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▪︎Monday▪︎
+Sebastian+
Harlow had a shoot with Rivera's family this afternoon, Henry atleast passed her name around to the team when she moved in. She got caught up longer than she planned though, so she called me to pickup Ava; she said I'm 'the only person she can trust'. Now, I'm on my way to pick up Ava from preschool. Harlow's been letting me in more everyday and I gotta say it feels like home to be near these two.
Sunday, we got breakfast and spent all day watching movies and eating food that Harlow experimented with. She was adorable telling me about all the new recipes she wants to try to make. We ate so much food yesturday and damn, my girl can cook.
I haven't been able to shake the image of that slender monster grabbing at my sweet Harlow. The look in her eyes when I stood from beating him to a pulp, the thrill in her eyes when she saw me take him down after hurting her. I won't let anyone hurt them, not anymore.
I pull up to the tall white painted brick building and park my range rover. When I trot around the front of my car, I already feel eyes on me...probably wondering what the hell I am doing here at a preschool with all these moms. As I start to feel uncomfortable, those tiny glittery gold shoes patter onto the pavement infront of me. Her caramel eyes widen as she sees me and holds in a squeal with excited little wiggly fists. Ava's blond hair flying around her in a mess as she runs toward me full speed with a bright smile.
"Sebby, I didn't know you were picking me up!" She giggled as I crouched down to wrap her in a hug, her little arms wrapping around my neck.
"Well, your Mom got caught up with her camera and some people so...how about we have our first adventure?"
She smiled as she pulled back, excitedly grabbing fistfuls of her turquoise dress, with little gold stars all over it.
She wiggled with excitement, "an adventure...just me and you?! Yay!"
When she squealed, I felt more eyes from the woman standing all around with their kids, so I quickly stand. I nod to the preschool teacher that had the photo of my ID from Lo, and turn to open the backseat, where he booster is already installed.
"What are we doing?" She beamed as I click her in. She wouldn't stop wiggling. "You really are a little wiggle worm aren't you?"
She giggled and shrugged, "fun stuff makes me a squirmy worm...I can't help it."
I laugh as I push her long straight hair from her face. "Okay, ya squirmy little fairy, let's go."
I sit in the front seat and pull back onto the street, glancing back at her smiling as she looked out the window, "how do we feel about a new doll?"
She let a scream rip through her, "a new doll?! Are you serious...I love that idea!!"
I proudly nodded as I make my way toward the American Girl Doll store with her singing Avril Lavigne in the backseat. I never thought I could adore someone else's child so much, but here I am falling inlove with a mother and her incredible daughter.
+Harlow+
When I get back to the apartment, I have a stack of boxes in hand and packing tape I picked up from the UPS store on the way home. I am packing up and we are leaving. I just can't do it with Henry anymore, it's not where we're meant to be.
We need to get out of here however we can. Seb texted me and let me know he took Ava shopping and would come pick me up for dinner out in an hour or so.
A dinner date with my little girl and the man of my dreams...I still can't wrap my head around it. This is impossible to fight.
Henry is out of town for some event today, so I plan on having our stuff all together by the time he gets back tomorrow after his game. If I don't find us an apartment, then we will stay in a motel and toss our stuff in storage, I won't live here with Henry...not after that night.
"Never stay in situations no matter who or what it is if you don't feel safe."
I feel like I'm hearing June alot since the night I realized Henry is so much like our father. The first man that ever broke me, but not the last...funny how that works.
When I hear the door to the apartment open, Ava's feet run in a quick little patter against the stairs. "Momma, Momma, Sebby took me to the doll store and I made a friend!"
My little blondie held up an American Girl Doll that resembled her with a baby blue ballerina outfit. Those aren't cheap, I look up into the doorway as Sebastian appears, he is smiling proudly down at the excited girl dancing infront of me with her most expensive toy she's ever owned.
"Butterfly, she's gorgeous did you thank Sebby? I must say...she looks a bit like you!"
Sebastian chuckled, "she has been thanking me since she picked her up off the shelf and wrapped her arms around her, it was really my pleasure to experience that with her."
He looked at my daughter with an adoring look in his eyes before he gazed around our room, boxes stacked in the corner. "Did you find a place?"
I shrug, "no, but we aren't gunna stay here much longer..." I look at him as Ava plays with her doll on the bed, "it's too hard with him." I shrug and tape shut the box of photos and frames.
