trigger imagery relating to abuse
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It's taco Tuesday and Henry is home, he's been hiding away in his office all day doing god knows what, we saw him for all of an hour last night when he got home. Ava is up playing in our room, and all I can think about is how I have no freaking idea what I'm doing anymore, I am tired of feeling alone. I can't shake the thought of cerulean eyes and long chestnut hair I want to twirl in my fingers like my daughter did, and it's terrifying.
The weekend was crazy while Henry was gone. I landed five new jobs all with signed contracts for payment, I'm over the moon. When they're all done at the beginning of August, I'll finally be able to afford a two bedroom. Though, I'm hoping it's sooner, I dont think I can brave face for almost five more weeks.
Ava learned a new song on piano for Henry's birthday this weekend. I guess his friend Bodhi talked him into having a party here at the apartment, I can already predict that'll be a disaster. My brother just yelled at Ava for leaving her stuff sprawled across the living room and kitchen. We gotta get outta here. My daughter and I have a bit of nomad in us and aren't exactly the tidiest of people, I mean we aren't gross but our things are always everywhere. Honesty, my daughter has lived out of hampers for most of her life, I know..I know...awful. but she has a wardrobe and toybox now.
I finished up a last minute photo session for this huge family from all over the world that made it together to the big apple. I actually met the woman that booked it on the subway, I've been stepping out of my comfort zones more when I am alone in the city and last week it earned me seven hundred dollars. I know, wtf, but I need to branch out if I'm gunna grow here.
I haven't heard from him since Friday, but he is a busy man and I'm an embarrassed sleep talker. I don't remember anything after Sebastian took Ava upstairs, I was so exhausted and having him around was so calming.
I've been too nervous to text him, I came downstairs Saturday morning to a clean kitchen, and there was a note that read, 'had a blast with you dolls, hope you both sleep well, seb.' What am I supposed to do with that?
I finish plating all of the food, yelling upstair, "it's taco time!" Henry appears in the hallway next to me right away with a smirk.
"I love taco tuesday!"
I nodded, "I know Hen, thats why I started it up again for you."
He pat my arm as Ava comes sprinting toward the stairs. I yell, "slow down, mush!"
She is hopping down the steps at an alarming rate, and about halfway down the steps, those damn clogs catch on the gap between the wood. She barrels forward in a roll down the steps, Henry storms toward her, scooping her after a few bumps against the steps.
Ava let's out a loud wail of a cry, big alligator tears falling down her blush cheeks.
"Are you okay, sweetheart?" Henry walks with her slowly to the couch as he holds her with one arm and rubs her back with the other.
"Shhh, it's okay, nothing is broken...I bet my brave girl is more scared than anything." He hummed and I watched in awe of him with her. I can't remember the last time I've seen my brother so gentle.
She nodded and whispered, "yeah." Her chest was still slowly heaving as she caught her breath through the sniffles.
He set her down on the couch and her poor knees and shoulder are all bruised up, a small bump forming on her head. "Mama," she reached for me with tear filled eyes. I pulled her onto my lap as I sit onto the couch, running my hands down her back and through her messy hair. Henry hurries to get ice packs from the freezer.
"I'm sorry Ava, you gotta slow down speed racer."
She wipes her eyes and sniffles, "but I love tacos and I was excited."
I chuckle and Henry runs over to her and softly places one pack across her little knees and one on her head for her to hold.
"I get excited about tacos too, Ava." Henry let out a chuckle, his face softens as she looked up at him with a sad smile, "your Mom used to fall all the time too."
Ava laughs loudly as she looks at me, "she still does, all the time." I fake a laugh, "ha ha yeah I do. Looks like clutz is in your genetics girlfriend. So slow your roll, got it?"
She chuckled and wipes her tears again, "yeah yeah. Now let's eat tacos...see if it's worth the pain."
I look at Henry wide eyed as he laughs at her, "Ava, your a piece of work. Do you want to walk...?"
She shook her head and gave him her best puppy dog eyes, "can you carry me, Uncle Hen?"
He beams down at her, "of course little one."
Dinner was nice, Henry really taking time with Ava. It was different to see him so soft with her, I thoroughly enjoyed it and I could see she did too. As she scoops up her last chip, she looks at Henry, "Unc, since she won't tell you... Mama booked five jobs this weekend!"
