I pushed myself to my feet with a frown, looking around me.
I was alone on the side of the stream, in an area that I didn't recognize. I pushed my fingers against the side of my face, unsurprised to find the area pain-free. My accelerated healing must have taken care of the wound while I slept. I automatically looked towards my left arm, grimacing at the solid black limb. I couldn't even see if it had spread without taking off my shirt. My frown deepened as I looked around.
Where were my companions?
Spinning in a slow circle, I didn't see any signs of them around me. Something told me that they wouldn't have just left me alone here either. Or at least Kam wouldn't have, everyone else was debatable. A familiar feeling washed over me as I looked around. A sense that everything around me wasn't real. That none of this existed even though it appeared to be as real as I was. I cursed under my breath.
I was dreaming.
I knew from experience that I wasn't far from my companions. I almost always appeared near Acilia or Kam, but never within view of them. I assumed that this time would be no different. I jogged slowly back the way that assumed that they were. I didn't recognize the area, so I head back the way that we were coming from. I must have materialized farther down the stream.
After a few minutes, I turned around and headed back the way that I came.
I really hadn't been paying attention earlier.
Going the correct way, I saw the others after only a few moments. I slowed down as I approached the group, immediately locating everyone. Both Acilia and Milo were sleeping. I raised an eyebrow at the nearness of the pair. It looked as if they had fallen asleep talking with one another, Milo was propped up with his back against a tree with Acilia stretched out on the ground beside him. Her hand was resting on his lap.
Kam better step up his game.
A quick survey showed that Shadow hadn't left. He was back in his fox form, sitting near the edge of the stream. A flash of yellow told me that he hadn't given into the idea of sleeping. I had no intentions of provoking the fox, especially not in his fox form. The idea of getting any closer to him already had my breath catching in my throat. Keeping half an eye on him, I turned my gaze to the only other person sleeping.
"That's trippy," I muttered to myself as I stared down at my unconscious body. I almost didn't recognize myself, not because I looked that different, but because it wasn't often that I looked into a mirror. Everything about the boy was as familiar as it was unfamiliar, from the acne marring my tan skin to the dark hair that was little more than a tangled mop on my head. There were dark circles under my eyes, and it was obvious why with all of the thrashing that I was doing. The dark circles matched the dirt and blood clinging to my face; I was as filthy as I had ever seen me.
'Mom' would have a fit.
Although I was sleeping, it clearly wasn't very restful. I kept thrashing around my sleep, distinguish murmurs falling from my lips. It looked like someone had put a jacket as a pillow underneath my head at some point, but the balled-up piece of fabric was feet away from where I laid. It was a miracle that I hadn't slammed my head hard enough into the rocks to give me a concussion. Again.
Looking around, I saw the air in front of the lake was simmering slightly. Kam must have put up a barrier to keep me from accidentally falling into it in my sleep. After a moment, I grabbed the jacket and shoved it under my head. I wasn't particularly worried about myself waking up, but with the gash that was still leaking on the rocks, I figured the cushion was a good idea. Eventually, I wasn't going to have a brain left with the way that my head was being thrown around.
My eyes scanned the stream until I found Kam. He was sitting on one of the numerous flat stones, his eyes up in the sky. Although the boy was likely supposed to be watching over everyone, he didn't appear to have noticed me. I rolled my eyes at his carelessness. What idiot left him on guard?
I guessed it was a good thing Shadow was awake.
Grabbing my sword silently from where it had been discarded, I snuck over to where Kam was sitting. I was careful not to let my shadow fall on him as I moved behind him. He was sitting up, his eyes opened as he stared mindlessly at the clouds. He didn't even notice me behind him until I had the blade at his throat. Leaning forward, I whispered in his ear, "Don't scream... I hate it when they scream."
Kam jumped, a rather dangerous thing to do with a sword to his throat. I jerked it away from him to avoid having him slit his throat by accident. The wind spirit spun around the moment that he realized that he wasn't in danger of losing his head. I crossed my arms at him as he blinked, realizing that it was just me. He gave me a sheepish grin, "Hey, Tay. I thought that you were sleeping."
