Only a Moment

There wasn't anything really unnerving about walking home from school. Unless you were a paranoid being, then it'd be on your list of the worst things to do. Especially if you had to walk alone. That would scare the life out of you. 

But Sunghoon didn't particularly feel this way at all. He liked being alone. Not that he was alone, he was being accompanied by his three friends who were seamlessly wandering around the dirt path.

Well, that was where he saw Sunoo and Jake. Jay was probably trailing behind the group. Probably half-asleep from his top half and his bottom half on the move. Stubbornly trying to get back to the dorms as soon as possible.

Sunghoon chuckled at the idea, turning his head to check the older boy behind him. He was a bit surprised to find Jay wide awake, a stoic expression on his face.

Sunghoon knew that face. Jay usually made the same exact face when he was focused. And right now he could tell the older was deep in thought. He wondered what exactly was preoccupying his heavy mind.

He let his feet slow down to match Jay's slow pace. Curiosity had simply gotten the best of him, and once something irked at his brain he had to satisfy it with an answer.

Jake's hand up in the sky as he waved at the two from afar, he shouted. "Can we go on ahead without you guys?!"

Sunghoon was tempted to throw something at Jake. He didn't know what it'd be, but maybe he'd find something useful in his own bag. Jake was really deciding to abandon them. Jay had awoken from his deep thoughts, answering before Sunghoon could dignify a response.

"Sunghoon, can I talk to you?" What sounded like a shaky tone to Sunghoon, came out of Jay's mouth.

He hadn't looked shaken at all, maybe it was something he should worry about.

"Y-yeah. Of course." Sunghoon said, hoping Jake and Sunoo would get his tiny message, he waved them off behind his back.

Luckily they did, as they left silently.

"Alright, you'll probably need to sit down for this one."

Jay hadn't made proper eye contact anymore. He seemed to be very interested in the dirt and pebbles under him.

"Is... is everything ok?" Sunghoon questioned.

"Yeah, no. Everything's fine, mostly." Jay's nervous response threw him off.

Scratching the back of his head, Jay redirected his eyes from the bench they were sitting on down to the floor again. Sunghoon bit his lip, he began to feel nervous. Jay wasn't usually the type of person to get nervous, as far as Sunghoon knew Jay didn't possess such a feeling. So saying Sunghoon was freaked out was an understatement.

Gripping the bench underneath him, Jay opened his mouth. "I-I don't really know how exactly to put it." Jay tried to gather his thoughts.

"Jay-ah, it's just me. Sunghoon. There's nothing to get all worked up over, just tell me. I promise I won't freak out." Sunghoon wanted to calm the older down.

'Oh, if only that was reassuring' Jay thought, in exasperation.

Jay sighed, as he lifted his gaze to meet Sunghoon's. "I..." Losing his nerve his eyes fall to the ground, a fearfully heavy heart bringing him down.

Though he gulped the prideful feeling down. And with a dry tightening throat he confessed, "Sunghoon, I like you."

His eyes darted back up to see Sunghoon's reaction. The younger then seemed to be in thoughts of his own.

His only thoughts now were, was that what Jay was going to tell him? He likes him? Who doesn't? Everyone likes him. That part was obvious, he had visuals for days, a great personality and sure he was no genius, but he sure was clever. He was perfect, that was why everyone liked him.

"-And I know your dumbass thinks I said it in a different way than what I actually mean." Jay pulled the younger out of his self-absorbed mind.

"Huh- how did you?-" Was he a mind-reader of some sort?

"C'mon, we've known each other for a couple years now. I oughta know the way you think by now." Jay side-eyed him, before reverting his attention up ahead.

Sunghoon didn't quite understand what Jay meant. Not even a twinge of a hint. He wasn't stupid, but he really hoped Jay would give him a better answer.

Jay could feel Sunghoon's gaze burning holes through him, looking over at him he decided to rearrange his seating.

He sat up facing Sunghoon better before clearing up the confusion. "When I say that, I mean I like you." He added emphasis on it, hoping the oblivious boy could understand him better.

Umber brown orbs clouded with further internal questioning. Yet a few seconds later his clouded judgment had now cleared up. His eyes widened as inner turmoil happened.

"You... you don't have to say it back y'know. Please don't pity me though." Jay breathed out, relieved to get that out of his system but also an oncoming flood of heartache on its way.

Sunghoon shook his head, hoping Jay would hear him out. "No, that's not it. I just... didn't expect that."

Jay rose an eyebrow at that statement. He knew hope wouldn't do his racing heart any good, but his heart couldn't help what it felt. Sunghoon bit his lip again, trying to recollect his thoughts.

"I like you, but I mean, I think it's different. But-bear with me- it's also a little more than- uh friendship admiration? Am I making sense?" Sunghoon could feel himself heat up out of flustered embarrassment.

He didn't want a misunderstanding to ensue over his own selfish pride. Jay stepped on his own pride and swallowed it down as he did with that thick honey he did that one time. The most Sunghoon could do was take his best friend into consideration.

And he also had a light layer of interest in what being with Jay would truly be like. He could easily say that about a few other people too, but at the same time being with Jay sounded so comfortable. Jay was definitely the safest option, and Sunghoon liked that.

Jay chuckled, startling Sunghoon into a less tense air.

"Yeah, I kinda get it."

Sunghoon smiled, not knowing what else to do or say. Luckily Jay did.

"So are we?-"

"Yes." Sunghoon replied quickly, it made Jay laugh again.

He stuck out a hand waiting for Sunghoon to take it. "Or is that too much?" He was bringing his hand back, but Sunghoon grabbed onto it.

"It's just fine." Sunghoon probably didn't know but his smile brought Jay a lot of comfort.

🖤🤍

Playing a board game Sunghoon feels it. The tension in the air along with the playfully soft eyes staring into his soul. His light smile becomes impossible to not mirror, and he can't tell if he was hallucinating or if some sort of force was dragging them closer together.

A sudden slam of the door and it was wide open, revealing Ni-Ki. "Are you guys seriously playing that? C'mon do something fun! Come play Fifa with me!"

Jay was the first to break eye contact. "Weren't you playing with Heeseung?"

"I was trying to, but Heeseung is playing with that new Nintendo switch he got! And he still won't let me borrow it!" Ni-Ki whined.

Everyone knew about Heeseung's brand new beloved Nintendo switch. He found out late that some engenes gathered money together to buy him the brand new mini console with a ton of games to use it as well. It was a birthday present and all the money was sent to a Netizen ace they all trusted, she delivered it at a fan sign and Heeseung was so touched by the present.

Jay chuckled as he began clearing the area. "Fine, we'll be right there." He assured the youngest.

Sunghoon wanted to argue but found it pointless knowing how annoying Ni-Ki would get if you didn't do what he wanted you to do. And just like that, it was over, but he'd have other times to worry about that.

Dragging them away, Ni-Ki and Sunghoon were able to cheer on their multiple victories.

"Oh my god- you are so bad at this." Sunghoon was genuinely shocked. He couldn't believe anyone could be that bad at games.

"I don't really play games." Jay defended himself, best he could.

"Yeah, it shows." Sunghoon's tone of voice still bemused. He still wasn't letting up on any teasing.

"This is why I love playing with Jay-hyung! He loses every time!" Ni-Ki cheered.

"You play like an old man, Jay-ah!" Sunghoon threw the comment in an annoyingly high-pitched voice.

Expecting a pillow to be flung at his head, he hid behind his arms, only to be greeted with a sarcastic comment.

"I don't hit kids, you don't have to worry." He could just feel Jay's smirk a mile away.

"Yah! I'm not a child!" Sunghoon's arms swung wildly.

"He's right, he never hits me- wait does that mean you think I'm a child?" Ni-Ki continued, rejoining the conversation.

"Yes, to what you both said."

Sunghoon and Ni-Ki chased him out of the room, trying to tickle the older.

🤍🖤

The entirety of the hyung line was present in their busy break room. A small room they used to store all their belongings they needed for work and school. They also kept it nice and tidy just in case they needed a break there.

Sunoo dashed into the break room hurriedly, talking about things they had to do for 'therapy'. That was what they called it for short. They were rather sessions with a professional to make sure they were doing alright, and that nothing was wrong with their mental status.

"And it can be anything you want! You can draw, or write it down! It can even be scribbles. But you have to do it, ok?" Sunoo informed the older boys promptly.

He held a large number of art materials. Blank papers, canvas' and about two boxes. One of the colored pencils and the other of multi-colored markers. The remaining maknae line members entered with more drawing and writing utensils.

And half an hour later the focused boys worked with a light buzz of chatter. Some with their ideas floating into the air amongst them all.

Sunoo skipped happily over to show Sunghoon his pretty creation. "Look, Sunghoon-hyung! Isn't it amazing!" Sunoo exclaimed, Sunghoon nodded as he stared in awe at the drawing.

It was a cute 3d square that contained a little chubby chibi figure.

'That must be him', was what Sunghoon thought.

"I love it, how'd you draw this though?" Sunghoon signaled toward the water block.

"Oh, Ni-Ki helped me out with that part, since he's so great with art." Sunoo beamed.

