Amy Bloom
I had a sister once. She used to be kind and I'm not sure what went wrong in our relationship, but she became a completely different person.
I used to do everything for her. I'd drive hours to pick her up from places she wasn't supposed to be at. I always defended her if our parents were yelling at us. I'd lie for her. I helped her when she was applying to jobs, even going as far as writing her entire cover letter. I did so much for her and it was all because my parents expected me to, not because I actually cared about her. And now I regret it all and resent her. But how do you resent someone who is dead?
They expected me to love her and all she did was use me. She expected me to trust her and then she did something unforgivable. Something I, oftentimes, attempt to block out.
But she always wins in the end, she always gets what she wants. I kept my distance from her and she'd only ever get angrier. At one point she'd gotten diagnosed with depression, I guess she got what she wanted in the end with that too.
I'd invite her to events with my friends and she'd switch the venue to somewhere closer to her. I'd be okay with it because I wanted to make her happy, but instead she would use me like I was an old pair of shoes. And now I could see that I was just some obstacle for her service.
There was a point when I'd decided I would never trust her again. Where I would never do anything for her again.
But I'd caved so many times. When she'd found herself in jail for her crimes, I found myself waiting outside, excited to visit her. Too many times. It was about a year, maybe more, I can't remember now, when she'd been in jail for the most heinous crime. She was on death row after her trial and I'd still visit.
She was so kind when she was vulnerable, but as soon as something better came along, she'd completely drop me. She never really had friends in her life, now that I think about it.
She just had people she got close with, then would completely not be friends anymore after a single issue would arise. She'd attempted to do that with me countless times and I could never learn how to deal with her. And it made me resent her even more.
Well, she was gone now. Off the planet in a manic haze and I couldn't understand why I was upset over her death. We never got along, and yet I was always hopeful that we would someday find a common ground. But of course, it was too late now.
All of these thoughts played in my mind as Tyler drove me to only god knows where. I couldn't comprehend how he'd found me or how quickly a normal day had turned into one where I almost got kidnapped.
I tapped my finger on my knee, afraid to speak to my ex-boyfriend. I couldn't understand why Bailey was clouding at my thoughts at this moment. She wasn't even alive anymore and was still ruining my life somehow. I couldn't understand why I even cared so much about her. She never cared about me.
The air conditioning in his car felt like ice, but I didn't say anything. I was surprised he was driving a car that cost more than my whole life.
I was still stunned at what had just happened. The random men who'd attacked me in the rain, blindfolded me and ran. Zya, I believe that was one of their names. I'd write a police report when I got the chance.
I looked over at him, he'd definitely aged well. He had a well kept beard growing now, covering a firm jaw. It was clear he had been working out over the years. His brown eyes looked strained and stressed as he kept them on the road. It was cloudy and the windshield wipers sliced at the water every few seconds.
It began to pour, the rain suffocating the car and I wondered if he could even feel the cold air anymore.
"Do..." I tried to say, my voice coming out raspier than I'd intended. My mouth was so dry. I found myself picking at my fingernails, the skin slowly peeling as I tried to figure out what to say.
"Hmm?" Tyler asked, his focus on me for a moment. My mind was blank.
What just happened? I wanted to ask, but my mouth wouldn't form words and my throat couldn't push air out.
I wished he would say something, but instead, he turned on the radio as soft music played in the background of our rain-covered drive.
I had a million questions, but none that I could articulate.
"How are you feeling?" Tyler asked, his brown gaze turned to me quickly as the empty road dragged on.
"I..." it felt surreal to even be in the car with him, I wondered how he was doing now.
"I'm glad I got there in time," he muttered, "and I'm glad you're safe."
My heart skipped a couple beats as I felt my cheeks finally heat up. Finally, an emotion I could feel and recognize. I bit my lip.
"Thank you." I finally said, my voice was too high. "Um... how are you?"
This conversation felt too forced. I ripped the skin off my fingernail as it began to bleed.