"I am." I deadpanned, jerking my head to where my body laid sleeping. Kam's eyes widened as he looked between where I stood and my body. I had already twisted away from the jacket again. If I wasn't outside of my body, I wouldn't be sure as to how I got any sleep. No wonder the circles under my eyes were always prominent. I was not a restful sleeper. Upside though, I didn't snore.
"Wicked," Kam breathed out. Without warning, he moved to punch my arm. I caught the clumsy throw with ease, twisting it until I had it shoved up behind Kam's back. He hissed in pain, "Ow! I just wanted to make sure that you were solid. I guess that answers that question," He muttered almost as an afterthought.
I released his arm, rolling my eyes, "Who's brilliant idea was it to have you stand guard?" I asked him rolling my eyes. I sat down on the rock, setting the sword down in easy reach. Kam would be next to no use in any kind of ambush. We would all be dead before he even realized that there was a threat.
"I wasn't tired when the others were," He looked abashed at his screw-up, "I convinced Milo that it would be fine. I'm supposed to wake him when the sun reaches mid-sky, but the clouds are covering it." He pointed to the sky, shrugging helplessly, "They don't seem very inclined to move and I don't want to waste power making them."
I didn't hesitate to smack him upside the head. I glanced briefly at the dark clouds looming over us. I was mildly surprised that they were blocking the light of the sun. They had rolled through quickly, I couldn't recall seeing that many on the horizon before I went to sleep, "You're an idiot," I declared, "Do you always take things that seriously? I doubt that he will care if you wake him up a little earlier or late."
"I just don't want to mess anything up," He said with a smile, his attitude as light and carefree as always. His words made me frown as I looked over at him, at the happy smile that he always wore. I could still feel his emotions running through me, the hatred that he constantly had for himself.
There was a large part of me that didn't want it to be my problem. So what if he was depressed? Everyone and their uncle claimed to be depressed. He could get over it, find something to live for. Or he would die, and what would it matter to me? I didn't even know him all that well, not really. Only a few days ago I assumed him to be a figment of my imagination. What did I really know about him anyway?
It wasn't in my nature to worry about people. I wasn't the guy that people went to when they were having a mental health crisis. I was the guy that often caused those crises. I was the guy that saw a guy standing on the edge of a building and yelled at them to do a backflip. I was the guy that wasn't concerned when someone tried to commit suicide using my brother's car. I recognized death, but I didn't care about it.
I had seen people die. I had held people as they drew their last breaths. I had seen countless people decide that life wasn't enough and go off to find something better in death. There were very few people in the world that I couldn't imagine life without. Very few people that if they died, I would die with them.
Janus.
'Mother'.
'Father'.
They were the people that mattered to me. And they were gone, out of reach. If I went back to them now, they would wind up dead. Right now, they just thought that I was a decaying corpse in the ground, and they wouldn't know any better. Not unless I could figure out how to get out of the Wanderer crap. They were my family and I would do anything to get back to them.
Kam wasn't one of them. But Kam was a light in this world. He was the spot of fun in the bloodshed, the person that made everyone smile. Something told me that he did that, he made everyone smile because if he stopped smiling, he would break down. Kam was a light in the dark and this world needed him. If this world was going to survive, it needed him.
And I didn't want to lose him.
"When you kissed me," I began, momentarily making a face at the memory that I wished I could scrub from my brain, "it wasn't just your powers that transferred to me. Some of your emotions did as well. Actually, a lot of your emotions did."
"Maybe we should go ahead and wake up Milo," Kam spoke as if he hadn't heard me, not making eye contact as he did so, "Do you think that we will be able to shake you awake? Or is your form here the real you now and we won't be able to wake you until you leave? Milo probably knows."
He stood up, looking as if he was going to go and wake the elf. I grabbed his arm and pulled him down beside me. His eyes fell on my face, but he didn't meet my eyes, instead, he was staring at the tip of my nose as if it had all the answers. News flash, the only thing that the tip of my nose had was mild acne, "You can't run from this."
