as it was | harry styles
❝ nothin' to say
when everything gets in the way ❞
MOM TURNS AROUND in the art room and I alongside dad await her reaction. She doesn't say anything at first and I stare at dad to get some answers out of him but he shrugs. Isn't he supposed to know what she's thinking? Is that not a right of passage in marriage?
"Well, it's definitely an art studio." She finally says turning to the both of us swiftly that her Chanel bag swings as well.
"You hate it." She hates it. Of course, she does. Mom thrives off of simplicity and minimalism, she wants everything precise and clean, it's dad that enjoys the mess like I do.
"I never said that."
"You insinuated it."
"Insinuted?" Dad repeats looking at me with raised brows and a small smile tugs at his lips. My god, Spencer has been rubbing off on me.
"Cool word, I know." I smile before turning back to mom. "I love it here." In this studio where I sometimes come to not even to do art but watch as Mila and Nadia rekindle on the time they spent together at mademoiselle Nephrite's, watch Nadia work on her graduation dress as I think about how the hell I'm supposed to get revenge on her and see if Everette Law has made any new things. I know it's not like how it was back home but it's still just as good.
"Well that's all that matters, now where is this art of yours? I want to see it before all the other parents scatter in here like mouses."
"Mice." Dad corrects swiftly from where he's wandered off on the other side of the room, to check out some of the sculptures no doubt.
Mom turns from where she stands in front of me and whips her head behind to glare at dad. "Did you just...say I wasn't right?"
Dad stops wandering around and stays put. "Of course not...I think you misheard what I said was; of course, honey whatever you say because you are a god in this world and I am nothing but your peasant husband." Mom smiles and dad rolls his eyes and they do that parent in love stare thing which has me itching to get out of the room asap.
"My arts in the back, I can bring it out for you?" Mom nods and I head out to where some of our art is kept, I type in the passcode that leads into the room. I look around to find mine but my eyes fall onto one of the familiar mannequins instead and I find myself distracted by that for a moment.
It's got some fabric pinned to it since it's only the beginning of Nadia's graduation dress. When she'd originally told me she was making it from the fabric her dad gifted her I didn't think she meant she'd also have to practice with it, making the selection she has left to use only a fixed amount.
Sometimes after swim practice - ones without Lo because god knows what Caleb has done. I walk past the art room and catch her working on the sketch of the dress or measuring fabric - doing anything and everything for the dress to turn out perfect.
"Your sister says she's sorry she can't make it." Mom calls out as I grab the block of clay I've started on. There's no way I'm bringing out the canvas, not until it's finished at least.
"I'm sure it devastates her," I yell out half sarcastically and half not. The last time I heard from my sister was weeks ago when I'd gone to the McAllisters for hideaway at the news of her return.
"She's gone to Romania with some new boyfriend of hers." Dad is the one to add.
"How sweet." I'll be sure to google how far away that is from me later on. "Does said boyfriend have a name?" One I can google later on in order to pay for his upcoming therapy bills.
"Some Rogue's kid." I pause at the doorway at the last name.
"Ash Rogues?" Ivy is dating a high school senior? When I make it outside Mom's eyes glaze over me with confusion at my knowledge on the Rogue's family before she shakes her head.
"Oh no, your sister isn't some sort of cougar. It's his older brother Cedar."
"Cedar?" There's someone on this earth walking around with the name Cedar? I mean I don't want to be rude or anything but...Cedar?
"Don't be judgmental, your name is Sage." Dad points out, he's made it by moms side at this point and they're both trying to stare at what it is I've got in my hands.
"What's wrong with Sage?" Lots of people like it...to moan especially - but I don't think that's something my parents would like to hear.
"Nothings wrong with the name, in fact, we love it."
"You better, the both of you picked it."
"Right, I'm feeling thirsty all of a sudden and I hear a ruckus down the halls. Maybe we can see your dorm next?" Mom suggests looking at dad and then back to me again.
"You don't want to see what I have?" I mean if I'd known this earlier I could've had a full eight-hour sleep but I was too busy worrying over what I was going to show them.
"Sage, it's a block of clay, I don't think we're missing on much."
"What if this was my art piece?" I'm only bullshitting, I'll probably put it back in a second.
"Well, then that's about the most beautiful block of clay I've ever seen." Dad grins sarcastically and I roll my eyes playfully. Message received, I go to put the block back.
🃁 🃁 🃁
The art room fills the second we leave it, Mom's never looked happier at the fact that she doesn't have to interact with other parents. Dad doesn't mind talking so he looks normal as he hangs back walking next to me as Mom leads us to where she said she saw refreshments earlier.
We haven't even left the art building when I hear the sound of more footsteps around the corner, I assume it's a woman and two by the sound of the heels hitting agaisnt the tiled floors. I'm ready to count it as background noise and move on until the silhouettes come into perspective.
The Zhu's.
