Clementine knew that Beth was definitely holding something in. A nervous energy seemed to surround her every move, but something that was part of that was that Beth seemed sad. Not the regular sad she usually had, but a resigned, defeated sort of sad. It wasn't any worse than what she had been experiencing throughout the past few weeks, but it still seemed to take a toll on her.
Clementine kept her distance, as promised, but it sincerely pained her to do so. She missed the times when she could tell Elizabeth everything. Where they could laugh together and cry together. It all went so wrong.
But as time went on, and the more the two of them spent time in each other's presence, Beth warmed up to her. Showing her kindness, speaking to her more, opening up more. Clementine trusted that Beth knew how she was feeling and trusted that Beth was pushing her own comfort zone.
But the end of the school year was coming up fast. Exams were around the corner and that caused Beth and Clementine to spend the majority of their time in the library with their noses buried in books. Clementine's wrist perpetually aches during this time, but the stress and the idea of what her mother would do if she failed motivated her enough to keep going. Studying seemed to come easy to Beth, as did everything else academics did. Beth was smart, and she knew it, which is why she rarely put in more effort than needed for anything.
But Beth also seemed preoccupied, her mind focused on studying for the end of the year. Clementine knew that Beth probably had trouble the last few weeks with assignments and was using this time to catch up.
All while this time passed, with a rush of papers and study guides, Beth walked around carrying a weight on her shoulder. Clementine noticed it almost instantly, but she never asked out of fear of overstepping boundaries. But it always worried her to see Beth's leg bouncing with nervous energy under the table, or the sight of heavily chewed nails. Clementine feared that things at home were worse than Beth had described, but she shook off her fear because that was the easiest thing to accept at the time.
As final exams came and went for most classes, and the pressure started to ease up on everyone, school events started to come up as well. Things like graduation and prom for the seniors. But, Clementine figured her school wanted to make the most out of cheap, student-funded parties as much as they could, so they also had a party for the underclassmen every year as well. While Clementine wasn't a senior, that didn't mean she wanted to go to the underclassmen party either. Parties in general were not Clementine's favorite thing. Way too loud and crowded with people.
But when Olivia begged her to come just for a little while, Clementine eventually caved. As well as pressure from her mother as well because Clementine refused to attend homecoming in the first semester because she embarrassed herself her freshman year, last year when she embodied the words "Christian Youth Group". Clementine's mother was a stickler for the memories of attending events like homecoming, while Clementine didn't really care for it. She had plenty of memories, more she would like to forget than remember.
Upon mentioning this to Beth, Beth surprised her completely by offering to come as well. Clementine didn't want to make Beth feel pressured into making a decision, but looking into her eyes made her forget what she was worried about. Clementine figured it was one of Beth's better days, where she was feeling more lively and energetic. Clementine didn't want Beth to feel pressured into anything, so she let that offer stay in the air until the week of the party.
Clementine's mother just about dragged her around town trying to find a dress, in which Clementine couldn't have been more disinterested. Clementine liked to put effort into her appearance in order to express herself, however, dress shopping for a dumb high school dance wasn't something Clementine wanted to spend her Saturday doing.
After a lot of arguing, pushing, and pulling from both sides, Clementine got to choose the dress she wanted. A dress that reached just below her knees and was a periwinkle color that complemented Clementine's skin. It was easy to move around in and that was all that Clementine wanted.
On Beth's side, she heard silence. There was no attempt at making plans if Beth was to be coming with Clementine. Beth responded with mute disinterest, which made Clementine feel doubtful of her own feelings about the dance. It really didn't matter that much, so why did Clementine care so much? She never cared about it before and she wasn't sure why it mattered now. Clementine did know, but she didn't want to admit it. It would most likely complicate things.
Of course, her mother made her go, but Beth made her want to go. For the first time in weeks, they would hang out in a place that was gloomy or sad in some way. Clementine hoped it would bring light and joy into Beth's life, but looking at Beth's blank expression whenever it was discussed worried her.
Nonetheless, time moved on as usual. Clementine saw Olivia and Mika every day, who she had become close to in a short time as she had with Beth. She also saw Anne, who looked at Clementine with strange intensity, and then averted her eyes to the floor and walked away. Clementine figured it would be a waste of time and energy to worry about it.
Nearing the last few weeks and days of school was always a strange feeling for Clementine. There was always strange energy that hung in the air, plans about summer not so subtly whispered to one another, while others signed themselves on for summer school or a job. Those people were significantly less ecstatic about the break.
