Underage drinking is bad but this is the 70s
Your POV
I was studying once again in the library in a corner with a candle that gave a nice light. Over the course of a few weeks, much has happened and it's been hectic. I can admit it's kind of better, only a little better, than being alone and bored.
It has been a distraction, I can't seem to focus on any of my studies, and my grades are slipping. I grumble lowly as I search the transfiguration book for what I need for the third time and it still didn't have it.
I look up when I hear someone coming over to see that it is once again Remus. "I am going to try this again," He holds his hands up in surrender, "I am pretty good at transfiguration." He says, taking a seat slowly.
I sigh a little, "you really just want to be friends?" I eye him as he nods, "No ulterior motives?"
"No," He sighs a bit and runs a hand through his hair, "I just, I infected you, I can't leave it like that."
I study the scars that dot his face and the earnest soft way about him. I turn my notes around to him, "all I could think about during the lesson today was my newest bout of detention and I wrote down all the notes, but don't understand a thing I wrote."
He smiles a little, before taking the notes and looking at them.
"So," He says later when he is walking me back to the Slytherin common room, "if you don't mind me asking, what, what happened with you and Sirius?"
I breathe, "I don't know," I try to think back to pinpoint the exact time we may have fought or something but nothing comes to mind. "when Sirius and I were kids we clung to each other, I guess that just didn't translate well. In reality, I think that is a question for him. He stopped talking to me first." I hold my head up defiantly.
Xxx
"Come together, right now, over me," I murmur to myself as I push snow off to the side.
"You still listen to the Beatles?" I look over, Sirius didn't look mad or upset, just impassive.
I step gingerly with my words, "Of course," I clear my throat, "you know they've always been my favorite."
He seems to ponder a moment and scoops up some more snow, "have you heard that album they only released in America in 1970? I didn't even know it existed."
I stop shoveling and look at him, curiosity overflowing, "um, I don't really get let out of the house anymore," He looks at me with this odd, unsure look on his face, "I still just have the one Beatles record." The one Andromeda gave us when we were ten and he let me keep because it was my birthday.
He nods slowly and doesn't say anything, just continues to shovel.
The next day, I head for my seat in detention to find an 8-track tape waiting for me. It's the Beatles one Sirius was talking about with a note in fancy writing, "just don't let it eat my tape." I smile slightly and glance at him, but he is focused on Binns.
That night, I pull the 8-track player that I somehow rigged with magic onto my bed and shut the curtains, put a silencing charm on them. (the author says stuff like that is possible for moments like these.)
And anytime you feel the pain, hey Jude, refrain,
Don't carry the world upon your shoulders.
For well you know that it's a fool who plays it cool
By making his world a little colder.
- Hey Jude, The Beatles, Hey Jude 1970
Sirius POV
"Delivery for you Padfoot," Moony holds my 8-track out to me with another below it, Aerosmith.
"What's this?" I ask him, looking it over, I didn't have it, it was too new.
Moony smiles a little, "She just said don't let it eat my tape." I study it as I slowly make my way to the boy's staircase.
Leaving the things that are real behind
Leaving the things that you love from mind
All of the things that you learned from fears
Nothing is left for the years
- Toys in the Attic, Aerosmith, Toys in the Attic 1975
Your POV
"I don't know, Remus." I grimace, thinking over his request.
Remus shrugs, "they are a little crazy, but you can just hang out with Lily and me while we babysit." He grins, passing me his notes.
A Gryffindor party sounds very crazy, not just a little, but I shrug a bit, "I think you will be the only one happy to see me there."
"Nah," He brushes off, "Lily is excited to meet you." I laugh a bit at that.
"Fine."
It was crazy, it was a Gryffindor party in 1975, it was bound to be crazy. I sit with Lily and Remus on a couch and we watch our insane counterparts do insane things.
When Sirius sees me, a frown meets his face, and his jaw sets as he takes a swig from his beer. I look away with a huff, "so, you knew Sirius as a kid?" Lily calls over the noise.
"Yeah," I reply, turning to look at her.
"What was he like?"
I shrug, "the same, just a little more unbridled chaos." I look over at him again, his face was the same, his hair was longer because his parents used to cut it, and those grey eyes are still the most enticing I have ever seen. I clear my throat, "and nicer."
Xxx
"Isn't this a little childish?" Lily grimaces as the circle forms.
