Not Edited
N I N A
"Is that him." Xavier asks from next to me but all I can do is stare at the screen of my computer.
I have no words as I look at the man posing in front of a tall building. His tall, dark frame covered in a navy suite with his arms crossed over his chest. He's bald. For some reason, that's how I pictured him. The man is clean shaved with an intimidating expression on his face as he looks at the camera.
The building behind him says J Corp. Probably because his last name is Jackson. The more I look at the man on the screen, the more of myself I see.
My father.
We have the same eyes. His skin is darker than mine by several shades and yet we look so much alike.
I fucking hate it.
I had asked Xavier to look up a Thomas Jackson since he's a tech geek and I couldn't find any information on him. Which was surprising since apparently he's a very successful business man here in California. It's like he was trying to keep his identity a secret. Like he didn't want anyone to find him.
Like he didn't want my mother to find him.
"I think so." I whisper to myself as I use my finger to graze his face through the screen. It's almost too much to handle.
I have never met or seen my father in all the eighteen years I've been alive and now that I see him, I'm not sure what I want to do.
My plan was to track him down and demand an explanation as to why he left us. Ask why he kept dragging my mother around like a rag doll as she hopelessly waits for his return.
He looks old. Much older than my mother. Maybe in his late forties or early fifties? The melanin is doing him justice but I can still see the age in his eyes.
"So this is your father, huh?" Javier takes my laptop from me to look at the man himself. He scoffs and turns the laptop back to me. "Fuck that man. He's an ass for leaving you and your mother."
I couldn't agree more. I hate this man more that I hate my own mother who raised me. Well at least she tried to. But she was still there. He wasn't.
I'm so entranced with the screen but I don't feel the small body pushing into my side and arms wrapping around me.
"Hey girl!" I hear Mila squeal next to me.
We haven't talked to each other for weeks. We would text here and there and she would ask if I wanted to go over to her place but Jax was always there so I denied every time. If I'm being completely honest, I kind of forgotten about her. We grew so far apart this year and I didn't find it anywhere in me to care. Her love for her jackass of a boyfriend is so strong and blind that she never once cared or saw just how uncomfortable I was around him.
"Hi." I smile at her and go back to looking at my father.
Mila whistles and snatches my laptop from me to get a closer look.
"Now who is this man?" I nearly gag when I see Mila making sexy eyes at my father who is also a jackass.
I guess she has a type.
"Her father." Javier gruffs out and wraps an arm around his boyfriend sitting next to me.
Mila looks from me to my laptop and blow out a breath.
"Well I can see the resemblance now." She smirks at me and uses the mouse to widen the picture of him. "Is it wrong for me to say that your dad is kind of hot?"
"Come mierda, perra." Javier mumbles under his breath.
[Translation: Eat shit, bitch.]
"What was that Macho man?" Mila quirks an eyebrow and glares at my friend.
Xavier places a hand on the grumpy Hispanic and gives Mila a kind smile. "He just said that he likes your hair."
Mila scoffs and snatches a fry from his tray.
"And who the hell are you, huh?" Mila looks Javier up and down and laughs.
I can see Javier about to get up from the bench but I stop him a shoot Mila a murderous glare.
"What the fuck is your problem? You don't talk to me or see me in weeks and then all of a sudden you're here hugging me and being rude to my friends?" I snap. The nerve of this little girl.
I slam my laptop close and Mila jumps at the action. Her eyes widen at me and then they grow angry.
"Me?! You never want to hang out with me anymore! Maybe I just missed seeing your face but clearly you don't give a shit about me." She flips her blonde hair behind her shoulder and starts to examine her nails.
I blow out a breath and close my eyes for a moment before looking back at her, "I already told you my opinions on us hanging out. That I only want it to be us. I don't want your boyfriend near me. Ever."
I take the chance to look behind her and I see Jax looking in our direction. More specifically, he's looking at me. I cringe and look away quickly.
"You know, your issues with my boyfriend is really starting to piss me off. Kind of makes me want to just leave."
"Good. Then leave." Javier says.
Mila gasps and look to me to see if I'll say anything. And when I don't, she abruptly stands up and glares down me.