He looked at me with a skeptical look, I hate that, it reminds me of dad. "Wow, that's awesome, Har. You'll be outta here before you know it."
I fought my urge to roll my eyes, "yeah, that's the plan." I don't need reminded of the goal.
He turned his attention to Ava and looked up at the clock, "Ava, you up for an Unc and Tiny night?"
She lit up like the fourth of July, "a night for me and you!? What will we do? That sounds epic Unc! Lets watch movies and eat food." She is nearly jumping from her seat as they both smile over at me.
Henry pat the table in front of him, "I got it tonight. I'll clean and we'll have some fun before bed."
I feel a rush of confusion fill my face, "Hen, you don't have to do that...you really don't." It felt odd accepting free care from anyone beyond June, but a night alone sounds amazing.
He waved his hand at me before starting to clear the table. Ava joining him, picking up her plate, "yeah go. Have fun, Mama. Unc and I will watch some movies and maybe find a little trouble."
I walk around the table to kiss her head, "I can always assume you and trouble will be in the same sentence. Love you. I'm gunna to get ready."
I look up at Hen starting the dishes, I walk over to him and wrap my arms around his waist, "thanks Hen, I needed this." He put hit head on mine as he rinsed a plate, "you deserve it. Go find some fun and let loose a little. I got this." I smile up at him again before turning for the stairs.
An hour later I'm walking out dressed up in the perfect outfit for a night out, with nowhere to go, in this new exciting city.
Henry and Ava are already curled up on the couch watching The Sandlot, one of his favorites, hers too, but only because of her Uncle. I sneak into the kitchen and take a few gulps from Henry's favorite bourbon, knowing I need to take my nervous edge off or tonight will be more stress than fun.
I give them a wave as I head to the door. Ava rushed me as I crouched down for her, she is beaming as her little hazel eyes look at my clothes.
"Mama, you look really pretty," she plays with my straightened hair. "Thanks butterfly, you be good for Uncle and get to bed at a decent hour. We'll walk for doughnuts tomorrow morning when I get up. Deal?"
She wrapped her arms around my neck, "deal." She whispered into my ear, "you should go find Sebastian and have fun, I like the way you smile with him."
I smirked and whispered back, "I'll do my best. lub you" She giggled and let go of my neck, "lub you too, Mama."
It wasn't the worst idea, I don't really know anyone else here. I stand with one last kiss on Ava's head before turning and looking myself over once more in the front hallway mirror. My lips are a peachy shade, matching the hue in my shimmery peach eye shadow, with highlight and bold mascara.
I walk out the door and pick up my phone, dialing Sebastian quickly before I can talk myself out of it. My heart thumping in my chest at the idea of seeing him after that mystery ending four days ago.
'Hey, Lo. I was hoping you'd call. How are you?'
I smiled at the sound of honey in his voice.
'Well, I'm child free for the night and on my way out into the big city with nothing to do and all by my lonesome...so I figured I'd call the only person that's made me laugh since moving here...well besides my spawn. I'm just hoping you have nothing to do.'
Fuck, I'm rambling. I take a deep breath as silence filled the line, that's when the knot in my stomach gets off frayed and hot. Then he released a chuckle that had to be the best sound I'd heard all day.
'I'm out with friends from out of town, want to join us? We're headed to Visionary in Times Square.'
I felt a thrilling rush flow over me at the thought, me out without my daughter and seeing time square at night, something I'd never witnessed before.
'On my way, I'll be the one looking dazed and confused.'
'I'll be looking forward to it, doll.'
Shit, that name, I'm toying with the unknown. I smile down at my favorite pumps, their matte black with little bows on the heel and a strap around the ankle. Despite my clumsiness I love to wear heels when Ava isn't around.
'See you soon, Stan.'
I was on the move for Times Square, grabbing a taxi as I hop off the stoop of Henry's building in the most uppity neighborhood. The drive was quick and quiet, this man must have sensed my anxiety when he turned the top forty radio station up.
When the driver pulls up in front of a high rise, the intimidation fills my gut, "shit. Thank you sir," I hand him an amount that includes a nice tip and he smiled back at me with wide happy eyes.
"Wow, have a nice evening, Ma'am," I smile and nod, "you too, Sir. Thank you."
Something about making people smile that have been beat down by the chaotic hustle of a life in nyc, makes me all warm and fuzzy. I love to make people happy, especially when they're not.