The said boy turned around from behind them, looking over Sunoo's shoulder to see what they were doing.

"Thanks, Ni-Ki-ah!" The youngest shrugged at Sunoo's enthusiasm.

Sunghoon was surprised that they were on speaking terms again since this morning Sunoo couldn't stand the younger.

"NISHIMURA RIKI!! DID YOU POUR SALT IN MY MILK AND CEREAL?!"

The culprit was on the run, out laughing loud enough to make the older boy more furious.

Sunghoon shivered at the memory. They were an interesting pair, those two. His eyes landed on the two who curiously ogled Heeseung's paper.

"What'd you draw?" Jake asked curiously.

Heeseung shows that he drew a ramyeon bowl while also saying, "I'm not very good at drawing."

Everyone in the group got a good laugh in, leaving Heeseung puzzled as he was the only one who didn't understand what was so funny.

"Heeseung-hyung you drew a bowl of ramyeon?"

"You're supposed to express how you feel, how is that showing how you feel?" Sunoo questioned.

"But I love ramyeon... and it does describe how I feel, it's... smoking hot!" He stammered, truly not knowing what else to come up with.

"Ooh- like you?" Sunoo teased, and Heeseung slapped him playfully.

"What'd you draw, Ni-Ki?" Sunghoon implored.

The quiet teen flipped his paper over to show a yellow duckling in the middle of a tame river, away from a flock of ducks standing by the riverbank. Sunghoon nodded, Sunoo had gotten the hint of the picture as the moment of silence lengthened.

"Well? Is it any good?" Riki searched for approval from them all and received much praise.

"Of course!"

"You could never draw anything badly!"

"It looks amazing."

Soon enough he was showered with much appreciation. A shy smile making way to his face he looked away from the group of rowdy boys.

Sunghoon then asks the three J's what they drew, in which he receives interesting answers from them each.

"Oh, no you don't need to see it."
Jungwon outright refuses to share it.

Sunghoon decides to drop it, but his fellow dongsaeng had no intention of doing such a thing.

"Why won't you show us?"

"Because you'd never understand. Not that you need to." Jungwon claimed, in a snarky tone.

"What's that supposed to mean? I can get that from you and completely understand." Sunoo asserted, his hands on his hips sassily.

Sunoo sensed a spark of trouble tumbling his way, as his challenging eyes bore straight into Jungwon's gaze. Sunoo grabbed the wrist near him, which just so happened to be Riki's, and dragged him up as hard as he could.

"We could totally take Jungwon down and take that from him, can't we, Ni-Ki-ah?"

Ni-Ki nodded undoubtedly, "Yep. He's smaller than us so we can take him."

"I wanna see you two try it." Jungwon sneered, his foot twisting preparing to dash out the door.

And soon they were out of the door, the inseparable duo chasing after the leader. Leaving the older members to laugh at the youngers' playful antics.

"Aish, those kids really make my day!" Jake wiped a fake tear from his eyes, a large smile ear to ear on his face.

Heeseung spoke up, not looking up from his drawing. "Jake, what's on your paper?"

That was certainly a better way to go about the question, but Sunghoon made random assumptions sometimes. Now wouldn't be any different.

Jake's picture consisted of detailed freshly green, mowed blades of grass. There wasn't anything else there. Just green grass. And Sunghoon couldn't find its significance. No matter how hard he squinted.

"Sunghoon-ah, d'you need to go back to wearing glasses again?" Heeseung teased from across the room.

"No, I just think that I'm not seeing this right."

"What? Is there something here you don't understand? I can explain if my drawing is that bad." Jake offered.

Sunghoon politely declined. "No... I just want to know if I'm seeing is what I think I'm seeing-"

Just then a slam of a door opening loudly disrupted the quiet room.

"Sunoo-yah! Don't slam doors!" Jay scolded the younger boy.

"Make it make sense," Sunoo deadpanned, pointing at the drawing of two brown doors.

"Just because you don't understand it doesn't mean it's pointless." Jungwon caught up with the two other maknae members, hands on his knees and catching his breath.

"Well, fess up then, tell us what's the point."

Jungwon shook his head. "No."

"Why not?" Sunoo pouted.

Jungwon finishes them off with, "That's for the therapist to know and for you to figure out later." He winked and the two laughed at his lack of winking ability. He snatched the paper from under them.

Sunghoon looked over at Jay whose reddened face began cooling off and he calmed down. He looked so at peace as he pressed a red coloring pencil against the paper, rubbing it into a stripe pattern.

"Did I get the shade right?" He heard Jake's voice pull him from under his dazed state.

His eyes, now attached to the grass from earlier before finally saying. "You drew grass?" A sarcastic tone laced along his voice.

He could hear some of the members' snickers as Jungwon, Riki and Heeseung move a bit closer to get a peek.

"Yeah, cause what's not to love about it? You can do anything there! You can roll, play soccer, have a picnic, dance, and so on."

The members from before began laughing just a little louder than previously. "Aww Jake-ah, aren't you cute?" Heeseung teased pinching Jake's cheek.

"Why are you even talking, Ramen boy?" Jake ridiculed. Heeseung took that to offense, shaking his head in disapproval.

Returning his attention to his friend who was still bewildered on the spot. Sunghoon didn't even know how else to react to that other than laugh.

"Ya!" Jake yelped at his best friend's laughter.

But now Sunghoon knew that you could draw anything. If he got away with that then imagine what else he could get away with?

"Jay, that's so cool! What is it anyway?" Intrigue caught in Jake's throat, grabbed ahold of Sunghoon's attention.

.Sunghoon and Jake find an interest in what Jay drew, half of an American flag and half of a Korean flag.

"Ah, that's impressive." Sunghoon uttered quietly.

Jay smiled softly at his friends' compliments.
"I guess it's just supposed to represent me as a whole, I used to think of myself as more American but after living here in Korea for a couple years I feel, like a mixture of both cultures."

Jake and Sunghoon nodded in understanding and the neighboring listener added in some commentary.

"I think that Jay-hyung is the only one who can properly explain his drawing." Riki snickered.

"True, true." Jake nodded in agreement, not even fighting the mischievous boy's sneaky intentions.

Inching closer to Sunghoon once again, Jake asked, " What about you, Sunghoon?"

"Hm?"

Sunghoon's blank paper was snatched from him as Jake chuckled. "You haven't done anything. Why not?"

Sunghoon was too surprised to have a proper reaction by getting his paper taken from him.
"Cause I can't think of anything." He shrugged helplessly.

"It can be anything, Sunghoon. You don't have to draw either, it can be writing too y'know."

"Anything you say?" Sunghoon cracked a joke, making Jake grin.

"Hey, if you wanna draw or write something weird, it's your funeral." He threw his hands up in defeat.

"And you'd let me set myself up for death? How could you?" Sunghoon gasped dramatically.

"What am I supposed to do? Save you from yourself?"

"Um, obviously. Why else are you here?" Sunghoon said as if it were genuinely obvious.

"Ah, I'm so sorry, Sunghoon-ah. I will definitely have your back. Don't worry your little head about that." Jake bowed, in an exaggerated manner causing Sunghoon to bite back his laughter, only failing miserably.

But if Jake had told him this earlier he'd have finished forever ago. Well, that wasn't exactly the case. He didn't have much to talk about. Nothing much was new, at least not with him. Nothing he really felt too strongly about either.

Feeling eyes on him, he looked for whoever would be looking at him. He found Jay looking away, a light pink tint spreading upon his cheeks. Sunghoon wondered what made the older so embarrassed, or was he feeling warm? Whatever it was, he hoped it went away soon.

It was rare to see the other feeling shy. And it made Sunghoon's heart swell with an overwhelming adoration. The older acting this way was just too cute for him to take. Not that he'd ever openly admit that. Upon close inspection, he noticed that he did have strong feelings about something... someone. Feelings he couldn't put a name on, but they were new and in the way of a lot of the things he did often. Something new he'd have to get accustomed to because he had literally no idea on how to rid himself of this. Not that he wanted to get rid of this wonderfully delirious emotion. But he wanted to gain at least some control over it.

The new subject of his underlying affections'.

And so he wrote. He wrote about the feelings he was starting to feel over one single person's fault. He didn't want to blame his close friend harshly, but he had to be held responsible for the feelings he made Sunghoon feel. It just wasn't right that he could get away with it so easily.

🖤🤍

"Now, how'd all this stuff get here?" Jay's hands were on his hips, he feigned surprise as he played along with the other members.

He gestured towards the entire setup the boys made just for him. "This must've taken forever to bring here. Did you guys have anyone else help?"

"Uh, yeah! Of course, we did." Jake chuckled awkwardly, exposing his lie already.

Riki glared at Jake's self-evidence, and Heeseung dragged along the youngest to bring in for convincing and maybe some distraction. If he'd help do the trick, he gladly signed up for it.

"Jay-hyung, can you grill it for us?" Riki pleaded, with his sweetest eyes in the means of pity from Jay.

"Yes, can you? We would really, really appreciate this!" Heeseung was quick to add in.