It was now twelve in the morning and a select group, selected by James, of people were being forced, I mean choosing to play spin the bottle. She's not wrong. Sirius claps his hands together with an unsettling smirk, "wouldn't you do the honors than Evan's?"
She grumbles and tries to protest, but ends up spinning the bottle anyway, and much to James' chagrin it lands on Remus. The way they just shrug and peck each other's lips makes me think they've done it before. Remus lands on Sirius. Sirius grins, "Come here, lover boy."
"Shove off." He replies and rolls his eyes, making his way over to him.
"Owowowow." James calls out and Marlene McKinnon joins in.
Sirius laughs, his cheeks are all red from the alcohol and he spins the bottle easily. This is such a Sirius type of game. I guess I ruined it when it landed on me. His face fell, and his lip curled a bit. "I won't." The way the whispers flew about told me that was the first time he wouldn't.
Embarrassment floods me and I glare at him, "I don't want to get herpes anyways." I cross my arms.
His lip curls at that, "and I don't want your death eater lips on me."
I stand up angrily, "stop calling me a death eater," I growl, "you have way more death eaters in your family than I do and your mother is beyond more evil than mine, so If anybody should worry about death eater lips it should be me." I say lowly and storm out.
"Hey, hey, you are the one that's a Slytherin, you are the one fraternizing with the enemy!" He shouts and I turn around watching him jump out of the portrait hole.
"I don't "fraternize"," I use air quotes for emphasis, "with anybody, the only people I "fraternize" with is of the Ancient and Most Noble House of Black!" I say dramatically with a bite.
"The enemy!" He bites back, face screwed up. He hovers over me with a sneer. "My family is the enemy."
"Regulus and Andromeda?" I cross my arms and raise an eyebrow.
His face loses its anger slightly, "snake." He mutters.
My lip curls, "the only person on the planet Sirius Black won't kiss." I don't know why it hurt, why I couldn't stop thinking about it.
He shakes his head a bit and wraps his hand around the back of my neck, not roughly. He pauses first and looks me in the eyes, waiting for me to push him away or tell him no. Part of me was thinking this is insane, we hate each other, but the other part, a very big part thought that was actually really hot. Then he kisses me hard, in a good way. For a second he pulls me closer and it seems like he's not going to stop and then he pulls away, "there." He grumbles and I catch his face absolutely searing red, as he walks back toward the portrait.
((Remember, consent is a verbal yes, but this is a story and that was hot for story sake I think personally
My heart is racing and my own face is red, all of my feelings are confused, "I hate you." It came out more flat and less mad than intended.
"I do more." He calls back as he disappears through the passageway.
Sirius POV
My eyes grow as the portrait shuts behind me and the freak out starts to grow. Everyone looks over as I walk in, some whispering and others voicing loud disapproval, but I avoid that and quickly grab James and a beer. When I sit down in the safety of my bed, I take a good swig, "what the fuck?" I gag out, shocked at my own actions.
"What?" James looks me over, "what did you do?" He gives me a concerned, suspicious look.
I cough, the consternation still written across my features, "I kissed her."
"You like her? I thought you hated her." He begins to smirk and pat my back.
I shove his hand away, "I don't, I mean I do, hate her." I assert and take another swig of the beer.
"Then why?" He trails off knowing that I knew what he was asking. He takes the beer from me, ultimately deciding rightfully that I shouldn't continue.
I lie back and blink a few times, "I-" I pause and gulp, "I didn't want her to think I hated her more than others."
"Padfoot," James sighs, shaking his head, "that makes no sense." He jumps over me and lays down too, "I don't think you really hate her, I think you've just been mad for too long."
I take a breath and throw the bad thoughts from my mind when tears try to make an appearance, "she abandoned me." I finally say, never having said it aloud, never having told anyone.
"Did you ever ask her why?" James tilts his head and shrugs.
Your POV
That morning an owl delivers my 8-track back to me along with another one. This time it's The Who, Who's Next.
When I walked in through the door
Thought it was me I was looking for
She was the first song I ever sang
But it stopped as soon as it began
- The Who, The Song is Over, 1971
As the track plays for the second time, I think about it again. I try and try to convince myself I didn't enjoy it and that he repulses me. I try to remind myself of how much of a jerk he is. I just keep remembering how much we used to care about each other and it doesn't help.
He still pisses me off and if he is going to be an asshole, so will I.