The doors only get to open wide enough before I am throwing myself from the elevator and into the naturally lit lobby. I don't acknowledge the two receptionists who give me stares for my odd behaviour and instead walk straight past them into the corridor leading to the studio room. My anxious brain starts to think of a reason why I am late when either Hoseok or the tour director asks why. Nevertheless, without hesitation, I force my way through one of the closed double doors and straight over to the pile of things to throw my bag down before draping my oversized hoodie over it as though I am trying to hide it from the world. Without even looking at anyone, I can feel some of the dancers watching me and it only intensifies my anxiety.
Without lifting my head to face any of the dancers or staff, I find a random spot at the back of the room to stand alone and in an attempt to hide behind the other dancers away from the staffs' onlooking stares. Not a moment later, the double doors swing open for Jimin and Jungkook to come stepping through to walk across to the other side of the room where the rest of BTS are either sitting on a chair or perched on the table.
"Hey," I hear whispered some feet away to my right.
Glancing into the corner of my eye, I see Sunghoon subtly glancing between the front of the room and myself.
"Are you okay? You look worried," he whispers again while the choreographer shouts for the rehearsals to begin.
"I'll talk to you later," I whisper back just when the music begins to play and everyone gets ready in their starting positions.
Making sure that I have a full profile of myself in the floor-to-ceiling mirror at the front of the class, I observe my every move to make sure that I have everything perfect and even though it looks like I do, I don't feel the same making frustration slowly bottle up inside me...
That feeling continues for most of the morning's practice, and to make it worse, I could feel the tour director's eyes watching me with scrutiny.
The music finishes in time for my frustration to reach its peak and just so I can feel a tiny amount of relief, I shout out my frustration as loud as my lungs will allow me to while my hands fist in my hair and my knees no longer want to hold my body's weight. Squatting miserably on the floor with my eyes squeezed shut, I can only hear the mumbles of the other dancers around the room about my outburst. A body moves swiftly to my side and a comforting hand lays on my back.
"What's wrong, (Your name)?" Sunghoon asks quietly to which I shake my head in response.
I felt like I could cry a thousand tears when I hear the choreographer calling for everyone to go to lunch but I am requested to stay behind. With pure certainty because of my outburst, I was going to be told that the opportunity that Jungkook had told me about was going to be no longer available to me.
Realising my hair from my hands, I look over at Sunghoon with my eyes brimming with tears, "I'm fine. Go for lunch."
There is an obvious look of worry that crosses Sunghoon's face and even though I could tell he wants to stay behind to make sure I'm okay, he inevitably stands up and walks away from me to gather some of his things so he can get something to eat. I watch as my only friend leaves the studio room but not without glancing over his shoulder to give me a look that's trying to tell me everything will be okay... then the door closes and I am the only dancer left in the entire room.
"(Your name), would you like to come and sit over here please?" The tour director asks monotoned but politely.
Before standing up, I look over to where the tour director is sitting and low and behold I have every single pair of eyes staring my way, waiting for me to go where I was summoned to. Taking a deep breath, I stand up and glance at myself in the mirror. It's safe to say that I look frustrated as hell, but I don't let that stop me from going where I am needed - and I don't want the director waiting much longer.
Quick and easy steps, but my eyes trained on the pale laminated floor, I scurry across the room to the only available chair that was offered to me before sitting stiffly down on it seeing that the tour director is across the table.
There is silence while the tour director regards me and I can only shut my eyes when I listen to what he has to say to me.
"I have been made aware that you have been offered the opportunity to go to America to continue your placement as a dancer for the tour," he begins and I hold my breath for what he has to say next, "would you be in a position to accept that offer?"
Pinging my eyes open and looking over the table at the director, the face that was solid as a stone while watching me this entire morning has now got a delicate smile across it.
"What?" I squeak making a few chuckles sound around the room including the director, "I thought my outburst-"
"We all get days like that, (Your name)," the director says comfortingly, "you've been working really hard so I'm not surprised that you had such an outburst."
Noticeably, my body relaxes against the chair and a non-stopping smile spreads across my lips allowing a peek of my teeth to shine through. Flipping open the binder that is sat in front of him on the desk, he unclips a piece of paper before softly placing it down onto the table in front of me with a black inked pen straight after.
"Have a read through the contract and sign it if you accept," he instructs with an open palm directed at the paper.
"How long do I have to get it back to you?" I ask while staring down at the title 'overseas contract' plastered across the top of the paper in big bold letters.