I stand in the elevator with one other woman, a beautiful blonde. She smiles at me and I feel my cheeks heating up. I'm straight as a ruler but she is so pretty, and I am entirely out of my element here. I'm silently thanking myself for chugging a bit of that bourbon, feeling it slowly drape me in comfort as I prepare my mind for whatever tonight holds.
The music in the elevator is great, upbeat and exciting. My heart is already pounding by the time the perfect gold doors open, revealing a beautiful outside club style bar. It's breathtaking and the view is unlike any I'd ever scene. New York City, I stare up in awe at the empire state building, lit up in the night sky, and the city silhouette in the dark blue hue of night.
Its so fucking beautiful, June.
++++++
Sebastian
I see her as soon as her gold aura walks from that elevator, she is breathtaking. She wore these amazing leather pants that hugged her perfectly, the waistline just under that adorable belly button. She wore quite a heel without her daughter and looked damn good walking in them.
As I stop listening to Chris talk about this girl he is seeing, I walk toward her, and it's like the entire place was quiet. I realize I've never been around her without Ava, never witnessed this phenomenal woman alone. This moment feels important, she slips her arms from her orange and pink bomber jacket, holding it in her hand, as she stares around in awe of the place.
I stop walking and just watch her, she's looking at the empire state building in astonishment. She just moved here and something about this moment felt intimate. I take a few steps and she smiles around at the twinkle lights around the bar, the smirk on her perfect pink lips contagious. Then she locks her gaze with me and her hazel eyes widen. She walks toward me quickly, my Harlow.
"Hi, Sebastian! Thank you for inviting me, this place in amazing and so beautiful."
"Harlow, you look stunning, and are you kidding!? I am so excited to introduce you to my friends and have drinks with probably my favorite person as of late."
Her little dark blonde eyebrows pressed together, "I'm can't be your favorite person?" She questions in the quietest voice that makes me walk and wrap her up in a hug, she immediately nestled into my chest.
"Yeah, you kind of are, you make me smile and laugh, you and that little person you created. You're also stronger than most people I know."
She pressed her brows, "what's do you mean? I'm just a mom barely scraping by." She looked concerned, vulnerable in the sadness filling her orbs.
Shit.
"I think you're amazing, Harlow. You're a single mom raising a child, figuring it out, and I mean you've met your impressive spawn. You're doing something right," she laughs out loud.
"Whatever you say, I need a drink, I don't really get out much, obviously, and I'm a little nervous. Also, before I meet your friends, I have a confession." She looked nervous, those perfect hazel eyes looking into mine with a concern stare.
Fuck no, please nothing bad. What would be bad?
"Tell me, Lo." I smile down at her, trying to hide my creeping nerves.
"I'm a sleep talker, and I don't really remember anything after crashing on the floor when you put Ava to bed. So I'm sorry if I did anything odd, I'm also sorry for falling asleep so early."
Oh, this sweet girl.
"You just told me I was special, it was very sweet of you. Then I carried you to bed and cleaned up." And we also cuddled on your living room floor.
Her mouth dropped, then she took in a breath and locked eyes behind me. Oh boy. "Your 'out of town friends' are Chris Evans and Anthony Mackie?"
I laugh and nod, "yeah, let me get you a drink." I quickly order a round of beer as I watch the way her body looks in that tight little outfit. Her entire aura is gold and I'm definitely not the only one staring. I usually see her in her mom attire, and bare faced, it's adorable and so her. But, this is exquisite and damn she looks gorgeous. She leaned onto the bar next to me, this sweet look in her eyes as she nudged me.
When the bartender placed down the four beers, her sweet as honey voice adds, "and two doubles of bourbon please."
I smile down as her hand plays along the hem of my black button up, she painted her nails white and she wore these beautiful gold rings on a few fingers, "you look handsome Seb."
I shake my head and feel the heat in my face, "and you are a vision, you look beautiful, Harlow. I'm over the moon I get to be with you tonight." Smooth. What is she doing to me, this never happens.
She let out a small giggle as the dark liquor is set down, she pulls out her card and I nearly smack it from her hand, "tonight is on me, Lo." She furrowed her brow, "I can buy my drinks. I crashed your night."
I want to take care of you.
Stop it.
"Let me treat you to a night out, please." She beamed up at me and pressed herself against my chest in a hug that felt extremely close, our hands pressing a little more wanting, a lot closer than we've hugged before.
