I should've waited a little while before updating, but I'm as impatient as a person can get. *too excited*
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Rose:
Maddox touched me.
That's the first thing that comes to my mind when I open my eyes to the new morning. That Maddox touched me and it didn't flood my mind with memories and feelings and emotions like usual, no. It actually calmed me down. It made me feel safe and protected. Like nothing bad would ever happen to me as long as Maddox is touching me.
This gives me so much hope. I haven't known him for long at all, but now that I'm comfortable with him, that I trust he wouldn't deliberately hurt me, I feel so much better. The stutter is gone when I talk to him, and I don't feel like dying when he touches me. That means I'm making progress. That means there's hope for me after all. I'm not too far gone.
Yes, I've been broken for a while now. But I think... I think I'm finally starting to heal.
And that would've never happened if it wasn't for Maddox's friendship.
So with the biggest grin on my face, I jump out of bed and hurry to get ready for today. I have two afternoon classes and an essay to write and then my study session with Maddox later.
Walking towards the bathroom I find a piece of paper taped to the door.
'I didn't want to wake you up so I left after tucking you in. I'll see you tomorrow, Angel.
Here's my number, please text me so I can save yours and text you in case coach decides to treat us like animals again.
Ps: Happy birthday.
-M.'
My insides feel mushy all over again and I sigh at how sweet he is. I love that he respected my boundaries and didn't make a big deal out of my birthday.
Grabbing my phone, I send him a quick message, my smile still perfectly intact.
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Maddox:
"I wanna meet her, dude. Please. She's my future sister in law." Tyler whines again from beside me as we head inside our room and I chuckle at him.
"She's not ready yet. Social anxiety, remember?" I shake my head.
"I'm not telling you to bring her a party or introduce her to the whole team!" He waves his arms around. "Just me."
"I'll try to test the waters and see if she's up for it, alright?" I reason with him, because I know he's genuinely excited to meet her. I've been obsessing over her for a year and a half now, it makes sense that my best friend would be impatient.
"Thanks!" He grins, throwing his body on his bed. "So what are we gonna do about Lola?"
My mood instantly sours at the mention of her. Watching Rose on the verge of having a panic attack because of her puts her on my damn black list. I've been patient with her, avoiding her as discreetly as possible because I'm not the kind of guy to hurt a woman's feeling, but now she's definitely crossed the line. "I'll talk to her in a few. We have a lecture together and I'll put an end to her bullshit."
"Yeah, it's about time." Tyler nods his approval. "If it was me, I would've definitely given her a piece of my mind a long time ago by now. You've told her time and time that you're not interested and she doesn't seem to get it. Hell, you've told her that before you ever touched her. Chick is psycho, dude."
I run a hand through my hair with a heavy sigh. Now I wish I never touched her at all.
My phone pings in my pocket, and when I see the message I feel my heart beating fast enough that I have no doubt who it's from. It reads, "Thank you for tucking me in last night. Good luck with practice today."
"Who is this?" I type back, mischief evident in my smirk.
A few seconds later comes her response. "How many women did you tuck in last night, Theo?"
My grin falls. Shit, she just called me Theo. Quickly, I type, "Just an angel."
"That's what I thought." My eyes widen. Damn, she played me.
"Dude, are you even listening?" Tyler's loud yell grabs my attention. "Who the hell has you grinning like an idiot right now?"
"Who do you think?" I raise an eyebrow and watch in amusement as his eyes widen with surprise.
"No shit!" He almost does a happy dance. "Fuck, man. This is amazing. Seriously, I don't mean to be an asshole, but I honestly never thought she'd show up again, let alone be this close to you."
"You can say that again." I sigh with a smile, because he's right. I never thought this was possible either. Hell, sometimes I still think this shit is all in my head.
Another ping has me blinking through my thoughts. "Do you have a lecture soon?" She asks.
I send her my schedule attached with a message that says, "Just chilling in my room with my idiot best friend before my first lecture. Practice was torturous this morning."
