The season started off quite well. City had a rough start, losing to teams such as West Ham and falling out of the Champions League. We knew this would be the season to take one of those top three spots. We knew that if City weren't in form, we had the opportunity to compete in Europe, for the ultimate prize. Chelsea and Arsenal were soaring ahead of most of the other teams, with both showing stellar form. Chelsea's loss to Arsenal in the first round of the season was unexpected but with Juliette Walsh's heart issues and then also Arsenal's great newfound form, it wasn't as crazy as we first thought.
Since coming back from the Olympics, and the craziness that spilled over into our short break, Jackie and I had been solid. We were going about our business as we normally would, training together and aiming to build the connection even more than it already was. Whenever my necklace was around her neck, something pulled me even closer to her. I know it sounds stupid, but that necklace has a special place in my heart. It is a reminder of my parents, but it wasn't mine, not anymore at least.
Whenever Jackie saw me looking at the necklace, I knew she felt bad. I tried not to let her catch me glancing at it, but something always drew me to it.
"Brads," Jackie said, one afternoon in the locker room, "please, take it." She unclasped the necklace from behind her neck, holding it out to me on her palm, but I shook my head.
"No," I replied, "I can't have any questions asked."
"No one is going to care," Jackie answered.
"I care," I said, "I care."
"Okay," she said, putting it back around her neck, "okay."
Leading into the Christmas break, we were in third position, with only Chelsea and Arsenal ahead of us. I knew I'd be going back to the US for Christmas, hopefully splitting my time between Sam and Emily. Emily came over to England in November, after the international break and it was amazing having her here with me. Since Lyon, it felt as if she was what settled my heart. She was the person I could rely on. I felt safe with her. I liked feeling safe with her, I think.
"Samantha!" I said over facetime, the day before I was heading back to the US. Emily left a few days before me, as she was going to see her family in Georgia while I was flying into Boston.
"Yes, BVD?" Sam asked.
"Better get excited to see me!" I said, smiling.
"Of course I am excited. I will be having you, other Sam and Krotch all in my house. It'll be a little reunion!"
"What about Indi?" I asked.
"Indi is going to be in Holland with Jill, I think," Sam replied.
"Little poop!" I said, sarcastically.
"Well she is in a stable and loving relationship with a Dutch girl, so I wasn't too surprised."
"Hey! I'm in a stable and loving relationship and I still have Christmas with you!"
"Well, Brads, you're just built differently," Sam said laughing.
"I guess I am," I answered, laughing too.
I soon left Manchester, and arrived in Boston. When I saw the snow on the ground, and the leaves fallen from the trees, I knew I was back where I belonged. Before seeing Sam, I did my traditional trip to Peter and Josie's. I know they deserve more than seeing me once a year, but seeing them, just reminds me of everything I lost. Of everybody I lost.
"Bradie," Josie said, smiling as she opened the door, "my sweet girl." She gave me a hug, wrapping her arms around me. What I love about Josie is how much she looks like Mom. Her big brown eyes and ash hair are almost identical to Mom's. Josie and Mom were sisters, and were always close. But when Mom joined the CIA, and went undercover, they lost that connection. She was too focused on her work, and raising me, and keeping that relationship with Dad, that family became too much. Josie always looked out for her though, and I could tell. I got letters every birthday and Christmas, and Josie always made me feel welcomed. When Mom and Dad died, Josie was the first person to help me, but sometimes it wasn't always the way I needed help.
"Jose," I said to her, as I held the cup of coffee she made me in my hand.
"Yeah?"
"I told Emily."
"WHAT?" Josie said, slightly red faced.
"I couldn't do it anymore," I replied.
"Bradie..."
"No," I replied, "no! Emily is my girlfriend, and this secret was getting too much."
"How much did you tell her?"
"Just that Mom and Dad died in Lyon and that they were spies. I didn't tell her what they were spying on or who."
"Ok," Josie replied, "Listen, Bradie. I love you very much. Since you were a little girl, you have been like a daughter to me. I tried so hard to raise you like she would have wanted you to be raised. I put my heart and soul into protecting you, with every inch of my body. I need you to protect yourself now, okay? I have gone nearly 25 years without telling Peter about your Mom. I have never told him about their job, because to be fair, I am not even sure I know the full story, but I did it, to protect him and you. To protect all of us. Bradie, it's even worse for you. You are in the public spotlight. You are one of the biggest athletes on the planet at the moment, and you are growing by the day. If people realise who you are, or who you truly are, you are in danger. So please, Bradie, protect yourself. Protect yourself like your parents tried to protect you, all those many years ago." I looked at Josie as she said this, and nodded my head. I knew she was right. If I died now, their deaths would be for nothing. I needed to live my life, and keep living it, until the very end.
I soon left her house, without even seeing Peter. I knew I needed to get my mind off it, and see my best friend.
"Sammy Bananas!" I said to her, smiling and wrapping my arms around her.
"Long time, no see!" She replied, ushering me in.
Other Sam and Kristie were sitting on the couch, watching some gossip girl as I entered.
"BVD!" Kristie said, standing up and hugging me.
"Damn girl," I replied, "you're looking tan!"