"Wow," she looked down at her drink and slowly lifted it, taking a sip.
When her tiny heels click back to hot on the empty stool, I can't help but admire how ethereal she is and she doesn't even know it. I watch the way she throws her head back and drinks it quickly in a few gulps with a hum when she smacks the glass down.
"Why did you say wow?" I leaned so our arms were touching on the bar. A playful smirk on her lips, "you just treat me different than I'm used to."
You deserve the world yet you've been served hell.
"Thank you for the drink, Seb." Her voice is so sweet and there is something extra flirtatious in her tone. She grabbed her glass of beer and hopped off the stool. Her feet click below her and she stumbles slightly with arms spread wide to catch her balance. So freaking precious.
She looked embarrassed with pink cheeks as she hurried to walk ahead of me. Her strides look long but they're short and quick, she is looking so intensely gorgeous.
I have to fight off the protective parts of myself that want to wrap myself around her so no one else looks too long. Her tiny gold cropped top, the way the moonlight dances on her bare tanned skin, and the way her ass looks in those leather pants.
I am so absolutely fucking screwed.
++++++
Harlow
Sebastian made his way up next to me with three beers, and I turned and grabbed one as I started sipping on mine. The nerves sort of took control of my body, I have been watching Chris Evans on screen for a decade, and June was obsessed with him. I feel my heart ache just as we walk up to the table with two extremely cheeky looking actors smiling at Sebastian mostly. I immediately place down the extra beer infront if him with a smile.
Sebastian's hands fiddles infront of himself nervously. Somehow I don't believe I actually make him like this.
"Guys, this is Harlow. Lo, you obviously already know who these fools are." He set the beer down for Anthony with a smirk as he looked back at me. I was so nervous and I tend to find myself getting shy in situations like this with new people or places...this time, both. And this cheeky boy didn't tell me who I was meeting, not cool.
"Hi." Shit, looks like meek blonde is first impresh. Great.
"So, this is the girl SeaBass won't shut up about?" Anthony teased and I could see the warning look Seb gave him in my line of vision. The look and way he reacted immediately relieved some of my nerves. He talks about me, adorable.
I chuckle at the nickname, and I watch as Chris Evans smiled back at me. "Well, it is a pleasure to meet you Harlow."
He smiled at Sebastian as he lifted his beer, "and to think, we were gunna have to listen to him talk about you all night...now we get to meet you instead. This is the best turn of events." He took a big drink as Sebastian nudged him, "thanks for that, Evans."
I watched the color leave Seb's face, he looked nervous and I toss back a large drink of my beer, giggling as I set my glass down. "It's a pleasure to meet you both, as nerve-wracking as I find it to be out in this breathtaking city at night for the first time with the likes of you. Though," I smile up at Seb, "feel free to talk all about me. I'd love to know what you're saying about me."
They laugh, Chris doing a funny voice, "with the likes of you." Anthony chuckles, "I like this girl Sebastian."
Seb smiled at me with a lofty charm about him, "first night out in the big apple? I don't believe that."
I nod, "we've been here for less than two weeks and I haven't been out at night yet."
Anthony raised an eyebrow, "and she wore heels." I let out a loud laugh and pointed, "I may be a smidge clumsy but I will run in these if I need to."
Chris smiled across the table as Sebastian moved to stand behind me, "so, first night out without your daughter, how you feeling?" He is so sweet, I can see why they're all friends outside of work.
I smile proudly, "odd, I haven't been without her for longer than an hour or so for three months."
Sebastian must have sensed the uneasy topic, because I could feel his body heat radiating from him as he moved closer to me, and the smell of his cologne filling my senses, earthy. His hands play along my arms as he stand behind me, still nearly a head taller than me.
"That must be hard, how old is she?" Anthony asked with a bright white smile. I nod, "she turned four on valentines day. Its hard, most days...but worth it, she's my best friend and the reason I'm a firm believer in happy accidents."
Anthony sat up straight, "happy accidents. I love that." He clicked his beer with mine and I felt a large smile spread my cheeks.
I feel Seb's gentle fingers playing along my skin again, I slide my hand into his from where he stood behind me. I smile when he tenses up and turn in a small circle on the ball of my foot so my chest is against his arm.
He looks down at me with wide eyes, "my daughter gets to hold your hand all the time. I say it's my turn."
Who am I? What is happening to me?