I'm grinning again when she sends me her schedule as well. "Two practices a day seem way too much."
"Yeah, that's how it normally goes before the big games. We're up against another big school in a couple of weeks."
"I'm sure you'll win. I heard people talking in class yesterday about how the captain is such a big deal. They say and I quote, 'he's the real shit.' So I'm sure you guys will be fine."
I take a few moments to debate whether she's joking or if she actually has no clue that I'm the captian. Realizing that I've never mentioned that fact before I laugh out loud.
"That's it." Tyler gets off his bed and jumps on mine, tackling me half way to the floor. "I need to see what's so funny."
I let him read her last message and he laughs aloud too before commenting on how cute she is. I shove him away and he decides to do some studying before I go back to texting my angel. "You do realize that you're texting the captain of the football team, right?"
I see the three dots that indicate she's typing appear and disappear twice before she goes offline. I frown instantly. Fuck, does she not like captains or something?
I stare at my phone waiting for her to text me back for half an hour before I give up with a huff. I'll ask her about it when I see her tonight. I have a lecture in twenty minutes that I should get ready for anyway.
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Spotting Lola at the entrance of the building with a couple of other girls, I walk over. "Good morning."
"Oh, Theo! There you are." Lola latches onto my arm as soon as she sees me and I swallow the urge to cringe. "I've been calling you nonstop, babe!"
"Can we talk for a minute?" I honestly don't want to do this in public, because that'd be rude as fuck. Especially since the looks the other girls are giving us make it obvious she's been telling her friends we're in some sort of relationship. I want to end this, but I still want to do that with respect.
"Sure, babe." She turns around, her blonde long hair almost hitting me in the face in the process. "I'll see you later girls. Duty calls."
I cringe again as she grabs my arm and leads me away inside the building.
"Wanna find an empty classroom?" She winks at me and this time I wince visibly.
"How about the hallway? We need to talk, Lola." I lead her to the side of the hallway, thankful that the few people walking around are minding their own business.
"Is this about the girl who picked up your phone?" Lola asks, raising an eyebrow at me before rolling her eyes. "Look it was just a joke. I also might have been slightly drunk."
"Calling people names and accusing them of cheating isn't a joke, Lola. And walking around telling people I'm your boyfriend is unacceptable." I glare at her, clenching my jaw. "Look, I respect you as a person and I don't want hurt your feelings, okay? But you gotta stop this shit. I've told you that night that I wasn't looking for anything serious and you said you were looking for a quick fuck too. So let's not pretend that it was anything more to either of us than what it really was, yeah?"
Lola grits her teeth, her manicured fingers playing with her hair sassily. "I want you, Theo. I told you that the next morning. The sex was amazing and I want more of it. We don't have to be in a relationship, I don't care about labels, but I want more sex."
I stare at her in horror. "Thanks, I guess?"
"I don't want you to thank me." She giggles, placing her hand on my arm again and stepping closer. "I want you to fuck me. Exclusively. If you want to label it, then fuck buddies sounds good to me."
"Not gonna happen." I step back out of her reach and shake my head.
"Give me a good reason why it shouldn't." She challenges. "The sex was great and we have chemistry, you can't deny that."
I really can, but I'm not an asshole so I bite my tongue. "Look, I've found a girl, alright?"
"To be fuck buddies with?" She asks, genuinely confused.
"I'm in love with someone, Lola." I roll my eyes.
"Shut up." She denies my confession with a look of disgust covering her features. When I raise a brow her mouth hangs open. "Why the hell would you do that?"
"Why the hell would I do what?" This conversation is killing my brain cells slowly.
"Why would you make that type of commitment at such a young age, Theo? We're college students for God's sake. It's literally the perfect couple of years of our lives to have fun and enjoy our time."
"Falling in love isn't something you can always help, you know? Sometimes it just happens." I try to explain but she snorts.
"I sure can."
