time to process what happened myself, I mean he was my best friend and he left me. I sent a few of the Hogwarts owls out with letters to try and find him and they have all come back empty-handed.
Max, it can't be true, come back to Hogwarts and we can help with whatever you are doing. Theo needs you, I need you.
Y/N
Max, I see that you are getting my letters. I just want to know if you are safe. Ps... I met your dad, he didn't look dead to me...
Y/N
Max, where the hell have you gone?.
Y/N
And I finally got a reply today.
Stop sending owls. Don't try to find me, either of you. I'm sorry I lied but he is dead to me. Do not owl me again unless it is important.
X
I mean he didn't even sign his name, what the hell has he gotten himself into?
I also went through the box of things that he gave to McGonagall. It was half-filled with his notebooks (Which consisted mostly of our written private conversations in lessons) and the wrest was just random things. A ring with his family's coat of arms engraved (I'm contemplating giving this to Theo), a butterbeer mug, his polaroid camera and a few pictures that id never seen before.
That last picture is dated the day he left. If this is his "Home" why did he leave?
June 3d, 1997,
Dear Diary, I've lost the motivation to do anything. I've not been to a lesson in the last two weeks. I do go and check on Theo once in a while and secretly hope I see Malfoy sitting in the common room, but he's never there. Theo is a wreck and I think I'm all that is holding him together, I'm so worried for him, he doesn't have anyone else.
June 15th, 1997,
Dear Diary, I got a howler from mum yesterday. She got a letter telling her I was refusing to leave my dorm and she said I would be facing "serious consequences" when I returned home for the summer and explicitly said no Theo... I don't care, I will never leave him behind. He's not going home ever again if I can help it.
So I've been to class yesterday and today and it was very uneventful. I couldn't tell you a single thing I've done, my brain is too occupied.
Why did Max leave?,
Where did he go?,
Why did he lie about his age?,
Why did he stay back a year?,
And don't even get me started on Malfoy...
I can't think about him, it makes me feel sick, it hurts so much.
June 19th, 1997,
Dear Diary, today was just blessed. Not only have I been kicked off the quidditch team for not attending practice but I was called to McGonagall's office, and not for one of our "chats". My mum was there. She had a massive go at me saying that I need to work harder and she is disappointed in me but honestly I don't care, I don't even want to go home this summer. Could this conversation have waited another two weeks?, then the year would be over and I can just hide in my room away from her. At least ill have Theo. Nothing can keep me away from him.
June 21st, 1997,
Dear Diary, when I'm not in Theo's dorm I am in my own with Luna, she absolutely loves! Firecracker and she has even taken to falling asleep with her in her bed and when she goes out Firecracker is perched on her shoulder. Luna has been such a blessing this last month. I spend all my time making sure Theo doesn't break, I forget about myself. She was the first person I told the story of Charles to and even though she wasn't supportive after Cedric I didn't consider that she was grieving too.
Luna suspected that Blaise is trying to convince her he cheated on her with Pansy because she heard him and Luca talking about how "The four of them" spent the whole summer together. All four of them?... Luca, Blaise, Pansy and ... Malfoy. That's why they have all been acting so strange, so secretive.
"Luna, you are just being paranoid, are you sure he didn't cheat on you with Pansy?" I asked
"No that's the thing, I'm not. I wish I was lying Y/N but when I tell you this you need to try and see it from my point of view. Blaise and I were together for three years!, I know everything about him. I know his every tell, I know when he's lying. He didn't break up with me because he didn't love me. I just feel it. I feel it in my bones. "
"And your sure he didn't just fall out of love with you?" I asked cautiously
"Y/N... He is the man I am going to marry, and I'm not even upset that he broke up with me... there is something I am missing..."
"Besides my name is literally lovegood. I know how to keep him on his toes". She might be right maybe he's staying away from her like Malfoy is staying away from me. They are in the same crowd. Maybe Blaise is just trying to "Protect" her?.