I feel my cheeks heat up and then Sebastian turns and wraps his arms around my back. His fingertips trail along my skin and I feel this familiarity. I look at him, in an instant it hit me... we cuddled, I thought it was a dream but I can feel it.
I sort of study his azure gaze, I can tell something happened by the way his face grimaced at my confession earlier.
"Sebastian, did you tell me everything from Friday?" I whisper. He looked instantly nervous and looked away, biting his cheek making it hallow slightly. Damn he looks good.
"Okay, gotta ask, friends?" Anthony pried. I just shrug it off, hoping we can move on but the way his friends looked at me made me feel overwhelmed. "I just met him and Sebastian is my best friend." I chirp and look at my beer half full, quickly chugging the last of it.
I take in a deep breath and give Sebastian the best smile I can. "I'm gunna use the restroom, I'll be back."
He looked worried as I placed my glass down and I turned to hurry toward the bathrooms feeling too many emotions filling me.
I feel like I'm carrying too many feels at a time. It's too much sometimes, I'd love to call myself his but...no, he doesn't need our shit in his beautiful world.
I stand and look myself in the mirror, the gold silky crop top I chose to wear feeling extra bold, the orange and pink designs sprinkled on it tying the look together, but the jacket was too warm and now I feel exposed. I focus on breathing in the huge wall mirror that covered the elegant black and white restroom.
I open my small pink clutch, admiring my favorite gold rings covering four of my fingers. I pull out my phone and don't see any messages, smiling at the photo of Ava dancing on her first day of ballet.
I'm going to get drunk and have fun with three actors. What's happening? Maybe I just let loose and see where the cards lie by the end of the night.
"I've got this," I whisper and walk through the large white push door and straight for the long black bar.
I order a light beer and watch him from across the room. I pay and walk towards him, my heels clicking below me. I can do this, god he looks good.
I feel eyes, and honestly, it feels strange, heavy even. But then I stand before him, where he leans on the bar, his cerulean eyes tracing me from head to toe and it's like I feel something drawing me to him like a magnet. Everything is always fine when he's around, I don't know why but it's true. I run my hand down his arm, he looked concerned as he searched my eyes.
"Are you alright, Lo? They shouldn't have teased. They know I really like you and I just...I don't want to mess this up." I let the smile feather my lips as I place my hand gently on his cheek. He softened even more and nestled into is as his azure gaze studied me. "I just talked about you alot." I trail my thumb along his cheek.
"Sebastian, it's alright. I'm fine, I just...I'm still working through a few things, but I really like you too." I blinked and let my eyes focus on him letting a calmness fill me up under his adoring eyes.
I take a big drink, his hand runs down my arm and finds my hip, "I gotta say, the outfit is amazing. Gold is great on you, doll." His thumbs pressing small circles on the bare skin above the hem on my pants.
I felt the blood rush to my face, "thanks. I don't get dressed up all that much." I smile and notice Chris and Anthony sitting over on a couch. I feel the alcohol calming all my nerves like a slow massage of confidence raising through me. "Seb, what happened last night?"
His eyes widen and he takes in breath, "so, you said I was special and asked me to stay-sit with you. We cuddled, and I'm so sorry...you seemed completely yourself, just tired. I'm-" I wrapped my arms around him, "it's alright, I thought it was a dream but I remember it a bit."
I felt my ears and cheeks heat up, running my hand nervously through my hair.
He gave me a mischievous look, "if you want to do that again, I'm always available for you."
I nod with a smirk and grab Sebastian's hand. I pull him toward where they're sitting off on the corner, I feel my phone buzzing and it's Ava facetiming me from her ipad.
The music isn't too loud in the corner, so I rush to the couch in the quiet corner and smile at the guys as I sit down next to Chris, "one second, daughter calling."
Sebastian plops down next to me as I click answer. Ava's little face is on the screen, hair a mess and now dressed in pink pajamas. I beam at her, "hey butterfly. Everything okay?"
'Mom, Henry is a sore loser. I think he's angry pooping cause he's been in the bathroom for like thirty minutes.'
I laugh and all the guys heard her, joining me, her eyes widen.
"Ava I'm sorry. He really is, I hid a reeses in the door of the fridge behind the ketchup, go have at it...and watch project runway of you want, he hates it." She scoffs, 'Mom I found that last night and perfect plan. Are you with Sebby?'
