38. Leaving Tonight
"You fooled me from the start, when you let me start to love you//And I-I figured it all to be love, but this isnt lovely." - The Neighbourhood
Andie
Days passed, slow at first, and then fast. The never settling paste had taken a place in my empty schedule. Now that my act was over I was left with five things - an endless amount of money, a loving psychologist who because of me, lost his license, a best friend who I barely called because of the constant fear of tinting her happiness with never ending depression, an endless amount of hate filled letters from those who despised me for what I had done.. And lastly, loneliness.
And now, as I looked at the calendar placed on top of James' window - which read February fourteenth I realized that it hasn't been days. It's been weeks. Time really had taken a toll on me. James and I had been spending the last few days packing his office. Although he has lost his job here he got offered many opportunities in Europe until he finally settled for Ireland.
He offered that I come with him. Start a new life, but as I so often repeated and now realize more than ever there is no way I can forget the history I had here and move on. I would like to, but.. For some reason I can't.
I still told him I would reconsider. The thing is, I only had a few hours to. His flight left at ten tonight.
"Pass me the tape please." He quietly said to me, and I reached over for it before tossing it at him.
"I said pass, not throw." He chuckled, and without looking back at him, I flipped him off. It only made him laugh more. "You really are something..."
"Yeah yeah whatever," I rolled my eyes, but smiled anyway. James always made me smile in the most innocent ways possible. Unlike Harry, he was a pervertive fuck just like me.
"Listen, I gotta go.. I have to visit my mom today." I walked over to him, and he put the box he was holding down and walked over to me.
"Okay," he smiled down at me. God it sucks being short sometimes. "Are you still thinking about Ireland? We could make a life for us there... We'll be happy." His fingers caressed my cheek slowly and I nodded with a tight smile. I was thinking.. Pro's and con's. What scares me is that the pro's are much larger than the con's yet I'm so resistant to moving.
"Okay well..." He wrapped his arms around me, and I did so too. "Call if you need, I'll try to finish up here."
"You could finish today If it weren't for the fact that you're as slow as a turtle." I murmured to him, and broke away to get my purse. He laughed.
"I'm not." He replied.
I walked over to the door and looked back at him with a smile. "Keep telling yourself that."
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I hadn't noticed how cloudy it had gotten until I exited my car at my stop. Image looked like they could be either from a scary movie or a sad one. I still hadn't quite decided which one I was in. The tall pine trees looked even greener against the greyish sky, and the slowly but surely dying flowers in most of the tombstones were a dull representation of the colors they once were.
They kind of reminded me of me, I used to be bright, and colorful, and everything went to hell when I had to act as an adult when I was just a child. Either way, although the whole place depressed me more than I already was, I went in.
My mother's grave was far from the entrance, and the longer I walked the more I wanted to turn around and leave. What would I receive from this? More tears? I clutched the flowers close to my body when I finally reached... Her. I stood in front of her grave, before kneeling down and taking out the flowers that had turned grey and perished away and replaced them with the new buttercups. Those were her favorite.
I stayed down on the concrete and sadly smiled. "Hey mom.." I murmured, taking a deep breath. "I'm ... I'm sorry I haven't visited in a while. " My hand touched one of the petals of the old flowers and it crumbled away. "I just didn't.. I didn't want to be sad, you know? I was so happy the last few weeks... But that can never last for me, can it?"
I cleared some of the dust that had gotten on her tombstone, "I got married, you know? Well not really, it was supposed to be all fake, and you would've laughed at this but I was supposed to pretend that I cheated on Harry but it was a reality mom. I did cheat him and hurt him and now he hates me. He was supposed to hate me mom but he actually does," I said with a laugh, but the laugh slowly turned to a sob and tears began to form in my eyes.
I used the back of my hand to wipe away the tear that had fallen. "You have no idea how much I need you right now mommy." A small sob escaped my lips, and more tears began to fall. "I'm alone.. I'm completely alone.. I- I don't want to be alone anymore mommy, I've lost it all. I lost him, I lost you... I lost myself."