I've been spending my nights in the Tustronamy Tower.
Staring at constellations in the sky and hoping that wherever they are, Max and Malfoy are alright. I've begun going there most nights instead of dinner.
June 28th, 1997,
Dear Diary, things are looking up. We have three days left and then we are free!. I'm so excited to see Milo again. Mum not so much, she's become less like herself since my dad died, she's very cold. There's not gonna be any day trips with her to the museum or strawberry french toast in the morning, I didn't even recognise her, the only thing that remained was were wedding ring... she's still wearing it.
September 1st, 1997
Dear, Diary, I'm getting Deja Vue sitting writing to you in my dorm on the first day of school but that is the only thing that remains the same... I have been away for 2 months. I need to start from the beginning but I need to hurry, I'm supposed to be packing.
On June 30th after dinner, I was walking up the spiral staircase to the astronomy tower when my arm was yanked harshly and I was pulled into a room one floor below.
"Potter?!" I was about to shout when he clamped my hand over my mouth and spun me so my back was flush to his front, keeping me completely restrained. He whispered so quietly in my ear
"Look up" And I did and what I saw horrified me.
Malfoy was standing with his wand pointed square at Professor Dumbledore. Malfoy looked so scared. I was shanking and harry let me go but put his finger to his lips silently telling me to be quiet.
"There are others, How?" Were the first words I heard of the conversation spoken by a very composed-looking Dumbledore.
"The vanishing cabinet in the room of requirement, I've been fixing it," Malfoy explained sounding so cruel.
I was in shock and I was looking between Harry with his wand raised and Malfoy with his. I reached for mine and I was snapped back into reality by Malfoys shaking voice
"I don't want your help!, I have to do this, I have to kill you, or he's gonna kill-" I missed the end of his sentence when another much larger hand clamped over my mouth and the person snatched my wand and dragged me to the corner of the room.
Where not even ten seconds later four people came bustling up the spiral staircase
"Look what we have here" A woman's voice spoke. I could see a black tattoo on her wrist shining in the moonlight. I've seen it before in the daily prophet. It is called the dark mark and it is a form of branding on people who are in support of Voldemort. I looked around and the other three people had them too.
"Goodevening Bellatrix, I think introductions are In order don't you?" Dumbledore said calmly
"Id love to Albus but I'm afraid we are on a bit of a tight schedule," She said nonchalantly
Then she started shouting
"Do it!, do it now!" She was coaxing at a trembling Malfoy and whoever was restraining me let me go and slunk up the stairs.
It was Snape!
He strode calmly onto the tower and spoke in his usual drone.
"No"
"Severus, please," Dumbledore said and seconds later Snape drew his wand
"Avadakadavra" He said and a bolt of green light shot from his wand hitting Dumbledore square in the chest and he began falling off of the tower. I was in shock... Harry just kept staring blankly at the place Dumbledore once stood. I tugged his arm. Whoever those people were, the only way down is the stairs and I don't like the odds of them missing us twice.
He wasn't moving so I pulled Harry down the stairs with me and we had just made it around the corner when I heard boots echoing off the steel stairs we had just descended. Thankfully In the corridor I guided us left because everyone who had just come from the tower turned right.
"He's dead," Harry said looking at the floor not blinking.
"He's dead," He said again. And I don't know if it was adrenalin but I picked his head up with his chin and slapped him.
"Harry you need to go..." I said grabbing both of his shoulders and looking at him in the eyes.
He blinked a few times and nodded his head then set off down our corridor. I heard footsteps coming towards me from the right hallways and I pressed myself as close to the wall as I could and I peeked to see who it was.
"Bella I just need to get something" I heard Malfoy say and then strut past me and away from the curly-haired woman.
"Fine but make it quick" She cackled back.
He strutted straight past me and was in the midst of loosening his tie
"Malfoy," I said gaining a bold of courage
His head snapped to me and he looked as if he had seen a ghost.
