Kabanata 31: Permission to Make Her Mine
The moment that I've been waiting for finally came.
I've gathered enough courage to confess to Sunshine one night. Ininvite ko siya to hang out with my band in Lionel's bistro ara mapanood niya rin ang pagtugtog namin. I was only planning to invite her alone pero dahil narinig ni Greggy ang usapan namin, napasama tuloy ang buong barkada.
"HELLO BRADER HANSON!"
"Hey guys. Good evening." I smiled as I took a high five with my friends in the parking lot. Pinasundo ko na sila kay Kuya Kiko para sabay sabay na silang dadating dito but my forehead creased when I saw that Sunshine's missing.
"Where's Sunshine?"
"Yieeeee. Nag-aalala siya~"
"Bakit naman kaya~?"
"Tinatanong pa ba yan~?" Napangiwi ako when all of them gave me malicious stares and that annoying singing tone.
"Stop it. Hindi kayo makakatapak sa bistro if you continue doing that." Sabay-sabay na nawala ang ngiti nila before they started explaining.
"Sabi nga namin nasa bahay pa nila."
"Pinauna niya nalang kami kasi kaya niya naman daw sarili niya."
I nodded bago ko sila sinenyasan na pumasok na sa bistro. Everyone's mouth parted in amazement dahil sa itsura nito that made me laugh. Even my reaction was like that when I first entered the Lionel Bistro.
I ordered a drink for everyone as they tried dancing on the dance floor. Madalas dito ang matatanda na may mga kapartner na sa buhay kaya naman walang masyadong nangyayaring gulo unlike sa mga normal na bars.
"Hanson brader! Sayaw naman tayo oh!" My eyes widened when the three J's went back to me while trying to pull me to the dance floor.
"No no. Please, I'm not in the mood guys."
"Nako nako nako! Hindi pwede brad!" Jethro said before pulling me harder. "Wag KJ! Minsan lang naman tayo magbonding eh!"
"Atsaka ang hindi tatayo hindi magkakagirlfriend!" John said that made me stand up.
"Wohohoy! Takot na takot! Mukha nagbabalak ah?!" It was Japhet's turn and all of them shouted like gays again.
"Mga gago! Tara na nga!" I laughed before pushing them back to the dancefloor.
Nakisayaw lang ako sa kanila sandali before I quietly sneaked out to call Sunshine. The line was busy on my first and second call but she finally answered on my third try.
"Nasa parking lot na kami." My eyebrow automatically raised after what she said.
"Parking lot? Why? You brought a car?" That was just a guess but I heard her laughing like that was the most absurd thing I've said.
"Baliw! May pambili ba ako? Kasama ko si Du-ke! Pinahits ako ng ride." My eyebrow raised again when I heard Duke on the line.
"Yow men! Kasama ko na si Binibining Sinag ng Araw!"
I didn't know what I felt. Am I jealous?.
"When did the two of you become close?"
But I think I shouldn't be jealous. Kilala ko naman kung sino talagang type ni Duke.
"Ewan ko dude. May spark ata!" I bit my lip when I heard both of them laughing on the other line.
Okay fine. Sila na ang close.
I took a drink from my cocktail drink before looking at the entrance. My heart beat raised when I saw Sunshine walking cutely with the skirt and a pink shirt on. Ang sarap video-han ng reaction niya while her eyes are busy roaming around the bistro.
"This may be the first time that you'll hear me say this. But you look really beautiful tonight." It's the first time I complimented her and I didn't expect anything in return.
"T-Thank you. Ikaw din naman. Ang gwapo mo."
The music's so loud that's why we need to stay close to each other. I feel her breath tickles on my ear everytime she says something. Things were going right during that evening until Queenie arrives.
"Oh. Ang dami natin ngayon ah! Are they your friends, Hanson?"
My forehead creased for a few seconds when Sunshine moved to another couch. I almost pushed Queenie away and pull Sunshine beside me again pero pinigilan ko nalang.
"Yes. Please greet them Queenie."
Queenie, being her usual self clung into my arms. It was just normal to me sa Scholastica but I suddenly wanted to push her away again ng makita kong halos mabuga ni Sunshine ang iniinom niya. I was about to give her a tissue but Ouie was already there beside her.
The moment our band set foot on the stage, agad sumibol ang kaba sa dibdib ko. What I was about to sing was not supposed to be a gratitude song. But I know that it was not the perfect time to confess kaya naman nagpatuloy nalang ako.