This is getting worse and worse. "Look, just quit telling people shit that ain't true. And quit calling me too, please. I'm happily in love, and you're a beautiful woman who has guys tripping over their feet to have your attention. Just let the word out that you're available and you'll find a lot more suitable and better candidates for your fuck buddies position. Okay?"
Lola laughs out loud before looking at me with a smile. "So you're truly in love, huh?"
"I am." I smile back, relieved that it finally registered in her brain.
"Alright, fine." She nods. "Can we at least do it once again so I'd satisfy my hunger for you?"
"No." I shake my head quickly.
"God, you're so difficult." She huffs in annoyance, her hair bouncing around her shoulders. "But you're still irresistible. A kiss then. For old times' sake?"
I stare at her blankly, unamused. "Find someone else to entertain you, Lola. And remember, no more bullshit, or I won't be so understanding anymore. This is the only time I'm having this conversation."
"I get it, Theo. Now, come on." She whines. "Just a damn kiss."
"The lecture is about to start." I nod my head at the direction of our professor walking into the classroom. "Let's go to class."
"I'm gonna have my kiss." She promises and I shake my head.
"Not on my watch."
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Rose:
Holy shit. I most certainly did not know he is the team's captain. Why do I know so little about him? He's literally the closest person I have right now and I still have so many things to uncover about him. I need to do a better job at this friendship thing. Unknowingly, he has helped me so much so far, and after realizing earlier that I am finally and actively on the road of recovery because of him, I know I need to do more effort to make him feel as good as he is making me.
With that plan in mind, I change my pyjamas into a white oversized wool sweater that goes to top of my thighs and a pair of black leggings and black boots. I grab my coat and my gray backpack before heading to the coffee house.
Glad that the place isn't crowded since it's almost the afternoon, I carefully order a chocolate cupcake with the words 'Aye, Aye, Captain' written on it in white chocolate. I check Maddox's schedule to see which lecturehall he is in, and I nervously make my way there, with five minutes to spare before his lecture is over.
I keep my head down so I wouldn't catch anyone's eyes and I try to remind myself that I have nothing to be so nervous about. Maddox is my friend. He makes me happy, and I want to make him happy too. I want to show him that I appreciate how sweet and patient he's been with me. And the few people around me shouldn't stop me from doing that.
Students start to exit the lecturehall and I can hear my heart pounding in my chest as I wait for Maddox to step outside. He finally does with a couple of his friends and they stand a few feet away from the door talking. I don't want to interrupt and he hasn't seen me yet so I wait impatiently for them to part ways, bouncing a little on my feet. I notice how good he looks wearing simple jeans and a black hoodie. The grey beanie on top of his head makes him look like a little boy and I silently giggle.
"Hey, Theo!" A gorgeous blonde runs after Maddox and he turns around the same moment she jumps into his arms. "Catch!"
His hands clasp around her waist as she wraps her arms around his neck and her legs around his waist quickly before planting her lips on his. I instantly turn around, refusing to watch the horrific scene, in time to hear some people howling like wolves and cheering loudly.
I make my way out of that building as fast as my legs can help me, with stupid unexplainable tears in my eyes. The bang I feel inside my chest is unacceptable and I keep shaking my head as my tears fall, wondering what the hell is wrong with me.
For all I know, this could be the girl he's in love with, and I should be happy for him. And a part of me is, no matter how little it is. If this was the girl he loves then I'm truly happy for him, because he's such a wonderful guy who deserves to have the happy ending I never got. But maybe that's why I'm crying by the time I walk back into my room. Because I never got my happy ending. Maybe that's why I feel a fist of jealousy clenching on the broken pieces of my heart and making them bleed. Because I deserve that too. Because I too am a sweet person who deserved to have the man I loved love me back with blinding passion.
But I cry even harder now, because as certain as I am that that will never happen, I'm just as sure that my battered heart is no longer capable of beating with such beautiful love. And more importantly, not for Jaxon.
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I won't ask because I have faith you'll tell me on your own!