He went to speak but my fast actions cut him off. I came out from my hiding spot and reached for the cuff of his shirt. I grabbed his hand and yanked up his sleeve.
And there it was. Like a black plague infecting his beautiful porcelain skin.
I dropped his hand and held in all of my emotions.
"How long?" I asked not taking my eyes off of his reconciled arm.
"How long damn it??" I shouted at him snapping my eyes to his but he didn't dare look at me.
"Since the summer," He said sheepishly staring at his shoes
I swallowed, I felt like my world was crashing down.
"Why Malfoy why!" I finally lost all of my composure
"He has done so many horrible things, he has killed so many people, he killed Cedric!" I shouted feeling like I was going out of my mind. I was about to continue scolding him when he shouted at me
"He was going to kill you!" He shouted finally snapping his eyes to mine. I was taken aback... What?
"If I didn't join him he was going to kill you," He said softening his voice.
Theos voice spoke in my head "His summer was a hell of a lot harder than mine"
"Kill the thing I care most about in the world," He said now staring into my soul. He looked around and then began to walk away.
"How does he know about me?" I asked knowing this is not the time but I didn't care
"He used Legilimency on me. He saw us, he said you were my weakness. He was why I had to stay away from you.
He was in this mess because of me... and I've just made it worse.
"I need to say away from you," He said taking a step back and then began walking away.
"Malfoy stop!" I shouted through a broken sob but he just kept walking.
"Malfoy!" He just kept walking. It's now or never.
"Draco, please... I love you " I shouted to him in the empty corridor and it echoed off of all four walls.
He stopped, he turned his head over his shoulder but I knew he couldn't see me. And he said four words that completely broke my heart.
"You'll get over it"
And he continued walking away
I stepped out into the middle of the hallway just staring at his silhouette get smaller and smaller before I heard a cackle from behind me and a single word uttered before everything went black.
"Stupefy"
I woke up days later in a cell.
I couldn't use my magic at all and I didn't have my wand. I was in complete darkness for days and I was too scared to look around my cage because I wasn't sure if I was alone. But on what I now know was the fifth day a door at the top of the stairs opened and it lit up the room. It burned my eyes but it was nothing compared to what was to come.
A black shadow descended the stairs and made its way into the dungeon. I took in a breath and as I was about to scream for help he shouted.
"Stupefy"
And I was out like a light again.
I don't know how long it was before I woke up this time but when I did I was greeted with a familiar room. I was in the drawing-room of Malfoy Manor. I stood up and attempted to run but I couldn't. My ankle was chained to the floor. I remember trying to pull it off when I heard healed shoes entering the room I stopped.
"Finally, she's awake!" The mad-haired woman from the Astronomy Tower shouted out the doorway and into a hall.
She strutted over to me painfully slowly, feeling like I was breaking with every crash of her heal.
She crouched down to my level and grabbed my face with one of her hands.
"We've got a surprise for you sleeping beauty," She said and then flashed a wicked sadistic grin. She shouted in some men in black cloaks and they manhandled into the dining hall that I thought was bear. No table, no chairs, just a white and red mess on the floor at the far end of the room and a single figure standing with a hood covering their face. As I was dragged closer I was slowly beginning to notice aspects of the thing on the floor. The red was oozing, it wasn't white but more like grey, it wasn't moving but it almost looked like it was breathing?... I was only a few meters away when the picture became crystal clear. It was a shivering beaten body with platinum wet hair.
"Draco!" I cried and flung myself over to him, but I was dragged back by the chain on my leg and the first in my hair.
He didn't move, he just lay there motionless.
I was shouting a mixture of "Get off me and let go" one after the other before the witch stepped in front of me and slapped me across the face.
"How dare you at like this before the dark lord. No better than a Mudblood" She spat and then returned to her place in front of me.
The who!. I was thinking to myself then I looked at the hooded figure standing over Draco and I froze.
