Jesse answered my question a few hours after I asked. Nakatanaw ako sa labas ng bintana sa kwarto ko, too invested in my musings to even get settled into bed, and that's when I saw it. A yellow butterfly circling around the window pane.
I closed my eyes and breathed heavily. Thank you, Bok.
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Finally settling to Malacañang took longer than I expected. Hindi lang ayun pero mas nakakapagod pala. Still, masaya akong nandito ako ngayon, hindi lang dahil panalo ako pero dahil mas marami na ang magagawa ko para makatulong.
The day after we settled, I put the first executive order out as I have promised. Ang daming nabunyag kaya marami ring inasikaso. We started to mobilize the effective pandemic response the previous administration should've done noong umpisa pa lang.
I haven't seen Risa in at least 6 months. Naging busy rin kasi siya with the Senate. We texted occasionally, asking each other kung kumusta na ba kami and such. I treasured those small moments with her.
But now that the topic on divorce has been brought up after recent developments, I received a lot of criticism for my stance. Of course, well-accepted naman 'yun kasi trabaho kong pakinggan ang puna at hinaing ng taumbayan. And I knew no one else could help me form a decision regarding this issue than the principal author of the divorce bill herself, Senator Risa Hontiveros.
I set an appointment with her a week before para walang sagabal sa meeting namin. I want my time with her to be our time alone. Hindi lang dahil we'll be discussing an important matter pero dahil rin gusto ko siyang makita at makasama ulit.
Nasa condo ako ngayon kasi it's a Sunday and my girls and I treat the weekends as a time to return to the normalcy we once had.
Bukas, it's back to Malacañang for me again.
"Mama, may bibigay ako sa'yo." Jillian approached me sa couch and laid her head on my lap.
"Ikaw lang, Jill? Eh galing 'yan sa'ting tatlo." Tricia said as she stepped down the stairs.
"Ano ba 'yang ibibigay niyo sa akin?" I asked before they start bickering again.
Jillian handed me a lipstick. Kinuha ko sa kanya and noticed that it was darker than the usual colors I wore. Actually it was much darker kasi it was burgundy, like the shade of red wine.
"Ang dark nito. Kailan pa ako nag-dark lipstick?" I asked my children.
Lumabas si Aika from the bathroom and she replied,"Ma, for a change lang kaya naisip ka namin bigyan nyan. 'Lam mo 'yun para mas matapang lang 'yung look."
"True! Para fierce naman diba?" Jillian replied.
"Diba kasi sabi nila change is coming daw." Sabi naman ni Tricia.
We laughed at her remark, immediately getting the reference sa tagline ng former president.
"Jokes aside, Ma, you don't have to wear it all the time. Para lang when you want to look intimidating ganern. Try mo isuot tomorrow." Aika assured me.
"Okay. Thank you, mga anak. Ang sweet niyo naman." I replied, adoringly. Swerte ko lang talaga sa mga batang 'to.
We spent the rest of the night savoring the rest of the hours we had together bago kami bumalik sa mga trabaho namin.
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My meeting with Risa is today. At isang understatement kapag sinabi kong kinakabahan ako. What has changed with Risa and I over the past months? Wala, pero ito ako, nababaliw na kasi hindi ko alam kung kabag ba 'to or excited lang talaga ako.
Following Aika's suggestion, I wore the new lipstick today, much to my staff's shock.
"OMG, Pres. Bagay sa'yo 'yang ganyang color!"
"Hmm pak palaban rawr."
Tinawanan ko lang sila, feeling flattered. Buong araw nilang pinapansin 'yung lipstick ko kasi hindi rin naman nila inexpect na mag-gaganito ako ever.
Throughout the day rin, I tried to shove the thought of Risa to the back of my mind. But I failed kasi everytime na matatapos ako sa isang task, matutulala ako and I'd feel that nervousness. Pero natapos ko naman lahat ng kailangan tapusin and i-meet ang mga dapat i-meet before my scheduled appointment with her.
She's coming in my door anytime now and I feel my throat go dry. Uminom ako ng tubig from the tumbler on my desk na regalo ng isang supporter during the campaign period and that's when my staff knocked on the door, announcing that Risa's here.
Muntik na ako malaglag sa upuan ko sa sobrang kaba. Ano ba 'to, Leni. Kumalma ka nga.
"Good afternoon, Leni." She bid, moving closer to me para bumeso and I felt butterflies in my stomach. I was intoxicated with the smell of the shampoo in her hair and her perfume. "Hello, Risa."
She looked beautiful. Her hair was shorter, ending just above her shoulder and she wore a sleeveless white dress. Nothing's changed with her. In fact, mas gumanda pa nga siya.
My eyes caught sight of the pink leatherband that remained on her wrist at napangiti ako. Consistency truly is Risa's forte.
I inhaled sharply, calming myself down. After a few minutes of catching up, I shifted to work mode and we got right down to business. She asked me to explain my stance in a more detailed manner so I did. In response, hinimay niya isa-isa sa sinabi ko and argued her stances na pro-divorce.
We even listed the pros and cons and I took notes to review for later.
"You don't have to decide agad-agad. Weigh the pros and cons. Decide for the people." She assured me and I smiled kindly in return, thanking her for being open sa discussion na 'to.
Tinignan ko ulit 'yung notes ko as we sat in silence, marking the most important details I saw. Every now and then, I spared Risa a glance. Lumilibot lang 'yung mata niya sa office observing and pondering in her own thoughts.
I felt her eyes on me kaya tinignan ko kung anong ginagawa niya. Her eyes shifted from me, to the tumbler on my desk, to me again. I felt insecurity creep up on me. May dumi ba sa mukha ko? Is my lipstick too dark? Ano meron sa tumbler?
She's been here for hours at pakiramdam ko parang konti na lang mababaliw na ako.
"Risa, are you okay?"
"Ha?" Ayun, Leni lutang sabi nila pero ngayong araw dapat Risa lutang.
"Sabi ko okay ka lang ba? Baka matunaw na ako kakatitig mo dyan." I replied, giving her a playful smile. Namula siya bigla. Ang cute bakit gano'n.
"Sorry, di ko sadya, naninibago lang."
"Sa akin?"
"Sa lipstick mo, lalong fierce look."
I laughed, remembering my staff's comments earlier. She changed the topic, asking about the tumbler na kanina pa niya tinitignan. I promised to give her one kasi marami pa nyan sa bahay.
I could still feel her staring at me. Specifically, sa labi ko. And mind you, she wasn't just staring simply. Titig na titig siya. Maybe I should wear this lipstick more often. Tinuloy ko 'yung pag-go over sa notes ko, trying so hard to not stare back at her. We got back to work afterwards.
"Thank you talaga for being here and talking to me about this."
"Anytime, Leni. You know you can count on me naman. I truly hope you reconsider your stance. If hindi, alam mo na kung sino'ng first na mang-aaway sa'yo. Promise me you'll think about it?"
"Expected ko naman na. And don't worry, promise ko 'yan sa'yo." We laughed at hinatid ko na siya palabas ng office.
"I'll see you soon, Leni. Take care!" She bid good bye but not before kissing my cheek with hers.
I watched Risa walk away and closed the door, leaning my back on it. Hindi ko na napigilang mapangiti.
Ang tagal ko siyang hindi nakita but my feelings for her are still strong as ever. Though we've only spent a few hours together, I knew I'd think about her for days.
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Welcome back to the Lipstick Stains timeline 🥳