I became nervous when I didn't see her on the couch. Akala ko tatakasan niya rin ako but I didn't lose hope. I started roaming my eyes around the bistro and I smiled in relief when I saw her standing while her eyes are fixed on mine.
"Thank you for making me smile again. This song is for you."
I decided to postpone my confession. But after that day, I secretly sent signals towards Sunshine. Alam kong gusto ko siya but then again, fear creeps in my heart everytime I see her smiling with me. Ayaw ko pa ring matulad sa kanila ni Ouie.
I can't afford to lose her dahil lang sa one sided feelings ko sa kanya.
It was our intramurals day and we're all preparing for the basketball game. Kahit na ayaw ko sana sumali ay pinilit talaga ako nung coach ng Air Benders while telling me that I'll be one of their group's winning card.
"Hanson brader. Tignan mo yung mga girls oh." Natigil ako sa pag-aayos ng sintas ng sapatos ko nang bulungan ako ni Japhet sa katabing bench.
"Ano bang meron Japhet?" Umangat ang ulo ko and started roaming my eyes around the gymnasium.
Girls are screaming and cheering on the bleachers. So what's wrong with that?
"Ang lalaki kasi ng mga ngiti eh. Tapos tilian pa ng tilian." Natawa ako bago napailing. "Tignan mo nga yang si Sunshine oh, halos mapunit na ang mga labi sa kakasigaw sa vlogger na yan."
Nagsalubong ang mga kilay ko at hinanap kaagad si Sunshine sa bleachers. I saw her eyes twinkling and shouting Nathaniel Campbell's name along with the other girls. Napainom tuloy ako ng tubig while staring at her.
Damn. Why can't she look at me the same way?
Nagsimula na ang game and we are the first teams to play along with the Water Guards. I was able to concentrate for the first and second quarters kaya naging dikit ang laban namin. But when I looked back to Sunshine's direction during the third quarter, I started losing control.
Masyadong madikit sa kanya yung kasama nila ni Leander. I know he is Sunshine's friend but why does it look like he's taking her for granted? Hindi ako madaling manjudge but it's making my blood boil.
"Hanson! Anong nangyayari?! Please focus!"
"Sorry Coach." I bowed down while clenching my fist.
"Dapat manalo tayo okay? Teamwork and presence of mind everyone and specially you Hanson!" Tumango ako before we went back to the court again.
"Just ignore them Hanson." Umangat ang tingin ko kay Ouie na nagpipigil ng tawa while tapping my shoulder. "Walang mangyayari sa atin if you continue being like that."
I took Ouie's words seriously. Nagfocus nga ako sa game but I still felt distracted with Sunshine being with the two guys beside her. We were about to lose the game when her voice echoed in the whole gymnasium.
"KAPAG HINDI KAYO NANALO, WAG NA WAG NIYO NG IPAPAKITA ANG MGA PAGMUMUKHA NIYO SA AKIN! NAKATAYA ANG BAON KO DITO KAYA UMAYOS KAYO!"
I was pissed. Totally pissed because of Sunshine's behavior during the basketball game.
Aware naman ako na kaibigan at kasama niya sa team si Vince. She's also a friend to Leander kaya wala akong panlaban lalo na't nauna sila sa buhay niya. Pero bakit ba napaka-comfortable niya around boys? Bakit kailangan pa na majority ng mga kaibigan niya ay lalaki na ikinaseselos ko?
That's why I cornered her and drag her to a storage room. My tongue slipped and I finally said to her that I'm freaking jealous. But Ihad no regrets when I saw how her cheeks blushed under the dim light of the room.
"Wag ka ng magselos sa kanila. Iba pa rin naman ang tingin ko sayo kaysa sa ibang mga lalaking kaibigan ko. Y-You're different because you're special to me, Hanson."
She left me hanging on that room with my lips parted. It took me minutes to finally absorb what she said. Shit. Dapat na nga talaga akong maniwala kay Ouie.
An ecstatic feeling suddenly rose inside my chest kaya hindi ko na mapigilan ang ngiti ko habang naliligo at nagpapalit ng damit sa locker room. After taking a bath, I immediately went to find Sunshine in the corners of the school. I wanted to be with her all day or might as well take the day as a chance to properly confess to her.
Ilang minuto din akong nagpaikot-ikot sa ACHS until I spotted her with Poli. She was totally surprised to see me standing in front of her and immediately dodged my questions. Sabi niya pa nga na hindi niya ako iniiwasan pero kitang-kita naman na kabado siya.