"You know what I mean mom? You know I used to think I didn't deserve everything that happened to me but I'm as despicable as those that hurt me. I hurt everybody around me because I get hurt and that's so selfish and wrong and... I deserve everything that's happening to me. I deserve being alone. I... I just wish I had you mom. I wouldn't be alone anymore mommy, I want to be there with you. I want to sit on the couch and watch soap operas with you and Danny after work and I want to fall asleep and have you put a sheet on me and just want you here. I just don't want to be alone."
I stayed quiet then, and nothing could be heard in the cemetery but my hiccuped sobs, but then I noticed something... Someone.
She was bent down on one of the graves, and I could only see her back. She stood up and turned around, and when I realized who it was I quickly knelt down and hid behind my mom's tumblestone. Talia was here, no wheelchair, and she was walking down to the front. I took my phone out quickly and snapped a few pictures of her before she left.
"Finally," I breathed. I finally had some proof of her game.
I couldn't help the curiosity that flooded through me when I realized where we were, and walked up the few spaces to where she stood before. The name Thomas Stein was written on the stone, and fresh new lilies were in front of it.
Thomas Stein... Why would...? Oh... I remember Luke told me she was adopted here. That was probably her father.
Either way, after the pictures I now had, I couldn't wait to show Harry. I nearly ran to my car and to the nearest library and printed out multiple copies of the pictures I had taken. Everyone had to know.
But Harry was always first on my list.
I knew well the way to his house, and by skipping a few red lights and nearly crashing a man who flipped me off, I got there faster. I didn't even register at the front, they knew who I was anyway.
I tapped my foot as I impatiently waited for the elevator to rise, but it stopped a few levels behind Harry's and someone got in. I tried to keep my composure. Then Harry's floor came, and I ran out, yelling a quiet sorry to the guy who was with me in the elevator for my behavior. I probably looked like I was on crack.
Harry's door was one of the closest to the elevator so I got there in no time, a grin spread on my lips. I knocked on the door, knock after knock. But nobody answered.
"Harry!" I yelled. "Harry please open up this is important."
And then I heard something. A distant noise, and stopped.
"Harry!" The voice yelled, and I realized I already knew that voice too well.. I held multiple of her pictures that depicted her as the horrible person she was. My grin fell, and when I heard him groan back my knees fell too..
This was a nightmare. I don't know if it was the shock, or the fact that my heart had just gotten broken for the second time within a few weeks, but my breath began to shorten. My eyes watered and I sat back on his door, the pictures were a mess in front of me.
And just as quickly as that came, came the anger. I couldn't let myself drown in sorrows. I was stronger than that. I am stronger than that. I kept murmuring that to myself until I was finally calm. I didn't need Harry and all his bullshit. I already have enough bullshit in my life so why should I keep taking more from him.
Suddenly I wasn't confused anymore. I knew exactly what I wanted. I stood up and gathered the pictures before sliding one of each down Harry's door.
I thought love would make me stronger, but everything I experienced with him wasn't lovely at all. So why should I stick around after he hates me from one mistake when he committed many. I'm stronger than that.
I exited his place as fast as I came, because I knew that if I stayed longer I would start thinking again and crying again because although I know what is better for me and the word lovely is everything but in my case, I love him.
Before I drove to where my life would completely change, hopefully for the better, I called Liz and let her now what happened, before sending her a copy of the picture. Luke needs to know too.
James' office was nearly empty when I got there, and I figured he had taken everything home by now. Even though most of his home was in boxes too. He was nowhere to be found, but when he finally got out from under his desk, breathing out a "finally" while holding a piece of paper in his hands I didn't hesitate to run to him.
"James, I-I think I know what I want." Was the first thing I said before hugging him. He was surprised, but either way hugged me back.
"Hello to you too." He chuckled back, and pulled away. I looked at the paper in his hand.