The figure whose face was unknown in my nightmares was now crystal clear and standing right in front of me. My stomach dropped to the floor and so did I as his Yellow eyes met mine and smashed into my mind and began ripping my brain apart. With every agonising slash a new vision showed in my mind.
Me telling Draco I Love him,
Him telling me he was leaving,
Seeing his face light up by the moon in the forbidden forest,
Seeing him for the first time after the summer,
Him apparating me away from the fireworks,
Him crying in my arms,
Me crying into his,
Us on new years,
Him drying me off after the tri wizard tournament,
Watching the Quidditch cup finals,
Him asking me to be his girlfriend,
The first time I kissed him,
Slow dancing in the hallway,
"I'm not too interested in your eyes sweetheart ",
The first time I ever saw him,
And Voldemort could see that I had loved him throughout, even if I didn't know it yet.
The torture stopped and I could feel my throat on fire from my screams.
Voldemort moved his vision from me to Draco.
"What was that Draco?" He asked in a sadistic voice
Draco managed to choke out three words"
"Don't hurt her" He didn't sound at all like himself
"Why not?" Voldemort asked sounding amused
"You knew this would happen," He said stepping closer to him
"I told you to stay away from her," He said stepping closer sounding cruelly calm
"I gave you an order and you disobeyed me!" He aimed his wand at Draco and his limp shirtless body and it landed flat on its back.
"There is only one thing to do," He said looking me dead in the eyes.
"We kill them both," Bellatrix said cackling and Voldemort joined in still not taking his eyes off me and pointing his wand to Draco again.
"Crusio"
I screamed and tried to get to him again but the men behind me had a firm grip.
I was kicking and screaming and I could see Draco convulsing in agony on the floor but after a few seconds he looked like he was fighting less and less, he was giving up. He was dying. So I shouted over his grunts of pain.
"What if I join you!" I screamed and finally, I heard the spell stop.
"You think we would want you?!, bless you with this gift!" Bellatrix shrieked from behind me but all I cared about was Draco, he wasn't breathing.
"I am smart" I choked out
"I'm really smart, I'm a Ravenclaw. I would be an asset, a loyal asset!. Please just stop hurting him" I begged
"What could you do for us then?" Voldemort asked as if I had piqued his interest.
I was sobbing but I was swallowing all of my fear. I would do anything to keep Draco alive, id sell my soul to the devil.
"I'm close with harry potter. He was my date to the Yule ball, I could get information, I will do anything. Anything for you my lord" I said lying through my teeth hoping he would buy it.
"Would you make an unbreakable vow?" He asked like he was actually contemplating the idea
I looked at Draco whose face was scrunched up in agony and drenched with tears.
"An unbreakable vow to be a spy and nothing less off, vow to obey my commands, vow your life to me"
"To spare Draco's life?" I pleaded
"For now," He said sounding pleased. His horrible face quirked up into a smile.
"Come Bellatrix!" He shouted and the witch spun on her heels
"Leave the lovebirds here, get your sister to organise a feast to welcome our newest member," He said as he strode out of the room followed by his henchmen.
The second the doors shut I gathered what remained of my strength and flung myself at Draco.
I was getting Deja Vue seeing him like this, his proline skin drenched in blood, but this time it was worse. He was so cold, his lips were blue and Snape or Poppy were going to be no help here. I literally couldn't do anything to help him and I felt so useless. That was until the door creaked open and seconds later Narcissa sheepishly walked into the room.
She tiptoes across the walnut floorboards and took out her wand.
She used a very complicated diagnostic charm and showed his vitals like a floating chart in the air. I know nothing about anatomy but the fact that his brain shone red on the paper definitely wasn't good.
She didn't even look at me. She cast a wordless Leviosa and hovered Draco through the room and up the stairs to his bedroom being very cautious and looking around every corner before turning. She laid him down on his bed and just looked at him for a second before swallowing and walking back to the door.
"I'm sorry" was all she said before quietly shutting the door behind her.
She looked so much older, not at all as groomed as she usually was.
