>>Based off a true recent story<<
>Pls ignore mistakes<
>>>· ┈┈┈┈┈┈ · ꕥ · ┈┈┈┈┈┈ ·<<<
Hyunjin had become good at hiding his emotions and making everything seem like it was alright. And really, he had learned to when he was 16, a couple months before he'd been scouted for JYPE. He had been a teen, casually coming home from school to notice his father missing from the house. Which would've been normal if his fathers schedule had changed, allowing him to come home earlier. When he questioned the matter, his mother simply told him he'd been sent to the hospital to have some testing done as he hadn't been feeling too good.
Hyunjin had accepted his mothers answer. A week passed normally as Hyunjin hadn't heard anything bad about his father. He didn't see a reason to fear his fathers sudden hospital visit. Until he did. Late one night, his mother came clean and explained to him that his father had an acute liver disease. Hyunjin had stared at her blankly, but only because he had no clue what that meant for his dad.
"His liver is dying, and if he doesn't get a liver transplant, he will die with it."
Those words seemed to rattle in Hyunjin's head for a little while. But knowing the truth, Hyunjin suddenly could see a shift in his mothers face. It had been the face she'd worn all week, yet Hyunjin was now able to see the fear in her eyes.
The next week passed slower and Hyunjin had found himself alone most of the time. He had been old enough to stay home alone, so his mother spent most of her time at the hospital with his father. Thankfully, his father had been sent to the hospital before anything had gotten bad. In fact, the only symptoms his father had been experiencing was slight Jaundice (Yellow skin) and stomach aches. So he wasn't horribly sick, and had time.
Another week passed and Hyunjin felt like life didn't feel like life anymore. He was so used to seeing both his parents everyday that now it didn't feel real. He wasn't seeing his dad and his mom would get home late at night. And to top it off, he now had to deal with teachers who spared him some sympathy because his mother had informed the school of their situation.
Another week had passed by when one night when his mother returned, Hyunjin was awake. He'd heard her answer the phone, heard her voice raise with shock and excitement. Out of curiosity, he left his room, puzzled by what phone call his mother had just endured. When she spotted Hyunjin, she was so happy she didn't even dare to bark at him for the time he was currently up at. She was just so happy.
"They've got a liver for your dad."
And Hyunjin soon understood the giddiness his mom felt. He jumped around, squealed a bit, and wore a bright smile. This had to have been the best news he'd heard in a while. The next day, the surgery took place. His mother promised she'd keep him updated, yet the only text he'd gotten was "Starting now." He'd wondered why she had given so much silence, so when he got home, he quickly called her.
"The transplant failed, the liver didn't work."
Is the response he was met with. Now, Hyunjin didn't know too much about the human body. So when she stated this, he figured they'd just look for another one. Except the thought never crossed his mind that his father was now cut open on a table.
"We have eighteen hours."
And that his father was living on a time limit.
Hyunjin's face fell, and the phone call didn't last much longer. His night was silent and full of misery once again since His mother didn't come home that night. Noon the next day he'd learned just as to why his mother hadn't come home. With only a few hours left to live, another liver had appeared. It had truly been a miracle. For his fathers blood type was the rarest, O-Negative. For another liver to appear that matched his blood type, it truly was a gift from god.
And this time it worked.
His father was home in another two weeks after recovering in the hospital. And although many things changed and became part of the new normal, his dad was home and healthy and that was all Hyunjin and his mother could ask for. Hyunjin remembers staring at his fathers scars in shock, it was like the center of a piece sign carved into his stomach. It was cool though, and Hyunjin claimed that his father had the coolest battle scars.
And when his father showed them to their closer friends, he'd tell them he survived a bear attack. It made Hyunjin smile, and he was happy his father was able to make something fun out of his cool scars.
Two months later, Hyunjin had been scouted into JYPE. And throughout his two trainee years, he and his mother realized that what they thought was the end of their liver troubles, may have only been the beginning. They were quick to find out that although his fathers new liver was doing enough to keep his father alive, it too was slowly dying. Meaning it was only temporary and Hyunjin's father would yet again need another liver.
So during those four years after Hyunjin's debut, he talked to his parents often to not only check in on them both, but keep up to date with his fathers health. Regardless of what his mother had told him, each time he visited home the sight of his father broke his heart. He was a dark yellow, and was only getting thinner. He looked more ill than he did for his first transplant and it frustrated Hyunjin to no end.
Two years after the first transplant, when they noticed his liver was failing again, his mother had gotten him onto the liver transplant list. But the list is quiet complicated as Hyunjin learned. It wasn't just some line where you wait your turn. But rather, each patient had their own score, a meld score. This score ranks your degree in sickness showed through lab results. Thus, the higher your number is from a range of 5 to 40, the higher you are on the list. Which means the higher your number, the more likely you are to transplant.