Oh no.
I catch Mom straighten up from her already poise posture and even dad stands at his full six-foot-something height beside me. No one says anything, I make eye contact with Amber but she looks away almost instantly.
We're all about to not interact until - "What did you say?" Mom stops in her tracks looking behind her. I close my eyes bracing, oh shit.
I turn around to face Amber and her mother as dad does as well. I've never really interacted with Joanne Zhu other than that one time I went to visit Amber to tell her we were done and all I got from that experience was that she wasn't the fondest of her daughter.
"Let me warn you my daughter is no beauty this time of day, she's very...washed out."
I knew what she meant - no, what she tried to mean. But not even in death do I think Amber could look washed out, she's too beautiful, too radiant to ever be considered anything but it.
But now, in this very moment, she looks as if she'd rather die than be here. I want to comfort her, tell her it'll be alright. But I can't, not here, not like this, and definitely not in front of mom right now.
"Pardon," Joanne asks innocently, raising her well-kept brows the same time her light painted lips open up from their original line.
"Don't pardon me, Joanne, I heard you." Mom bites back, she doesn't play innocently like the other Moms, Mom calls people out. Even way back when I was younger and someone would do some dumb shit she was like this.
"Heard me say what?" I'm curious too, I didn't hear anything - but I was also too busy staring at her daughter to be paying attention to anything else. Amber's in her school uniform like we all are. She's got her blazer on which covers up most of her blouse and drapes down to where her skirt ends - which isn't that long so it fits perfectly.
"Joanne I don't know who you think you are, but passing comments are still comments in my eyes. If you'd like to say something, I'm all ears right now." I look up at dad in urgency in case this propels into something more but he's too busy watching Mom.
"I haven't said anything, you dare to threaten to make my family seem a fool?"
Mom cocks her head and I look back at the art studio hoping no family looks as if they're about to leave, making them potentially witness this.
"How could I threaten the present?"
"You did not! You seem to forget Helem, it was your son's reckless behaviour that caused all of this news to spiral. A passing comment I made about you all being in shambles is nothing compared to what your own kin has done to your reputation. I mean a maid? Seriously that's not only an insult to your family but mine as well. My daughter is right here and your son's actions solidified the fact he'd rather sleep with a maid than her!" What the actual fuck.
"Mom!" Amber finally speaks up, her cheeks go red in embarrassment and her eyes meet her Mom's pleading for her to stop. It's in this moment I hate Joanne Zhu.
"What did you say about my son? You know quite frankly I feel sorry for Amber, for having to deal with such an incompetent piece of shit as yourself!"
"Alright honey that's enough." Dad steps in immediately, but there's a kind of fury in moms eyes that doesn't dissipate and to make matters worse the art rooms door has opened meaning families have started to leave.
"A maid has more class in one finger than you could ever. I mean seriously, you're a vile woman Joanne." Mom spits disgustedly before turning back and walking away, dad follows and I do as well.
When we leave the building Mom turns to me. "You are to never go near that girl or her family ever again okay Sage?"
"Mom-"
"I won't have it. She is evil, who says that? and about her own daughter as well, I mean no wonder Amber did what she did with a mother like that how could malice not be passed down!"
"She's not like her Mom, you can't categorise them as the same."
"I can and I will, I am so upset right now Sage." She paces for a few steps, placing her hand on her head.
"Because of the passing comment?" I mean I've read worse on Silvers.
"No, because she said mean things about you." Mom brings me in and I awkwardly shuffle close to her as she presses a kiss to my head before pulling away and placing her hands on my shoulders. "Anyone ever says anything rude about you and I'll kill them, I don't care."
"Alright honey, how about we don't admit to a plan on murder on school grounds?" Dad asks and mom turns to him.
"Did you not hear a fucking word that women said? I can't believe you stopped me I would've ripped her apart after her tangent. Who is she to question our son?"
Dad smiles at moms protectiveness, "and I would have let you, but Hels, in your favourite Valentino dress?"
"I don't care I would've bought myself another, you would've bought me another. I think I need that water right about now, Sage meet us in your room we'll find our way there."
"Alright don't kill anyone on your way back mom," I wave at her and watch dad grab onto her shoulders reassuringly as they descend down the other side.
I turn the opposing way and head to the Diamond quarters, not bothered to make conversation with anyone passing as I think over the last couple of months.
Is that how Amber sees it? That I chose Gigi over her? I knew Gigi way before Amber, I've known her my entire life - we practically grew up with each other. I wouldn't choose her over Amber though, I just wouldn't and not even because of her status but because of everything else.
I got with her once because we were both dumb and alone not because we'd necessarily desired it. She'd always liked Atlas anyways, how whenever he came and hang out at my place he'd invite her to play with us when she was around as well.
So what the fuck was Joanne talking about? Is she always like this, diminishing?
