✨I hate being your friend. But it's better this way because I need you in my life✨
I can't move. At all.
He goes downstairs and then comes back up after five minutes. Grabbing my hands, he pulls me up, helping me stand up and walk down the stairs with him. Both of us were butt-naked.
He takes me to the bathroom and as we walk through the door, I smell vanilla instantly. His smell. Surrounding in every place. The bath was running and I see a bath bomb unfurling in the water. Making fluffy soap suds on the surface of the water.
Kissing my temple, he helps me in and it is a warm bath, perfect temperature, and helps me sit down. I groan as it relieves some ache in my core and he chuckles. I snap "This is all your fault!" He laughs this time "It's yours too. Who told you that you could find my sweet spot?" My gaze goes to the side of his neck- to the hickeys and I've never been more proud of. They were reddish-purple-like bruises. At least nine of them stained his skin.
That was me. I, Alana, gave Nicklaus Hickeys. And I'm proud of that. Really.
He crouches down, his hands on the ledge of the tub. Kissing me with a smile, he says "You are one in a million." I ask "Why do you like me so much?" He doesn't even think his answer "I don't. My heart does." I snort at that illogical reply. "How can you like me so much when I haven't liked myself in twenty-seven years?" And then a look comes across his face. The same look I saw in Corsica in his apartment. The look when he stormed into the bathroom and asked me if I needed a hug.
The same made me fall for him. I'm in love with Nicklaus Darkling. I'm in love with a man that has been in my head for seven years. Eight actually because I'll be twenty-seven in two weeks.
I put my hand on his and say "Get in with me." He smiles and I push myself forward, making place from him. He gets in the tub and I rest my back on his chest. Loving his hold around me and laughing that he doesn't fit in the tub. He's too tall. His legs bend while I completely fit like the tub was made for short people like me.
I smile when I notice the cold water bottle at the edge of the tub where he kept his shampoo bottles "That for me?" He wraps his arms tighter "I don't want you to pass out like that time, Curvy." I stretch to get to the bottle and get back in position. Opened the cap and took a sip but never gulped it down. I get to my knees -barely- and push his head back against the tiled wall behind him. Taking advantage of the height difference as I lean down and press my lips down. Transferring the water from my mouth to his. Like he does all the time and lick the drop on his bottom lip. He smiles and I kiss his smile too.
He asks "Round eleven?"
X
NICK POV
I'm the first one to wake and smile when I notice I'm wrapped in her arms. My head pressed to her chest.
I finally have her and I couldn't be happier in life.
I almost laugh when I look at her. She always sleeps most weirdly. Eyes thinly open that I could see the whites of her eyeballs. Her snore is light and adorable.
She wasn't skinny but thick- curvy. Whenever my arms are around her I love the fullness of her body. Comforting, warm, simple- that is what I'll use to describe my Curvy.
I'm always in a ball when I'm sleeping next to her when though she hardly reached my shoulder. Her short legs didn't even reach the length of my long ones. I shake my head with a smile and push myself to her chest again. Inhaling her scent of natural lavender and vanilla from last night. I didn't know I smelled like vanilla until I've been told by many girls in my life that I do. But smelling on my Lana was even better. And it made me happy that she was covered in my scent, my smell.
I look up and start peppering kisses beneath her chin. All warm against my lips. She tries to pull me tighter in her short arms and I almost laugh again because she couldn't wrap them around me properly but it still felt good.
I peppered my kisses again under her chin and she stirred in her sleep, moaning without knowing until I watch her eyes open to the light in the room. How she blinks a couple of times to adjust to the surrounding. Her lips are puffy as if she was pouting. Gently putting my hand to her cheek, I lead her gaze down and smile "I want you to only look at me whenever you open your eyes. I need all your attention to me."
Yes, I was selfish. Yes, I was needy. I'd never been that kind of a man until this short beautiful curvy woman came into my life. Cinnamon eyes filled with innocence and curiosity. The perfect woman for a selfish man like me.
She is the harmony to my mess.
She smiles and kisses between my brows
X
ALANA POV
I let my lips linger between his brows long until his phone rings. He groans and stretches his long arm to pick it up. Answering the call against my chest without a care in the world "Hello? Yes." His body tensed as he spoke "Really?" He pulls away and sits up "Yes, I'll be there in half an hour. I'll be looking forward to meeting with you too." He cuts the call and grabs his boxers and jeans. Wearing him in haste. I groan "What's going on?" He talks without stopping "A friend of mine showed my painting to a gallery owner. And she just called because she wants to meet me." He runs to the chest and takes out a clean white shirt. Wearing it over the paint-splashed jeans. Then he sits on the edge of the bed behind me and starts putting on his sneakers. I just watch with an eye open. He is done and looks at me "I'll get going. Be here when I come back because I'll need you if I get bad news or good news. I'll need you either way, okay?" I nod and he grabs my face, kisses me, and then gets up, running down the stairs and out the door in seconds.
Didn't even brush his teeth. Or had coffee.
I grab my phone and turn on the Wi-Fi and then realized it. It was a habit to look at my phone and read the sweet morning messages from Harvey but none came today.
It was seven in the morning and I had to get up for work. But, should I be working there anymore?
X
I gently put the envelope on his glass table. He looks up at me with a brow raised behind his glasses. His black fountain pen stopped in the air as he was writing something on the paper.