Seeing her like this makes my heart beat race. Okay lang kahit iwasan niya ako, atleast her movements gave me enough reason to show her what I truly feel before the day ends.
Habang nagpapakilala si Poli sa mga classmate namin, nabuo na ang decision ko to confess to Sunshine. But then, jealousy creeped inside my heart again when I saw her talking to Bryle. Bumalik ang pagkabad mood until we went to the cafeteria to eat our lunch.
My jealousy was added with another factor which is Ouie na naging ka share niya sa iisang table because we already lack space.
"Ate Gandaaa~! Sama ako~!" Poli was about to go with Sunshine pero kaagad akong humarang.
"Wag kang sasama sa kanila Poli. Bad guy yang kasama ni Ate Sunshine. Nangangain siya ng tao!" I saw how the blood on Poli's face flushed due to what I've said.
I took a glance at Sunshine and saw her with a puzzled look. She might be wondering kung anong sinabi ko kay Poli.
Psh. Bakit ba kasi siya nagpahuli sa pila? Mas gusto niya bang makasama si Ouie sa akin?
"Kung nakamamatay ang tingin, siguro pinaglalamayan na sina Sunshine at Ouie ngayon." It took me seconds to snap back to my senses bago ko nilingon sina Greggy na nagpipigil ng tawa.
"What are you talking about?" I said while my eyebrows are furrowed.
"Nako naman Hanson. Umamin ka nalang kasi sa feelings mo kay Sunshine!" Gracie said before pointing her index finger towards me. "Ina-advicean ka na namin as your friends."
"Kasi kapag ikaw talaga naunahan, nakow!" Happy said bago siya umiling. "Bahala ka na talaga sa buhay mo!"
Napainom ako ng soda before my eyes went back to Sunshine. I was too damn curious on what they're talking about. But basing on their expressions, specially with Ouie, I guess they are having a serious conversation.
Did Ouie wanted to pursue her again? O sinasabi niya bang sinusubukan niya ng kalimutan si Sunshine?
Oh damn. Wag naman sana yung una.
After eating our lunch, we parted ways with our friends again. Magkakasama nanaman kami nila Poli at Sunshine while going back to the booth area. Poli wanted to take pictures that's why we granted his simple wish even if we're still kinda awkward.
"Ate Ganda! Kuya Gwapo! Kayo naman pong magpicture na dalawa!" I saw how Sunshine stiffed with Poli's suggestion.
Papayag na sana ako pero napasimangot ako when she refused. Nabadtrip nanaman ako but Poli was able to finally sway her. We took different poses until I decided to do a one of a kind move.
I positioned myself on her back, gave her a slight to moderate hug and placed my chin at the top of her head. It was the best shot compared to all shots kahit na medyo awkward ang ngiti niya. Atleast, I was able to get this cute photograph with her that I'll definitely treasure forever.
"Ate Sunshine? Ano pong hinahanap niyo?" Poli said while looking at Sunshine with both of our eyebrows furrowed.
She was in the state of panic when she announced to us that she lost her phone. I sighed in frustration when she wanted me to go home with Poli habang susubukan niyang hanapin yung phone niya. Ngunit nagmatigas ako at sinabing babalikan ko siya.
I can't just leave her like this. Hindi ako mapapakali sa bahay kung hindi ko pa rin maaamin sa kanya ang nararamdaman ko.
Hinatid ko na si Poli sa bahay nila and quickly went back to the school. Bago ako pumasok ng gate ay binigyan ko ng pera si Kuya Kiko and ordered him to go home first, leaving me with the car that he drives for me.
"Ingat po kayo sa pagdadrive Sir ha? Baka pagalitan ako ng Dad at Mama niyo kapag may nangyari sayo." I chuckled before tapping Kuya on his shoulder.
"Don't worry Kuya. Magiging maingat ako." Kuya Kiko made face before giving me a pat on my shoulder also.
"Binata na nga talaga ang alaga ko. Mukhang ilang buwan nalang talaga ang magiging pakinabang ko sayo." Umiling ako before soothing him with words.
Nagdadrama nanaman si Kuya Kiko. Nasanay naman na ako sa ganitong scenario because he was already by my side since elementary days. But I must admit that he no longer needs to escort me dahil gumagaling naman na talaga akong magdrive.
"Sige ha? Aalis na ako. Kita nalang tayo sa bahay niyo." I nodded before waving at him. He already turned his back against me but he returned and suddenly whispered something that made my cheeks heat up.
