"Erm....uh...ss...sorry..sorry--" Zubair started, a little disoriented by everything that came at him at once. A fasting brain is already short on Oxygen and glucose and a brain that woke up moments ago is even shorter... now add to that the sudden encounter with alluring doe eyes. His brain just shortcutted *Snap!
"Main woh.. aap ko NGO wali samjha thaa.." He slowly excused trying hard to look away from her face because Roza!
The woman (she seemed to be in her late twenties.. 26/27 perhaps?) rolled her eyes and pulled forward the chiffon duppata covering her head before lightly scoffing.
Zubair stared.
Wisps of soft mahogany tendrils curled around her forehead and lay against the sides of her cheeks. Her oval shaped face held two deep, dark brown eyes, a thick fringe of sooty eye lashes that brushed under her brows as they fluttered when she blinked and a long rounded nose. Her pointy chin was pushed upwards due to her distraught expression and her dehydrated lips pushed out in a small pout.
He glanced down at his crinkled Marvel SpiderMan No way Home T-shirt (he wasn't sure if it was his own or belonged to one of his nephews) and dark green cotton shorts with his hair; a birds nest on top of his head... he looked like a homeless hobo but in his defense It Was Sunday! And he wasn't expecting any company specially not such Pretty ladies!
The only ladies coming to this house were-besides family- Rishtey wali Aunty, Paros wali Aunty, NGO wali Aunty, Maagne wali or Kaam wali Aunty.. That was it.
"Kyaa kaam hai aap ko?" Then he bit his tongue because that sounded rude and the deepening frown made him sure it was, so he changed his words, "M..mera matlb hai kis se milna?"
She sighed out then raised a brow speaking swiftly, "Abdul-Hadi yahan rehta hai?"
Zubair frowned at the anger in her tone wondering how he offended her so much then shook his head, "Nhi yahan nhi rehta--"
"Ayse kaisey ho sakta hai?! Maine khud usko kal yahan gully main walk kartey dekha tha! Abdul-Hadi hi thaa!" She countered fast arching her neck as if ready for battle.
"Uh.. Ji ji Abdul-Hadi yahan hai.. Per rehta nhi-- mera matlb hai rukne ayaa hua hai yeh unki Naani kaa ghar hai." Zubair clarified confused by the woman's queries regarding his nephew.
(Kya kiya hai in logon ne?)
"Jo bhi! Mujhe unke father se milna hai." Replied the lady with conviction.
"Magr woh toh nhi hain." Zubair shook hi head.
"Toh unki Mother se milna hai!"
"Nhi woh bhi nhi hain.." He shrugged.
"Uff! Kyaa matlb? Uskey Ammi Abu nhi haiin??!" She was furious and frustrated.
"Uh.. Aarey nhi khuda naa khuwasta Asyi baat nhi haii!! Matlb ghar pe nhi hain abhi, sab shopping karne gaye hain. Aftaar bahir kar ke ayen ge.."
She placed a hand on her hip breathing out in a huff, "Toh aap kyaa kar rhy hain ghar pe?"
It was a rhetorical question Zubair knew. She was angry and blabbering..
But what she didn't know was he was a nervous blabberer himself. And beautiful, angry women made him very very nervous.
"Mere pass koi hai nhi jisko shopping karaun.. Toh main ghar pe hun.. Lekin waisey main chala jataa magr .. Ammi hain naa meri unko aftaar karwana hota hai.. Waise toh woh chal phir leti hain magr phir bhi akele chor naa achaa nhi lagtaa..."
"Ohh bhaii poocha hai maine??" She cut him off rudely, raising her hand; fingers curling in a questioning gesture.
*crack* Went his heart at the loud Bhai.
Clearing his throat he shook his head, more blabber following, "Aarey.. Nhi nhi.. Main toh waisey hi bata raha thaa.. Woh aap ne kaha naa aap kyun hain ghar pe..toh.. Main koi--"
"Mujhe aap ki mother se milna hai.. Jo Abdul-Hadi ki Naani hain." She ignored his words speaking faster.
"Ji? Kyun?" He craned his neck forward surprised.
"KYUN KE MAIN SHIKAYAT KARNE AYI HUN!"
Zubair coughed in his fist not ready to accept he was scared of the volume.
"Shikayat kis baat ki? Kyaa kiya hai Hadi ne?" He questioned wary of his nephew's pranks already. (Har jagah zaleel karwaado yaar tum log!)
"Yeh main kisi maaqool barey ko batana chahti hun! Iss liye mujhe milna hai--"
"Dekheyn filhaal toh yahan pe sab se maaqool insan main hun. Or waisey bhi iss ghar main sab se maaqool insan main hi hun."