"Have fun being alone for the rest of your life. I can see why your father left you." And then she's walking away from my table and plopping down on Jax's lap and smashing her lips against his.
I suck in a shaky breath and feel a sharp pain in my chest from the blow she just threw at me. Never in my life would I imagine my best friend to say something like that to me.
"Are you okay?" I move away from Xavier's hand on my shoulder and straightening up my posture before giving me a smile.
"Yeah. Do you think you can hack into his schedule and place me in for next Saturday at noon?"
Xavier and Javier are both looking at me with sorry eyes and I fucking hate it. I hate when people see me being weak. I hate when people know when I'm at my lowest.
"Can you?" I say again with a little bite in my tone.
"I- I mean yeah I can try—"
"Perfect." I cut him off and stand from my seat. "See you guys later."
There's still ten minutes left of lunch so I walk over to Vincent's classroom because I know he likes to grade papers while he eats.
I don't bother knocking on his door when I get there. I walk right on in to see my teacher mid bite before he pauses when he sees me.
"Miss Adams?" He questions but I see a smile forming on his beautiful face.
"Hey." I smile and close his door before walking over to his desk.
I pull a chair around next to his and sit down next to him while he just stares at me.
"Do you need anything?" He quirks a brow and eyes my outfit.
I shrug and place my legs over his lap.
"Nope. Just wanted to see you. Please," I wave towards the papers scattered on his desk. "don't let me stop what you were doing."
He hums with a smile on his face and hands me his apple that I happily take. We spend the next few minutes with me just watching him grade papers as he mindless rubs my legs that are situated on his lap. It's comforting being around him.
With everything else going wrong with my life, Vincent seems to be my only solid ground. He's my lifeline that I didn't know I needed til now.
I smile and lean my head against the palm of my hand as I continue to watch him.
Vincent smirks at the papers and grabs the bottom of my chair to pull me closer to him.
That action gave me deja vu of the first time we met at the bar when he pulled me closer to him by my chair.
"I like you watching me." He looks up at me with a half smirk.
I can feel my cheeks heat up at his gaze and I get up to slide onto his lap.
"Well I like watching you." I say before closing the gap between us and kiss him.
~~~
"I swear every time I work my body too hard my leg starts to hurt like hell." I groan and start massaging my right calf.
Chase laughs next to me and swats my hands away and starts to massage it.
"Oh I got it." I dryly laugh and try to pull my leg away but he stops me.
"Don't make this weird, Nina. We have a lot of dance scenes together and I want to make sure that you're in top notch shape for our next performance."
I sigh and allow him to massage and stretch out my leg. Margaret has been working us hard because we have our last performance this Friday. I have made some good money with these performances and from my job at Moses and I get giddy at the thought of moving to Manhattan. Well, hopefully.
I still haven't heard from the program I applied to but Mrs. Blackwood has assured me that they get thousands of applications every year and that it'll take time for me to hear back from them. So I wait.
"So how are you and lover boy?" Chase asks out of nowhere and my body freezes.
I've known for some time now that Chase likes me and I just don't feel comfortable talking about Vincent. I would like to say that things have been great between us. That he's actually acting affectionate towards me and treating me to dinners or even inviting me over to cook for the both of us.
But I know that it won't last long. There's only two months left of our arrangement and then it'll be over. I want to tell him how I really feel about him and maybe renegotiate and hopefully be with him longer but I know better.
After these last two months, it's over.
"Fine," I move to sit up and start putting my shoes on. "I found my father." I tell Chase.
Chase's eyes go wide and he sits up with me.
"What? You found him? How and where?" He continues to ask me questions but I cut him off.
"I had my friend look him up to find out that he owns a business downtown. I'm scheduled to meet him next week."
Pulling my hair up in a bun, I throw on an oversized sweater and we both start walking out of the studio.
"And how do you feel about this?" I look up to him with a shrug.
I honestly have no idea how I feel about this. Would my father be happy to see me or be angry? All I know is that I want some answers and deep down I know this will hurt but having a mother who clearly hates me makes me want to at least try to see if my sperm donor has some love towards the child he abandoned.