He wasn't in a suit but a loose dark brown shirt and black slacks. A thick silver ring on his index finger and the sleeves rolled up to his elbows.
There was an awkward silence between us as he sits back, left the pen on the table, and closes the black leather folder. He asks, his tone rough "What's that?"
After hours of thinking I had to print it out. I had to do this. For myself and Harvey.
"My resignation," I say as if I'm just a mere employee with another job offer. Which is not true at all. I don't have a plan B. He takes the envelope and not to my expectation at all, he tears it from the middle while his eyes were on me.
Throws the pieces in the paper shredder near his foot and I listen to the calm whir of the machine, shredding my letter as if shredding me. He says "What resignation, Ms. Stevenson?" Now there was a bite to his tone "If you don't like your job then tell that to my face. I'll let you go with a letter of recommendation. Go on. Say it."
I loved my job. It helped me get by with rent, food, emergency expenses- everything. I didn't even have to ask Jade for a penny but since she's working for her clothing line now, she promises that the next six months of rent would be on her and I'll just cover the groceries.
I didn't like his tone. This wasn't Harvey but some weird being that was born yesterday night. He sighs and picks up his pen "If that's all, you can go and do your job, Ms. Stevenson." I felt embarrassed for some reason. My cheeks went flush and I hated it so much. I take a deep breath and walk out.
Walking to my office, I see Zara coming up in gray flare pants and a white shirt with the same shade of gray blazer. A pretty champagne-colored hijab. She smiled but I let my shoulders drop and look at her with a pout. Her smile is gone as she looks at me for seconds and then pulls me to my office. Wrapping her long arm around me. I press my head to her chest and sigh "I did bad." She nods "I know, baby."
I told Jade and Zara while I got ready. Jade in my room while I dressed and Zara on FaceTime while she wrapped her hijab around her face, the pins sticking out between her teeth and I scolded like a granny two times at how dangerous that is.
She asks "Harvey upset?" I nod "I thought giving my resignation would do something. But I turn out more stupid than an acorn." She furrows her brow "Where did you even come up with that metaphor?" I shrug "I don't know. Just popped in my head."
X
I leave early for the day. This was the first time I wasn't waiting for Harvey and just walked out to the elevator.
I walked to the car and as I open the door, I hear him "Lana!" I stop and watch as he runs, coming at me.
He stands in front of me, his jacket draped over his arm and his glasses hanging on his shirt. He catches his breath and I wait.
He sighs "I'm sorry for being an asshole earlier." I raise my brow "Really? I didn't notice. Jerk." A smile played on his lips and he nods "I deserved that. You need to cut me some slack after what happened yesterday." We stand in this thick silence until he cuts in "Where are you going?"
"Home."
"To Nicklaus?"
"No, he isn't home."
"Then have dinner with me. I need to apologize for the way I behaved and-" he pauses taking in a deep breath "I don't want to lose you, Lana. Yes, I lost you to him but I don't want you to go from my life. I love you." When I'm about to say anything, he doesn't let me "I know I'm a fool. I am a fool for being in love with you when I know you will never love me back. I'm just a hopeless fool. But I still need you. I'll settle for having you as my friend too."
"You wanna be my friend?"
He puts his hand inside his slacks, a thing I learned over time is that he did whenever he knows he was about to say something that takes a lot of courage to say out loud "We were friends before too, Lana. We just took a step further into our relationship and now we're taking a step back again." I think it over but he states "Dinner will be your treat." And then bribes with a smile "And I'll buy you donuts. Krispy Kreme. Warm and fresh glazed ones." I smile and shake my head "Okay. I'll follow you in the car." He shakes his head "You're driving." He gets in my car and waits till I get in too.
X
He snorts as I park "You drive most adorably." He was mocking me because I have glasses on my nose and I don't sit back rather than always straight up with my hands on the wheels like a grandma. I squint my eyes "Are you making fun of me, Harvey Blackstone?" He nods and laughs "Very openly."
I offered him to pick up a place but he told me that he wanted to eat whatever I want to. So I settle on the food truck that sold the best chicken gyros in the world.
We waited for a long time and I counted in my head that there were 22 people ahead of me. He stands behind me and asks "You like this place?" I nod with a smile "Their special ingredient is garlic in the gyro. And garlic sauce on the side." He shakes his head "I trust you when it comes to food."
"Oh? You never trusted me before?"
"I did. I do. But I know food holds a special place in your heart so I trust you more on that."
I snort shaking my head at this man. He points me to turn around and a take step toward the truck. 20 more people to go.
X
I get our order and we sit in the car.
A plate of salted fries between us with garlic sauce on the side and I hand him one of the gyros. We decided to buy three and share the third one.
I wait for him to take a bite first and as he does, I take a picture of him with a flash on. A memory for myself. He smiles and moans "God, Lana, I fucking love you for showing me this place." When I was about to dig into mine, he drops sauce from the gyro on his shirt and groaned "I don't care. Let me have my moment." I smile and take a napkin, cleaning it up for him as he watches me. I throw the napkin in one of the paper bags and catch his stare. He smiles "Do you think we'll take the step forward again?" I gulp and shrug as my answer. And then we eat in silence. It wasn't awkward or uncomfortable. Just calm.
•••••
Swipe! Swipe! Swipe!
Love, Hope
♥️♥️