He nodded and looked like he wanted to say more but he walked and sat next to Ava on our bed. He put the little red giftbag down next to her, "don't forget her accessories, Tinkerbell."
I giggle, "you sweet, sweet man, you just handed my daughter accessories."
I stand up as Ava brushes her doll's hair, "Ava girl, stay here and play, we'll be back in a minute."
She nods and waves me off without looking up from what she was doing. When the door clicks behind me, a hot curiosity coils in my stomach, then I look at him. Dark chinos and a grey vneck, his tongue flicked his bottom lip. Strong hands grab my hips, lifting me up in a quick maneuver as I wrap by legs around his hips.
I wrap my arms around his neck, "you took my daughter to get...what made you do such a sweet thing?"
He pressed a soft kiss on my lips, "after what she's seen and been through...both of you, I just want to make you beautiful doll's smile. I had a friend growing up and she loved her American Girl Doll so much, so I figured I haven't seen Ava with too many dolls..."
I grab his face with my hands and press my mouth into his, his lips softly gliding against mine, gentle. His tongue tracing my lips, wet and teasing. Our noses bump as I turn and part my lips, whining against his mouth as his tongue plays alongside mine.
His right hand holds me against the wall, pressing me between him and brick. His left hand holding my face as he deepens the kiss, moaning into my mouth as his hand slowly slides to my blouse covered chest. He smiles into the kiss as I whimper with his touch, his fingers pinching my nipple through the thin sheer fabric covering me.
Fuck, I want him.
He kisses me as he slowly lowers me to the floor, "Sebastian, you're...thank you for doing that for her."
He nods proudly, "now, I take my girls to dinner." I smirk and tuck my tousled, shortened hair behind my ear. "That actually sounds amazing, honey."
"I like when you call me that," he nearly whispers as I turn toward the door. I touch his cheek and lean up onto him to plant one more kiss on those plump lips, noticing the pink hue on his cheeks. "Glad I can make you blush, Stan."
He rubbed his cheeks with a shy laugh as I turn into the bedroom. I find Ava with all her new doll stuff, a bright smile on her lips.
"Come on Ava girl, I'm hungry and Seb's taking us for something yummy."
She looks up at me, holding up her hand, "five minutes Momma. I need to change Ana," I smirk. "You named her Ana?"
She nodded as she zipped up a little jacket onto the doll, "yes, so our names sound good together...better than Harlow and Ava...Ava and Ana, like the perfect pair."
I act hurt and lean on the doorway, hand on my chest. I suddenly noticing my sheer peach blouse unbuttoned more than I thought, Sebastian Stan and those hands.
"I like our names together...the best duo ever, Harlow and Ava"
She gave Sebastian a mischievous smile, "not anymore, now it's me and Ana. Sorry not sorry, Momma."
It wasn't long after that we were all sitting around a little table in a tiny, beautiful Italian restaurant. Ava and I are looking around in complete awe of the place, it was the nicest restaurant either of us had ever been into.
"Sebby, this place is like the movies," Ava whispered as her eyes look around at all the beautiful paintings.
I look down at my white pants and sheer blouse feeling underdressed, Ava looking adorable in her little turquoise dress with gold stars all over it, holding her little doll dressed in blue and gold.
"So, about that question I asked you at the bar...Comic Con. What do ya think?" He studied me for a moment looking uneasy, he put his hand on mine as our drinks are set down with bread.
"Seb..the cost." He squeezed my hand, "I guess I should have reiterated and added that it's on me completely. I found you a little job photographing some stuff at the event of you want while we're there or it can just be no work all play. So you could also get a decent paycheck if you want."
I felt my eyes widen, how could I turn that offer down?
I smile at Ava as she just plays enthralled with her new doll, another best from Sebastian. When I look back into those hopeful azure orbs I felt the smile feather my lips.
"Ava, looks like we're going to California in two weeks..."
He let out a breath holding my hand with a bright smile, "I'm so glad you're coming. This is going to be amazing, I can't wait to show you two San Diego and Los Angeles."
Ava wide eyed Seb and then me, "Momma, we've never been there! What, we're going on a trip with Seb?!" She was bouncing in her chair with excitement as I place a hand on her cheek.
"Vacation to Cali with our favorite guy," I say quietly. I glance over to see Sebastian grinning ear to ear with a pink hue on his cheeks.
Ava giggled, "our favorite guy..Sebastian."
I clapped, "oh, I forgot to tell you! Anthony has a friend with a clothing store, they want me to come to a shoot for them instore for wall hangings!"