"There is a war to win," He replied biting his lip, "Aren't there better things to do than debate my emotions?"
"There are a hundred things that I would rather be doing. Such as playing League of Legends—not that I've ever played it before, but it sounds far more fun than this mess," He snorted at the mention of the Earthly video game, I ignored it and continued, "Just...Don't die, okay? This world needs you."
God, past me, was an idiot.
"You're wrong. This world doesn't need me." Kam said softly, his voice barely a whisper on the wind—pun intended. He took his gaze off of me as he stared at the clearing of his friends, "This world would have a chance if it wasn't for me." I stared at him.
"What makes you say that?"
He chuckled without humor, "Isn't it obvious? How many times have I been taken? How many times have I been captured? How many times have other people had to risk their lives in order to save me? I'm worse than dead weight to you. Everything that I do messes up your plans, risks your missions. Think about how much easier your job of saving this world would be if I wasn't in it."
"Well, I can't argue with that." I deadpanned. What? He wasn't wrong. Just because he hadn't gotten caught in the last few days didn't change the fact that most of my job over here involved getting Kam out of trouble. I would be shocked if Kam didn't wind up captured or dead by the end of this. I belated realized that saying that probably wasn't the best way to go about cheering him up. What was I supposed to do? Lie to him?
Probably.
I sighed as I tried to figure out something inspirational to say, "Look, you suck on the battlefield, you're a crappy fighter, and even worse when it comes to not getting caught. You're a magnet for trouble, even when trouble shouldn't be possible. You lack the brain cells necessary to survive in a world like this," Where was I going with this? Oh yeah, "But that's not why we risk our necks to save you. We save you because you're a decent guy to be around, kinda. Most of us don't want you to die. We might even be a little sad if you did die."
"Do not ever work for the suicide hotline," Kam shook his head, a burst of soft laughter leaving him as he stared at me, "Would it kill you to admit that some of us are your friends? That some of us care about you?"
"Ah, but to be friends, I would have to care about you guys back. And I don't." I once again belatedly realized that this was probably the wrong thing to say to him. Man, I was great at this.
"If you didn't care, you wouldn't be sitting here trying to figure out the right things to say," I didn't respond to that, and Kam smiled softly, "It's okay, don't torture yourself. We can figure things out after this mission, okay?" I nodded in agreement, not really wanting to talk about it any more than he did.
I sucked at pep talks.
We sat there in silence for a few moments, just watching over the small area where our companions were resting in. The silence didn't last long, not that I expected it to. Kam was the kind of person that couldn't remain silent for long. He always wanted to fill the air with something, as if he couldn't stand the thought that ran through his head when he was quiet.
"I don't want this world to die. This world had so much beauty in it, so much good," He smiled as a butterfly came within inches off his face, "It kills me inside to see it dying. To see something so precious turn into a battlefield. This world is unique in more than one way. Everyone coexisted in harmony until the demons came to destroy it. Not even storybooks have endings as happy as what this world was. And now it's decaying, infection from the outside poisoning it."
"We won't let it die. Everyone here will fight for this world with their last breaths."
"Not everyone," I gave him an odd look at that, instinctively wrapping my hand around the hilt of the sword. He snorted at that and gestured towards Shadow, "He seemed like he wouldn't particularly mind if everything around him died. Makes you wonder what his owner must be like."
The creature's ear was angled towards us. I had no doubt that he could hear us even as far away as he was. I didn't really care if he could either, "I don't trust him as far as I could throw him," I paused then added, "In human form. I feel like he would make a pretty good last-minute projectile in fox form. I'll have to test the efficacy of it next time I see Aaron."
"A little air magic and you won't have to worry about him scratching you in the process," Kam suggested, though the thought of it made me uncomfortable. He noticed it immediately, tilting his head, "You know, I think that half of the reason that you're feeble attempts to use magic aren't working is because you don't want them to. Why?"