"There's a bandaid in here." He gestures to the glovebox of his car and I silently reached for it, wondering what else he'd noticed about me.
"Thanks." I muttered, it seemed to be the only word I knew lately. We hadn't actually spoken since Bailey's trial years ago, it felt weird to be talking to him again.
"Where are we going?" I asked after I covered my finger with the bandaid.
"My house." He said.
"Why?" I raised an eyebrow, wondering if he was simply being friendly or if he was going to take a prize for being my hero today. "Who were those guys anyway?"
"Don't worry about it, you're okay now." He said and I rolled my eyes, same old uncommunicative Tyler. Back when we had dated, he had never known how to express himself. I recall once he'd kicked me out of his home in the middle of the night and was surprised that I was angry at him afterwards. I groaned, some people never change. "Actually," he continued on and I raised an eyebrow.
"What?" I crossed my arms and he glanced at me once again.
"There's someone I want you to meet. I think you'll get along with her." Tyler said and I wondered what was even happening and why I needed to meet this person.
"Who?"
"Someone special." He said and I pursed my lips.
"Don't pout Aimes," he said. My heart stuttered at the sound of that nickname. Nobody had called me that in years. It used to be what Aaron called me. Aaron, I missed that goof. I wondered how he was doing. It was so long ago.
"Who am I meeting?" I asked and Tyler grew a secret smile. I looked at him like he'd had two heads. Then I realized what that look on his face indicated. He was in love. "What's her name?"
"Anya." Tyler whispered. I wondered if I imagined his cheeks turning the shade of pink that they now were, but I didn't say anything. He loved this Anya. Good for him.
"You better treat her better than you treated me." I heard myself say, immediately covering my mouth after the words came out.
Tyler laughed, "I'm really sorry for how I treated you Amy. I could've been so much better." He whispered, a genuine smile on his face as he reached for my hand and squeezed it. It only lasted a couple seconds, a friendly comforting gesture. And it was enough for me to know that he was absolutely in a committed, perfect, happy relationship with Anya.
I was happy for him, but the little tinge of jealousy that arose as I realized how single I was still surfaced. I recognized the feeling and tried to push it back down.
"It's okay Ty, I forgave you a long time ago." I sighed, feeling like a heavy weight had been lifted off my shoulder. I felt less tense in that moment and found myself enjoying the ride a little bit more than I had before.
He smiled as he exited the freeway and turned left onto a dirt road.
"Have you seen anyone from high school?" I asked, hopeful to make small talk and abolish the silence.
"Um..." he thought about it for a minute, "oh, Violet Veowsalot. She's a big-shot doctor now, dating someone doctor." Tyler said. I wondered how he'd encountered Violet. The last time I'd heard from her, she was moving across the country. Was she back in town? Would she want to see me?
Thinking of Violet made my mind transfer to Aaron. I missed him, genuinely. I wondered if he was nearby. If he was happy now. I wondered if he was okay with Violet dating someone else, he'd so clearly always loved her. I wondered if he was dating someone else now too.
"Oh, good for her." I said, but my mind focused on my curiosity now, "have you heard about Aaron?"
"Yeah, actually, Anya and I... and a few others actually need your help with... Aaron." Tyler said. I was surprised that he'd so freely said this, in the past he would never communicate anything of this sort to me.
"Is he okay? I thought you hated Aaron." I laughed, I couldn't fathom why Tyler was so serious. But he laughed when I suggested his issues with Aaron.
"He's an okay guy." Tyler muttered and I wondered if he regretted saying that, "but I'll explain everything when we get there."
"When we get to Anya?" I asked, a smile spreading on my face as I noticed Tyler blush. It was rather cute actually.
"Yes," he said, then after a pause and a soft smile, "when we get to Anya."
Helloooo!! As promised, here's a new chapter! Please vote and let me know your thoughts.
I do know that the previous chapters before this one are missing, but they will be uploaded soon! I will have more free time this summer to write so follow for updates!
Missed you all!
-V