She stared in disbelief and Zubair elaborated clearing his throat again.
"Jo meri Walda hain naa.. Ammi meri.. Unka toh dimagh bohat pehle hi saath chor chuka hai.. Aap unse mileyn gi toh chaar sawal wohh hi aaap se kar naa shuru ho jayen gi 'Kitney saal ki ho!' 'shadi ho gayi?' 'Nhi hui toh kyun nhi hui?' Or hoo gayi toh 'kitney bachey hain?' Or ho gayi magr nhi hain toh 'kyun nhi hain?' Samjhin?" He paused to let her digest the information. The simply woman blinked.
"Or jo mere barey bhai hain- Mere Ek barey bhai or do bari behney hain by the way- woh bhi thorey.." He made a cuckoo sign rotating his finger at his temple, "Itney kanjoos hain! Kyaa bataoun aap ko! Das rupey ki bhi koi cheez ho gi naa toh kam karwaa ke Paanch rupey main len ge! Uff!! Bss meri bhaabi masoom hain guzara kar rhin hainn.. Lekin woh bhi thori.. You know.. Hain! Safayi kaa itnaa khabt hai! Unka bss chaley pura Karachi khud hi saaf karne nikal jayen! "
"Or meri behney?? Allah hu akbar.." He shook his head touching both fingers to his ear lobes.
"Ek behen hain meri--sab se bari-- Appa kehtey hain unko, jab mera rishta aataa hai kehti hai hum Istikhara kar ke jawab den ge... Or Allah maaf karey kabhi jo theek ajaye! kabhi unko khuwaab main saanp nazr atey hain! Kabhi bichu! Kabhi aag! Sirf ek istikhara theek aya thaa woh bara achaa Jahez de rhy they apni beti ko .. Per phir jab unhon ne Haq meher 1Lakh bola toh mujhe khud hi mana karna para.. Appa ne bola arey karlo shadi kon se tumne paise dene hain lekin khuda kaa khof bhi koi cheez hota hai naa? Keh nhi?"
He stopped to breathe and the woman was still staring as if he was an alien she had encountered.
"Chaleyn chorey waise aap apna kaam-- matlb pareyshani bata den.. Main dekhta hun kyaa kar saktey hain.."
She blinked twice and he wondered if she lost her memory, "Madam?"
Then she shook her head fast. What a crazy man! But she still continued with her issue.
"Main.. Main darasal Abdul-Hadi ke college main Substitute Chemistry teacher hun Miss. Muneeza. Inki purani chemistry teacher kafi aged hain unke ghutney kaa operation hua thaa last month woh nhi aa rhi thin college. Maine students ko apna number iss liye diya thaa keh Summer vacations main
As-Chemistry ko tyaar kartey waqt kisi ko koi issue aye toh mujhe message kar skta hai .. Lekin misuse karne ke liye nhi diya tha!"
Zubair nodded slowly. Chemistry teacher? Why did that sound so filmy?
Roza Zubair Roza!!
*Ahem..
"Toh kis ne kiya misuse?.... Kya matlb?"
"Kal iftaar ke baad mujhe Abdul-Hadi ki call ayi thi.. Orr itnii wahiyaat guftugu thi keh main kyaaa bataoun aap ko!! Rozey main kuch ultaa seedha nikal jayee gaa!" Miss Muneeza fumed.
Zubair scratched the back of his neck wanting to scratch Hadi's face really badly then swallowed, "I'm.. Sorry.. Woh--"
"Main toh unke Parents se zaroor complain karun gi! Had ho gayi matlb!! Zindagi jhand ho gayi jab se school join kyaa hai!! Dimagh kharab! In bachon ke liye khapo! Or uper se aysi harkateyn bardasht karo!"
"Asal... Main... Ghalti uski nhi hai.."
Her head shot up, eyes glaring hard when Zubair tried defending Hadi and Zubair clarified his point quickly, "matlb keh naa.. Bichare ko khandan hi aysa mila hai.. Ammaa hain keh unko bss Doctor bachey chahiye, beti ban rhi hai orr bete ko laga diya uss hi line pe.. Yeh nhi dekhnaa keh uska interest kyaa hai or Jo Abba hain.. Woh bhi ayse hi. Aap new teacher hain naa aap ko nhi pata.. Pichli wali se poocheyn PTM main ek ghantaa beth keh behes kari teacher se keh unkey bete kaa 99 Out of 100 kyun haii! 100/100 kyun nhi?? Bhai masoom bacha kahan jaa ker frustration nikaley? Lekin aap tension nhi len! Main naa phir bhi usko bohaat daantu gaa!"