Jay laughed lightly at the two kissing up to him. They didn't need to do it, but he liked the appreciation. "Y'know what? I'll go ahead and do it." He grinned.

The oldest and youngest cheered happily as they passed Jay all the utensils and plates necessary for grilling.

Sunoo runs over, plate in his hand while he brought more vegetables and seasonings to grill. Reaching Jay, he made his mark and began buttering up the older in hopes of gaining something.

"Jay-hyung, do you need anything else?" His sweet, sweet smile complimented his pretty features as he held out the tray.

"Not as of now, thanks Sunoo-ah." Jay politely declined, a soft chuckle at the end of his sentence.

Batting his eyelashes a multitude of times in a second, hoping to appeal to the older. "If you do, just tell me, hyung."

Jake rolls his eyes at Sunoo's attempt at getting served first by using his delicate charm. Ni-Ki was disgruntled by Sunoo as well, believing the older already had the upper hand, as he was awfully close to the current cook.

Over at the picnic table, Jungwon decides to speak to Sunghoon about how silent he's been lately. It wasn't necessarily a problem, but just something no one was really used to. It threw them all off, and Jungwon knew he spoke for everyone when he said that.

"Sunghoon-hyung,"

The older hummed, expecting the leader to make small talk.

"Why are you being so quiet?"

"What are you talking about?"

Jungwon sent the older a tight-lipped smile before responding.

"Y'know hyung," He held the ramen packs close to him, opening them right above the boiling pot. "I have learned a lot about the members of this group the more time I'm here."

Sunghoon nodded, as he let the younger continue.

"And I know everyone's habits, their schedules, I keep track of them. I'd like to say I know everyone here pretty well." Jungwon's reassurance radiated through his confident eyes.

"But even though I've known you longer than everyone else," He dumped the solid dry noddles into the vaporizing water. "You're still incredibly unpredictable. D'you know that?"

"Am I?" Sunghoon released a bit of a forced chuckle.

"Yeah, One year I think you're quiet because you're shy. The next I think you're the loudest person alive besides Jay-hyung,"

Sunghoon feels a smile tug at his traitorous lips at the mention of Jay's name.

"Now... now I really don't know what to think."

"I'm not being... that quiet... am I?" Sunghoon pointed at himself, feeling left out of Jungwon's very open thoughts.

"Yes. It feels weird, I can never completely get used to all the phases you change into. But whatever suits your mood." Jungwon shrugged, double-checking the bubbling water.

Sunghoon glazed over what the small leader had told him. He hadn't really thought that, that was what anyone thought about when they thought about it. He believed he'd surrounded himself with people who knew him enough to understand him and never doubt that. But here he was, hearing that his unpredictability was off the charts. And although that shouldn't surprise him, at the same time it did. He always found himself reasonable enough. Sure he changed for good reasoning, right?

Looking up to find the rest of the group shoving each other to be served first. The younger rowdy competitive boys had riled up the two older boys in the process. Causing a chaotically loud brawl. He found himself laughing at what was going on up ahead, forgetting his troubles for a moment.

"Ya! Stop fighting like animals, you're all going to eat anyways!" Jay bellowed. "It's pointless to argue." He concluded cooly, flipping the meat over entirely.

Sunghoon smiled curtly, witnessing the group of boys smile back at the hot-headed American.

Jay had finished making about half of the meat and served his blonde dongsaeng who didn't forget to politely thank him and bow. Not a second after, he rubs it in Ni-Ki's face that he's superior.

"You seeee?! I told you I was Jay-hyung's favorite!" Sunoo waved the deliciously fresh-smelling steak around the younger's nostrils, before cruelly taking it away.

"Sunoo." Ni-Ki growled.

"Try to mess with me again, Ni-Ki." Sunoo threatened weakly.

"What? Are you jealous?" Sunoo taunted once more before Ni-Ki was leaning in and grunting.

"Hyung, if you don't leave right now, I will take your food from you and eat it." A passive-aggressive tone, exposing his irritation made the blonde back away, laughing nervously.

"F-fine. I'll leave... but o-only cause I wanted to!" He scurried off to the picnic table obediently.

Dropping his plate down next to the boy who didn't flinch, Sunoo complained. "Wait- I can't sit here!" He retrieved his food once again.

Jungwon looked up at the older, "Why not?" He deadpanned.

"Because Ni-Ki is gonna sit here! I couldn't possibly sit next to that brat!"

When Jungwon still remained unfazed by Sunoo's reasoning, the older rambled hoping the leader would switch seats with him. That was until Sunoo pointed from the spot across them.

"Hey, why don't I just sit next to you Sunghoon-hyung?" Sunoo suggested.

"But-um Jake's gonna sit right next to me and he directly told me." Sunoo rolled his eyes at the pale boy and returned his attention to their leader, who looked just about ready to kill someone.

Sunghoon really wasn't lying though, not that the sassy pocketz cared. Like at all. They seriously wanted him to shut up. It was seriously mean on their part and so uncalled for. His small dongsaengs doing this to him won't be forgotten.

Raising from his seat in a flash, Jungwon slammed his hands against the wooden table. "Take my seat then." He took the time to grab Sunoo by the wrist and pull the older to where he originally sat, pushing him down into the seat.

A bit startled by that reaction, Sunoo was frazzled and Jungwon walked away not caring about the surprise he caused the members he left.

Sunghoon wasn't sure what that whole scene with Jungwon was about, maybe he shouldn't focus too much on what the younger told him earlier. After all, the leader was packed with stress and was very much flawed, not that there was anything wrong with that, only that he probably should be the last talking. That was all.

Jay served everyone their own food before serving Sunghoon and then himself. In Sunghoon's beliefs he was given his food late so his food could be warmest, wouldn't that mean he was the favorite? But the rest of the group's suspicions were completely different. It ranged from Sunoo who got his food first, to Jungwon who got the biggest slab of meat.

The Sunki duo were arguing excessively the most. And Jay looked directly at him from the far end of the table. Smiling at him sweetly, temporarily distracting him from the bickering, it was now background noise. Sunghoon smiled back, as he looked down at his plate, being famished and the whole meal looked delicious.

A bang on the table was caused by the two argumentative boys, Jay, too distracted to notice his surroundings and scold them, they squabbled.

"It's clearly me!" Sunoo shouted.

"It's not! Stop talking!" Ni-Ki whined aloud.

Jungwon had, had enough. Especially considering the fact that he's in between two people yelling at each other over the amount of meat on his plate.

Usually, these two weren't so childish like now, but maybe they were letting loose since there weren't any cameras for them to be good and quiet for. Not that, that was a good thing though. Even then they're usually on their best behavior, with the exception of Ni-Ki's pranks. But they'd get over it in due time. Right now though, that was a different story. It seemed that their tensions were high, as they continuously argued about too much to be frankly sure. It was tiring. To all the members. But Jungwon believed he had to deal with it the most. As he was obligated to be around them the most. And he technically was the leader.

Jungwon busied himself with cutting a chunk big enough for someone to choke on, stabbing the meat, and shoving it straight into Sunoo's running mouth. The rest of the group, fell under quite the stupor as they saw how the loud boy was finally silenced. Jungwon pushed his plate away closer to Sunoo as he got up, deciding he needed fresh air.

"I'm not that hungry anymore, you have it." He gave away his food that was barely touched and was still steaming hot.

Looking back to see that Sunoo look conflicted and almost offended but not quite mad. Instead, he cheered, and as he chewed away he jumped in his seat.

"Dammit, Jungwon why'd you give it to him?" Ni-Ki complained.

Shrugging Jungwon responded. "What I said earlier." Not a word more, not a word less he stalked off.

When Sunghoon made it halfway through the food he realized he got a smaller portion of meat, which was definitely not preferred. And a large amount of, you guessed it, corn. Which was presumably canned, they'd already eaten their remainders of ears in a stew not too long ago. So that was self-explanatory. He loved meat though, and he hadn't the slightest idea why he would possibly pass up meat for some corn. Was he even really the favorite?

Only to realize that Jay obviously did this on purpose. Not to tick him off but rather to not draw suspicion from the group and also send a secret message. A message that he liked him most, through his own way. Because even though Sunghoon preferred meat over corn any day, Jay loves corn. The fact that he gave up so much just to give to him was undeniably... romantic in a strange kind of way. Just thinking about all that made his heart flutter.

Maybe he was overthinking this whole thing. Sure. But he couldn't help the corny things Jay made him think of. Gosh, he was even getting into his head.

He looked up once more to see Jay staring, delightfully satisfied by the tiny pile of corn on his spoon. It was oddly endearing.

🤍🖤

Not much free time was left to spare. They'd be busy, idol life took a toll on their lives. But whenever they could squeeze out just a tad bit more time to themselves, they would.

Luckily they didn't have to worry about that today. Because today was their day off. And they all gladly took advantage of their very limited time.

Sunghoon was wandering the place. He slept in long enough to feel refreshed when he woke up. It felt strange because even before idol life he trained to wake up early for skating practice. So his brain's natural function is to enforce a time for his eyes to open before the sun was up. It wasn't a question or something he'd hesitate to do. It was him waking up, as he was accustomed to doing exactly that.