"What is that?" I asked, looking at the address nearly written on the paper.
"It's the directions to my new office in Ireland. I lost the damn thing while packing." He said, turning around to tape a package. "Now what is it that you said? You know what you want?" He seemed a bit confused and I smiled at his perplexed face.
"Yep." I replied with a nod and a smile.
"And would you mind sharing what that is?" He stepped a bit closer, and his hand took a strand of my hair and put it back behind my ear.
The decision has been made... There's not going back. I took in a sharp breath before I spoke. "I need a new beginning because obviously my life here isn't and has never been well. I need new friends and a better place to call home. I need to heal, and here I'll just keep getting hurt over and over again..." I said with a sad smile.
"So the answer is yes, James, yes I'll move with you to Ireland."
😣
Harry
"Get the fuck off me." I grunted at her, and moved when she straddled my hips. I was utterly regretting ever giving Talia a spare to my apartment, which I had forgotten, and now was being used by Talia and her stupid friend whatever her name is.
They broke in and tied me up while I was asleep. When I woke up both my arms were tied to the back piece of my bed and my feet were tied together.
I thought someone else had broke in, maybe a fan, or a burglar, but when I saw Talia being pushed toward me by her friend I knew it was none of the above. I was even more surprised when her friend climbed the bed and straddled my hips.
"C'mon Harry, you know you've wanted this for a while. Two girls, just for you. Don't act like you don't now." She said sweetly at me from her chair.
I struggled to push her friend away who began to rub herself on me. "Stop this now Talia or I swear-"
"You'll what, Harry? You've already hurt me enough." She angrily replied, and her friend got off me.
"Help me Angeline," Talia demanded in a harsh tone, while her friend only nodded in return. She helped Talia off the chair and next to me before returning to her position on my lap and grinding on me.
"Don't act like you don't like it." Angeline whispered lustily and pressed a kiss to my lips. I turned my head.
"Fuck you." I spat, Talia laughed, and her lips pressed to my neck.
She began kissing me and I realized in a way I was being molested. By a girl in a wheelchair. How pathetic had the alcohol gotten me.
There was a knock, Talia and Angeline both froze and Talia pressed her hand quickly to my lips.
"Harry!" The voice said with impatience and hurry, "Harry please open up this is important!" It was Andie, and my eyes widened. Although I was really procrastinating talking to her I was dying to.
I licked Talia's hand, and completely got the wrong response from her when she moaned my name loudly. I groaned loudly. Andie said it was important... What if something went wrong and she needed help.
I struggled against the girls and when we didn't hear anymore knocks Talia put her hand away.
"That was close." Angeline stated.
I shut my eyes. "Talia, just let me go. You don't have to tie me up for this, you know I want it so just untie me and let the real fun begin." Then I opened my eyes and smirked.
She looked at me for a moment before also smirking and reaching for one of the ropes that tied me to the bed. "You've finally come to terms." She smiled and kissed my cheek.
Angeline got off me and untied my other hand before doing the same with my feet. I smiled and stood up before turning back to face them on the bed. "Didn't think that would work." I said to them, and turned out to leave. I had to find Andie.
"Are you serious?" Angeline screeched.
"Come back here Harry!" Talia cried, but I was done with all her shit. How dare she tie me up for some stupid game. I put on my shoes and my jacket before approaching the door.
There were many papers on the floor, in front of the door, and I knelt down to get them when Angeline and Talia entered the room. Angeline was back pushing Talia in her chair and I stared intently at the picture.
I could tell it was Talia, even if it was just the side of her face, she wore the same blue jeans and dark blouse that she had on right now...but either way... She was standing.
Andie was right. She has been right all along. Talia can walk and I've been a fool. I lost the only girl that has ever made me feel real over her.
I looked up from the picture then, anger clear on my face. "Are you sure you really need that?" I said to her, and she looked perplexed.
"Need what?" She innocently asked, her friend wheeled her back a little.