Hyunjin's father was dying, but the labs never showed a change in his meld score due to his healthy kidneys (A major factor in meld scores as they are what allow your body to release toxins). So his father was stuck at a position that wouldn't get him a transplant anytime soon.
So Hyunjin was stuck watching his father wither. Become thinner and thinner, more and more yellow. But Hyunjin was an idol. He couldn't just let his fear and sadness show. So he hid it. He told the rest of the group of course, just so they could understand a bit better. Telling them may have been one of the best decisions he'd made.
They were so supportive and made sure to keep Hyunjin as happy as possible. It was almost normal for Hyunjin to be a bit upset after visiting his family, so Jisung and Changbin would always make sure to make him smile. Chan, Jeongin and Seungmin would be there to cuddle him and make him comfy. And Minho and Felix were in the kitchen in no time to make some of Hyunjin's favorite foods.
And this didn't change even when the group split into two dorms, in fact, it only made them closer and more persistent. And as much as an introvert as Hyunjin was, he didn't mind the constant company, most of the time.
The last year or two were hard though. With the breakout of COVID, Hyunjin's stress levels definitely increased as he worried more his father. Getting a liver transplant wasn't just as easy as replacing an Organ. His father would have to take pills everyday that stopped his immune systems from attacking the unknown organ; the liver. Since it wasn't his own, his body saw it as something it needed to fight and get rid of.
These pills basically gave him no immune system, no way to fight a virus. So if Hyunjin's father got COVID, it could be the end of him.
Not only was COVID stressing Hyunjin out, but the condition of his father as a whole. He'd become a dark golden yellow and was now weighing far less than an adult his age should. It worried Hyunjin and his mother to a whole new level. And with Stray Kids popularity going on a strong increase, Hyunjin felt he had no time to be selfish and search for his brothers healing.
So he kept to himself. He pretended everything was okay. When one of the members asked how his father was Hyunjin would shrug his shoulders, "Same as always." When in reality his father was changing drastically and hadn't been the same for a while. Hyunjin just didn't want any of his brothers to worry about him. They had a busy schedule and Hyunjin felt he needed to worry more about that than sharing his concerns.
Monday • March 21st 2022
Hyunjin was visiting his family again. They had a day off after getting their newest mini album out, and Hyunjin felt the best way to spend his day was with his family. His manager had dropped him off, bidding him with a smile and reminding him to text him when he wanted to be picked up. It was already noon, so Hyunjin was thinking he'd leave around 7:30 or 8, but that wasn't finalized.
He waved to his manager as he drove off, and then made his way to his parents apartment. As Hyunjin neared, he could hear Kkami barking, and it made his smile grow. He'd opened the door quiet quickly and was down in a squat to let his beloved Kkami.
"Oh Hyunjin! You're here!" His mother exclaimed happily as she rounded the corner. She figured he was home with all the excited yapping Kkami had been doing. He stood up from his squat and brought his mom into a hug. "Yup, how are you?"
She pulled out of his hug gently, "As good as I can be." She huffed with a strained smile. Hyunjin knew work had been getting to her lately. Her manager wasn't the brightest and was always ordering them around to do something that not even the manager could do. It drove his mother crazy and she had become frustrated that a job she used to love dearly was now driving her mad.
Hyunjin gave her a smile before he remembered something he'd brought. "Oh! I have a gift!" He'd said gift weirdly as to where it sounded more like geift, exaggerating a non existent E. She chuckled and watched as Hyunjin took off his backpack and set it on the table, shoveling through its contents. Soon he was pulling out a clear container with a teal lid, filled with what looked like goodies made be Felix.
"Felix made you and dads favorites when he found out I was visiting." Hyunjin smiled brightly at the mention of Felix. Despite Hyunjin keeping to himself, Felix always seemed to be there when he was upset.
"Goodness! Tell that sweet boy I said thank you." His mother was already opening the container to pull out a white chocolate macadamia nut cookie, which she bit into and hummed in joy. "Delicious as always. That boy sure does have some baking talent." Hyunjin nodded in agreement as he grabbed a brownie for himself.
Hearing the commotion in the kitchen, his father walked in, a smile on his face once he spotted Hyunjin. "Hey kid, how you doing?" Hyunjin was going to ask his father the same thing, but was beaten to it. "I'm doing good, Oddinary is doing really well!"
His father nodded at his words, "As i've seen!" He pulled his son into a tight hug, hiding his wince. As his body grew weaker, he found that even the simplest of things brought him pain. Yet he refused to let it show to Hyunjin. He refused to sour Hyunjin's mood for himself.
As the embrace fell apart, his father noticed the container of brownies, smirking at Hyunjin as he reached for one. It made Hyunjin laugh and remind his father that they were for them. Once they settled down on their hellos, Hyunjin started helping his mother make lunch. It was a later lunch, so they intended to make it a bigger meal that it should've been.