"Pero wag ka munang masyadong mapusok, Hanson ha? Ayaw ng mga babaeng-"
"KUYA! You know that I'm not like that! I know my limits."
Tumawa si Kuya Kiko bago ako mismo ang nagpara ng taxi para sa kanya. I bid him farewell for the last time at muling pumasok sa ACHS.
Kakaunti nalang ang estudyante ngayon because it was already getting darker. I was about to contact Sunshine to get an idea kung nasaan siya while walking but I halted when I saw her talking with Leander from afar. They were both laughing and it really made my heart ache for a second.
What if nami-misinterpret ko lang ang lahat ng sinasabi at kinilos niya? I was thinking that we have something special between each other but what if I was only the one stuck in that imagination?
Tumalikod ako and started running towards the school's garden. Balak ko na talagang iwanan si Sunshine after I'll take a deep breath under the tree kung hindi ko lang narinig ang pagsigaw niya sa may hallway.
"Shit. Please don't get yourself in danger again."
Bumalik ako sa pagtakbo sa hallway and saw her sitting on the ground while reaching for his foot. I shouted her name and started checking her kung anong problema. Hindi siya nag-ingat kahit na madulas ang daanan that's why she slipped and probably twisted her ankle or naipit ang ugat niya sa paa.
After joining Red Cross Youth during my junior high school days, I gained an experience in treating and handling minor injuries. Hinilot ko lang ang paa niya and she was able to feel normal again.
I stared at her when she started to look so amazed with what I did. Matutuwa na sana ako dahil masaya but then, the picture of her with Leander came into my mind.
"B-Bakit ganyan ka makatingin? May problema ba?"
"Oo"
"Ano?"
"Ikaw."
"Huh? B-Bakit ako?" There she goes with her innocent and puzzled expression kaya naman hindi na ako nag-abalang magbigay ng reason sa kanya and carried her on my back.
Both of us were hot tempered during that time kaya muli nanaman kaming nagkataluhan. But it was a blessing in disguise because I was finally able to blurt out my what I really feel due to the so called bugso ng damdamin.
Sunshine was speechless for the first few seconds but I was offended when she started laughing. Napanganga ako at napabuga ng hininga sa ere dahil sa pagkainis.
"Why are you laughing? Do you still see me as a joke after all this time? Ganun ka na ba ka-"
My heartbeat raced so fast when Sunshined leaned down on me and let our lips touch each other. It was only a smack, a smooch, or whatever they call that kind of kiss but it was enough to make me go crazy.
The fvck? Did she really kiss me first?
"W-Wag ka na ngang magselos. Para kang tanga, nakakainis na."
We left ACHS with both smiles plastered on our faces while our hands are entertwined with each other. It was a heart fluttering moment to feel the warmth of her hands on mine. Kahit na wala pang go signal na kami na, a thorn was still plucked out of my chest na parang kami na talaga.
While driving, I kept on stealing glances towards her. When the green traffic light started blinking, I took as an opportunity to stare at her intently.
Oh please, God. Hindi naman siguro to magandang panaginip na kung magulat ako, magigising ako and we're back to being zero again.
"Hoy. Wag mo nga akong titigan ng ganyan. Nakakailang." Sunshine was covering her face when she turned to me. Napatawa niya ako dahil dun before I reminisced our second encounter.
"Kailan nga ba yung first encounter natin? Bakit wala akong maalala?"
Sunshine was still clueless about our first encounter during the enrollment but I didn't bother to make him remember kahit na nakakapanghinayang. Siguro ay malakas na talaga ang impact ng personality niya sa akin right from the start kaya hindi ko na siya nagawang makalimutan at nahulog ako sa kanya kalaunan.
Our romantic driving moment together with my plans of asking her for a dinner was ruined when she remembered that October 12 was a special day for the most important man of his life.
Hindi naman ako naasar dahil alam kong marami pa naman kaming pagkakataon pwede kaming magkasama. Naiinis lang ako dahil sumusobra na ata ang pagiging makakalimutin niya.
She was unprepared and had no money for a simple surprise kaya naman I came into rescue. We bought a cake and went to convenience store to buy ice cream even if its against her will. Hindi naman ako papayag that she'll come emptyhanded kaya sinabi ko nalang na utang para pumayag siya.
Pero siyempre hindi ko siya pagbabayarin. Siya lang sapat na-Oh geez. I've got goosebumps.