She searches the screen frantically, Sebastian leans into the camera, laying his head on my shoulder and Ava squealed, 'I knew it. Sebby, hi... remember what I said.'
He nodded and saluted her, "of course tinkerbell. I'll never forget it."
I smirk as she give him a sweet smile, I lean into the camera, "Ava Rae, I also hid a hostess cake in the junk drawer."
'Mama, I think you have a problem, I'll find all your secret sugar and eat em all so you can't! Love you. Oh and doughnuts tomorrow, don't forget.'
"Yeah yeah, Ava, you'll always be there to remind me. Love you too. You better not eat all of them, I'll me a momster. Rawr!" She laughed, "bye Mama!" Then she hung up and I let out a breath, looking at Sebastian, he is grinning ear to ear, "you two are so fucking adorable."
I wave him off, "she is..."
He leaned in mere inches from me, whispering, "I'll compliment you until you believe me, sweetheart." I let out a whimper at the name, smiling at him and pressing my lips against his jawline as it was only inches from me.
I lean back so I'm leaning against the back of the big beautiful black patio couches, my knees not quiet making it to the end of the seat so my feet stick straight out like a child. Ugh being short is a nuisance.
Chris smiles over at me as Anthony talked to the people beside them. "You're daughter is adorable, how's she doing in the city?"
Sebastian's hands play along my bare arm as the night air starts to nip. I slip into my jacket that I've been holding. "She is more resilient than most adults I've met, plus that girl loves noise and chaos. She was made for this city, me? Still figuring that out."
He nodded, "I get that, the hustle of this city can be alot, must be a big adjustment." I lean into Sebastian and his arm slithered around my neck, resting on my shoulder, his fingers playing along my bare skin softly. Chris smirking at the sight of us.
"I just need to get more work so I can finally give my daughter her own room." I felt the mood shift and I turn toward Sebastian pressing myself against him as his arm is draped around me. He smirked down at me, "I have a funny feeling your work will he speaking for itself soon enough."
Anthony jumped into the conversation, "aren't you a photographer?"
I smile and nod, "that I am."
He beamed, "here, send me some of your stuff. I have a few friends," he winked and I felt a weight lifted from my shoulders. I take the card and smile, "thank you, I will. That's very kind of you Anthony."
It's about who you know.
I gaze into his cerulean orbs and dance my fingers along his chest. I feel every doubt I had about whatever the hell this is between us fly out the metaphorical window when he looked into my eyes again. I saw nothing but love, it was unfamiliar but the twinkle in his features gave him away. I'm falling inlove with a man I shouldn't be and too damn fast. Pull it back Harlow.
"I need another drink," I start to stand and Sebastian's hands pull my hips back down in a quick maneuver. I crash down into the soft couch.
"What do you want, Lo?"
I smirk, "tequila." He raises his eyebrows, "are you anything like Henry when he drinks tequila?"
I shrug, "I'm a good time, great time even. Why is he a shithead?"
Sebastian laughs and nods, "ooh yeah, gimme a minute I'll tell you all about it."
After the round of tequila shots the night started to really liven up, the music got louder and Sebastian's body got closer.
We were dancing on the beautiful open air dance floor, my backside pressed up against his front. His strong hands slowly make way to my hips, holding me gently against him as I move my bpdy against him to an upbeat song that had me just feeling it. His mouth was near my ear, I could feel his breath, he was so close. Shivers roll down my spine at his voice, "you're so beautiful, Lo."
I want him, its chemical at this point, a need. He appeared in our life when I needed someone, that's gotta be the universe. Right?
I like to believe the universe speaks to us, sends us gifts, or warnings.
Everything around me became suddenly unreal, as if in a dream. I turned in his grasp to look up at him, those dazzling eyes drinking me in as our bodies move to the music. "What are you doing to me Sebastian?"
He gazed down at me, his fingers brushing my messy straight hair from my face, "showing you what it could feel like." His knuckles brush along my cheek, I feel the heat rising in my gut.
"What, what could feel like?"
He smiled, "to never have to feel alone in it all. To be adored, taken care of."
I shake my head, "you don't need the baggage I come with. It's too much, and your life is only going to become more exceptional...I would just...drag you down."
I felt the emotions floating to the surface, as he leaned in and whispers, "you have to admit, there's something here. I wish you knew how remarkable you are, how impossible it is for me to stop thinking about you. Its been a week and I can't shake this feeling like I was supposed to meet you two." I could see the fear flood his eyes when he realized what he confessed, immediately staring at me.