Beth had kept her promise to come right to the day, even arriving early at Clementine's house to get ready. Clementine figured that Beth wouldn't be a dress person, as Beth believed that if you wear anything, you best be prepared for anything too. But she surprised Clementine with a light blue dress that swept just below her calf and wrapped around her arms comfortably. Yet Clementine found it amusing how Beth refused to wear high heels because Beth said that it would get in the way of running if someone wanted to chase her down. Clementine couldn't deny she was right.
"You're very pretty, you know," Beth said suddenly. Clementine was standing in front of her mirror, fixing her hair and makeup, putting her earrings in her ears. The comment caught Clementine off guard completely, and she could feel the heat rising in her face.
Clementine nodded, trying to act nonchalant, "Yeah, thanks," She responded, mentally kicking herself for answering in such a deadpan tone.
Clementine was not facing Beth, but she could hear the smirk on her face, Beth missed almost nothing, "But I'm being serious, Clem," Beth said in a teasing voice, emphasis on the nickname.
"Don't start messin with me, Olivia and Mika are gonna be here soon."
"Oh yeah, those guys. Never spoken a word to them before."
"I think you'll like them, you guys seem like you would get along well. By the way, did you invite anyone?"
There was hesitation on Beth's side, seemingly like she was afraid to tell Clementine, which Clementine didn't understand. Finally, she sighed, taking her hand off of the back of her neck, "Yeah, I invited one of my friends from middle school. Minnie."
Clementine knew the Minnie she was speaking about. Minnie was the name that stuck out in Clementine's mind. She was the one who never antagonized Beth in middle school. She was the one who wasn't like the others. When Beth spoke about her, her tone always tried to cover up something hidden beneath the surface. Either the past grudge still taking hold, or the love of an old friend she couldn't seem to let go of. Clementine wondered what it was that made them change their opinion about each other
Regardless, they were friends now and it wasn't Clementine's place to worry about it.
The rest of the time it took to get ready was a blur. Olivia and Mika arrived and there wasn't much time for Clementine to think before she was being pulled into the car. Beth mentioned they would meet Minnie in front of the school. Clementine couldn't help feeling nervous, despite not knowing why. She assumed it was because she hadn't been to one of those stupid school parties in so long. Clementine never much liked crowds, although she spent most of her time in high school trying to fit into one.
She smoothed the dress over her knees, continuing to jitter until Beth physically grabbed her hand and held it. Clementine always admired Beth's hands, long fingers, yet a strong and sturdy hand that calmed Clementine upon being touched. It was no wonder why Beth disliked the summer and the heat so much, it was because she was always perpetually warm. It wasn't long until their hands were sweaty.
Olivia and Mika talked in hushed voices to avoid being heard by Clementine's mom, who was driving them all. Clementine always heard about people taking limos to things like prom and such, which Clementine couldn't understand at all. There was no point to it, it was a school party, nothing more. Her mom was a good enough limo, she got them there at least.
As expected, there were quite a few people there. Clementine felt herself get tense but continued moving forward when Beth seemed unaffected.
"What kind of things do you think they're gonna have?" Olivia wondered aloud. One of her hands by her side was reaching for Mika, who had fallen behind in the group.
Beth smirked, yet didn't turn around to look at Olivia, "It's a school dance, I don't think they are gonna have anything special," Beth responded, then spotting Minnie in the distance, "I'm gonna go get her, you guys get checked in," She said.
Clementine watched as Beth walked away to Minnie. Mika and Olivia continued on, but Clementine continued to stare as they interacted. Beth had a carefree smile on her face, a comfortable one when she greeted Minnie, who had the exact same look on her face. Clementine felt a pit in her stomach, but it was not her time to worry about Beth's business. Clementine caught up with Mika and Olivia, who was deep in conversation about the way that toilet paper should be placed.
Olivia was declaring that toilet paper had to be placed closest to the wall, while Mika argued that it should be placed away from the wall. Clementine smiled at her friend's antics, as she also knew that the only correct way to place toilet paper was away from the wall.
Getting into the dance took longer than expected. Clementine was already tired and wanted to go home as soon as they got into the dance, even more so upon seeing the crowds of people, but Mika and Olivia pulled her along to the dance floor. Large crowds of people danced to music that Clementine had heard on the radio, and as Clementine got pulled into the crowd atmosphere, she felt herself get more carefree. Soon enough, it led to Clementine dancing on a table with several other girls, all of which were aggressively complimenting each other.