But today was different. As were other break days. They'd sleep in, well not for too long. Except for Jay who slept well through the morning and into the afternoon. Eat as much as they wanted secretly, stuff the staff didn't need to know of course. And wallow in the pleasures of their favorite pass times.

This time around he already did most of what he wanted. And he wasn't feeling very productive today. At least not enough to entertain himself with his endeavors. Not alone.

It wasn't one of the days where he'd appreciate time away from anyone. Oddly enough it was the day when he wanted to spend time with the members. He wanted to talk with them and figure out what they were spending their day doing. Wasting his time away with them was what he desired on this lovely Sunday.

And so he embarked on a mission to stick to whatever activity interested him the most. Deciding that although Sunoo and Jay's dedication to cooking was adorable, he still found no interest in investing his time in such a mundane tiring activity, he led himself elsewhere.

Next thing he knew he was outside seeing the ball boyz and the oldest cycling. It was nice for a change. Something they hadn't the chance to do all the time. And Sunghoon being the previous athlete he was, had no problem with a little muscle pulling. Now he just had to figure out how to get the handles from under the hold of the other boys and into his own clutches.

The perfect time arrived at Heeseung getting off his bike, dropping himself onto the pavement. He informed the other boys he needed a water break.

It was Sunghoon's perfect opportunity really. He could hop on the bike and join Ni-Ki and Jake's cycling while also showing off some cool moves. He loved to flaunt his skills in anything really and gain praise from it. He thrived off of it.

A wide grin on his face remained not so unsuspecting to the boy who proceeded towards him.

Heeseung tried to talk to the younger boy but, Sunghoon hadn't heard him.

"Sunghoon." The call fell upon deaf ears as the younger ran over to his previously abandoned bicycle.

Watching the cinnamon brunette climb the bike he hoped the younger could heed his warnings. Bringing safety gear he was still carrying from leaving the bike. He made his way towards him.

"Sunghoon-ah, take these! They'll make your trip much safer." Heeseung offered.

Sunghoon declined politely, his hand motioning a stop sign. "I'll be fine hyung."

Heeseung didn't let up on warnings, only worried for the other. Sunghoon's excitement got to him as he began cycling away toward his best friend and the youngest.

Getting the hang of the feeling of his feet pedaling in an impeccable loop while balancing his weight and adjusting it with his hands on the handlebars, he decided now was the time to be a show-off. It was just too good to pass up.

"Wow, I really am impressive aren't I?" Letting go of the handlebars and bringing his arms up to the flowing wind, attention being dragged away by the ongoing bike. "I haven't been on a bike in forever! Can you believe it?" So caught up in the feeling of controlling the moving two-wheeler, he didn't catch the snorts and eye-rolls of the other two.

Faster than he could react he tilted just a tad too far toward the left. His reflexes couldn't seem to stop the fall. And so he fell sideways on his left knee and elbow, scraping it in the process.

"Yeah, I definitely believe that." Ni-Ki deadpanned, as a response to Sunghoon's boasting.

That damn brat was probably thinking of that comeback since before he fell. Sunghoon glared at the youngest who remained unimpressed.

"Ni-Ki can you-" Jake spoke up, but the clever boy didn't need to be told.

"Yeah, I got it." Ni-Ki rushed on his bike on the way back.

Heeseung went into a frenzy of worry, fearing for Sunghoon's milky white skin to be dripping with the crimson liquid soon. Winning an internal quarrel he made his way inside again, in hopes to find the first aid kit or help in general.

"Hey, calm down, look at the bright side!" Jake crouched down, eyeing Sunghoon's wounds.

Jake's lips upturned a smile Sunghoon found mocking from its enthusiastic nature. "Your cuts might just match the concept photos!" He dusted his hands off, as if he'd been hard at work helping the younger, and got back up.

Jake bringing up their concept felt like a pull at his dedication. As if Sunghoon would let the patronizing comment slide, Jake went on believing he'd done right.

Their newer concept dealt with more blood than either of them could imagine. Varying from the scene with the blood raining down on him to their artificial cuts, they'd all remember this concept for all its false bloodshed. Frankly, Sunghoon pitied the weak-hearted hemophobic engenes.

"How is that supposed to make me feel better?!" Sunghoon exclaimed.

"Um... as long as Jay doesn't find out, you're fine." Jake shrugged, assuming his best friend would understand him.

He didn't.

"What do you mean by that?"

"Well, you know how Jay gets when one of us messes up. Especially when we're being reckless." The dark-haired boy clued him in.

Unfortunately, Sunghoon still hadn't received the message Jake was implying. What did he mean by that? And why wasn't he being specific?

"No, I don't. What happens?" Sunghoon questioned, feeling like he was going in circles by staying the inquirer for half this conversation.

Jake gasped, "Oh- dear God have mercy on his soul!" He cried out, clasping his hands together, his eyes squeezed shut as he began reciting a silent prayer.

"Why are you praying?" Sunghoon's head tilted sideways, already feeling exhausted by his energetic best friend's behavior.

He swore he loved this boy to death, but man did the guy tire him out.

"Because, I love you." Jake unabashedly said, before returning to his holy endeavors.

Nevermind. Maybe he loved the boy enough to wanna kill him sometimes.

"Aish." Sunghoon held back on the urge to curse his best friend out. "Stoppit already!" Sunghoon whined as he fell back.

But Jake stubbornly refused. And that response made Sunghoon wonder about the severity of Jay's wrath and how he himself perceived it was.

It was pretty bad actually.

Bad was an understatement.

He'll rephrase it better.

It was horrifying.

Well as horrifying as an angry Jongseong muttering to himself while cleaning up your wounds not-so-gently was. The older was in all gray sweats looking like his plan for the entire day was to stay in and lay on the couch all day. Now his previous lazy grin had been screwed over and turned to scrunched-up eyebrows and a troubled frown that was etched onto his face instead.

Throwing out another gauze pad that had soaked up more blood than the alcohol. Jay got to work on pouring more alcohol onto a new gauze pad before pressing it against Sunghoon's pink-tinted skin.

"Ah!"

That was another thing. Jay wasn't afraid to show his rage through his actions. That's what made him so intimidating. Even if he's smaller than Sunghoon, and overall a big baby.

Sunghoon was alleviated by the thought that Jay had no intention to pursue any sort of career in the medical field just for the sake of, he'd be too tough on the patients. He didn't pitch the older to do such a job anyways.

Through the yelping, if he was paying any attention he'd hear that Heeseung is apologizing. Well, the eldest felt the need to do that now irked him.

Couldn't he see that Sunghoon wasn't in the right condition to be talking right now? No less accepting apologies?

"I'm so sorry, Sunghoon! It's all my fault!" But nonetheless, the oldest still hadn't gotten this across his thick skull, and so the wounded boy answered.

"Yeah-ow! Heeseung stop apo- ah! Stop apologizing!" Wanting to pull his arm away from Jay who held onto it tighter, as they fought a silent war.

Heeseung bowed politely. He took his leave but not before trying to glance Sunghoon's way and wincing at the wailing boy. He couldn't differentiate Sunghoon's melodrama or if Jay was genuinely being rough. Not that he could do anything about it. So walking out of the living area and making his way into the kitchen he passes by Sunoo's whines about the pain Sunghoon is going through.

Sunoo inclined over his chair, tipping over the edge to get a better look. He'd then cover his eyes at the sight of the wound.

"Geez, you're such a baby." Ni-Ki snorted, rolling his eyes at the sighing boy.

"I can't help it, I've never been around an injured person." Hugging himself, Sunoo tried to pull himself into a calmer state of mind, only feeling antsy when he heard another pained groan.

"Sunoo, he isn't injured. He just scraped his skin a little." After Jungwon announces this Sunoo plops down at the kitchen table cutely, his sadness drained right out of his body.

Strange sight really, the older has gone back to eating his meal, like he was doing that all along and not just worrying over their hurt hyung. Jungwon leaves, finding the older's mood swing too odd to even try to comprehend, even less to try and understand.

Jay temporarily loosened his hold on the younger boy. "Stop moving so much, I already finished." Sunghoon immediately stops his howling and looks at his arm before Jay brings his arm towards him once more.

Now with more of Sunghoon's approval. "Lemme bandage it though." Sunghoon nodded while watching Jay intently. The older did have some sort of charm to sting him onto some calm state of mind, that if he explained to someone else they might not quite comprehend it. But that was ok, they didn't really need to. It was something he only felt with Jay, this safe, warm aura that hung around the two. And Sunghoon could never try to match that energy with anyone else.

It was also a nice thing to both feel and see. Jay caring for him, just like he cared for others. It wasn't often he felt in this spot as much. Under the intent gaze of the other, feeling Jay's healing hands on his skin.

He liked it.

Once Jay had finished placing the bandaids carefully he asked Sunghoon,

"Is it fine like that? Not too tight or loose? Is it comfortable?" His deep voice coming out low, his eagle-like eyes as perceptive as ever, as they were fixed on Sunghoon's arm it's movement.

He hadn't moved an inch, still gazing over at the older boy and his gentle approach. Jay was more aware of his silence than he'd noticed.