"I don't know yet." We walk out to the parking lot and Chase follows me until I get to my car. "I'll let you know how it turns out when I meet him."
Chase pulls me into a tight hug and I wrap my arms around him. We only hug for a few seconds before I pull away. I make sure to give him a friendly smile before getting into my car and driving to Vincent's.
He said that he wants to cook dinner again for me tonight so I already had a bag packed and will shower at his place before we eat.
Pulling into his driveway, I get out of my car and walk to his front door and knock.
"Hmm, smells nice." I say when Vincent lets me in.
He smiles down at me and pulls me into a kiss that I deepen.
"I'm glad you think so." His husky voice breaths against my lips. I smile up at him and he returns it before kissing my sweaty head and smacks my ass.
"Go take a shower while I finish up dinner."
I head upstairs to go take a quick shower and then head back downstairs to see dinner placed on the table.
It's filet mignon with seasoned potatoes for the sides as well as asparagus.
"Well this looks nice." I smile up at Vincent who takes me hand and sits me down.
"I hope you enjoy it, baby." He kisses me temple and goes to sit down in his chair.
He watches me take my first bite and my eyes widen from how good it is.
"This is amazing!"
I can see him visibly relax before he starts to dig into his food.
"I found a movie for us to watch after this."
I fake a gasp and place a hand over my chest.
"Are you trying to be romantic right now?" He laughs and I smile at the sound of his deep chuckle and smiling face.
"Maybe I like being romantic when it comes to you."
I feel my face heat up so I grab a big piece of steak and shove it in my mouth.
I've decided that this night would be the night I talk to him about our arrangement. Everything is going so great with us and he's admitted to never showing this much affection to his other submissives. That means something right? He feels something for me. It's clear as day and it makes my insides melt at the thought of him wanting to be with me officially.
I know I'm still his student but I'm legally an adult and I'll be graduating in a few months so I don't see the issue of us trying out a romantic relationship.
We spend the next ten minutes talking about our week before the door bell rings and then loud knocking follows it.
"Who's that?" I ask but Vincent just ignores me and goes to open the door.
I cant see from where I'm sitting but I hear another man's voice and hushed whispers. Vincent's curses out loud and then a stream of coughs is heard from the other guy.
Vincent comes rushing back in with a hard face and I immediately stand up to see what the issue is.
"What's going on—"
"Get out."
I take a step back from his rude tone and I can feel my heart slowly sinking down to my stomach.
"What?" I say almost as a whisper.
"I want you to leave." He faces shows no emotion when he says this but I can see the anger and frustration in his eyes.
Where did this come from?
I look over his shoulder to see Damien walk in and he looks paler then usual. His eyes are red rimmed and he's slumped forward on his shoulders.
"I don't understa—"
Vincent racks a hand through his hair and raises his voice at me. "Goddammit, Nina! I said leave!"
I jump and start running up the stairs to grab my bag. My chest tightens at his words and I can feel my eyes start to sting. But I refuse to cry.
Heading back downstairs, I see both Vincent and Damien talking in the kitchen and they both turn to face me when I step off the last step.
"Hello gorgeous." Damien says with a smile that quickly turns into a cough. He goes to grab a paper towel and coughs into the napkin. My eyes widen when I see blood on it and I quickly walk towards them but Vincent stops me.
"What happened?" My question is for Damien but my eyes are on Vincent's cold face.
He closes his eyes with a sigh and pulls me into his to kiss my forehead.
"I'll call you later but I need for you to leave right now, okay?"
I don't bother responding to him as I turn to leave his house.
We were doing so good and then he up and turns a complete 180 and goes back to being the asshole I remember.
"Nina!" I hear him yell my name but I just continue to walk to my car.
A hand wraps around my wrist and turns me to face a worried looking Vincent.
"Look I didn't mean to sound rude when I told you to leave but I—"
I cut him off with the raise of my hand.
"It's fine." It's not. "I'll see you later." I won't.
I get into my car and drive back home. When I look out my rear view mirror I see that Vincent is no longer there and his front door is closed.
*****
Not Vincent being an ass again. 🙄
So like....from this moment on Nina is probably gonna have the roughest time of her life so buckle up.