Muneeza stomped her foot, "sarey sanki log hain yahan pe!"
"Jee bilkul.. Mere ilawa.." Zubair agreed but when she glared he quietened quickly.
"Mujhe.. Mujhe phir bhi unkey Ammi abbu se milna hai!" Miss Muneeza was adamant.
Zubair sighed then nodded, "Aysa kareyn apna number de den-"
"Ji???!"
"Nhi nhi.. Main koi aysa waisa larka nhi hun.. Matlb number maang raha hun keh jab Appa ajayen gi toh inform kar dun aap ko.." He nodded.
Miss Muneeza sized him up with those doe eyes of hers, thin eyebrows meeting in the middle. Then she twisted her lips moving them left to right, stretching her cheeks. Sucked a large lung full of air. Held it in.
Then exhaled, "Fine. Note kareyn!"
His hands trembled as he followed up on her order and Zubair almost dropped his phone then shook his head before opening the Phone app, but accidentally pressed calander right beside it. Then tried the back button but his phone got stuck and then finally reached home screen again but pressed whatsapp instead of Phone app again.
Miss Muneeza narrowed her eyes at him taking soo long in just opening his Keypad and he blushed.
"E..ek.. ek second bss woh.. Khul raha hai..*ahem*" he mumble embarrassed.
She rolled her eyes but gave away her contact as soon as Zubair's keypad opened.
"Rehti kahan hain aap?" He asked conversationaly just as Miss Muneeza stepped away from the gate.
"Kyun?! Daka dalwana hai aap ko?"
He blanched then coughed in his fist,"Ah.. Arey nhi.. Main.. Woh Apaa poocheyn gi iss liye.."
"Yeh jo saamne gully hai iss ke end wala ghar hai." Miss Muneeza replied dryly.
"Park ke baraber wala??!"
'Itne qareeb itni haseen hasti rehti thi tujhe khabar hi nhi Zubair naliqe! ..'
"Abhi kuch din pehle shift hui hun.." She said nodding.
"Ohh.. Haan wohi main sochun wahan toh Mateen sahab rehety they pehle.." He scratched his chin.
Miss Muneeza sighed uncaringly and began to leave.
"A.. Allah Hafiz! Acha laga aap ayin.." He blurted.
"Mujhe nhi laga. Pagal admi.." She scoffed mumbling the last part as stepped down the front ramp.
"Seedhi use karlen wahan slippery hai.." Zubair was out to get himself throughly..
'Zalil-o-fyied'.
She turned her neck side ways meeting his gaze with a heated one of her and as if to prove a point stepped right on the middle of the cemented car ramp and stomped down.
"Nhi hua slip!"
He stayed rooted to his spot watching her leave and then as she disappeared from view slowly closed the gate slumping against it.
"Haye... Bss yahi kami reh gayi thi zindagi main zubair... Le de Ek dil hi bacha thaa tumharey pass woh bhi koi le gaya..." He sighed dropping his head chin a distance from his chest.
What a woman! ....
__________________________________
Lyba and Saira, Sawera gave quiet looks to Hadi and then his phone after they came back from shopping and Aftaar.
It was a good thing it was silent, which meant no one was coming after them.
But at the same time it meant that Hadi wouldn't be getting thrashed so the plan was for nothing. They didn't want that either.
"Hadi..."
Abdul-Hadi quirked a brow at the unexpected sweetness from Lyba.
"Farmaayenn?" He dragged, fingers busy moving the Soldier in his PUBG on the screen.
"Main--"
"Sami! kyaa kar raha hai yaar! Mujhe maar diyaa! Gadhaa hai yaar tu! Revive karo mujhe aa ke!"
Lyba grimaced at his loud yell and placing a finger in her ear shook it hard.
"Kyaa hai jaldi bolo!!" Hadi looked up annoyed when she called again, "Agr kuch mangwana hai toh sorry! Main nhi jaa raha kahin mera level bohat important hai I have to reach target!"
She rolled her eyes at his haughty attitude wanting to slam him and his phone right on top of the marble floor then run him over with a rolling pin watching as he gets flattened TOM & Jerry style.
If only they were in the Cartoon world.
"Tumheyn koi call wall toh nhi ayi?... Like I mean.. Kisi ne message kiya ho? Kisi ne shayad block kiya ho?"
"Kisi ki himmat nhi mujhe block karey.. " he scoffed, "or mere pass kis ka message aya yeh tum ko kyun bataoun gaa? Maa lagti ho meri? Chalo kato side pe ho!" He flicked his hand waving her off.