"Sunghoon-ah?"

The dark-haired teen looked back, reverting his attention to the question at hand.

Which was?

He felt the gauze lightly wrapped around his elbow tighten fairly when he bent his arm, it made it harder to curve. But objectively he deserved some sort of karma. Even if he wanted to literally die before admitting such a thing.

"Yeah, it's fine." Sunghoon spoke up. Jay hummed as a response, before getting to cleaning the mess he made when he'd rushed to get the first aid kit.

Not a scene he expected from the older. He knew Jay was a caring fellow, they are best friends after all, but even then he still hadn't ever seen his friend in such a predicament. Not that he can remember at least. But then again, how else are you supposed to react when you see your friend's scraped skin and them bleeding out. Not exactly a godly sight, even if Sunghoon thought he always was.

And while watching Jay scramble onto the floor to grab all of the scattered materials, closed and capped, of course, Jay took great care of their safety, couldn't help thinking, maybe Jay would be just fine in the medical field. Harsh assumptions of earlier came to mind, as he readjusted his position and his eyes led him down at the kneeling boy. Sure he wasn't the nicest person in the room, but his tender heart exposed the tough love hidden under his cool persona.

Well, he spoke too soon.

Jay had packed the first aid kit properly and slid back into his spot from before. Sunghoon smiles at Jay, but Jay doesn't return that smile. He slaps him right on his sore elbow instead.

"AH! Why would you DO that?!" Sunghoon asked loudly, as he pulled his arm away, protecting it from Jay's hands.

"Be more careful." Jay said, no graze of a smile or remnants of a frown.

"You hit me over that?" Sunghoon grumbled, still rubbing his arm.

"Don't tell me you're complaining. Don't you remember who started with the whole 'they do that because they care'?" Jay used air quotes, rolling his eyes after.

Sunghoon blushed lightly, pouting he looked away. "This isn't the same case."

He didn't expect Jay to bring up such words from the past. The exact memory of when he himself practically shouted those words. He hadn't even expected him to remember such a thing. But the fact that he did, impressed Sunghoon. That meant that Sunghoon was the love of his life or truly the bane of his existence, in a playful way that only they understood amongst themselves. So he memorized that either to bother him about it or to prove his 'dedication' to Sunghoon. He couldn't tell if he appreciated it though.

"Oh, sure it isn't." Jay slid him a sly grin, Sunghoon felt the urge to correct him but a loud sound reaching them stopped him.

It was Sunoo who ran over to the duo who seemed to be stuck in their own moment. Unaware of that fact, he hopped into their bubble of a moment.

"Sunghoon-hyung! Please take better care of yourself!" Sunoo warned, his deep voice becoming higher all for the sake of whining.

"Aww, Jay-ah you should take notes from the way Sunoo shows his care." Sunghoon patted the younger boy's arm, his contentment obvious through his wide smile.

"Um... hyung you didn't let me finish. I was gonna say, you're an idol after all! You can't be ugly!" Sunoo chided, not-so-nicely.

Sunghoon hadn't anticipated that reaction at all. Quite the opposite, expecting undying support he slapped the younger after hearing Jay's chuckle. "Pfft- I don't think I can be that cruel, Sunghoon."

Turning over towards the untrustworthy blonde "Aish. What happened to you? I thought you were a good child." Sunghoon mentally cursed.

"I was just expressing my concern. You still look beautiful." Sunoo shrugged still clueless about the mini-game Sunghoon and Jay were playing.

Sunghoon rolled his eyes but slightly smiled at the compliment. He could appreciate that much. He could never deny good words towards himself. So even if it was a halfhearted insult he'd eat it up too.

Jay rubbed little Sunoo's head affectionately. As if he were thankful, Sunghoon wondered if it was because he came at Sunghoon harshly or because he complimented him last minute. He chose to stay oblivious.

He'd be glad that it were the latter rather than the first.

🖤🤍

The collar of his ivory blouse was clinched in between the tan, calloused, and plump fingers of Park Jongseong.

Sunghoon hadn't even gotten the chance to look the other up and down before Jay voicelessly decided to fix his outfit that even Sunghoon wasn't aware needed fixing. But Sunghoon didn't mind one bit. He didn't mind that his personal space was being invaded, or that they were practically breathing each other's air from the unnecessarily close proximity, and he certainly didn't mind Jay's hands on him.

Not that he knew why he didn't mind any of this.

Now that wasn't really true. Sunghoon had been friends with Jay for quite a while, it wasn't anything new. But even then, his new accompanying feelings made this situation so different. So it was partly true.

Sunghoon swears he can feel his heart jump out of his chest, begging and chasing after one thing. And one thing only. His eyes glazed over as the thoughts of Jay's hot breath on him, and the soft pressure of what he could only imagine his full lips would feel like overtook his mind.

And for only a moment Jay's sepia-brown orbs flitted upwards, gazing into his eyes. They were so close, so close that he could count every last eyelash that clung onto his eyelids. See every striking feature of his up close, see every bold black line in his irises. And even when he inched closer, feeling hazy as his eyes darted towards his target. Those lusciously glossy parted lips.

The older takes a sudden step away, his darkening gaze gleaming only for its glow to fade as he said. "We'll have to start shooting again." His taut hand loomed over his shoulder, only to pull away before ever touching the younger.

Sunghoon cleared his throat to speak up but he hadn't even gotten the chance to, as Jay was already scrambling off to find where he'd have to be for the next scene.

His foggy mind, still secluded from all thoughts besides what just happened. His initial thought was dammit. Dammit, because how could he let him get away? His second was what the hell? What the hell was wrong with him? He then had to embrace the fact that his brain was still stuck chasing that temporary pleasure. That sweet release of pent-up frustration. That refreshing answer to his curious mind and body, the need to know. It was a thirst like no other, still to remain unquenched. His last was finally acceptance. Accepting that his fundamental thought was both very obvious and indubitably quite gay. Not something he could deny anymore.

Both he and Jay agreed that going the honest route was always best. And right now he knew it was the smarter choice. But now he knew he was royally fucked.

Why you ask? Oh only because he, Park Sunghoon stayed cloaked in mystery. Wanting to stay a boy with a cold demeanor, with an intimidating gaze he failed miserably. He was truly nothing like he wanted to look. He was just a shy, playfully trouble-ridden boy who was mistaken for a cool guy. He never quite met the standard once you actually got to know him though. And knowing him got you to know that he got embarrassed quite easily. Not ready to speak up too many times or seek much change and anyone would understand why he hated that he'd fallen so damn hard.

When he first thought of this he hadn't thought it through entirely and jumped right in to get out of an awkward situation. And to quench his stupid thirst called undying curiosity.

But now he had a new goal set in mind. To get his desperate brain and heart to finally be satisfied. Sunghoon wanted to set on a mission to retrieve that kiss. To get that one first kiss from Jay. He simply had to know, and he didn't know how much longer he could live with this heavy tension. It was unbearable. To not know what the older's plush lips felt like, or what that distinctive crack on his bottom would taste like under his tongue.

Maybe his mind was a bit far-fetched. He shook his head, hoping to fall out of the gutter his head was becoming and stick to the main idea of it all. He had to form a plan on how to do this.

But how?

🤍🖤

The group gets a well-deserved break after 'Fever' promotions. They had been working non-stop to deliver their absolute best for their upcoming album. Never wanting to disappoint their loyal fans they worked hard throughout the tiring, long photoshoots and staying all night in the studio, singing with all their might and learning to memorize and execute new choreographies only to be told that they'd need to learn about three more for a new music video and two other stage performances.

Sunghoon always felt like being an idol was unreachable. And now that he's accomplished his goal he realized that even being an idol shouldn't be idolized. Not in the sense that he did it. Being an idol was another job. A career. And it required more work effort than it seems to the people who weren't idols. It was one that you had to work hard to perfect, because even through your best efforts, your sweat, and tears they could so easily be overlooked. Because your exhausted face could be covered up with make-up to make you look flawless all over again. And it's your fault if you memorized the dance so well you make it look too easy, therefore you aren't putting in too much effort. Or you wouldn't be seen as an actual human being with a regular stamina and emotions. And if you did make a mistake you weren't trying nearly hard enough, and you didn't deserve to be where you were standing.

But maybe he was overthinking it.

Very unlike love.

It wasn't something your heart would ever let you overthink. Because while your brain processed something, your heart had decided what it wanted forever ago. It wasn't a question. It never really was if you asked his heart. For it lacked logic of all means. And even before he knew it, his heart did. Quite sure what it picked, it choose without your permission. And before you could be upset at its pick you realize you can't fight your feelings any longer. You fell. You fell hard.

It feels so hopeless at first. To have to admit such a thing. Feeling so weak and at the mercy of emotions you find yourself unable to control. But a little after the acceptance you're freed. Of all the burdensome thoughts holding you back. Those chains keeping you from experiencing all sorts of happiness and innocence are finally broken.

Love was strong, it was stronger than he'd imagined it could be.

He supposed love and luck went hand in hand, for his love sprinkled some good luck in his life.