"You have until the night before the first show in Korea," he answers before clipping his binder locked and then closing it.
Calculating in my head, I realize I have a week to get this paper signed and back to the tour director if I want to go.
"You can also go for lunch and I'll give you an extra ten minutes since I kept you behind."
Giving a thank you to the director, I quickly offer him a bow as I stand up from the chair before taking the pen and paper with me and begin reading it as I slowly make my way over to where my bag and hoodie were dumped. A conversation begins behind me but I can't understand it since it's spoken in their native tongue.
On the outskirts of my eyesight, I notice that I have gotten to my bag but just before I crouch down to pick it up, Jimin calls my name to distract me from the paper and look over my shoulder at him; he is walking across the room over to the double doors.
"Can I have a word with you?" He asks softly while pointing at the double doors in an indication he wants to speak privately.
I don't verbally respond, but I nod to his request and follow him out of the studio room and a little way down the corridor before he whips round to face me stopping me in my tracks.
The look on his face tells me he is being completely serious with whatever he's about to tell me. A look you don't often get to see on Jimin's face unless he is performing.
"If you're going to accept the offer, I highly suggest you stop what you're doing with Jungkook," he informs and a part of me confirms that this was what he was going to talk about, "you'll find that this paper is the same contract you signed before, the only difference is that it says overseas on the top."
I giggle at his statement.
"But that's not why I'm suggesting you stop this fling you have with Jungkook," he sighs while looking at me with saddened eyes, "he has a lover in America that he goes to see every time we're there."
The happiness that was on my face from just seconds ago gets washed away with the look of pain instead. I could feel my heart creasing at the truth that whatever is going on between me and Jungkook is really what Jimin had just said it was. A fling.
"I thought I should warn you before he disappears on you and you get hurt from finding out the hard way," Jimin continues softly and quietly, "he has a tendency to bring her back to the hotel that we'll be staying at."
Hanging my head low so that Jimin doesn't already see the pain writing itself into my features, I nod as an answer to his request before a door bangs on its frame behind me. I don't have to look to know who it is.
"What are you talking to her about?" Jungkook's stern voice sounds down the corridor at us.
"That maybe you should start leaving her alone before we go to America," Jimin replies just as sternly, "I don't want her to get hurt because of you."
Footsteps are the only thing that I could hear coming up from behind me, taking a quick glance at Jimin's face, I watch how his eyes move along with the body that's coming up behind me and his arms crossing over his chest in a defensive manner. My body reacts before I can think about it.
Just as the body comes to a stop behind me, it only takes me a couple of steps to be behind Jimin's broad body and facing the break room's door. I don't need to see it to know Jimin is smirking in response to the trust that I had unknowingly gained for him.
"What in the fuck did you tell her?" Jungkook seethes between his teeth and it's enough to strike fear into my muscles.
"Jihan," Jimin grumbles back.
So that is Jungkook's American lover.
I can't even bring myself to look at Jungkook knowing that he has a woman potentially waiting for him in America while he's doing what he's done with me here in Korea. Distance doesn't matter if you've already got someone, and even the assumption that they are not in a relationship since Jimin said she was his lover, doesn't make it any less wrong.
"I ended that with her before we came back here last year," Jungkook mumbles seemingly defeated by my trust in Jimin and not in him from the information I was told.
"You say that every year and yet, you go back to her every time," Jimin quips back.
"I get lonely Jimin, of all people you would know that," Jungkook mumbles dishearted and I find myself feeling sorry for him.
Jungkook is only human at the end of the day and like myself, humans get lonely when they don't have a companion or a partner to spend their time with. Even if Jimin can't understand it, I know I can because I was in the exact same position when I left home and was in college by myself before Sunghoon offered his friendship to me.
Raising my head up just a tiny bit, I look over Jimin's shoulder at Jungkook to see a deep frown nestled on his features. I could feel my brain yearning for him to find happiness even if it's only briefly in me, but my heart was screaming at me to hold him, to let him know that I understand how he feels.
And I do just that.
Stepping from around Jimin and dropping the contract and pen on the floor, I almost slam myself into Jungkook to hold him tightly against myself and my head to lay across his chest. The feeling of his heart beats across my cheek while it thumps a tune into my ear; a tune that steadily picks up the pace.
"I understand you, Jungkook," I mumble to him before looking up at him with a saddened expression, "I know that feeling all too well."