I was just staring at him and I jumped out of my skin when I heard a "POP" and a very grumpy elf appeared in the room.
"Masters Malfoys never follows instructions," The moody thing said just before he jumped into the bed and reached into his little bag. He pulled out medical equipment and then a sleek black wand with a detailed handle.
"Thank you," I said when I saw the wounds sowing together and his colour beginning to come back.
"Do not thank me, I serve the house of black... not Fawley" and he shook his head and tutted before popping away.
I just sat there in his armchair and waited for him to wake up. His room was still exactly the same but the manor was completely different. As I walked through the home with Narcissa I could see how run down it really was. The paintings were restless, furniture was broken, wallpaper was scorched and there was an awful stench of dirt and rot. But Draco's room was the same, untouched. the same satin sheets, same four-poster bed
In a flash Draco shot up and looked horrified.
"Y/N no!" He jumped out of bed and sprinted over to me.
"Y/N, no you can't have!" He said as he grabbed my arm and yanked up my sleeve
"Thank Merlin," He said to himself relieved.
"Not yet," I said and he looked at me gravely then his whole mannerism changed
"What the hell were you thinking!" He shouted stepping back.
"You can't get the mark Y/N! you cant!" He said turning his back to me and putting his hands on his hips.
"I would do anything for you! how do you not know that by now?" I shouted back at him. I moved around him so I was facing him and grabbed both of his wrists to gain his attention
"You were dying!" He pulled his hands away from mine and strutted over to his wardrobe and pulled out a white button-up shirt.
"I can't let you get the mark to save me, " He said putting his arms through
"You got it to save me," I said and he looked over at me and went soft for a second and just stared at me.
"I don't regret it, I'm getting the mark and there's nothing you can do to stop me from saving your life," I said walking closer to him. I almost wanted to button the shirt for him but I knew better.
And then it was like something clicked in his mind and he went hostile and angry again.
"And the unbreakable vow?!" He shouted
"You know if you break it you die!, like you actually die Y/N!" He shouted at me with both of his hands on my shoulders trying to shake some sense into me.
I looked up at him with glossy eyes
"I know".
He took a deep breath and accepted my fate, this is happening whether he allows it or not.
He walked over to the edge of his bed and sat down, he patted the seat next to him and I took it.
"Are you scared?" He asked me sounding defeated
"A little bit. You?"
"Bloody terrified," He said looking away.
"You don't know what it has been like. If I said I wanted to tell you id be lying, I've tried to keep you away from this for so long".
"This was my choice," I told him straight but he ignored me.
"I was so close," He said finishing buttoning the top buttons on his shirt.
"Close but no fucking cigar," He said to himself and shook his head.
"If I would have killed dumbledore and just ignored you this would have all been avoided. Just like my father, I haven't got the stomach," He said sounding disgusted and he sat there staring off into space.
"What has this got to do with him?" I asked
"All children are punished for the sins of their parents. He is the only reason we are in this mess. He joined Voldemort and lead our family straight into his grasp"
"But now that he isn't Voldemort's right-hand man that job has been passed down to me. And I just like him have failed".
He sounded so cold and angry, I thought it would be best if I just said nothing.
"It's not only the dark lord that is taking it out on me, my father has always been cruel, but now he's deranged. He saw inside of my head and-" He swallowed and shook his head
"And he's the one who left me cut open on the floor. It was "my punishment"" I went to hold him but he stood up from the bed and moved across the room, organising books and tweaking positions of decore.
"This has ruined everything and now they are in my house!. I promised you I was trying Y/N and I was. I was trying to keep you away from this and I failed, I am so sorry" I was just staring at him cleaning but when he said that he stopped and hung his head with his back to me.
"My dad has always taught me to fight for what I want but I don't want this... I want you" He still didn't move, he just stood there staring at his feet.
"But I have ruined your life. I was jealous, I was selfish, I was scared. I'm going to stop this. You are worth saving. You are good, I will do whatever it takes."