I arrive at my bedroom in no time as questions and memories circulate, Spencer's not insight so I take it the Mancini's have either visited the room or have yet to.
"You live like this?" I look back at the voice standing in the doorway, my eyes fall onto a small familiar blonde boy - Darcy Mancini. I take it I spoke too soon as Spencer's younger brother cocks his head waiting for an answer.
"It's really bad, yeah?" I say and he takes it as an invitation to welcome himself into the room, he doesn't sit or stand too close to any of the furniture. He flaunters in the middle of the room - judging.
"It's not bad it's shit."
"You can't say that word Darcy, you're like five."
"Eight." He corrects swiftly, "and who says I can't?"
"The government." Shit like that matters to kids, right? He'll be scared? I really don't want to be in trouble with the Mancini's if Darcy begins to swear out of nowhere and I'm the last person he was seen with. That family scares me enough with all their brains combined.
"I don't care for corruption." He answers.
"You're eight what do you know about corruption?" I ask at the same time Spencer enters the rooms, he looks down at Darcy and sighs which gives me the impression he'd lost sight of him.
"Nothing but it's a big word isn't it?" He grins and I smile down at him, I've got to give credit where it's due - it is. "Where is she?" He asks after looking around.
I tilt my head sure my face is painted with puzzlement since I'm about to start searching with him as well because who's small enough to fit in this room without being able to be seen? "Who?"
"Your mother." I raise a brow, am I being bullied by an eight-year-old? "Elisè" he finally sighs.
I grin at the realisation, oh her. "She's not here, why you like her?" I'm only teasing, I'm not that interested in the dating scene for third graders. Do third graders even date? I don't think I did in third grade, I think I was too busy watching bachelorette with Mom.
"Just as much as you like maids." He replies back dryly, I feel my jaw hang at the retort.
"Okay, Darc." Spencer clasps, placing his hands on Darcy's shoulder with a sheepish smile and leading him out of the room.
"What did I say about repeating shit you hear at home?" I hear Spencer seethe once they're out of the room.
"I'm allowed to speak, human rights remember?" I smile at the kids retort, I pray for whoever Darcy ends up getting with when he's older.
🃁 🃁 🃁
The sun has started to set by the time everyone's come together for the final dinner before all the parents return back to society. We haven't had another run-in with the Zhu's which leaves me lowering my guard as everyone takes a seat around the table.
Reid, Luca, Mr Cathans and Caleb sit on the left of the table whilst Mom, dad and I occupy the right and the McAllisters take the seats on the curvature of the round table.
Dad, Mr Cathans and Monet instantly go into a conversation about something I'm too bored to care about, whilst Mom and Mr McAllister talk in between themselves.
I look over to Luca and he raises his brows asking me what I'm thinking about, I motion to him that I'll tell him later. He turns to Caleb and I grab his attention before he's able to. 'Don't tell him!' I mouth.
'You're still angry?'
'Is the sun hot?' He rolls his eyes before raising his hands in surrender and I grin satisfied with the outcome.
"You guys know you can talk right, you won't be shot if you will," Reid says breaking the spell of mouthing sentences.
I turn to the oldest Cathans boy. "Right but then how am I supposed to talk about people without them knowing?"
"Well not like that, since you just admitted to it." I hear Caleb's voice carry out from my right side, but I don't turn to him. I don't know why at this point, it feels stupid to be angry at Caleb because of everything he's done for me but I just can't forgive him. Not now, not when I asked him to not go after Lo at my expense and he did anyway - and I don't even mean the Valé situation, good for him on that one.
The stage lights up instantly and the sound of heels clicking against the wood draws everyone's attention, I have my eyes hover on it as the familiar figure of Principal Aveyard walks across the stage. She's wearing a velvet emerald green wrap dress and black heels, but the thing that's most eye-catching about her outfit is the obvious diamond necklace that sits flush agaisnt her olive skin and glimmers under the lights.
"I want to start the toast off by thanking the parents for coming in support of your children and everything to do with them..." I zone out as she rants on, introduces Azriel as the head boy has him speak for a little while - he talks about the same things he did for us at the first assembly. "I'd also like to thank everyone for their donations, as many of you know we acknowledge the top donor so far throughout the year at our parent visitations - "
"Paying for her love?" Reid asks, "what are we her sugar daddies?" Mr Cathans hits his son upside on the head and Reid owes, sinking into his seat further. Luca makes a mocking face at his brother but it only causes Reid to kick him under the table - Luca clutches his leg in pain.
"It may come as a surprise because of how generous you all have been to Whitlock but we are grateful to announce the top donor is..." I look around not paying attention to hear whoever it was that spent how many hundred thousand on the school. "...The Delvaùxs." I feel our entire table go quiet, and everyone looks back at Caleb who's swishing the drink in his glass around.
So, that's how he did it. Got Rain back and made Lo leave - he paid his way through it.
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a/n
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