I didn't answer that at first. He was right, I didn't want to use my powers. I didn't want to have powers. I couldn't shake the disgust that washed over me every time that I thought about their existence. They were just another thing that made me a freak, another thing that made it impossible to go back to the life that I craved.
Most people, I was certain, would be enthralled with the idea of having this power. They would be so excited that they were more powerful than their friends, excited at the idea of adventure. They didn't understand. As a child, all I wanted was to be normal. I wanted parents that loved me more than they loved drugs. I wanted to be able to eat without having to steal bread from passerbyers. I wanted to be able to sleep without being terrified that someone was going to hurt me.
Or Goddess forbid hurt her.
As a child, I longed for the life that seemed so far away.
And then one day, I had it.
Meeting one person changed everything. I went from having nothing to having a family. I had a brother. I had 'parents' that cared that I couldn't sleep through the night without waking up from a nightmare. Sure, I was a freak at school that didn't speak English, but at home? None of that matters. It didn't matter that my 'parents' had to take class after class of Italian to learn to communicate with my brother and me, that to communicate they had to rely on translator apps on their phones. For the first time in my life, I had what I wanted.
I was normal.
And this world, these powers, they tossed that normal away. I could see why being a Wanderer was a curse. It took everything that I thought that I had and ruined it. My old life was gone forever and I had no chance of ever getting it back. I would be doomed to spend the rest of my life wandering through dimensions, searching for the family that I had to leave behind.
"These powers make me a freak."
I didn't realize that I had spoken aloud until Kam's hand came to rest gently on my shoulder, "Yeah, little bit," He admitted in a similar fashion to what I told him earlier, "But what's wrong with being a little freaky? Your powers have the ability to save this world. With your powers, you're as strong as the strongest person. It's not as much of you being a freak as it is you being unique."
"I don't want to be unique," I sounded like a pouting teenager and I didn't particularly care. I had every right to act like a moody teenager. I was one and I took pride in being a pain in everyone's lives, "I want to be a normal person living out a normal life. I'm not supposed to have these powers. I'm just a person."
I tried to avoid the word human as I spoke, tiptoeing around the fact that I wasn't from this world. Kam didn't seem to notice as he thought about what I said. He leaned back so that he was leaning on his arms, his gaze back to the sky, "What's your family like?"
The topic change made me blink. I frowned at the seemingly random question. I debated on whether or not to answer; they were my family, he didn't have any need to know anything about them. I opened my mouth to tell him just that before he lifted his gaze to meet my eyes. There was something innocent about the expression on his face, his light blue eyes wide and pure. Sitting there, he looked as if he was an angel, full of grace and innocence.
I inwardly cursed, finding myself unwilling to refuse his simple request, "My 'parents' are normal parents, I guess." I said finally, deciding to give him only the most basic of information, "They would give their everything for my brother and me, home every night for dinner and whatnot."
The thought of them sitting alone in the hospital depressed me. I didn't doubt that they had taken a leave of absence from their jobs as they waited patiently for my brother to wake up. Hoping that he would wake up. Did they already think that I was dead? Or were they waiting for their son to come home that would never arrive? I swallowed at the thought.
They had started the week with two healthy children. Now they were sitting in a hospital with only half of a child left.
Kam didn't seem to realize that I wasn't comfortable with the conversation. He tilted his head when he saw my air quotes are the word parents, "Do you not like your parents?" His voice was hesitant as if was worried it was a sensitive subject. Which it was, the bird brain just didn't notice.
"I was adopted," I deadpanned. His eyes twinkled curiously and I mentally cursed myself for giving in to this topic. Not wanting him to ask about my DNA donors so I continued on, "I think that I was five when they adopted me, my brother was ten." He seemed to latch onto the end of the statement.
"Is he your real brother?"
"Of course, he's my real brother," I snapped back. I knew what he meant by it, but I didn't particularly care. Janus was as much my real brother as my 'parents' were my real parents. Blood didn't mean anything in families. They were my real family, regardless of what something as insignificant as DNA said about it.