He said and strutted over to the door and slammed it behind him. I tried the handle but he had locked me inside. He's too weak to do anything, he's gonna get himself killed. I went to the balcony but there was a forcefield permitting me from passing the threshold. I was trapped.
The same grumpy elf popped into the room hours later
"Misses is requested for dinner".
He said as he handed me a set of black dress robes
"Put them on and come to the dining room. Our lord awaits".
And he was gone with a pop.
I was almost hoping Draco managed to find a way to get me out of doing this, but I've never been so lucky.
I got dressed and made my way to the dining room. I opened the door and there were over a hundred people all gathered around the table and there the dark lord was, standing on a stage at the very end of the room.
"Ahh young love, how stupid. Welcome Y/N, won't you join me" He said extending his arm to the left and guiding me to the stairs. I began to walk toward him and I scanned the large table and I don't know what broke my heart more. Seeing Draco at the end of the table with a fresh black eye and a slash to his cheekbone, or pansy Blaise and Luca sitting across from him all with their heads down.
I had never felt so sick in my life, I was completely powerless.
"Not everybody could make it this evening, some are out doing tasks but don't get jealous, I have a perfect task for you. But first. The vow"
I was staring at Draco and he was clenching his fists so tight his knuckles were white. None of the others dared to look at me either.
I stood on the stage with him and he called Bellatrix up. I had to hold her forearm and she held mine. A golden lace appeared like a strung solar system and compressed our hands together.
"Y/N Fawly do you vow to be a spy and a loyal asset," Voldemort asked
"I do"
"And will you complete the tasks I betroth to you"
"I Will"
"And if you do not, you understand that Draco will be the one to suffer"
I swallowed the feeling of my heart shattering inside of my chest.
"I do"
Then the golden thread disappeared and its vice gip released and I pulled my hand away from Bellatrix
"Now for the fun bit" Bellatrix squealed and ran back to her seat at the table.
He hissed like a snake and it felt like my whole arm was on fire. He was digging his wand tip into my flesh and the whole table of death eaters were banging and cheering but I was focusing on trying not to scream. I can't show weakness.
He was holding my arm so tight his pointy nails were digging into my upper arm and causing it to bleed. When he finally let go I dropped my arm and let the sleeve of the robe cover it. He nodded his head and I took the only remaining seat at the table...Next to Blaise and directly across from Draco.
"Your task, get closer to Harry Potter. You are all about love, so make him fall in love with you... and then break his heart. The only thing with more vulnerability than The Order itself is Harry Potters's little heart, I suspect he didn't get much motherly love, I wonder why?" He said and the table began cackling again.
"Do you accept this task?" He asked and everyone went silent
"I do my lord," I said not daring to look him in the eyes.
"Perfect, and I will be generous enough to allow you to play with little Draco's heart some more, the fact he will see you with potter is punishment enough"
"Anything for the cause" He shouted and the entire room filled with voices
"Anything for the cause!" And they began eating. I sat there for hours as the death eaters feated like animals, with no manners whatsoever then they left a few at a time to begin drinking in the parlour room. Pansy and Luca left with some other people and almost looked content and soon it was just me Draco and Blaise.
Blaise didn't touch his meal either and he stood up and placed a hand on my shoulder, I thought he was going to say something but he just patted it once and exited the room, closing the large double doors behind him.
We sat in silence, neither one of us brave enough to speak but after a few minutes, Draco caved.
"I'm sorry," He said still looking at his untouched plate.
I got up from my seat and walked around to his side of the long table and took the seat next to him. I placed my hand gently on his knee.
"I'm alright, we are going to be okay," I said trying to soothe him but it had the opposite effect and he snapped at me.
"Nothing about this is alright," He said banging his fists on the table and pushing his chair back. He began pacing behind me.
"There has to be a way to get it off of you, there has to be a potion or a spell I just have to find it," He said still pacing in the space behind me. I stood up from my seat.
"Draco please just calm down," I said hoping it wouldn't anger him more but he stopped in his tracks.