Everything feels like it could fall into place with him at our side.
Dinner was beautiful, delicious, with the best view...him.
He carried Ava to the car after we finished, her little arms draped around him as she sleeps. I smile at the sight of them, I need him.
Now, it's nearly bedtime and I lay across the living room couch, wine glass in hand thanks to Seb. He was sitting on the chair nearest Ava as she sat before the wooden piano against the wall. Ava told him at dinner that Sunday when she played Henry his birthday song about cake and ice cream, he didn't like it.
The reality is he groaned with a hangover and didn't put on an ounce of excitement for her sake. So with a groan and a dirty look at me...he pretty much brushed her off.
My poor girl feeling rejected.
"I'm so excited to hear your song, Ava. You're gunna be great!" He clapped his hands as she did a little shimmy.
She proudly nodded, she'd pulled on her yellow sweater, buttoning it up before she lined up her fingers above the keys.
"This is called Party Treats," she smiled at him and then me before she starts to play a little whimsical tune perfectly.
I lifted my glass, listening to her as I watch Sebastian melt at the sight of her. His hands holding his face as he's leaned against his knees. His wide cerulean gaze full of wonder. I think he loves her.
When she finishes playing her little hands rest folded in her lap. I put my glass down and start clapping to make a big deal of her talent. When her little caramel orbs look to Sebastian his hand is over his mouth and his eyes are wide with happiness filling them.
"Ava, you are so incredibly talented! Wow!" He stood and walked toward her, crouching before her, "my little fairy...so full of talent."
She giggled as she grabbed his hand with both of hers, "thanks Sebby. I wish Henry liked it...but I'm glad you do."
I noticed a tear in her eyes, but before I could wipe it for her, Sebastian's thumb padded it away. He leaned in and pressed a kiss on her forehead, "you're a special girl Ava. So special, you better not let that slip from your incredible brain, tink. Got it?"
She nodded with a hum before hopping up to her feet, "I'm gunna play with Ana in our room until bed. Is that okay Momma?"
I smirk while she walked toward me, I kiss her cheek, "of course. What a special Monday you've had. I'll be up in twenty for a story."
She nodded and ran her little palm over my cheek before turning to Sebastian, "thanks for the magic Sebby, the dolly is the bestest."
She wrapped him in a hug while he knelt before her. She pressed a kiss on his cheek and twirled around toward the stairs as she tossed her gold shoes toward the door. Messy girl.
She danced up the steps slowly, swaying from side to side, "I love you Momma, love you Sebby!"
She waltzed into our room as I look over at Sebastian, more realization washing over him. I hold his hand, whispering, "please don't get freaked out."
He took in a breath and locked eyes with me, shaking his head, "it's not that."
He looked up at the steps and at me, his cerulean orbs looking into mine, tracing my face as I felt that familiar comfort wash over me.
"The other day, when we were in the kitchen before the party...I was about to tell you something when Bodhi interrupted..."
I giggled, "he is super talented at that. Seriously..every time I see him, he finds a way to ruin a moment."
I look at the way his eyes hang on every word, biting my lip as his hand slowly finds my cheek, holding my face in his hand.
"Harlow, I know it's only been a few weeks, and it's so fast, but I feel myself falling for you."
I felt my breath catch in my throat, the fluttery butterflies fill my gut as he watched me intently.
He looked nervous as I searched for words, but he continued, "after seeing what Corey did, feeling the fury to hurt him worse for you...for her. Lo, I don't think I've ever felt like this before. And as scary as it is, I can't help but feel this pull inside of me to run with it."
I looked up at the second floor before swinging my leg over his lap and straddling him. I look into this intense eyes before pressing my lips softly against his with a hum.
"I'm falling for you too, Sebastian. It's terrifying and so exhilerating...but I am well aware with your life it won't be easy for us."
He peppered kisses all along my jaw and neck, sucking on my collarbone as I let out a whimper under his gentle lips. His touch was like lighting and I, a metal heart.
"It won't be easy, but I think it would be worth it."
I nod and run both my hands through his hair. His eyes screwing shut as he lets a moan escape. "You'd be worth it," I whipser.
I press my lips against his as I feel the tightening knot in my center, the pulsating need for something, anything to stimulate this feeling. I grind my hips against him, feeling a desire for some sort of friction, my sex pooling between my legs as his lips leave wet kisses all over my lips, jaw, and neck. The whines and moans falling from my lips in fluttery whimpers only seeming to encourage him as I feel him harden beneath me, his hands massaging every part of my back and thighs.