Someone with a normal family might not ever understand the affection that people could have for people that weren't blood. Their ignorance wasn't my problem. What was my problem was when people tried to shove it down my throat that my family didn't actually care about me because I was adopted. That my 'parents' didn't love me as much as they would a kid of their own blood. It was only then that their ignorance became my problem.
The subsequent health problems were their problem.
"Sorry, sorry, I was just...Never mind." Kam said quickly, holding up his hands in defense. He took a moment to highly consider what he said next, sensing that the wrong thing would have him flipping back into the lake, "It's just, what if your powers can save your family's lives? Maybe not today or tomorrow, but what if they can help them? What if your powers are the only thing standing between them and death? Wouldn't it be better to be able to use them when you need to?"
"You're starting to sound like Milo," I commented dryly.
I didn't miss the look he cast towards Milo and Acilia, the faint longing look in his eyes as he did. I could have told him that their relationship meant nothing. Milo would be leaving the moment this world was balanced again and would forget about Acilia in the next dimension that he went to save. And if this dimension crashed and burned, their relationship really wouldn't matter.
Kam swallowed as he tore his gaze from them, "I like to think that I'm not as much of a stick in the mud as Milo," He tried to smile, but it was weak. I ignored it as I was done trying to give pep talks, "I just don't think that your powers are something to shun. They are a part of you. If nothing else, they lead you to us, didn't they?"
"I'll make you a deal; you stop talking about my problems with powers, and I won't talk to you about your depression." I crossed my arms. I wouldn't have to listen to him lecture me on the importance of powers and I wouldn't have to torture myself trying to make him not kill himself. Sounded like a win-win for me.
"The difference is that I don't matter, you do."
"If that's not the definition of depression, then I don't know what else is." I drawled out. I lifted my gaze to the sky, a frown forming on my face as I stared at the dark clouds. There was something odd about the way that they were, though I couldn't place my finger on the problem "Do those clouds look normal to you?"
He immediately followed my gaze, his eyes narrowing slightly. I could tell that he was tapping into his air powers slightly, letting the vaper in the air tell him what was going on. He relaxed after a moment and shrugged, "It's not rain clouds but a smoke cloud," He told me, "When Riqouiston was bombed, it produced a fair amount of smoke. It's still affecting the atmosphere." My stomach dropped.
Riqouiston was behind us, we had passed it yesterday. This smoke from coming from in front of us, towards the lake. I stood abruptly, yanking Kam to his feet in the process, "We need to wake up the others. Now."
The wind spirit looked puzzled but I didn't give him a chance to question it as I moved towards where Milo and Acilia were sleeping. I left Acilia for Kam to wake as I moved to Milo. The elf was sleeping with his sword locked in his hand. With no concern for getting stabbed, I leaned forward and shouted in his ear, "FIRE!"
He didn't jump like I had expected him to. Instead, he opened his eyes calmly to regard me, "I am a lighter sleeper than you give me credit for. I heard you walking up." He pushed himself to his feet, his eyes landing curiously on my sleeping body, "Are you getting any rest right now? Do you wake up refreshed?"
"There are clouds of smoke coming from the lake," I told him, ignoring his question. I wouldn't wake up completely refreshed, I would wake up feeling as if I had been tossing and turning all night, which I had. After years of it, I was used to the feeling. It wasn't the time to dwell on it.
Milo's expression darkened as he looked up at the lake. Wordlessly, he grabbed his bag and pulled out Aaron's shoe. The tracking spell he used was quicker this time since he didn't need to manifest the map for the rest of us to see. His eyes opened a moment later, "He's still there." He said sounding grim, "We better hurry."
"Are neither you worried about the fact that we are almost certainly walking into a trap?" Acilia crossed her arms in concern as she looked back and forth between Milo and me, "This feels too easy to me and I still haven't heard any solid plans about how we're going to hold Aaron if we find him."