In a moment of solace, Jungkook's muscular arms wrap around my shoulders to hold me tightly against him. Even with Jimin standing right in front of us, Jungkook presses his lips against my own in a kiss that seemed passion felt before breaking it and laying his cheek across the top of my head and I move my head to lay it back across his chest. Jimin stands there watching us.
"She is one hell of a woman," Jimin mutters under his breath seemingly not meant to be said out loud.
"I know," Jungkook mumbles back holding me even tighter against him.
I do nothing but smile at the moment shared between the three of us.
"You should have seen her when she was staying at mine," Jungkook continues, "she made sure Bam was looked after while I was away at work, made sure I had food ready and waiting for me to eat when I walked through my front door, and don't even get me started on the sex."
Jokingly gasping at his last statement, I pull back far enough to playfully slap him across the chest only making the two men laugh at my reaction.
"Whoever gets to have you as his will be one lucky man," Jungkook says warmingly, but I can see the tug of a frown at the corner of his lips, "it's just unfortunate it won't be me that will be able to have you."
Despite being playful just moments ago, a copy of Jungkook's frown pastes itself onto my own face and I can feel my energy slowly being drained because of the reality of Jungkook's words.
The reality is that none of BTS can be romantically involved with their dancers, staff or any other type of co-worker. It says it in my contract, but even though I know the outcome of it gets found out, it's moments like these that I am damn well sure to take the risk.
"You should let her go and eat," Jimin states.
Realization and panic hits me all at once that the lunch I was supposed to bring for me and Jungkook is still sitting on my kitchen counter back at my apartment.
"Oh, shit," I mumble looking away at the fairies just over Jungkook's shoulder.
"You forgot our lunch didn't you?" Jungkook asks in amusement.
"Our lunch?" Jimin questions with a confused look that I see when I glance at him over my own shoulder.
"I bought a take-out last night and tried offering a portion as breakfast to him," I explain softly, "but he asked me to bring it in as lunch."
Jimin nods once in understanding, "so why didn't you?"
"Because I felt pressured by you to get ready and be in your car so that we're not late for work," I confess before biting my lip from the feeling of the dull ache in my empty stomach.
Out of nowhere, Jungkook shoves Jimin in the shoulder only making the look of shock cross Jimin's face.
"What was that for?" He squeaks in surprise.
"For making her rush," Jungkook mumbles back before relocating his arm around my shoulders.
With a heavy sigh and a roll of his eyes, Jimin looks at us before shaking his head.
"Take her back to her place and pick up your lunch. I'll tell staff that you forgot your lunch," Jimin directs straight at me hinting not to say anything about the lunch being for both Jungkook and me otherwise an inevitable suspicion will occur among the staff members.
"Thank you," I utter breathly to him before tearing myself away from Jungkook's body to pick up the contract and pen off from the floor and then taking off down the corridor.
Flying through the double doors, and gaining attention from the people left inside the studio room, I quickly make a scramble for my hoodie and bag before running back to the double doors and barging them open. Looking to my left, I watch as Jimin and Jungkook have just pulled out from a hug before Jungkook turns away from him and comes jogging up to me. However, the wink that Jimin throws me seems to be full of information that I don't know about or is hinting that he knows what Jungkook might pull when I get back to my flat.
Nevertheless, with a soft clutch around my left wrist and taking my bag from me with his other hand, we take off as fast we can down the corridor, past the reception and over to the lift that seems to be waiting for us to get to it because when Jungkook presses the button to call for the lift, the doors automatically open to allow us to step into the metal box.
Our breathing is slightly rapid when the doors close in front of us when we turn around to face the doors for when they open again.
"Did you mean what you said?" I blurt without even thinking about it; my eyes growing wide that my mouth moved on its own without double confirmation with my brain.
"I meant every word, beautiful," he husks making me look up at him only to see him looking at me with passion-filled eyes.
Slowly, I could feel his grip on my wrist loosen but only so that his hand can come into contact with my own and entwine my fingers with his. A blush hits my cheeks at his physical affection but I smile nonetheless when my eyes cast down to see what I felt.
Abruptly, the elevator comes to a stop and in a quick motion, the doors slide open allowing Jungkook to pull me behind him in the direction of his car. The only thing my eyes and brain could concentrate on is the tight hold Jungkook has on my own and with my fingers; I have to bite my lip to prevent myself from grinning like a lunatic.
What I didn't know was the pair of eyes looming at us while we take off past them.