I pull away to catch my breath, studying his eyes. I can see how much he cares, how he studies every little tick of mine, I see the way his eyes file those away. He is perfect, but his world is entirely foreign to me. I don't know what this relationship would look like for me, for my daughter, who has been through enough. I don't know how I'd handle the pressure or unkindness that'll come from being wrapped around someone so saut after.
But I love him and he loves us...
I can see it in the way he looks at us,
guess there's no going back now.
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taxi scene in the
evening inspo song:
the maine - taxi
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▪︎Tuesday▪︎
I'm speed walking to Ava's preschool, the afternoon sky is cloudy and a pretty shade of sapphire and slate. Then we will walk to ballet class from here, Ava's been thriving in her activities, and in school. Her teacher says she is ready for kindergarten already. Though, I decided amongst the trauma, and crazy changes surrounding our life, it would be best she stays with her class, on the same schedule she has just perfected. We'll cross that brilliant bridge later on.
I met a woman at Henry's party, Saundra, she is a friend of Henry and Sebastian. Saundra is a nanny, and certified educator with a specialty in child development. She told me she was 'tickled over my daughter' and that she'd never met a four year old like her. She offered me a killer price for a four to six hour slot since she adored Sebastian and seemed pretty smitten with my girl. She also witnessed the afternath of the attack so she has a small idea of Ava's situation which makes me slightly more comfortable.
Even with everything I'm going through with Henry, I want to go enjoy one more yankees game with Sebastian. This time, kid free so I can drink with him, at the place we met. I decide to ask him on a date. I pick up my phone and feel freaking butterflies in my belly. It's always the ringing that turns my stomach with anxiety until they answer.
'Hey angel, how are you?'
I smile into the phone, love that, "on my way to Ava girl's preschool and then to ballet. But what are you up to tonight?"
I let out a nervous breath as he let out a chuckle, 'for you I'd clear my schedule.'
I blush, I can feel it in my ears this time, "I want to ask you on a date to watch the Yankees...this time no Ava, and your doll ready to drink." I walk up to stand infront of that beautiful white building.
Who the hell am I? His doll. Maybe it's 'cause it's over the phone, or all these woman outside the preschool staring must know he wants me...he picked her up yesterday they had to have seen him.
Seb hums into the phone and again that smile I can almost see, 'I love the sound of that, sweetheart. I'm there. Hey, where's her dance class?'
"Why?" I sing, wondering if he is coming.
'Send me address and I'll see you there beautiful Lo.'
"Bye Seb. Drive safe, sweet man."
'Soon, angel girl.'
I felt my breath quicken. Angel girl, this man is making me love him. I send the address and tuck my phone into my brown leather satchel as I look at my apple watch. When I look up, I see a couple moms moving toward me, one being Cindy Reed, classroom parent. Her purple tracksuit is awful, but her overdyed brown hair is so sad. She is the first one to make it to my side, gawking at me like all the other moms.
Is this what it will be like to be with him?
"Was that Sebastian Stan picking up Ava yesturday?" She asked excitedly.
I look at her with a tight lip smile, "I think you know the answer to your question." She rolled her eyes and I smirked at her.
"He will probably be around a bit here and there to pick her up." She opens her mouth to talk but I shake my head when the hear the kids laughter rushing through the door.
Then, Ava runs out in her adorable little white sundress with little sunflowers all over it. I lean down and hug her, grabbing her green and white striped schoolbag, as I hold out the tinkerbell dance bag for her to put on her back. She gives my hand a squeeze before she interlaces our fingers. Little caramel eyes look up at Cindy with a studying stare, this little girl always knows.
When we turn to walk toward ballet, that familiar white SUV rolls up. The window rolls down, and Sebastian is smiling at us. His beautiful jawline, his strong hands gripping the wheel, I swear I've never swooned like I do with him.
"I raced here because I thought my dolls deserved a ride to ballet."
He beamed as he took his sunglasses off. I could here the jaws falling on the floor behind me, perfect.
Ava holds my hand as we rush toward the car. "That was awfully sweet of you, Seb."
"Thanks Sebby," Ava yelled with a twirl before I lifted her into her seat and clicked her in, hopping in myself with a sly smirk at Cindy.
