Since that night sa beach with Risa, I found myself constantly thinking about her. Syempre hindi naman mawawala sa isip ko 'yung mga kailangan kong gawin at sabihin for that day, but at the back of my mind, there's the thought of her.
Kumain na ba siya? How is she doing? Will she be with me tonight sa rally?
Sa totoo lang, hindi ko na rin naiintindihan 'yung nangyayari sa'kin. But I'm starting to seek her presence more often. Mas hinahanap-hanap ko 'yung comfort and energy na dala niya tuwing nandito siya.
"VP, nagpadala po si Sen. Risa ng representative niya for tonight kasi may prior engagements po siya," Bryce introduced Risa's representative.
I greeted the girl with a smile on my face pero deep inside, medyo malungkot ako na hindi namin kasama si Risa ngayong gabi. I opened my phone and decided to send her a message: "You won't be with us tonight pala. Saan ang ganap mo?"
To my surprise, she replied instantly. "Yeah :( I was invited as a speaker sa isang event tonight sa Quezon. I think they're endorsing me rin."
"Okay, good luck and ingat ka! Sana makasama ka sa next rally :)"
"Bawi ako, promise. See you and take care!"
I reacted to her message with a heart and I couldn't stop myself from grinning. Babawi naman raw pala siya eh.
True to her word, she was present at our next rally.
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Risa won't be around again tonight pero she informed me beforehand kasi ang magrerepresent pala sa kanya is her daughter, Sinta. I'm also quite close with her children the same way that she is with mine. Pero I'm closer to Sinta than her other kids kasi Risa often brought her during the 2016 campaigns.
Sinta and I didn't get to interact before the rally started kasi nanggaling pa ako sa ibang place but once I sat down onstage after another grand entrance, she approached me and took my hand para magmano.
"Hi, Tita VP!"
"Sinta! Kumusta? Ang galing mo kanina."
"Thank you po, Tita! I'm okay naman po."
"Buti naman. Don't hesitate to come to me kapag may problem ha? Na-brief ka naman about what to do and where to go after the program?"
"Opo, nasabihan naman po ako. I'll be fine, don't worry po."
"Good. Let's talk again after the rally, okay?"
She nodded and went back to her seat.
The rally ended and I kept a close eye on Sinta. I felt a sense of responsibility sa kanya, as I feel with everyone here, pero iba 'to kasi she's Risa's kid. I watched her interact with fans and I can't help but see Risa in her. Para silang pinagbiyak na bunga.
Once we were backstage, Sinta and I immediately fell into conversation. She told me about school, her siblings, and many other things.
Before I fell asleep, I received a message from Risa. "Sinta said she had fun tonight sa rally and in catching up with you. Thank you for looking out for her. See you tomorrow."
I slept soundly with thoughts of Risa flooding my mind.
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Monday
"Pupunta ba si Sen. Risa mamaya?" I asked Bryce who was busy arranging paperwork beside me.
"Opo ata. Wala naman po silang nasabi na nagpadala ng representative si Sen or anything po." He replied.
"Ah okay. Salamat."
Tuesday
"Sino sino sa mga senators ko ang kasama mamaya, Bryce?"
"Sina Diokno, Gordon, Baguilat, saka Hontiveros po. The rest ay puro representatives na."
"Sasama si Risa?"
"Yes po, VP."
"Okay. Thanks."
Wednesday
"Bryce, pupunta si Sen. Risa?"
"Po?"
"Pupunta ba si Sen. Risa mamaya sa rally natin?"
"Yes po. Nagconfirm po siya ng attendance kagabi."
Thursday
"Bryce, pupunta ba si Se—"
"Risa po? Opo, pupunta raw po siya tonight."
"Pa'no mo alam na siya tinutukoy ko?"
"Secret po."
Friday
"Bryce, si Sen. Risa, nasaan?"
"Hala, VP, hindi ko po alam. Tanong ko po ba sa staff niya?"
"Ay hindi na. Pupunta ba raw siya mamaya?"
"Opo at— ayan na po pala eh."
Risa arrived backstage and immediately made her way to me.
Saturday
"VP, pupunta daw po si Sen. Risa mamayang gabi."
"Hindi ko pa naman tinatanong pero sige", I laughed, "salamat sa pagpapaabot."
"Inunahan ko na po kayo. Alam ko naman pong itatanong niyo sa akin eh hehe."
"Palagi ko ba natatanong?"
"Madalas po recently. 'Wag ka mag-alala, Ma'am, hindi naman po halata masyado."
"Halata ang alin?"
Imbis na sagutin ako, kumanta siya, "Sa umaga't sa gabi sa bawa't minutong lumilipas, hinahanap-hanap kita."
Tumatawa siyang lumayo sa akin at bumalik sa ginagawa niya. Halatang hinahanap-hanap ko si Risa? Hala siya, hindi naman eh.
The whole day, I was singing the song Bryce sang earlier in my head.
That night, I saw Risa sitting on stage and I couldn't help but smile. Para akong batang naghehello sa mga kalaro niya. Ewan ko ba, ang saya ko lang na nandito siya.
After another grand entrance (with Kiko this time), I went back on stage at nilampasan ko lang 'yung ibang candidates na nasa stage. Sorry, mamaya na kayo, si Risa muna.
I greeted her excitedly, "Hellooo, namiss kita!" She waved back with as much liveliness. Ang saya lang na magkasama kami ulit.
Habang pinapanood ko 'yung program, nararamdaman kong may nakatingin sa'kin. Syempre alam ko na meron talagang titingin sa'kin but out of the corner of my eye, I see Risa, staring at me.
As in staring. Hindi lang basta nalingat siya sa'kin pero nakatitig talaga siya. I felt my face redden kasi nakakahiya. Bakit ba siya nakatingin?
When I turned to face her, siya naman 'tong hindi tumingin sa akin. 'Yung totoo?
We were seated beside each other during dinner at pinagtitripan namin si Kiko and Sharon na naglalandian habang kumakain kami.
"Hay, kainggit." Risa sighed pero quietly lang kaya ako lang nakarinig.
"Bakit ka naman naiinggit?"
"Nakakamiss makipaglandian."
"Nandito naman ako..." bulong ko.
"Ha? What did you say, Leni?"
"Nandito naman ako...usap na lang tayo kaysa humanap ka ng kalandian dyan."
"Hindi naman ako hahanap ng kalandian dito! Nainggit lang talaga ako. Don't you miss having a crush or magkagusto sa isang tao?"
"Minsan."
"Yung tipong hinahanap-hanap mo siya palagi, minsan tinatanong mo pa sa iba kung nasaan siya kasi gusto mo updated ka sa ganap sa buhay niya. Then you think about that person all the time. Kahit may iba kang iniisip, the thought of that person never really goes away. You worry about them. You always look forward to being with them or talking to them. Hindi mo namamalayan nakangiti ka na palagi. Diba that's how we are kapag nagkakagusto sa isang tao? Lalo na sa umpisa when you haven't fully realized it yet."
Napatigil ako sa sinabi niya. That's how we are kapag nagkakagusto sa isang tao especially when you haven't fully realized it yet?
Ibig sabihin ba no'n may gusto ako kay Risa?