"Beta tumharey sath toh jo hoo gaa naa wohi sahi ho ga.."
He looked up abruptly, "Kya hoga?"
"ABDUL-HADI!"
They turned to see Zubair Chachu walking towards them with his hands on his hips.
"Ji chachu?"
"Phone dena zara apna!"
"Chachuu!! Abhi nhi yaarr! Abhi bohat important game chal raha hai!! Abhi nhii de sktaaa!!!"
"Abey saaley--"
"Chachu Saaley aap hain.." He quipped and Zubair pinched his ear lobe making him cry out.
"Teachers ko call kar ke prank kartey ho!! Hain!! Yeh tarbiyat di hai humne tumheyn!!"
Now the girls stood up alerted.
Sameer watched wide eyed, the game, a thing of the past.
"Chachuu!! Aahh! Kyaa hogaya! Maine kuch nhi kyaa!!"
"Tum ne kuch nhi kya jhootey! Abhi Aapa or Noshey bhai (brother in law) ko bataoun naaa sab sach nikal jaye gaa bahir!"
"Chachu sachi keh rahaa nhi ki kisi ko call!"
"Betaa pakrey gaye ho!!! Ghar aayin thi tumhari miss!! Sab bataa diyaa!"
"Kon si Miss???" Hadi cried holding his ear trying to pull it out of Zubair's grip.
"Miss Muneeza!"
Ohh... So M.M.Chem.. Stands for that!! ... The girls exchanged knowing looks before going back to enjoying their show.
"Chachu kasam se! Kasam se! Ramzan hai dekheyn jhooti kasam nhi khaa raha! Maine koi call nhi ki!!" He looked up eyes beguiling as he pleaded innocence.
Zubair paused loosening his grip.
"Woh toh keh rhi thin.. Keh Aftaar keh baad call ki thi tumne.." He said.
"Nhi Chachu.. Tab toh hum Bahir they main or Hadi.. Or phone ghar pe tha.." Sameer jumped to his cousin brother's rescue.
Zubair frowned.
"Chachu aap ke sir ki kasam uthwaa len beshak!!" Hadi cried out.
"Abey chal! Kunwara maar do mujhe tum log!" Zubair stepped back pulling his collar and raked a hand through his hair.
"Chachu.. Baal sufaid hona shuru ho gaye hain.. Iss janam main aap ke hanth main shadi ki lakeer nhi hai--" Hadi hopped two steps back just as Zubair's hand flew to smack him.
"Chup karo!! Or pehley bataou mujhe yeh call ki kisne??"
The girls shrugged innocently but Hadi was smarter.
"Chachu Sameer kar nhi skta.. Main thaa nhi... Baqi bachey toh nichey hi they... Bacha bss yeh teeno... Or aysi kharafaat yahan sirf iss Shaytaan Lybaa ke dimagh main aa skti hai or pura kareyn ge iss ke chalay! Yeh yehi hain chachuu! Inhon ne hi phone kiyaa hogaa! Sawera sab ki awaazen bana leti hai!" He said loudly.
Zubair narrowed his eyes and stepped closer to the girls.
Lyba gulped and Saira Sawera hid behind her shrinking smaller.
"Ch..chachu... M.. Hum.. Humne..humne--"
He raised a hand and Lyba shrank lower then..
"Bara sahi kaam kya.." He patted her head, "Aysa karo tum log sab jaldi se shoes pehno main tum log ko park leke jaa raha hun."
The girls perked up eyes popping.
"Chachu ko zyada hi roza lag gaya aaj.." Mumbled Sameer. Hadi nodded.
"Chachu sach??! Aap chaleyn ge leke??" Lyba exclaimed already jumping with excitement, first because she was saved and second by the thought of the 'Jhooley!'
"Haan haan jaldi jaldi scarf bandho, tyaar ho, niklo.. Tum log jhoola jhool lena main wahan walk kar lun gaa." Said Zubair.
"Allah chachu!! Aap best hain yaar bestt!!! Bestt!" Saira yelled coming to hug Zubair and he awkwardly patted her head.
"Haan haan! bss bss chalo ab baad main pyaar dikhana.."
Hadi looked at Sameer and he looked back.
One thought going round in their head and they wondered,
"Chachu itney achey kaisey ho gaye achanak?"
__________________________________
Kaisey? Haan kaisey ho gaye??😂
Sorry guys late ho gaye aaj but I updated so maaf? Hehe 😁
Do comment how it was. Funny thaa nhi thaa.. Jo bhi. I'll try to make it more funny and interesting 😘