He squeezed my thigh and I held his hand, looking at those adoring eyes. Ava giggling in the backseat as he pulled off onto the street. "Y'know, for friends, you two touch an awful alot."
I turn to look at her, holding onto Seb's hand as we near the recreation building quickly. "Yeah, yeah, I know, but he's pretty. You ready for dance Butterfly?"
She looked at Sebastian with a wide stare, "is Seb staying for my class?"
He chuckled with a nod and the sweetest smile back at her, "I want to see a preview of the big show in a couple months. Is that okay, Prinţesă?"
She smirked, her cheeks pink, she knew that was princess. Ava nodded profusely as we parked, "I can't wait to show you".
Why is this man's so willing to jump in with both feet?
+Sebastian+
A few of my friends have a box with season tickets for me and a guest this season, so we will have a nice semi private space for our date, she asked me on a date. I'm so besotted by this woman, absolutely enamored.
Ballet class for Ava was adorable, she danced in her little blue tutu outfit and white slippers, and she put on quite a show, all smiles toward me. Harlow let me put my arm around her while we sat with the other parents, she's falling into it too. She smells like lavender and something sweet like candy I can't place. She's so sweet, its completely compelling.
I thought I'd feel more intimidated by it, letting myself grow close to a mother and her child. But there is a magic to it, something people without kids don't quite get. Something changes when a woman becomes a mother, there is a shift in the way they see the world and the way they fill their lives. I always watched the way motherhood brings a wholesome nurturing piece of them to the surface.
Harlow is a kind-hearted, adventurous mother that's done something exceptionally amazing with Ava. Its difficult to witness that and not fall absolutely head over heels inlove with her that much faster. I can't stop what's happening, I just don't want this life to hurt them. I can't let them get hurt.
I feel like being here for the stuff, like ballet, is just showing her exactly where my mind is at with them. That is, being with them as much as I can before my world gets crazy with work again. I'm already positive that I want them always, even if I can't be here all the time. That's what is so scary, I'm staring down the tunnel of possibilities for my acting career, while falling for what I want for my forever.
My mind frenzies as Saundra is following the blondes around the apartment, looking into all the spaces she needed to know about for Ava. I looked myself over in the obnoxious mirror in Henry's front hallway, light wash jeans and a black tshirt, I have my yankees hat in too. As Saundra starts working on a workbook with Ava, Harlow trots upstairs to change from her leggings and tshirt. Ava whispers something to Saundra before skipping over to me as I sat down on the grey large sofa.
She climbs onto my lap and beams, "please, make sure mommy has as much fun as me, yesterday?"
I nod and wrap her in a hug, "of course, Tink. Go learn something new from one of the smartest ladies I know."
Saundra laugh, "yeah, right. But thanks for that. Let's do it, Ava."
She really is brilliant, doing some incredible work with kids.
When Lo trots down the steps she's wearing a white blouse with a navy bra underneath and lightwash jeans, her little white pumas pattering quickly, as she holds her yankees hat in hand. She's always so gorgeous.
"Ready to go?" I smile as she nearly glows with something sunny and joyful.
"Beyond ready," she jogs to hug Ava, whispering something in her ear before kissing her cheek and hurrying to grab my hand.
"Thanks again, Saundra! See you tonight!" I yell as we make for the elevator. Harlow giggling, "be good Ava or no sugar for a week!"
+Harlow+
We're sitting at the bar in a large private box with a way better view than Henry's. Sebastian said a few of his friends own it and he had tickets so we wouldn't have to ask Henry, which was a relief for sure. I don't feel like having any conversation with him right now, his behavior Saturday was unacceptable.
We've been having fun, though it took me a bit to loosen up around so many of his friends. The game started with me meeting eight friends of his, Russell was there too, so I knew one other face. I focused on the game for the first few innings, sipping and flirting a bit with Seb as he caught up with friends. As I watched, I quickly felt angry, Henry effortlessly pitching even after he hurt himself last week.
I was a quite a few beers in and the fourth inning is feeling a little less important to me than the feeling of his hands all over me now that we're a little more alone. Onle three of his friends and Russell are left with us in the box. The night sky covered the space around us, peachy and purple hues color the horizon, stunning. His muscular arm is around me and his fingers dancing along my skin all night. Shivers flow down my spine, a breathtaking moment.
I lean up against the armrest, my chest pressing against his arm as I press a small kiss against the warm skin of his neck. He hums and I can't stop the smirk as I let my tongue slowly lick up just under his ear as he bit back noises. The salty taste of his skin and the smell of cedarwood and balsam filling my senses.