I study his face for a moment as everything slowed down. He was nervous, letting his truth out, and it was beautiful to see.
"It's scary, Seb. I don't think I'm ready, there's just...there's so much I have to work through to...I can't deny it, there's something but..."
Then I see the sweet stare of those crystal eyes and press myself up against him, he wraps his hands around my waist and I lean forward. Our lips meeting in a soft kiss, as my body lit up like a roaring fire. I let my tongue trail along his bottom lip, pulling a small hum from his throat as he opens his mouth for my tongue. I let out a small whimper as I deepened the connection. My hands wrapping around his neck and twirling his hair, oh that hair. His hands pull me against his body tight with a grip around my lower back and neck. The kiss quickly becomes hungry and needy, our tongues twirling around one another as small whines fall from my lips.
I flatten my heels to the ground and our lips part, both of us catching our breath as our eyes trace eachothers faces. I wrap my arms around his middle, "well that just made our friendship look a little different."
I smirk and watch the nerves flood into his forehead, his brown brows lacing together, "friendships come in all shapes and sizes."
I giggle and hold him as we just move around to the music, just being near one another. "Can we go on a walk before catching a taxi home? I'm starting to get tired and Ava will be up by 7."
He looked at his watch, "oh yeah. Absolutely, Lo." He waved Chris and Anthony over, they were dancing nearby but quickly made their way towards us when Sebastian did some motion behind me.
"Hey guys," he had his arm wrapped around me, "we're gunna head out. I'll text you later."
I smiled at both of them, "it was an absolute pleasure to meet you both, here's to hoping next time we can chat more."
Anthony smiled, "wish we could see more of you, but we're heading out in a couple days!"
"Bummer, well it was fun while it lasted," I giggle, "Anthony thanks for the card, I'll send stuff tomorrow."
Sebastian squeezed my side and looked at me with excited eyes, "I just had an idea!" Anthony chuckles, "uh-oh."
He scoffs but we're all laughing, I smile and turn to face him, "what idea, Seb?"
He smiled, "you and Ava should come with us to LA comic con in a few weeks!"
My jaw dropped, that's a big gesture, very big. I think big gestures may be this guy's thing, and he's drunk.
"Seb that's alot. I'm saving for an apartment and Henry has been on my ass about it already. I need to save. I wish I could, that sounds fun... I just can't."
"Let me bring you both, I have guest tickets and I'd love the company." I give him a small smile, "let's talk about it sober, darling." He gave me a cheeky smile and nodded as he blushed. Okay, I'm enjoying the effect I have.
Chris opened his arms for a hug, stepping toward me "guess this is bye for now."
He is the sweetest, June always said he was, but he has definitely been sexy in Hollywood for long enough to be a total dick..
I wrap Chris Evans in a hug, and I swear I can hear June doing that stupid tap dance she did when she was excited.
"Thanks for a fun time, guys." I smile at Anthony over Chris' shoulder.
He squeezes me a little tighter, "anytime. You and your little one make my friend really happy, would love to meet her next time."
As he pulls away Anthony gives my hand a squeeze, "till next time tiny blonde one."
I smirk, "till next time, you." I chuckle and shake my head, "thanks for including me guys. Have fun!"
I turn on my heel and Sebastian grabs my hand as he walk. My phone buzzes, I pull it out of my jacket pocket and I see it's instagram messages, so I ignore it and shoved it in my purse.
"So a walk in TimeSquare at night?" He smirked as he clicks the little gold elevator button. I nod and smile over at him, "hey, walking at night is a privilege in a city like this. My daughter and I will never get to enjoy a night walk here alone...it's too dangerous."
His gaze softened, his thumb running along my cheek and tucking hair behind my ear. "That's a good point, beautiful." I smile at the way his word slurred slightly and step toward him as the gold elevator doors open. We step in, Sebastian presses the L button and the close doors button. Now, I know he is hoping what I am...alone time.
As the doors close before us I turn to face him, wanting so badly to kiss those lips again. Before I could move, his hands hold my face as his lips crash into mine, his tongue flicking over mine before my lips part for him. The kiss was sloppy and full of passion I didn't know he had, his hands exploring my sides and back as he held me close, mine resting on his chest and holding his shirt tightly, as if he'd leave any second.