"A quick trip to Miami never hurts anyone," Kristie smiled.
"No Indi?" I asked Krisite.
"Not this time," she replied, "Sam and I are heading back to Europe after Christmas to see her and Jill in France, but then I'll be coming back for Jan camp."
"Good 'ol Jan Camp," I replied, "I definitely don't miss those."
"So you're staying with United then?"
"Yeah, Vlatko gave me and Cat the green light so all should be fine. I'll head back to Manchester after New Years."
"That's fine," Kristie said, "I'll just have to annoy Sam all by myself then."
Christmas in Boston was as it normally is. I get to spend time with the people I call family, and have a huge feast and funny laughs. It was everything I wish I could've had for many years prior. I never take these for granted anymore. It is everything I wish for.
After the huge day that was Christmas, we were all shattered the next morning. Sam, Kristie and I were still slightly jetlagged from the trip over, but we pushed through. By one in the afternoon, Sam and Kristie couldn't help but fall asleep on the couch. I was still awake, but only just. As I looked over at them, they were fast asleep, laying in the comfort of each other.
"Sam!" I whisper-shouted at her, calling her to come over.
"What?" she replied.
"Look at them!" I said, "they are just so cute!"
"I've got to get a picture of this," Sam said, getting her phone out.
"They're gonna hate that we took a pic of them sleeping," I said, as we both walked away.
"Maybe," Sam replied, "but it's a hell of a cute picture."
Kristie and Sam soon woke up, and Kristie went on to destroy Sam's kitchen, making cookies and filling our stomachs with warmth. They were leaving the next day for France, and so I was trying to make the most of my time with Kristie's obsession with baking.
"These are good Kris!" I said, "you should give me the recipe."
"No way!" She said, "it's a secret." I rolled my eyes, but then Kerr came and sat beside me.
"She just searched it online," Sam said, exposing Kristie's baking secret.
"SAM!" she said, jokingly.
"Babe," Sam said, looking at her, "I love you, but you can't bake without a recipe."
The next day, Sam and Kristie left, and there was an immediate sense of calmness within the house. Sam and Kristie are an iconic but also chaotic duo, so there was a new peacefulness within Sammy's home when it was just us and Pat.
While Pat was at work, Sam and I did what we always did - spent the time together.
"So, how's NWSL life again?" I asked her.
"It's okay," she replied.
"You don't sound too convincing," I replied.
"Yeah," she answered, "I do miss England."
"Why'd you even leave then? You were amazing for City."
"I don't know," Sam replied, "it just wasn't right."
"Are you ever going to tell me what that means?" I asked.
"Brads," Sam said, turning to me, "It just wasn't right."
"But what wasn't right?" I knew I was pushing, but I had to. I had to know the truth.
"The manager-" Sam started to say, "he just wasn't the right fit for me." Trent. Trent Dyson. Now I remember. I remember when I first versed City and I saw him on the bench. I remember when he came up to me, and asked me how I was going and I just ignored him. I remembered the four years of abuse at Boston College. I remembered the manipulation, and poor treatment. Why didn't I tell her this? Why didn't I tell my best friend to save herself before something bad happened?
"What happened?" I asked her.
"He was just not the sort of manager I wanted."
"Sam..."
"I had heard stories," she replied, "about things he had done before. Keira Walsh told me some things she had 'heard' and when he started being strange and controlling, I knew that it wasn't going to be the environment I wanted."
"Did he ever do anything bad to you?" I asked, concerned.
"No, no," she replied, "nothing to me. But to others, I think so."
"Did Keira tell you who?" I asked.
"No, she didn't, but I hope that person is okay now."
The person Keira was thinking of, wouldn't be me. I didn't know Keira and no one knew of the abuse I experienced from me. I wasn't alone in this then. I had an ally. It was only a question of who it was.
New years happened, and I spent the rest of my break with Emily in Georgia. It was great being with her, and her family. We always have fun together, and I can always count on her to make me laugh and smile, even when I don't feel like it.
"You're seriously not coming to jan camp?" She asked me.
"I can't," I replied, sadly, "all the games that are coming up are so important and I need to be there. For my team."
"First camp without you," Emily said, with puppy dog eyes.
"Surely not," I replied, not believing her.
"I think it is," she answered.
"Well, make the most of it because it won't happen too often." She smiled as I said this, picked me up and gave me a hug.
I soon left the US and headed back to Manchester. It wasn't a long flight, but it always feels longer than it is. When I touched my feet on the ground, a sense of peace rushed through me. It is always nice to have that comfort of the ground beneath you.
As I hopped off the plane, I turned my phone on to check for any messages. When I looked at my phone, I got a notification from Jackie. It was a link to a Dutch newspaper.
Jackie: you've got to read this.
Jackie: https://www.volkskrant.nl/willow-meyer
I clicked on the link, to see the title.
Is Willow Meyer echt dood? Het gerucht gaat dat het jonge meisje, dat 20 jaar geleden vermist werd, nog leeft Maar de vraag is, waar?
"Is Willow Meyer really dead? Rumour is, the young girl, who went missing 20 years ago, is still alive. But the question is, where?"
Shit. Shit. Shit.