"My beautiful doll, there's people around," he whispers, fighting his breathing as he glances over me toward his friends.
I hum, "I don't care, I want to feel close to you, and I have a secret..." I smirk as he turns in his seat to face me, my hands resting on his chest.
I haven't been with anyone in years, I want you.
He let out a low groan, "angel. My sweet girl," he held my face and pressed his wet plump lips against mine in a nurturing kiss.
"Tell me what I know you want to," he pleaded. I shrug, "I think I need a couple more, honey."
He pressed his lips against mine, hungry, I let out a whimper and he deepened the kiss. His tongue dancing and twirling around mine as his hand grabs hold of my hip. I pull away and look at his friends, who are very obviously pretending they don't see what's happening. But the beer haze is covering me with comfort while his hands and cerulean gaze were filling my veins with confidence.
I press my lips against his once more, the kiss was filled with a sensation I can't put my finger on, but it lit a bolt of something that set fire in the pit of my stomach. I whined into his mouth as his arms held me close. My fingers twirling through his hair.
When we part to catch our breath, his eyes search mine for answers. I let out a heavy breath and slowly climb from his lap. "I just want to feel that electrical feeling I get when you touch me."
He cups my chin, pressing a kiss on my nose and lips before turning to get us each another beer. We drank the remainder of the game that the Yankees were losing. By the time the eighth inning hit, I was sloshed and hanging over Seb like a scarf.
"Did you know my parents met at a yankees game?" I chuckle as I drink from my final drink.
My hand found his lap as we all sat around the couches watching the sad end of the game.
Sebastian shook his head, "no, sadly I did not, but I'm learning just how private your brother is since meeting you, Lo."
I felt my heart get heavy, nodding. "Yeah, he uh- it's complicated. I figured he'd atleast share that, we all loved baseball growing up. It's like the only thing that made my parents happy."
My hands play along his thighs wrapped in denim, I could tell he loved it, his hand always playing in my short hair as his eyes remain on me. "Of course, Mr. Perfect had a knack for it and went pro. Dad would have flipped his lid if he was here."
One of Sebastian's friends, James puts his feet up on the glass table infront of us, rude. "Strange Henry never mentioned it."
I ignored him and focus on the pads of Seb's fingers playing along my skin.
"So, Harlow...has Sebby showed you that thing he does that all the other girls before you went on about?"
I could hear the stifled laughter from his friends and the way Seb's body tensed. I quickly chugged back the last of my beer fighting the eye roll, turning to him with a tight lip smile. I glance at Sebastian, and he looked nervous, his knee bouncing next to me.
I smirked back at James and shook my head, "no, not yet, but he will." Sebastian glared at his friend but I stood, moving over and sitting on Sebastian's lap. I lift his beer to my lips as my eyes are locked with the azure gaze of my dreams. Sebastian's tongue flicked across his bottom lip before his hand settles at the back of my neck.
I stand with a giggle to walk over to the bar. I pour us each a beer from the tap with a smirk at him as I lift my beer. I waltz over, leaning over him, my chest right infront of his gaze.
I lean into his ear, whispering, "my secret is that I haven't been with anyone since Corey five years ago when I made Ava."
His eyes widen as I plop down on his lap, handing him his beer as I admire his face and it's reaction. The stubble over his dimpled chin, that jawline that clenched at the thought of him being my first. I settle on the way his blue eyes stare at me in awe, yet so full of questions.
I shrug, "after that night...I always wanted it to mean something. It never did, I haven't let any man in..not until you." I look down and slide from his lap, standing up feeling a rush of shy overwhelm.
I stretch, and giggle when he stares at my midriff. I turn and walk to stand over by the glass to watch the game away from everyone. I feel eyes burning into me, getting the feeling like a couple of his friends don't like me. I mean, I get it, new girl crashing the fun and making out with the in demand actor.
James makes his way to sit nearby in an empty loveseat beside where Seb sits, already giving him a glare. James' stare was on me as I stood nearby, I felt uncomfortable under his eyes, they were dark and the longer he stared, the heavier they felt.
"You still living with Henry?" He asked in an annoying honeyed voice.
I nodded and turned away from him, "in the process of packing to get out of there this week...I'm hoping."
Sebastian's fingers attempted to calm me as they dance along my bare back. I stood infront of him looking down at the diamond. I look over my shoulder at him, sitting at the edge of the seat. I turn and plop down right ontop of his lap again, he's beaming while his fingers play along my arm.