Pleasure coiled in the pit of my stomach under his touch. His hand ran through my hair as I let out a flutter of a moan into his mouth and he pulls back and looks at me with a sweet twinkle in those azure pools.
The elevator opens and I can feel the tension dissipate, I let out a giggle. "Sebastian this is going to be complicated. There are things about us.."
Then my phone dings three times. "What the hell," I check it quickly getting annoyed and it's instagram. A name pops up that I never thought I'd see again, fuck. I feel my heart fall into my gut and nausea washes over me.
Sebastian hurried to hold my side, his hands running along my back, "what's wrong?"
"This is Corey's old roommate, he's um, they're all meant to be blocked."
I click it, and my heart thumps harder than ever, I swear it'll thud right through my chest and onto the pavement if it doesn't slow down.
'Sebastian Stan New Fling'
Sister of MLB star Henry Winter was
seen getting friendly at the game last
weekend, along side daughter.
Harlow Winter, (26), and Sebastian Stan, (31), were pictured this evening dancing and kissing at a bar in...read more
The message attached had tears brimming my eyes that I had to swallow.
'Harlow, funny you think I wouldn't find you when you're whoring around the city. I'm coming for my little girl, and you and I are going to talk. I wasn't done with you.'
I felt my breath hitch, the exhaustion from holding it together was taking hold. "I need a taxi home." I wipe my hands along my cheeks, fighting the sobs that fill my chest, "I'm really sleepy."
He nodded, wrapping an arm around me as he waved for a cab. When the car stopped he opened the door and I hopped in, knowing he wouldn't let me go alone. He could definitely sense my emotions and that felt alright.
As soon he said Henry's address I felt myself relax more, my hand resting on his thigh, and my head on his side as he wrapped his arm around my back and pulled me into him. "I feel so safe with you Sebastian," I whisper.
"I'm glad, I want to keep you safe, both of you."
Wouldn't that be something...
++++++
Sebastian
She leans against me, a beautiful sad girl hiding something and I've never felt the desire to help someone so much before. I open my phone and search my name to see the large article that was just posted about us. Fucking tabloids. They even plastered Ava's photo on one part, oh no.
I look down at the small woman draped over me mumbling in her sleep. She was so tired, she already crashed. I know she's doing so much.
She whimpers in her sleep,
'But she's mine, you won't touch her...'
'Please stop...it hurts Corey. Plea- I didn't mean to, no--' she starts to whimper as the cab driver is panicking.
I wrap my arms around her and scoop her into my lap, "shhh, sweetheart, you're safe. Shhh." I run my hands along her back, "I'm not going anywhere."
She calmed slowly, laying against me as she sit on my lap the rest of the car ride. There is such beauty in her sadness and strength in her soul. I can't stop the way my heart is attaching to her, I have to keep her safe.
Then her phone buzzes and she stirs awake, looking at me with worried eyes. When she realized she was on my lap she shimmied off and apologized. My fault. I looked over her shoulder and peaked at the messages.
'-coming for my little girl, and you and I are going to talk. I wasn't done with you.'
'I'll be in nyc this weekend, if you don't let me see Ava, you'll regret it.'
She let out a little whine and turned her screen off just as we pull up to Henry's building. She hops out quickly and takes in a deep breath, turning toward me with a sad smile.
I pay the cabby and stand up next to her. "Let me walk you up, I need to talk to Henry anyways," she looked at the time.
As we walk up the steps to the buildings door. "Sebastian, tonight was...unreal and just what I needed. Thank you so much." She slid her hand into mine as Norm opened the door for us.
"I'm so glad you called." I press the elevator button as she gazes up at me with a sweet smile that looked so sad.
"It's nice to have someone to call." Her words were seeping with lonely despair.
"Harlow, you're just gunna have to get used to me always wanting to be around you...and tinkerbell." She walked into me with a sweet honeyed hum from her lips and nestled her head into my chest as she wrapped her arms around me tight.
"I just don't want to lose you, I can't lose anyone else." Never gunna happen.
"I don't plan on losing you either, Lo." I'm falling for you.
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A.N.
I'm so glad you're here. This was a long one...just over 7500 words...sorry not sorry. Trigger warning for reading on, there will be mentions and descriptions of abuse. If that's a tough subject for you, there may be a couple chapters not for you.
I love a vocal reader ♡
But this mess is just glad you're here.