Ah yes, it did. Granted, their time off would be well spent. As they planned a small camping trip, approved by the company who agreed they hadn't gotten enough time outside.

So here they were surrounded by endless greenery, hiking under a baby blue sky littered with small puffs of clouds that move, covering the golden rays of heat beaming down at them, giving them temporary shade.

A versatile group of shoes ranging from dirty old converse to squeaky new Nike's trailed down the dirt path that led them to their campsite.

Looking around Sunghoon inhaled the scent of recent rainfall and wild flower petals, embracing the beauty of nature. He treads forward faster to catch up with the group. It wasn't as enclosed as he was used to. The nice open space being a truly fresh breath of air as he swung his arms around his spacious spot. A smile graced his lips as he caught up to the chattering group.

"Man, I miss being outside like this!" Jake expressed his yearning for the forest's light air and large trees that engulfed their small selves in comparison.

"Ah, same. It's so nice to have so much space!" Jungwon practically read his mind. Or he'd thought this beforehand, which Sunghoon also understood.

"Are we staying overnight?" Jake questioned.

"I sure hope not. There's a ton of bugs out here!" Jay panicked.

"Don't you worry about that. You have me to protect you." Sunghoon slung an arm around Jay's neck, sending him his most charming smile.

Opportunity. That was the first word that came to mind when his best friend brought the idea up to their leader, and Jungwon never one for denying Jake's adorable puppy-like features, agreed.

And a wonderful opportunity it was indeed. An opportunity to take advantage of their time together and get close enough to kiss the older senseless. Or at least that's what he had in mind. Not sticking to any strict formations or over-the-top rules he decided to stop playing it safe, like he was doing that in the first place, and just find the right moment and fall under the right mood. So keeping this in mind, he'd decided to try and get more comfortable to test his effect on Jay.

And judging by Jay's gaze kept down at his feet as if he'd stumble if he weren't careful, and the tips of his ears going scarlet he'd gathered that he could be confident his presence was enough to fluster the older.

Jake jumped atop a rock ahead. Hopping off large rocks as a means of fun, he'd throw anyone off with his surprisingly strict tone. "Guys, you have to remember that we're out here in the wild. So if you find any bugs or animals you have to let them be. They're in their natural habitat."

"Ok, nature boy." Riki commented sardonically.

Jake rolled his eyes. "Be more creative, Ni-Ki."

"Chill out, nature boy." The youngest repeated the joke.

"Jay, I have OFF so don't worry so much." Jungwon shook his full backpack.

But even then Jay still appreciated Sunghoon's much longer, strong arm wrapped around him. He made him feel much more safe and secure, he thought as he nestled into the taller boy's embrace.

"We're gonna be here for one day. So for those of you who want to be here a while, that's unfortunate. But for those of you who don't want to be here, then that's good news. Take it however you want." Sunoo shrugged giving them the news with a bitter tone.

Jungwon peered at Heeseung's Nintendo switch, noticing the older hadn't said a word for their entire way there. "D'you know what's up with him?" He asked the older who in turn shook his head, his eyes glued to his screen.

Roasting marshmallows at dusk. It was what the group had finally ended up doing. Something nobody there really planned on doing but Jay had brought some explaining that he's always had them while he camped out with his family when he was younger.

"We always had these when I still lived in the states." He held the bag up, as he reminisced.

And soon enough everyone wanted to indulge in the culture of melting your marshmallow by a toasty campfire. Mostly to see what it'd taste like.

Jay continued to rant on and on about the vacations he used to go on with his family back when he was still in Seattle. He included a few or what he said was a few that he'd gone to when he moved to Korea. Which ended up just plenty stories of wild adventures he'd gotten into when he was younger.

Most of the group was patiently waiting for their skewed marshmallow could finally be passed out. And when they were, a few tuned out of the older boy's ramble, knowing that he'd only keep going. But Sunghoon couldn't pull his eyes away, not even when Jay gave him his marshmallow that was neatly skewed into the wooden skewer. He liked the stories of course, it was interesting to hear about how Jay was when he was younger. But he also couldn't dare think of looking away as he didn't want to stop seeing the beautiful sight of Jay's gleaming brown eyes, they became gradually lighter under or before a bright happening. Now he knew they shined with a purpose when he was happy too. Tiny crinkles formed around his eyes when he recalled a particularly funny memory he was fond of, and Sunghoon couldn't find the adorable boy more endearing than this. Sunghoon sighed in contentment.

His heart hammering so hard he feared Jay might hear it, as he wasn't too far away from him. But as he side-eyed the smaller boy he found he was busier handing out a new marshmallow for the panicking boy on his mother's side.

"Ah, I don't think I'm doing this right!" Sunoo fearfully held the stick too close for it to toast at all.

Jungwon tried to help guide the lost boy. "Sunoo-hyung, you just have to lean in a li-"

Only to be cut off by Jay wordlessly exchanging the untouched marshmallow with a freshly toasted one.

Sunoo's voice babied as he thanked the older. "Aw, this looks so good! Thank you hyung!" His youthfully sweet no-eye smile being shot his way.

Next to the happy boy was an aggravated Jungwon who wasn't quite happy with being ignored. He stares daggers Jay's way, the older remained innocently warming more of the white treats. Looking off for a second too long, he spoke up in hopes to gain Sunoo's attention.

"You ok with your marshmallow now Sunoo?"

The older nodded, a satisfied smile painted his lips. "Yeah, everything's fine now!" His tone, peppy as always.

But just like before any disaster, as soon as he'd turned his head to look over at their leader his voice became that of a warning.

"J-Jungwon! Yours is on fire!"

Jungwon looks back at it to freak out when he sees that's completely true. Shaking it as the only thing in his head now is to get the flames to die out of it before it touches the wood and he starts a forest fire. Well, they'd be able to take the fire out before it ever got that big, but he wasn't really thinking straight right now.

Once the flames had gone away he was left with a lightly blackened marshmallow on a stick. Most likely only burned on the surface. He sighed discontented at the result he considered a fail.

"Ah, shoot." He huffed out, avoiding cursing for real as he was still considerate that there was a child currently around.

"You like them burnt, huh? Haha!"
Jungwon rolled his eyes at Jake's comment.

Sunoo tapped on his shoulder. He casually exchanged their marshmallows.

"Sunoo-hyung, you don't have to-"
But the elder already bit into it.

Chewing it he nodded. "It's not bad." Sunoo smiled, as he politely kept his mouth closed.

"There's no way a burnt one tastes good." Jungwon deadpanned.

Only to hear the American speak up from his spot. "Actually there are some people who like theirs burnt. It's kind of a thing."

"How?" Jungwon openly expressed his confusion.

"It's interesting, and kinda crispy at the top. It's good to me." Sunoo shrugged.

Jungwon laughed awkwardly, trying to hide his blush.

And from the other side of them, the last three commented freely. "Ugh, imagine being that noble." Ni-Ki shook his head, on his way to roast his second.

"Imagine liking burnt food." Jake chuckled along with the youngest.

"Uh... Jake."

"What, Heeseung?" Jake sent a questioning look.

"Should you really be talking?" The eldest was pretty focused on his surroundings for someone who constantly lived on his games.

"Huh?"

Heeseung pointed at the burnt marshmallow.

"Ah!" Jake yelped at the darkness for the usually white treat.

"Idiot." Ni-Ki mumbled but Jake could hear it. Ni-Ki then proceeded to snatch Jake's stick and give him his newly melted marshmallow.

"Wow... Ni-Ki that was so cool." Jake held it up towards the setting sun to see where it browned so perfectly, the roasted smell emitting from it.

"Jake, what are you talking about?" Riki spoke from his spot, trying to figure out what to do with the burnt puff.

"Heeseung, did you feel his aura just now? I felt like I was in a show... or movie. Thank you Ni-Ki." Jake gestured dramatically, causing Heeseung to cover his laughs.

"Stop being weird hyung." Deciding to take a bite out of it out of curiosity he also found himself thankful that one of the members had accidentally burned their marshmallow.

Sunghoon's had long burnt as he had shaky hands, and a fear of doing something stupid or accidentally burning himself. He wasn't the clumsy type, but anything could happen. He sure as hell was cautious when the time called for it.

As if Jay had sensed it, he silently grabbed ahold of his fumbling hands that tightened around the stick by instinct. Softly pressing his serene warmth into Sunghoon's slender clammy hands. Once he got ahold of the stick and pulled away, Sunghoon was already disappointed at the loss of touch.

But god forbid Jay let Sunghoon feel any sort of disappointment for too long. For he returned awarding the younger with a white one Sunghoon could safely assume was straight from the bag and his hands over his once more.

Sunghoon bit his lip, hoping his heart going haywire wasn't noticeable. Looking down for a second, he loved the contrast between his thin milky fingers under Jay's sun-kissed thicker palms. They were so different but matched so well, so right. They'd held hands countless times before. But this time it was different. This time he fought the smile threatening to break out from the butterflies floating all about his stomach. It's nothing like before, really.

"Is it fine like this?" Jay's deep voice reverberated into his ear. It was then that Sunghoon realized their proximity, he was practically breathing lightly into his ear.

