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Chapter 11
Why the hell did God have to make love so confusing? Seriously though, why couldn't we just fall in love, get married, have kids and die happy? Is that too much to ask? I lift down a mug from the top cupboard and throw in a tea bag.
So far everything has went swimmingly apart from the fact we nearly kissed. Praise the lord for Filo. He's going to get a very nice non-diet dinner tonight. The kettle clicks and I pour the boiling hot water into the mug, watching the little tea bag swirl round in it. Who'd have thought watching a tea bag could be so entertaining? Wow. Look at me. I'm watching a frigging tea bag! Jess!
I shake myself and lift the mug into the living room for Harry. "Here you go." I say. passing him the mug.
"Thanks." He replies with a smile that could kill me. But it doesn't, I have become immune to those million dollar smiles he always flashes. It took me a while but I eventually became immune. If I hadn't then I'd probably be a puddle on the floor right now.
I sit back down on the sofa, curling my feet underneath me. Harry chuckles and I feel the awkward, tense atmosphere disappear.
"What?" I ask him curiously. Is he laughing at the tea or me?
"You're acting all uncomfortable."
"No I'm not! Why would I feel uncomfortable?!" I lie. He knows I know what he's talking about.
"Look Jess, please don't be like this with me. I want us to be friends not enemies. I know it's going to be difficult at first but you need relax, otherwise we'll be stuck in this loop forever."
I look up at him... Okay, I wasn't immune to his smiles, I never was. I can feel myself staring at him but I can't pull my gaze away from him. He's so good looking...
"Earth to Jessica... Hello?" He says, waving his hand in front of my face.
"Sorry, I blanked out." I say, trying to recover myself.
Suddenly his phone rings. "Harry, change your ring tone." I chuckle, it was Forever Young, the boys first single.
He rolls his eyes and answers the phone. "Hello?" I do love him but not in that way. Do I want to love him in that way again? I don't know. I mean, a million girls would kill to be in my place right now, but I wouldn't. This whole meeting has just confused me even more.
*FLASHBACK*
"JESS! HARRY'S AT THE DOOR!" My dad shouted upstairs.
I paused my iPod and quickly made my way downstairs, the thought of seeing him making my heart flutter.
"Hey stranger." He said as I met him at the door.
He wrapped his arms around me tight as flung my own arms around his neck. "You busy?" He asked after we'd finished hugging.
"Nope, why? You wanna take me somewhere?" I asked with a smirk.
"Maybe." He smiled.
I grabbed my leather jacket, which was originally his, and headed out the door with Harry.
"So where are you taking me?" I asked as he played with our intertwined fingers.
"Back to mine." He laughed.
"Harrrrrry." I pouted.
"Why, don't you wanna spend some time with your hot ass boyfriend?!" He asked with a smirk. I laughed as he pulled me close to him.
"Of I course I do." I whispered. He smiled and brought his lips to mine, kissing me.
*WAKING UP*
"Jess? Is it okay if Liam pops over? Jess?"
"What?! Oh em, yeah sure! Why not?!" I exclaim, waking up.
Okay, I need to see a doctor about these flashbacks. They're seriously scaring me now
"Anyway, back to these photos." Harry sighs, lifting the photo album.
We sit and look through the photo album, laughing at memories and the funny faces we were all pulling. It didn't feel awkward anymore between us. It felt like old times again, obviously not relationship wise but we were getting on like old times.
The door knocks so I spring off the sofa. "I'll get it!" Harry shouts as he too gets up off the sofa.
We both sprint to the door, Harry pulling me back and me pushing him away.
"Harry!" I laugh as we both fall to ground beside the door. Liam stands and watches us from the porch window, laughing at us as we both wrestle each other to reach the door handle.
I stretch my hand out from underneath Harry and reach the door handle first.
"HA!" I exclaim.
"Damn." Harry laughs.
I look back at him and smile triumphantly. We're still collapsed on the floor facing each other. He smiles at me, inches away from my mouth.
"Well this is awkward!" Liam mumbles as he gets in the door. I take my gaze away from Harry's and get up off the floor, blushing.
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"That was absolute tosh!" Liam exclaims as the ending credits come up on the TV screen.
We've just finished watching 'Mean Girls'. "Yeah, I agree. That was a girly movie." Harry chips in.
"Well I liked it!" I exclaim.
I look away from the screen, for the first time in about an hour. I could feel Harry's eyes on me the whole time but I refused to give in to them. I look back to Harry who's sitting beside me although he's keeping his distance. Obviously it's lovely to see Liam but I'm puzzled as to why he decided to call in all of a sudden. I was honestly enjoying my time with Harry before he came. I mean I still am having a nice time but I thought the aim of today was to rekindle a friendship with Harry...
"So, do you want something to eat?" I ask, trying to create some sort of conversation.
The film is over meaning we have to talk now. I wasn't planning on watching a film in the first place but when we all sat in the living room when Liam first arrived I hated the tense atmosphere. I had to do something to shift it so I suggested we watch a movie. They both agreed and let me pick it but now that it's over, I'm not sure I want to sit and force an awkward conversation with them.
"Actually, I really need to go. I have a date tonight." Liam replies as he gets up off the sofa.