I didn't speak. I silently walked over to her and grabbed her wrist before pulling her to the floor. She squealed and her friend moved in front of her in defense.
"Stand up." I spat to her. "There's no need to hide anymore, stand up." My words were laced with venom.
"She can't Harry-" her friend began, but I cut her off.
"Get the fuck out of my house. You have nothing to do here. This is between Talia and I."
"I'm not leaving her with you here."
I swear I was going to explode at any moment. "Leave now or I'll call security." I wasn't yelling, in fact, my words were quite calm, but the anger that ignited them was as cold as ice.
She then understood I was one second away from literally kicking her out of my house and fled, leaving a sobbing Talia behind. "You traitor, come back!"
"And as for you, Talia, I'm going to give you ten seconds to stand up or I'm going to make you stand up."
"I can't! I can't move," she sobbed, that only angered me more. I walked over to her and knelt down next to her, before throwing the papers I was holding at her face.
"I want you out of my face in five seconds. You're not even worth a word right now. I lost Andie because of you, she went to James because of you, and I'm not going to waste any time on you when I could be running after her." I calmly stated, looking straight into her tear stained face.
"Harry please-" she began, reaching out for me but I slapped her hand away.
"You know what? Forget it. I want you out by the time I'm back." I spat angrily and stood up, walking out and shutting the door behind me. It wasn't long when I heard the door close and Talia ran after me.
Ran.
Fuck.
"Harry I can explain," she rushed, standing in front of me and blocking the elevator entrance. I tried to push past her but she stopped me. "I-I'll kill myself if you leave me!" She exclaimed, but I was done with her. I leaned down to her face, and my eyes met hers.
"You're too much of a coward to do so." I icily stated and walked past her into the elevator, my hand immediately pressed on the button that closed the doors before she had another chance to speak.
I grabbed took my phone and dialed Andie's number but it rang and rang until her voice greeted me and stated it was a voicemail, and I kicked the elevator door in frustration and anger before dialing Luke.
He answered right away. "I'm gonna guess you saw the pictures already."
"Yes, and I want your sister out of my apartment by the time I'm back. But that's not why I'm calling, is Liz around?" I asked, I was so glad the day I found out Liz and Luke were an item. One less thing to worry about.
"Yeah. Hold on," he said.
"Hello asshole," Liz greeted. "Have you finally realized what an asshole you are, asshole?"
"Yes I'm an ass. Yes I should have trusted her. Yes I'm the one that pushed her to James but I want her. I'm an asshole okay I bet it but I love her and I need her to know how sorry I am about everything." I replied, and I heard her sigh.
"I think you might be too late..." she said in a sad tone, and my eyebrows furrowed, late?
"Late? What do you mean?"
"Long story short, James' reputation in America is now ruined, he was offered a job in Ireland and he took it.. Offered Andie to go with him... Andie didn't want to because of you... Andie heard Talia with you.. And now it's..." there was a small pause. "Eight ten so I'm pretty sure after she and James came to visit me with their suitcases to say goodbye that she's probably in the airport getting her suitcases checked by a bunch of security in the airport before she gets on her plane to Ireland." She stated as fast as she could but I understood every word.
And when the elevator opened to the first floor I was already running.
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A/N: So that happened.
Change of plans:
Next chapter is the end and 40 is the epilogue
BY THE WAY JUST SO YOU KNOW I DON'T KNOW IF I'M GONNA LEAVE HER WITH JAMES OR HARRY SO VOTE
COMMENT IN THE ONE YOU WANT
Harry
James
Tell me what you thought!
James' promotion?
Andie's visit to her mom?
Talia was walking and shit?
Pictures?
Angeline and Talia Broke into Harry's house to try to force him into a three sum?
Andie's heartbroken?
Moving to Ireland?
Harry knows the truth?
Ending?
Have a great day guys!
After the epilogue I will post a thank you note and the entire Fake Fiancée playlist, along with my plans after the finale.
Again, there will be no sequel.
Delilah xx.