It made him all the more nervous, and he wondered where all his previous confidence had gone. He couldn't look up from there, much less speak a proper word without stuttering a stupid amount of times. That was what his anxious-riddled brain thought up at least.

Not receiving an answer as the younger was still in his head, Jay spoke up once more. "Hoon-ah?"

Sunghoon looked up to meet the older's eyes by instinct. His mistake--but all at the same time he felt an adrenaline rush as he took it all in, their closeness, they were already touching and now they were staring right into each other's eyes. Feeling both nervous and excited as the thought of his chance being now brought him unbearable joy.

His umber eyes trailed down towards Jay's lips just as he had not so long ago. Sunghoon's lips parted as he licked his lips before edging closer. Jay remained unmoving for a moment only to quickly move into action. He shoved the melted marshmallow into Sunghoon's mouth before he could get any closer.

Sunghoon's eyes widened, and he looked towards Jay to find the older slowly turn away, pulling his arms off from the younger. His lips pressed into a thin line as he made no sort of eye contact with him.

Sunghoon blinked rapidly as he felt around the round foamy snack in his mouth, trying to remove the sticky ball of sugar. When Jay's darting eyes looked his way again he shot an apologetic look before turning away once more. Sunghoon instead sunk in the creamy deformed treat into his mouth with his pointer finger. Glaring at the older for the rude way of rejection.

Hot frustration fueled his veins alongside him becoming heavily aware of everyone's presence the whole way round. Seated on the wooden log benches around the crackling campfire that illuminated their faces as the sun set orange streaks up the purple sky. Glad that it was now dark out as his deep embarrassment at what he'd almost done showed on his beet-red cheeks. No one found any interest in even looking his way, as they were lost in their conversation just as lost as he'd become when he gazed into Jay's eyes. He truly felt like they were the only ones there.

He couldn't believe he had become so unaware of their surroundings. So much so that he was tempted to kiss the older boy senseless in front of the whole group.

Dammit, love was so much stronger than he'd ever anticipated it to be.

Still, not over the incident, he found he couldn't sleep. And the moment from earlier never left his mind either. Oh, but how could he forget all his other senses had been blinded by the fact that his chance was out there in the open? And Jay's lovely lips on display, out in the open, practically begging to be kissed.

And no matter how much he tried to deny that Jay wouldn't have wanted that, he always felt like something was dragging him forward. Like Jay had some sort of gravitational force-type power that pulled him closer. It wasn't his fault he couldn't defy the laws of gravity. Maybe he'd have to make time to ask Jake about that later.

So here he was, his sleeping bag abandoned long ago as he strolled around the almost empty campsite. It looked uncanny in the way that anyone would agree that the fact that their stuff was the only things there looked strange. But not otherworldly just weird. That was all.

His brain blanked out as it usually did when no one was looking at him. He poked his tongue at the inside of his cheek while he stared straight ahead. At maybe the face of the earth. He didn't know, he wasn't paying attention.

Soon enough he'd been graced by the wonderful presence of another restless person he hadn't expected at all. "Sunghoon?" His voice reached an unfamiliar high.

"Hm?" His face hardened at the sight of the shameless boy before him.

Sunghoon approached the older, still feeling highly strung off the events from earlier remained unspeaking. Even though he could feel the smaller boy's slightly shaking under his fingertips. He leaned down closely, hearing the stammering of the older.

"S-Sunghoon w-what are you d-d-doing?" Practically shivering under him, he almost sounded cold.

Sunghoon carelessly flicked the side of Jay's windbreaker, taking note that the shorter boy had closed his eyes. He couldn't tell what Jay expected from him. But to act this fearful should be a crime. He genuinely looked like Sunghoon was ready to attack him. He was highly offended by this.

"There was a bug, don't move so much next time." He whispered into Jay's ear, with all the seriousness in the world. Knowing himself he knew if he stared too long Jay's eyes wouldn't be squeezed so tightly anymore. And he wouldn't be able to look away.

"Th-thank you." Jay said, his delicate voice sounding angelic to Sunghoon's ears.

For only a moment he could imagine it. Then it became real, his eyes shot open and when Jay's eyelids fluttered open he wanted to forget all that. He wanted to drown in all that was Jay. His musky scent, pretty sepia eyes that shone brightly under the moonlight, and finally press his lips against Jay's unsmiling pink lips. Take away that previous unease that ate away at Jay. And finally, meet each other as one.

But life enjoyed toying with him. He saw the irritating pattern that life found entertaining. He'd wish deeply for something, it'd hang in front of him. Waiting for him to reach out towards it. Then be taken away from him when his fingers lightly grazed right past it.

That was why something had to interrupt them. All the while Sunghoon wanted to get dizzy in all of Jay, and he was pretty sure Jay wanted to do the same as he still hadn't looked away. It was like a staring contest, to prove to the stars that they wanted to gaze into each other's eyes longer than they'd want to look up.

The sound of the branches being stepped around was enough for Jay to fearfully jump into Sunghoon's arms, and the taller to hug him back tightly. A wobbling human emerged from the dark eerie part of the woods. And Jay and Sunghoon held onto each other tighter both fearing for their lives but still wanting to be protective at the same time.

"Ah good, you two are up." The voice of their manager soothed them immediately.

"What are you doing here now?" Jay questioned curiously.

Even as Sunghoon became hyper-aware that they hadn't needed to hold onto each other so tightly he couldn't untangle their limbs. Jay still clutched onto him, a death grip, not wanting to let go.

"You guys are being picked up."

"Now?!" Both Parks shouted in sync.

"Yes, now. I'm sorry about the messed up schedule but you guys need to be home so we can keep track of you." The older man rubbed his temples stressfully.

They understood he was just doing his job. He couldn't handle a lot of the things that were thrown his way. But the group still appreciated him very much. They knew he wouldn't want them under surveillance but he wanted to take it as a form of protection even if it were more of a lack of privacy than he'd want to admit.

Sunghoon attempted to disentangle his limbs from Jay who still didn't want to let go. But he made his struggle more obvious, causing Jay to become blatantly aware of his movement.

"O-oh sorry." He released his death grip on Sunghoon, and the younger felt himself sigh at the clear disdain in his voice.

They made eye contact before they had to walk away from each other, a mistake on Sunghoon's part. Since the younger had to see the disheartened look on Jay's face. It made him frown, and confusion bloom in his heart.

Why the hell could he look that way? So sad. Like Sunghoon was the one treating him mean? Sunghoon hadn't done anything wrong. He was only responding the way he should've. Jay started this with the embarrassing incident he put him through earlier. So he simply felt inclined to make Jay feel karma.

Yet all at the same time, he felt dissatisfaction settle in his bones. Not even a tad bit fine with the feelings Jay had unintentionally instilled within him.

He stalked off, with no means of returning to the older's warm inviting arms. Although he knew deep down he wanted to, more than anything.

Finding the tents others' were in he opened up the door flap to wake them up.

"Guys, you need to get up."

"What? I don't want to." Ni-Ki rubbed at his eyes as he sunk his head back into the crane of Jake's neck.

"Oh sorry, was I interrupting something?" Sunghoon asked sarcastically, it was delivered dryly as his serious face.

Jake sensed his best friend's distress, "Sunghoon, what's going on?" He hoped to get the cranky boy to open up.

"Look guys it's not me. Our manager came to pick us up." Sunghoon rolled his eyes, already wanting this conversation to end.

"Now?!" Ni-Ki and Jake questioned together.

"Yes, now! Now move your lazy asses!" He answered, a grumpy frown settling on his face as he left.

Jake knew there was something up with Sunghoon. He wasn't the type to get cranky over having to get up in the morning. He'd have to talk to him to figure it out though.

"Sunoo, bud, you need to wake up." Jay shook the younger boy awake

"Ah, it's morning already?" Sunoo's croaky voice still sounding heavenly even in the morning.

"Not really, I mean it's three in the morning, if you want it to count." Jay shrugged, chuckling at his lame joke, and Sunoo who shook his head as he sunk into his sleeping bag even more.

"Jay-hyung, it's waaay too early to be making those jokes." Sunoo groaned, scratching his blonde messy hair.

"Hey, Sunoo."

"Mhm?" Sunoo hummed.

"Where's Jungwon and Heeseung?" Jay asked.

"Oh, I think Jungwon was sleeping with Sunghoon and Heeseung had a whole tent to himself." The younger replied.

"Ok, got it. Let's go Sunoo." Jay waved him up.

"Carry me?" His grabby hands rose towards the older.

"Sunoo- no." Jay and Sunoo laughed and the younger rubbed the remaining sleep from his eyes.

The rest of them met up where they first entered the campsite. Much to their distaste as not all of them had woken up properly. And to their confusion, Jay was wide awake. Definitely not something they'd expected.

"We don't need to pack the things right?" Heeseung ruffled his hair.

"Obviously not." Sunghoon's swift eyeroll went unseen.

"Ok, so apparently there's only one car right now, so there's about four spaces." Jungwon cleared up the news he heard from the manager. "He tried to text me earlier about this, but I put my phone on silent."

Everyone groaned after hearing that and knowing they could've been home forever ago.