Hyunjin always loved to cook or bake, despite Felixs skills bettering his own in baking. So he found fun in helping his mother cook. He'd learned to joke around after living with seven other men, and had become very confident in his multitasking skills. Only because no doubt he'd have someone pestering him or needing his attention.
The food was being set out on the table an hour later with the room smelling delicious.
"So how are the boys?" His father asked as swallowing a bite of goodness.
Hyunjin smiled. He was happy that his parents had seemed to accept the rest of stray kids as their own. "They're doing good! A bit tired from this comeback of course, but really happy about how well it's doing."
"I wouldn't be surprised! You got a million sales again!" His mother added with excitement. Every comeback his parents would update him with texts regarding how well the album would be doing. Regardless of the fact that Hyunjin got updates far faster then his parents. He just enjoyed the fact that they were so involved.
Their filling lunch ended with nothing but talks of their comeback. From long hours of dance practice to throat burning vocal lessons, thousands of photoshoots to naps in the waiting room. Hyunjin had a lot to inform them on despite it not being too long since he'd seen his parents last. That really didn't matter though seeing as he could tell what sounded like a months worth of story's that were all really just from a single week.
"Hey, you wanna watch-"
"Yes!"
Hyunjin didn't even need his father to finish that sentence as he knew exactly where it was going. Since 2017, even before his debut, he'd been quite interested in the paranormal. But of course he was a big chicken, so he never wanted to try and do the investigations he'd seen online in person. But that didn't stop him from watching them and learning as much as possible. It had all come from a Youtube channel he'd found that year, Sam and Colby to be precise, and his love and excitement for the paranormal bloomed.
Two months ago he'd decided to show his dad the channel. The duos videos had become so much better after many years of experience, so Hyunjin was proud to say their latest content was the best and would definitely get his dad hooked. Well, safe to say they did. He and his father would binge their videos every time he was over. His mother would even join as she too had a live for anything paranormal.
So to finish his fathers sentence, he was going to ask Hyunjin if he wanted to watch Sam and Colby. And that was an easy yes.
Most of the duos videos were from an hour to and hour and a half, full of interesting and scary content. Thus is was easy to lose track of time. So right as they had finished a video that had them on the edge of their seats, Hyunjin noted the time; 7:30. He check his phone; many missed texts and calls from his manager and teammates.
"Shit." He quietly mumbled.
His father tore his gaze from the screen, "What?" But then he too noted the time and frowned. "Oh, you have to head back don't you?"
Hyunjin could only nod with a sigh. "Yeah, but don't worry! I'll be back as soon as you know it!" His enthusiasm made his dad smile.
"I'm going to hold you against that then." His father threatened and Hyunjin could only giggle in return.
Quickly hugging both his parents, wishing them a goodbye and an I love you, Hyunjin was soon out the door. Racing down to the awaiting car he knew his manager would be in. Hyunjin worried he would be upset, but at the same time knew this manager was pretty easy going.
Hopping in the car Hyunjin quickly announced that he was sorry, which led his manager to chuckle. "Jin you're fine. It's nice to spend time with your parents, I can understand losing track of time." Hyunjin's shoulders slumped in relief. The last thing he'd wanted to do was make his manager angry.
On the way home, Hyunjin filled his manager in on his day with his parents. It was almost the same every time he did it, but truth be told his manager loved it. He knows that the time the boys spend with their parents is important, and thus he loves hearing the joy from Hyunjin after each visit. It's also why he's extremely grateful that Australia opened back up and The aussie duo could finally see their parents after such a long time.
His manager dropped him off, bidding him goodnight even though he knew the boy would be up extremely late as always. And then Hyunjin was racing off to the dorm, excited to just lounge with the rest of his family.
Surprisingly, in his own apartment, Felix was the first to greet him as said member was busy in the kitchen. "Oh Hyunjinnie! Your home!" he excitedly exclaimed as he gave Hyunjin a quick hug. Ever so the cuddle bug. "Did they like the brownies?!"
Hyunjin chuckled at the excited September twin. "Of course they did, they always do as does everyone else." Felix slapped his shoulder, "Don't fuel my ego. I don't need to get an ego as big as Jisungs." That made the two giggle, and laugh even more as Jisung walked into the kitchen.
"Did someone say my name?" He asked with a cocked eyebrow and a mischievous grin. Felix and Hyunjin rapidly shook the heads. Jisungs hands rose and his fingers started wiggling. "Are you sure?" Jisungs tickle fingers were none to be messed with, so Hyunjin sold Felix out.
"It was him!!" And pointed a daring finger at Felix who let out a nervous chuckle.