Beth eventually found her, with Minnie right behind her, "You look like you're having fun," Beth said with a sweet smile. The gesture made Clementine smile right back.
"I am! You should join me," Clementine offered, trying to get alone time with beth. Beth waved her hand, looking over at Minnie, who shrugged in response. Minnie was a pretty girl, Clementine had to admit. Brown hair that reached past her shoulders, thin hazel eyes, and freckles that clashed with the rest of her skin made her stand out in a crowd.
Minnie stuck her hand out to shake Clementine's hand, only sort of awkwardly, "Hi, I'm Minnie. I'm Beth's friend. She talks about you a lot, so it's nice to finally meet you," Clementine took Minnie's hand, which was surprisingly warm.
"Can we get food now?" Beth asked.
They found Olivia and Mika, who were stuck between two groups of people and moved to a less populated place. The atmosphere relaxed, and the conversation started to flow in the group. But Clementine was quiet, letting her mind wander. Clementine hated parties, people got very stupid at them, meaning she did too. It also had to do with the fact that every time she had gone to a party something had gone wrong. Either she embarrassed herself, or left feeling hurt and depressed. Clementine didn't want it to happen again.
Clementine slipped her hand into Beth's, who flinched for a moment before joining their fingers together. Clementine's face burned, mostly because she missed being so comfortable around her and she was slightly freaking out. The touch was nice, and judging by the pinkness of Beth's cheeks, she also thought so too.
Through the crowds of people, Clementine noticed Ezekiel standing with his usual group of people. Adrian was close by his side as he usually was, their hands joined together. They all looked happy, with wide smiles on their faces, and Clementine was reminded of the times they spent together. When there were times when she was there with her own wide smile. More easy and carefree times.
Just after the disaster of last year, she would have said that she would trade anything to be back there with them. But Clementine looks at them now, and she sees what she used to be, and what it led to her becoming. She didn't want to trade her new friends, she wanted to make new memories and move on.
Clementine waved to Ezekiel, who responded by waving back. It caused a ripple effect, in which everyone in the group waved to Clementine.
After getting food and then Mika subsequently dropping it on the floor, all of them went to a table and sat down, talking amongst themselves. Clementine tried to join in every so often, but she noticed that Minnie and Olivia didn't need any help trying to get a conversation going, they already did well enough by trying to pick fights with one another.
So Beth and Clementine decided it would be best if they got popcorn five minutes into a discussion about 19th-century literature.
"You would think they would find better things to argue about," Beth muttered, hands intertwined behind her back.
Clementine shrugged, she didn't have much to say. The crowds of people were starting to thin out as most people started to wander around or go home early, so they were able to get a place in line behind only 2 or so people. Clementine felt immense awkwardness at the silence between them, as Beth only stared forward and never attempted conversation or eye contact. Clementine tried to look anywhere else, but to her luck, Celine was way too close by for her comfort. If anything, Clementine wanted Celine to be across the world from her.
Clementine tried to listen to anything, which also happened to be the very loud conversation two girls were having in front of them, "Did you hear about Anne?" One of them said, clearly gesturing with her in the direction of Celine's group, and the other gave a confused glance in the direction her friend gestured, "Well I heard she fought this one other girl who apparently talked shit about her behind her back and made up lies about her."
"No way, Anne fighting? That can't be true. Who was it?" The other girl asked.
"I heard it was-"
Clementine was cut off from the rest of the conversation by Beth pulling her away. Entirely confused, she let herself be pulled away. Which was a shame because she was really interested in hearing the next part of the conversation.
Beth led her to a more secluded area, hidden underneath the cover of a tree. Clementine saw that Beth looked slightly panicked. Beth looked around her nervously, as if she was afraid of someone hearing her, "I'm sorry for grabbing you," She said, "But I've been keeping a secret from you and I think it's time you should know."
"Okay?" Clementine replied.
Beth took a deep breath, exhaled, and looked Clementine in the eyes. She then proceeded to tell Clementine everything. Celine and what she did to Anne, to Clementine. All the lies she made up, spreading rumors about Clementine, and then blaming it on Anne. Everything was traced back to Celine.
It all made sense then. And everything Clementine thought she knew was shattered and her confusion was replaced by overwhelming rage.