"I think I actually have a lead on an apartment, I'll know for sure tonight or tomorrow, sweetheart."
I smile over at him, kissing his cheek. "That's awesome. Here's hoping."
Then, James scoffs and I feel my stomach turn. When he opens his mouth to talk its almost venomous, "what's it like to live off your loaded brother and then leech onto his equally rich friend?"
Shock, I could feel my jaw hanging open in disgust because I've not asked for anything, much less receiving more than a roof from Henry. I cook for him, with our groceries whenever he is home. I clean the dishes and tidy our messes, but aside from the safe home for the past month, I have always done it all alone. Even June couldn't help too much with all her medical stuff, I always prided myself on using my abilities to give my daughter a beautiful life...aside from Corey.
So that dig by a near stranger, it hit deep and suddenly I couldn't lift my gaze from the floor. I just wanted to leave, I've never been handed anything in my life, not even safety. Not once. I just don't want to defend myself to someone who doesn't matter, a piece of me is very aware that soon I will have to defend my character often.
Sebastian's hands made way to my cheeks lifting my gaze to his. Without saying anything he kissed my forehead as his hands run through my hair, he already knows what calms me.
"Let's get you home, angel girl."
His hand went through my short hair and then rested on my shoulder with a protective grip.
James let out a drunken chuckle, it held some sort of malice, "oh fuck, bet this girl loves getting her hair pulled."
"What the fuck is wrong with you?" Sebastian spat loudly. I can feel Seb's hands give me a small squeeze before the tension thickens.
All I can think about is the monster that won't stop hunting us, and the feeling of his spider fingers in my hair.
+Sebastian+
"James, just go. We were having a decent time...even with the Yankees losing." Russell stood angrily and walked up to the raven haired douchbag.
I've always hated this asshole.
"What? So I get to watch them all but fuck eachother all night but I can't ask a question?" James stood up and finally looked around at everyone, his eyes heavy with alcohol as he stumbled. Oh, great he's fucked up and hell bent on being a dick.
Fuck. The hair pulling.
Russell scoffed, "you can ask questions, but you can't be an asshole...not to her."
Russell looks over at her with a sad stare. I look at my sweet girl, and her eyes are still focused on the floor, that hit her hard.
I look at Russell, "we're gunna go." She leaned into me as if to agree, her hands gripping on my shirt. With her eyes still down on the floor, "thanks for the game guys."
Russell gave me a sympathetic smile, "I'll text you guys tomorrow, drive safe."
There is silence as I nod to my friends and give James a stare I know he understood, I'll kick his ass if I see him again.
We walk quietly from the box and through the stadium, I just trace shapes against her skin to let her know I'm here. I don't want to pry, my poor girl and all that trauma. Then a fucking asshole when she didn't need it. I see her fighting to keep it all inside, she's so strong.
We make it onto the city pavement, bodies rushing by as her grip on my shirt tightens. The way her head hangs, it's breaking my heart. I stop walking, placing my hands gently on her shoulders to turn her to face me. Standing next to the brick wall nearby.
I crouch down and look into her caramel tear coated eyes, "my sweet girl. I'm so sorry for that asshole, we won't be seeing him again."
She nodded and pressed the heels of her hands into her eyes, "I just- I don't like people thinking that. Henry, he didn't.. I've done it all alone for so long. He never really-"
I pull her into my chest, "I know that sweetheart... you're strong and capable, look at Ava baby, you did that, you. Let's get you home, angel."
She blushes and looks up at me, her face flush from the beer and sadness. "Seb, I like it when you call me angel...my birthday is on Christmas, y'know?"
No, I didn't, why didn't I know that?
"No, no I didn't Angel, how special. This will be my favorite Christmas ever then."
She giggled, "you're too charming for your own good. Like a Disney Prince but better...more depth."
I let out a loud laugh, "a Disney prince with more depth. That's quite the compliment."
She nodded as I wrapped my arms around her. I stand straight and wave for a cab. She ran her hand over my cheek, "you sure as hell act like a damn prince or a knight in shining armor...something along those lines."
Now, I'm blushing, she is so sweet.
We climb into the backseat and I rattle off Henry's address. When the taxi takes off she clings to me, her legs over my lap and her hands holding a grip on my bicep for dear life. I look down at her nails painted white, and those delicate little hands.