Sunghoon dropped down to the floor.
"I'll stay." He settled.

Everyone stared at him in confusion.

"What? You guys should be thanking me for doing this." Sunghoon said.

"Well, I'll join you!" Jay chose for himself.

"I-" Sunghoon immediately wanted to make an excuse as to why he couldn't, but someone beat him to it.

"No." Ni-Ki snorted.

"That's a terrible idea, Jay-hyung. You hate bugs and we're still in their home." Jake expounded, still using his 'nature boy' terminology, No-Ki pointed out.

"True. That means I should probably stay."

"Heeseung-hyung, you're a big scaredy cat too. I'll stay." Ni-Ki volunteered, causing Jake to tease him once more.

"Oh, Ni-Ki! You're so cool!"

"Five can come, it's a van." Jungwon informed them, after receiving a new message from their manager.

"Oh thank goodness! I didn't wanna stay behind!" Heeseung ran over hugging Jay.

"Stay safe Jake-hyung and Sunghoon-hyung." Sunoo hugged the two tightly, before waving goodbye.

"Ok, so now that we're alone. Tell me what's wrong." Jake sat criss-cross on the grass as they looked up at the moonlit sky.

"What are you talking about? I'm fine." Sunghoon forced a laugh that came out rather bitter.

"Oh my gosh, no you aren't. I can see it in your eyes. Your attitude gives it all away. Sunghoon this is clearly taking a toll on you, so whatever it is, I won't judge you. Please just talk to me." Jake patted his back, as he expressed his concern.

Sunghoon huffed out a breath looking down and away from Jake's pleading gaze. "I don't-I can't tell you, Jake... I don't know how to word it." He bit his lip, still unsure.

"Just explain the best way you can." Jake's reassuring tone was comforting.

Just like he'd expect from his best friend. Jake knew him like he knew the back of his hand. Or better. Jake knew everything about him and always had his back. Sunghoon trusted the guy with his life. So being vulnerable and actually communicating with the older is such an easy thing to do.

"Ok, then. Well, I have this problem, that I want something from-no that doesn't sound right. Wait let me start over."

Jake nodded, waiting patiently.

Sunghoon created a scenario. "Alright, so pretend we aren't friends. But I want to be your friend. And, I want to tell you that. But I don't know how."

"So you're scared I won't want to be your friend?" Jake caught onto the drift, hoping he'd be of consolation to the younger.

"No, no... it's, it's just me being a coward." Sunghoon hid himself under his hoodie and his head into his tucked knees.

"No! Come on, dig deeper! You aren't a coward, you're just choosing to give up on me that easily?" Jake exclaimed, reaching for his best friend's hoodie he pulled it off revealing Sunghoon's scruffy hair.

He fixed his hair, a pout on his face when he knew he had to explain further. "No... I..." He exhaled readying himself. "I guess I'm just not ready for that change yet. Maybe I'm a little scared, we'll both change and... I don't know." He shrugged, feeling as if the ground under him could swallow him whole and he would not care. He just felt so lost in the moment. The moment he finally pinpointed the real issue. What made it so hard to actually close the distance? What really made him deny love in the first place?

Resting his head into his palms, he as reality all sunk in he sighed heavily. "I don't know what's gonna happen, I'm already changing and I can't stop it. I guess I just don't know how to deal with that."

"Sunghoon, you're already dealing with it." Jake's hands pried Sunghoon's dainty fingers from his porcelain face.

"What? How?" Sunghoon's eyes narrowed.

"By asking your bestest friend for advice!" Jake chuckled light-heartedly, pointing at himself with his trusty thumbs. "Look, you just need to talk to... this person! And tell them what you told me-well maybe not all of it. But tell them how you feel."

Jake grabbed ahold of his shoulders and gave him a friendly rub on his arm. "Sunghoon, once you do it you'll see that the anxiety only lasts a moment, the outcome lasts forever though."

He needed to keep that part in mind. And he was pretty sure that Jake's words of wisdom would be well kept in mind.

Sunghoon smiled at his best friend who smiled right back. They hugged each other. No exchange of words were needed anymore, as Jake knew Sunghoon needed a calming silence. He craved it, and of course, Jake felt that.

Because no one knew him better than Jake.

🖤🤍

Jay knocked on Sunghoon's bed frame, the sound waking the light sleeper quickly upsetting him. Strange sight for Jay to see. Never mind that, his one and only so mad so often. It was usually quite obvious as to why he could be mad. But this time around Jay felt he wasn't clued in as to what was going on at all.

But really who could?

Sunghoon was unpredictable. He knew him well but he wasn't a mind reader. He was more used to Sunghoon's emotional stability being a tea kettle boiling over. But this time around was one of those rare times where he avoided the issue at hand. Hiding it from anyone he could for as long as he could. And Jay swore Sunghoon still held secrets from even Jake till this day.

But from Sunghoon's viewpoint he tried to be understanding. Patient. Not always in the best ways, but he tried. And he hoped his efforts did something. Anything. But to no avail would the younger crack. Under no circumstance nor pressure. That was how he knew it was serious. More serious than what the naked eye may detect.

So he then thought, maybe he was going about this all wrong. Suppose he got Sunghoon alone. Spoke to him then. Because he knew for a fact, that this secret involved him. He had a pretty good feeling. And he chose to stick with that gut feeling.

Sunghoon left the bedroom to follow Jay into the living area. It was empty and still dark out, with no light except for the single one in the kitchen. It looked enough for the nearby rooms and nowhere farther.

Sunghoon had a one-track mind, and it was to finish this endless chase. To cut this heavy tension hanging over them. To break this unspoken rule. And to finally get what he deserves because even if their relationship is a secret and just a test, Jay was still his. In some form at least.

Sunghoon needed to speak to him.

"Jay... why did you wake me up-y'know what don't answer that." Sunghoon shook it off, now wide awake and still feeling shameless. Good. "Sit down for a second, ok?"

"Alright?" Jay's eyebrows knitted together.

"Why won't you kiss me?" Sunghoon deadpanned as if he hadn't just asked something otherworldly.

"Huh?" Jay was stunned by Sunghoon's blatant carelessness.

"Kiss me- actually never mind that." Sunghoon dropped down next to him on the couch, picking his next words not so carefully. "Can I kiss you?"

Jay chuckled sheepishly, a nervous jerk of a comment came out of him. "I would love that, but you don't have to force yourself." He abashedly looked down.

Sunghoon quickly grabbed the back of Jay's head pushing him closer. "Oh trust me, there's nothing I want more." Sunghoon closed the gap, shocking Jay into a frozen state.

Jay's eyes blown out in shock at the sudden action, but taking advantage of that for some reason Sunghoon wanted to indulge in him he deepened the kiss. Sunghoon hummed contentedly as he felt Jay's lips move against his.

Separating Sunghoon let a, "Fucking Finally!" He groaned, shutting his eyes as if he accomplished the biggest conquest of his life. Well in a way he kinda was.

Jay still wasn't filled in at all, as he was trying to uncover the mysteries the younger hid. "S-Sunghoon I'm... I'm confused. What the hell just happened." Jay tried to make sense of it all, but nothing clicked.

"I've been wanting to do that for forever!" Sunghoon whined.

"What? There's no way." Jay said.

"I can't fucking believe it. So you didn't notice?" The younger gasped.

"I thought I was hallucinating, I swear Sunghoon." Jay pleaded, already feeling guilty and stupid as hell.

He let so many chances slide. Too many, all because he was afraid he wasn't reading the signs right. But then again, he wasn't quite sure how many moments slipped past him.

"Aish."

"Sunghoon." Jay deadpanned. "How long?"

Not wanting to answer he lazily replied. "Since, I don't know the stupid board game."

"Are you fucking serious?" Jay sounded like he was just about to scold him, but he couldn't help to stop him.

"I should be saying that to you!" Sunghoon bolted forward in his seat, quick to correct the older.

"What?" Jay tested. "Do you like me?"

Sunghoon leaned back in his spot, sulking as he shied away. "Isn't it obvious-"

"Answer the question, come on. I confessed, it's only fair." He requested honestly.

Jay was right, Sunghoon seriously owed him this much at least. He made them go through all this hassle.

"...Yes. I feel like at first, I didn't really care, but then I guess I saw you differently. And you're like the only person who makes me feel so much. I felt like I was going crazy, and that was just over one kiss!" Sunghoon's cheeks flared up an undeniable shade of crimson.

He hated being under the wrong spotlight. The one meant to embarrass him. He'd never put himself in a position that would purposely cause him shame of any sort. But for Jay, he'd truly do anything. Even admit something that made him flush so deeply.

"Sunghoon?" Jay's emotionless voice scared him a bit.

"Hm?"

"D'you want a second one to feel less crazy?" Jay raised a brow.

"Oh god yes!" Sunghoon laughed before Jay grabbed him by the chin and sealed the deal.

A/N ack this was supposed to be posted yesterday! So sorry if it's a bit rushed!

But to the people who read this thank you so much! I hope you liked reading this as much as I enjoyed writing it!

I love reading your guys comments whenever you do, they really support me! 🤍🖤🤍🖤