"I've got that covered. Apparently, Aaron has many of the same weaknesses as the fae do," Milo pulled something out of his bag. I blinked at the simple pair of handcuffs he produced, "Iron will contain him, though it won't work for long. My friend forged these himself, inscribing them with different methods that will ensure to hold him. He estimates that it will last around a week before he will be able to break free of them."
My eyes tracked Shadow as the fox stood up, walking over to us rather easily. I assumed that this was the same friend that the creature belonged to. The idea of his help didn't appeal to me. Sometimes told me that Shadow never went against his Master's wishes. If his pet wanted me dead, something told me that his Master was unlikely to want me alive, "Your friend just happened to have exactly what we need ready for us?"
"He's had dealing with Aaron in the past," Milo said simply, shrugging lightly. The elf didn't seem very concerned about it, but to me, it was like a giant red flag with fireworks firing behind it. This person just happened to have all of this advice about my powers and about Aaron? Wanderer World or not, I didn't trust it. Milo noticed my distrust as he added, "I trust this guy with my life. If he says that it will work, then it will work."
"Would you trust him with something that was actually worth something?" That earned me a withering glare from Milo and a snicker from the others.
Before Milo and I could dive further down the rabbit hole, the idiot spoke up, "I think that Tay should hang onto the handcuffs," Everyone turned to stare at Kam in confusion. Their faces mirrored my thoughts. Why give the guy who couldn't fight and couldn't use his powers the only chance they had at beating Aaron. He looked slightly uncomfortable with the attention, "I mean, Aaron is gunning for him, right? He's got the best chance at getting close enough to capture him."
For once, he made sense. Milo slung his backpack on, staring at Kam for a moment as if he was contemplating quantum physics. Seeming to reach a decision he nodded once, "Fine." He didn't hold the object out towards me, much to my surprise. I raised an eyebrow, "What's going to happen to them when you wake up?" Milo asked me when he noticed my confusion, "With our luck, they will just vanish with you."
I had forgotten that I was sleeping.
"We should probably wake me up." I decided, casting a warily glance towards the sky, "I don't know what's happening at the lake, but I have a strong feeling that we need to get there sooner rather than later."
With that said, I moved toward my sleeping body. I grimaced at the puddle of blood that had smeared across the rocks. I must have hit my head when Shadow hit me. I could see the scab forming on the back of my head, something told me that if I wasn't thrashing around so much then it probably would have healed with the former bruise on my cheek. I could see a black goop around the wound, but most of it had smeared off. I didn't doubt that there was a discarded bandage around.
I knelt down and shook my shoulders rather roughly. I wasn't very surprised that I didn't stir, "Kam, can you drop the barrier keeping me from falling into the water?" I asked him with a contemplative look, "The water should shock my system enough to wake me up."
Kam raised his hand, but Acilia smack it down, "I'm all for dunking you in the water, but I really don't think that it will do anything other than drown you," She gave both of us looks that clearly meant that we shouldn't try it anyway, "You've been thrashing all night, scraping yourself with enough force that it should have woken you by now. I get the feeling that as long as you are here, I doubt that you will be able to wake up. Other than waking up naturally, what's made you suddenly wake up before?"
"You know things are bad when Acilia is a voice of reason," I muttered under my breath. Normally she was all for stupid things like this, though I could see her point in not, "Aside from natural sleep cycles, Aaron. He normally tries to kill me and I instantly wake up."
"Okay, so all we have to do is leave him here, go to Aaron, have Aaron try to kill his spirit self, then when he wakes up we go back and capture Aaron." Three sets of hands smacked the village idiot this time.
"Do you even think before things like that leave your mouth?" I asked him with a swift shake of my head. Ignoring Kam for the time being, I looked over at Acilia and Milo, "Obviously we can't get to Aaron without giving everything away, but there has to be something that we can do."
Milo's eyes were locked on something behind me, "There is," He said simply, still staring behind me. I spun around to see what he was looking at so intensely. I froze as I came eye to eye with the humanoid version of Shadow, his lips drawn back in a feral grin. I didn't have to blink before he raised his arm.
And drove a knife straight into my heart.