Is it awful that I'm relieved he's leaving? I love Liam, but I really just want to spend time with Harry right now. It was a lot less awkward before he arrived which is weird. If anything, I would've thought that than an extra person would provide more conversation but it's actually been quite difficult.
"Well it was lovely to see you again Liam. I won't leave it as long next time." I say as I walk him to the door.
"Yeah thanks for having me. How are things so far with Harry?" He whispers.
"Oh um, they're okay I guess. Still a little awkward but that's natural I suppose."
"Yeah, he text me asking if I come here. He thought maybe an extra person would make it easier to communicate or something. I hope you don't mind."
Of course he did. "No I get it. Plus it was nice to see you too. Thanks for coming."
He gives me a hug before leaving and I'm left feeling even more confused than before. Does Hary want to leave? Is he finding this whole thing uncomfortable?
"So, um do you want to stay for dinner or do you have plans?" I ask when I get back into living room. I make sure to give him choice so he doesn't feel obliged to stay. However, one small part of me is hoping he stays a little longer.
"Yeah, that would be great! What are we having?"
"Macaroni?" I suggest hopefully. Surely if he wanted to leave he would've said he was busy and had to go? His answer gives me a little more confidence but I remind myself of why he invited Liam along and it suddenly plummits again.
"Sounds good!"
I lift the packet out of the cupboard and get a pot from underneath the cooker. "So, how's Nathan these days?" He asks. He's now sitting on the kitchen counter beside the cooker, watching me stir the macaroni.
"He's good actually, he's working up in London now. How's Gemma?"
"Uhh, she's fine. She misses you though. She's always going on about how she misses your daily shopping trips to Jack Wills."
"Awww. I miss them too. I hardly have any Jack Wills things anymore!"
"You should come with me some day, back home. She'd love it plus my mum would spoil you as usual." He sighs.
"Yeah that would be nice. I'd like that." I reply with a smile. I look up at him and notice him staring at me with his head leaning to the side. We're now staring at each other, smiling. Gosh, he's so dreamy...
We both notice and quickly turn away, our cheeks fluching red. What is happening? Does he still like me? I push the thought to the back of my mind and pour the macaroni into two bowls, setting them on the breakfast bar table.
"Mmm, looks good. I'm surprised you didn't burn it." He smiles smugly.
I glare at him and take a forkful of my own macaroni. "It actually tastes good too Jess! Well done! You can cook!" He says through a mouthful of food.
"Wow, thanks Haz." I say sarcastically, still glaring at him. My glare soon turns into a smile though, enjoying his company.
*****************************************
"That was delicious!" Harry sighs, lifting his bowl and my own over to the sink.
"It's alright, I'll wash them later." I state as he starts running the tap for the dishes.
"Nah, it's fine." He replies, rolling his sleeves up.
"Well, you wash, I dry. Okay?"
"Sure"
I grab a tea towel and start drying the pots and plates. I perch myself on the counter beside the sink and cross my legs. I could get used to this friendly relationship. It makes a change from wanting to pull each other's hair out.
"There! That took, less than five minutes." He grins. I smile and he suddenly comes closer to me. He puts a hand on either side of me on the counter.
"I hate what I did to us Jess. If I had a time machine I'd hop into it and turn back time, but I can't." He says, his green eyes boring into mine.
I look around for Filo and notice he isn't here. No interruptions this time then... I set down the tea towel and the plate I was drying and I suddenly feel a warm hand on my thigh.
"Jess, look me in the eye and tell me you don't like me." He states, not taking his eyes off me.
I gaze at him, admiring every detail about him. He's so gorgeous, his eyes, his hair, his body. The list is endless. I do like him, but I'm still not completely sure if that's in a friend way. "I like you Harry..."
His face lights up and I feel his arms wrap around my waist and his lips press against mine hard. We were perfect for each other, I knew we were but is this what I want? I wrap my own arms around his neck as I feel him lift me off the counter. His lips are amazing on mine. I run my hand through his curls. Wow. That feels so good. I haven't did that in five years. I haven't felt this way in five frigging years.
"Harry." I mumble against his lips, pulling away.
As much as I like this, something still feels wrong. I don't feel 100% right. I remember kissing Harry always felt like heaven, but now knowing what happened, I just...
"What?" He asks dropping me to the floor again.
"This isn't right." I say, looking down at my feet shyly.
"Oh." He mumbles.
I hate it when guys only say one worded answers. How the hell are us girls supposed to know what they mean? "I-I think maybe you should go." I say. This awkward atmosphere is making everything worse. We were having such a great time...
"Yeah. Okay. Um. I'll see you later." He says heading out of the kitchen.
I follow him out soon after but when I look into the hall, he's already gone. I see him walking down the drive way through the porch window. His head dropped and his hands stuffed into his pockets. If that was the right thing to do why do I feel so bad?
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DUN DUN DUUUUUN! YUP. THAT'S RIGHT EVERYONE. THEY FINALLY KISSED WITH NO INTERUPTIONS FROM FILO. COMMENT AND LET ME KNOW WHAT YOU THINK! FEED BACK IS NEEDED! I WON'T BE UPLOADING ANYMORE UNTIL I GET 40 VOTES! SO HIT THAT VOTE BUTTON PLEASE :) THANK YOUUUU LANA XXXXXXXX ;D