"Is the sadness everlasting?" The whisper in her voice was so faint, she looked at her hands.
I pull her close, looked down into her eyes, "I think it is, but there'll be happiness and unforgettable love...I can't say that I can make you feel complete or free from worry. But... you'll never be lonely."
Her head leans against my arm, her pink lips releasing a hummed sigh.
"Never be lonely..." she pressed her lips against mine softly. Her mouth latching to mine with a need I hadn't felt from her before.
She hummed into my mouth as her grip softens. When we separate, she gives me a sweet smile and lays her head on my chest, he legs still over my lap.
I watch the beer haze slowly let her drift away, her hazel eyes fluttering shut. My sleepy little drunk.
A few minutes later, I'm tracing shapes on her jean adorned thighs as she mumbles in her sleep. "But I love him and I'm-"
She whimpers for a few moments.
"Scared and broken. A ruiner..."
"Gotta get away from Henry, he's like Dad."
I watched as she held onto me.
What the hell is happening. I gotta get them outta this apartment.
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tw: verbal abuse
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▪︎ Wednesday ▪︎
▪︎morning▪︎
After tucking Harlow in with Ava last night, I hurried home to check with Leighton about her apartment. She has a job overseas and a longterm family situation down south, so she is looking to rent out her place for next to nothing. She confirmed everything with me and when I explained Harlow and Ava a bit more, she was more than happy to include the furniture she was just going to donate. She's always been such a good friend.
So here I am driving to Henry's with doughnuts, asiago bagels and vegetable cream cheese with orange juice for Ava, her favorites, and caramel coffee for my Lo. I'm so excited to tell them we can get them out of there and somewhere new...and closer to me, literally two floors away. I told Harlow to call the movers last night over text like we talked about at the game.
I've been playing her sleep talking over in my head all night. She loves me, she carries anxiety thinking she'll be the one to ruin it, and Henry is like their dad...whatever that means. He never talked about family, I know their parents died in a crash and he took care of Harlow until she was 18, but I don't know about their life before that. I barely knew a thing about my special Lo until I had time around her myself.
There is extra pep in my step as I make my way into the door Norm held open. The old white bearded man smiling wide at the sight of me holding food for my girls.
"Off to see the blonde wonders?" He grinned as he leaned back on his wooden desk. I nodded, "of course."
He knocked on the wood, "they seem to shine a little brighter around you Mr. Stan."
What a kind thing to say.
"Thank you, sir. I like to hear that, they're pretty important to me."
He smiled as I stepped into the lift with a nod, antsy to get upstairs and see my girls. Ava always loved the sight of food and juice, and I love to see them smile.
When I step off the elevator I can hear screaming, angry echoes and I immediately recognize the voice of Henry. I rush for the door, knowing I need to see them, safe. I turn the handle and thank whatever in the universe had it unlocked as I charge in throwing the food and drinks onto the hallway table.
When I round the corner into the mainroom, there in the kitchen is Harlow shielding Ava from Henry who hovered over them, standing widely, screaming at the tiny little ballerina and her sad mother. Tears flow from both blonde's eyes as I run toward Henry. I push him back, harder than I thought I did. His back hitting the counter, seemingly snapping him from his angry tyrant. His eyes settle on the two broken pieces of his family coward on the floor before him, Harlow's arms around Ava as her eyes stare at the floor covered in milk.
"Ava, baby girl I'm so sorry," he searched the girls as I press my hand against his chest. "Why were you screaming like that?" I search his blown wide pupils.
"I just- I don't know..." He almost whispers as his eyes finally settle on mine.
Ava sniffled and stood, wrapping her arms around my leg, "I spilled the milk. It was heavy and I dropped it."
I looked over my shoulder as Harlow wiped her tears and sighed, scowling at Henry. "We have movers coming in thirty Henry. We're leaving, I can't do this anymore."
Ava's little hands hold onto me for dear life, "Ava, can I hold you so I can walk with Momma?"
She nodded as I lift her into my arms, resting her on my hip as I rush for Lo. "I have a place, Angel, an apartment." I grab her hand and ignore Henry's eyes burning into me.
"You...you found a place in my budget?" I nodded and she let the sobs falls, wrapping her shaking arms around Ava and I.
She looked at me and motioned for upstairs as she turns to Henry. I hold Ava as her little face presses into the crook in my neck.
I hear the sobs from Harlow, I just want to make them smile. These girls deserve true joy and unimaginable love. I'm gunna give it to them.
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