"What did you just say?" He asked me staring deeply into my eyes but saying frozen on the spot. I thought I angered him so I whispered it again
"Draco please just calm down"
"Say it again," He said taking a step forward
"My name, say my name again"
"Draco," I said confused
"Salazar forgive me," He said and he bolted to me and placed both of his hands on my cheeks cupping my face, and he kissed me. It was a hard kiss and neither of us wanted to move away, we had wanted it for so long and we could finally have this moment. He melted beneath me and I felt the tension in his back release. He stroked his thumbs on my cheeks and reluctantly pulled away from me and when I opened my eyes he looked a little bit more like my Draco.
"I'm so sorry," He said and he pulled me to his chest and hugged me tightly and just kept whispering
"I'm so sorry"
"I'm so sorry"
"I'm so sorry"
Over and over again kissing the top of my head until I let go of him and stepped back but I held his hand and rubbed my thumb over his knuckles
"I know Draco".
We didn't do any more talking and went up to his bedroom. Now before you think "OOOh it's about to get spicy!". No. No, it's not. He let me shower in his ensuite and he went to shower somewhere else. This was the first time I had a real look at my mark. I am branded, impure, ruined, whatever you want to call it. I never thought I could have a worse mark on my skin than the carving on my collarbone but I was wrong.
In the shower I scrubbed and scrubbed at the tattoo with a washcloth but it didn't fade. I walked out of the bathroom with my arm rubbed raw and Draco noticed instantly and came over to me and hugged me despite the fact that he was already dry. He held my wrist and grazed his thumb over the burning flesh.
"I used to do that too, it doesn't make it go away," He said sadly
He took a step back to cheekily and shamelessly look at me in my towel and then his eyes fixed on something and he walked back over to me and placed his hand on my shoulder, slowly moving his fingers to the scar on my collarbone.
"What happened here," He asked with a voice filled with sorrow
"Umbridge and a blood quill," I said not looking at him and I could feel my eyes stinging.
I was expecting him to just walk away but he leaned in closer and kissed at the nape of my neck and began kissing a trail to my scar. He kissed it thoughtfully once and pulled away but only to cup my cheeks with his hands demanding my attention.
"You didn't deserve that, you didn't deserve any of this," He said and he kissed me on the lips, this time with more movement and greed but this was not the time. I pulled away.
"I'll um... I'll go to my room," I said trying to stop us from going any further. I was about to turn around and when
"No Y/N please stay," He said going gently for my hand.
"I don't have any clothes to wear if I did," I said and I saw his trademark smirk appear for a split second, he was probably thinking something like "that's the point" but instead his smirk faded and he went over to his wardrobe.
"I have some old clothes you can wear," He said rummaging through the cupboard.
And this man knew exactly what he was doing. He fished out a shirt and a pair of boxers. But not just any boxers, the infamous banana boxers.
I let out a laugh and he smiled to himself and passed me the clothes.
"I've missed that laugh," He said and I walked into the bathroom and got changed. I think he intentionally gave me a long sleeve top to cover my arm, he knows better than anyone how hard this is. I walked out and he was already in bed and the lights were turned off but the lamp on my side of the bed was on. I could see he was facing the middle of the bed and wasn't wearing a shirt. I crawled in under the sheets and we just lay there for a bit.
"Who's the batshit crazy bitch with the big hair," I asked for no exact reason
"Ah Bellatrix Lestrange, she has always been that way," He said chuckling to himself.
"Always?, how long have you known her?" I asked shocked
"She's my aunt. She's one of m mother's sisters"
I mouthed a wordless "wow" and he laughed
"She actually named me you know?" He said smiling to himself
I looked at him and he explained
"Well in my family we have a pretty recessive twin gene, every few generations there's always a pair of identical twins and I guess I was quite large and at the beginning and it could have been mistaken that I was a twin. So she automatically assumed we were boys and thought of the two most fierce animals that were also constellations (Black family tradition) and from that me and my non-existent brother were the dragon and the lion. Baby Draco and baby Leo. Obviously, when it was found out I wasn't a twin my mother decided she liked Draco more than Leo and that's how I got my name."