Habang pumipili ako ng ice cream sa freezer, I saw her eyes got fixed on a headband. I stopped myself from laughing when she started to rant about the price of the headband to the lady at the counter. She didn't buy the headband in the end kaya palihim akong lumapit sa counter while carrying the ice cream on my hands to check it out.
"Ate, ano pong gusto nung babae kanina na headband?"
"Ay! Yung girlfriend mo ba boy?" My cheeks heated up with the word 'girlfriend' but I chose to nod. "Eto oh. Andami niyang sinabi pero hindi niya binili kahit na halata namang gustong-gusto niya. Kuripot ba talaga yang girlfriend mo?"
I chuckled before nodding again at kinuha yung headband sa istante. I checked the items out and she surprisingly gave me two rings na freebies for the items. When I called Sunshine para umalis na kami, I hurried to hide the headband on my bag.
"Huy Hanson. Sa tingin mo ba may saltik yung babaeng yun?" I turned towards Sunshine at dahil medyo paranoid ako na nakita niya yung binili ko...
"Huh? I didn't do anything."
When we arrived at their house, nakita namin sina Happy at Greggy sa gate nila. Sunshine looks surprised and surprised at the same time when both of them handed her phone to her.
"Hindi ako burara! Nadukot to kanina! Nakita ko sa may CCTV Footage!"
I stared at her as she continue looking at her phone. She looks bothered but I didn't ask about it anymore. Ang importante lang naman ay naibalik na sa kanya ang cellphone niya.
Inaya na kami ni Sunshine na pumasok sa bahay nila and I immediately gulped when I saw his Dad. Nagmano kaming tatlo sa kanya but he lost focus on us when Sunshine showed him the cake that we bought. He looked so happy until Greggy insisted us to sing a 'Happy Birthday Song' to him.
Habang hinahanda nila Sunshine ang pagkain sa lamesa, I received a message from Mama. I was typing a reply to her para sabihing nasa bahay ako ng kaibigan ko ng makita ko ang Dad ni Sunshine na naglalakad palapit sa akin. My legs automatically moved making me stand up ang bow slightly to him.
"H-Happy Birthday po Sir-"
"Bakit mo ako sini-Sir? Teacher mo ba ako?"
I felt all of my blood got flushed away from my body. I never knew that this man infront of me can be super scary. Napakagaan kasi ng aura niya kanila Happy and Greggy kanina pero naging iba pagdating sa akin.
"Uhm. Ano po bang gusto niyong itawag ko sa inyo?"
I'm glad that I managed to pull off my next words without stuttering. Mabuti nalang at naging okay siya sa pagtawag ko sa kanya ng Tito kasabay ng pagbati.
His vibe totally changed when he started showing us some baby pictures of Sunshine. Marami akong kinunan na pictures from the album habang panay kami sa pagtawa sa mga kwento ni Tito tungkol sa anak niya. Nagwalk out naman si Sunshine at pumunta nalang sa kusina to wash the dishes.
"Alam niyo ba? Medyo nag-aalala na ako diyan sa anak kong si Sunshine."
"Huh? Bakit naman po Tito?" Happy said with our eyebrows furrowed to what Tito said.
"Wag kayong maingay sa sasabihin ko ha? Atin atin lang to." All of us nodded before moving closer to him para mas marinig ang sasabihin niya. "Dalaga naman na siya pero parang wala siyang interest sa mga lalaki. Sa tingin niyo ba, tomboy ang anak ko?"
Para akong nabulunan kahit na wala naman na akong kinakain at napainom ng tubig. Nahuli ko naman sina Happy na parehas namang nagpipigil ng tawa while giving me meaningful glances.
"Nako Tito. Tamang-tama po at present dito ang nag-iisang tao na makakasagot ng katanungan niyo." Greggy said before slightly hitting my shoulder with his elbow. Napansin naman ni Tito ang pagsagi niya sa akin that's why his attention was diverted into me.
"Masasagot mo ba ang tanong ko, Hanson?"
Oh geez. I guess I have no choice.
"Sunshine's not a tomboy, Tito. She actually likes me." I felt my cheeks heat up when one of his eyebrows raised. "A-At gustong gusto ko rin po siya, kaya naman gusto ko po sanang humingi sa inyo ng permission."
Naghampasan sina Happy at Greggy who are both preventing themselves from squealing. Kinabahan naman ako dahil ganun pa rin ang expression ni Tito sa mukha niya for the past seconds.
"Permission para saan?"
"Gusto ko pong ligawan ang anak niyo, Tito."