"Bellatrix wanted me to be a twin more than anything, probably because she was a twin but merlin knew there wasn't enough room for one of her let alone too so he got rid of that really fast". He chuckled darkly and closed his eves
I went to turn over and turn off the light when I noticed a book on the nightstand
The Holy Bible
"I can't believe you actually read this," I said laughing and holding it up to show him
"Ah yes the muggle book," He said sounding disgusted
"How long did it take you to find the reference?" I asked
He crossed his arms and rolled into his opposite side
"A hell of a lot longer than I anticipated," He said pretending to sound grumpy.
I put the book down, turned off the light and shuffled over to his side of the bed and began tracing lines on his exposed back.
"It was enlightening when you called me Lucifer, but you didn't understand why I called you Eve..."
I blushed and kept drawing my lines on his back.
"Eve was Lucifer's first love but because of his father he was damned never to have her and lived a sorrowful life, all alone"
He stopped for a minute and contemplated.
"Lucifer hoped she would find better, frankly he never thought he deserved her in the first place. Eve was as good as they come and someone like that shouldn't have to settle. So he went freely hoping that one day she would find someone worthy, someone who wouldn't be damning her to a life of suffering"
... It is quite symbolic," He said and I could hear the pain in his voice. I couldn't believe he had these doubts.
My hand froze on his back and I turned to him
"Draco, I didn't settle for you," I reassured shakily.
I raised my hand and cupped his cheek.
"And I don't care how many times I've got to say it"
I moved back over to my side of the bed and began to fall asleep with my back to his.
"Goodnight" he whispered into the darkness
"Goodnight," I said back to him
We never went to bed without a goodnight, even if we were stressed, or bickering, we always said goodnight. It was our promise that we would see each other tomorrow.
And that's my favourite day of the summer. I never brought up the "I love you" but I didn't feel like I needed to. If he wasn't ready, he wasn't ready. But I am and I can't imagine a day where I'm not. I am unconditionally in love with Draco Malfoy and I wouldn't trade it for the world.
I witnessed executions and murders but Draco was there to hold my hand every time, and he was the shoulder I would cry on at night when I felt like I had all lost hope in the world. He was a rose amongst the thorns, the moon in the night sky.
According to Greek mythology, humans were originally created with four arms, four legs, and a head with two faces. Zuce feared their power so he split them into two separate beings and condemned them to spend their lives in search of their other half. I have found mine and now I am complete.
The rest of the summer was bad, Draco and I were never together outside of his room. He would go on missions every other day and come back every few nights cold and hurting again. We would never talk about what he had to do but not once did he forget to say goodnight. I didn't like talking about my missions either. My main being the one regarding Harry but I can't start that until we get back to Hogwarts so I was put on patrol duty for the most part. Watching when the other death eaters would capture innocent civilians, muggles, children, order members you name it, and then burn them at the stake in a far corner of the Malfoy estate. They do this because since the opposite side does not mind conversing with muggles they should be killed the way we were by them centuries ago.
Pansy and Luca clearly loved their position in Voldemort's ranks but I can tell Blaise is unhappy, this wasn't his choice, I just wish we would talk to me.
And that was my summer. I'm packing because since I dropped off the face of the earth for two months my mother thought I had run away and she was worried sick, so I've been told I need to go home for a bit. This will affect my task but I already have a plan for getting around that. I'll leave tomorrow and be back hopefully very soon.
I have configured you into a charm of a little brown book so you never leave my side again and I have attached you to a bracelet. I still don't know where my wand is and I've been using a stolen one donated to me by Draco.
DUN, DUN, DUUUUUUNNNN. What did you guys think?!
Will the dark side take over?
Will you and Draco ever be the same again?
Keep reading to find out
See you soon lovers