Yet Jisungs finger crept closer to Hyunjin. "Wow, what a bad friend, selling out the poor old sunshine. I think that deserves some tickles...." His mischievous grin grew as he inched towards Hyunjin who took steps away in return. "H-Hey! I was helping you out! Did Felix say ego? What ego?? All I know is sweet and innocent Jisung!!" Hyunjin was rambling now as he could feel the wall nearing behind him.
"Is that so?" Now Felix had joined Jisung and crept forward as well with a smirk that shouldn't be on the sweet sunshine that Felix was. "Of course!! I wouldn't lie to you Sung!"
Jisung chuckled, "Of course you wouldn't. Because my ego definitely wasn't part of our enemies trope." And with that, He and Felix lunged and Hyunjin let out a yelp.
He was now on the floor, giggling and begging for the September twins to to stop at the same time. They tickled his stomach, his neck, armpits, and everywhere else they found would make Hyunjin laugh and squirm. At some point, Hyunjin saw Chan enter the kitchen, look down at the flailing mess that Hyunjin was, and walk right back out.
So when Changbin came into the kitchen, Hyunjin shouted at him. "H-Hyung!! Haha! H-help me!! Ahaha stop!" Said Hyung playfully rolled his eyes and walked over, pushing the twins off of Hyunjin, who was now trying to catch his breath as his abdomen ached. "Y'all trying to kill him or something?" He asked with a chuckle.
Jisung huffed, "Felix claimed I had and Ego."
"And so you attacked Hyunjin?"
"He sold Felix out, survival of the fittest."
"Well if that's the case, i'm more fit so I can tell you that you do have an ego Sung." Jisung gaped at his Hyung and Felix held in his laughter. "But I think we all have a bit of one, so your not alone." And with that, Changbin pulled Hyunjin out of the kitchen and into his own room. Without a second thought, Hyunjin dive bombed into Changbins bed, wrapping himself up in his blankets.
Changbin just watched Hyunjin with adoration before climbing onto the bed himself. "Are you tired?" He asked Hyunjin who had curled into his side and now had his eyes closed. Hyunjin hummed and Changbin wasn't surprised. Whether it was late nights full of art, dancing, or music, he knew Hyunjin was a night owl. And so sometimes his habits but him in the but. "Then let's sleep. Unless you're hungry, than we can go back to the kitchen. Those gremlins should be gone by now."
"Nah, let's sleep Hyung. I'm comfortable anyway, to lazy to get up now." His head of Changbins chest as a blanket was thrown over them. He felt Changbin chest vibrate as he chuckled, and then his heartbeat could be heard loud and clear once again. Changbin pulled Hyunjin closer, snuggling up to him himself. And now 10 minutes later both were out for the night.
Tuesday • March 22nd 2022
Hyunjin hadn't planned to get a call from his mother the next day around 3 pm. But regardless, it destroyed his mood rather quickly.
"Your father is in the hospital. He was found almost unresponsive this morning and currently has a blood infection."
Normally, hearing a parent or lived one is in the hospital would induce fear, but hospitals had been part of Hyunjin's life for six years. So oddly enough, he took it casually. Sure, he wished his father well and a safe recovery, but from what he'd heard nothing seemed fear worthy.
So his week went by normally as he got daily updates from his mother, who like years before had spent a lot of her time at the hospital with him. On Thursday, his mother informed him that his fathers meld score had jumped from 29 to 45 due to his currently failing kidneys. This immediately made his fathers place on the list jump, and he was now possibly the highest.
Meaning one thing:
Transplant was possible in the next Week.
But his mother told him to even transplant, they needed to get rid of the blood infection and get his blood pressure to a healthy number. As Friday came, he'd gotten good news from his mother who'd claimed that even though they'd put his dad under so they could work on him and monitor him easily, they'd were able to stabilize his blood pressure with medicine. Which was a good thing as his blood pressure was around the 50s when to transplant it needed to be above 60.
Things were going good and Hyunjin was hopeful. He even called a team meeting to inform the members of the recent news. They'd done a bit of celebrating which really only consisted of takeout, movies, cuddles and occasional tickle fights. Friday was a good day though, and Hyunjin felt himself fall asleep with a smile.
Saturday • March 26th 2022
Hyunjin flopped down on the hardwood floor, and as normal, very dramatically. Jisung and Felix joined him too, all three of their chests rising and falling quite rapidly. Domino was playing again as everyone had been too tired to walk to the stereo and turn it off. They were currently trying to perfect the dances they knew they have to dance to at the concert.
As Hyunjin lay on the floor, his hair had splayed out, and Felix had quickly taken interest. Once Jisung had noticed what he was doing, he joined in, though he didn't really know how to braid. "Hyunnie your hair is so pretty. As good as short hair looks on you, long hair had to be my favorite." Felix said, finishing a braid only to let it fall apart so he could start over.
"That's what i'm saying!!" Jeongin had shouted from the couch between Minho and Chan. The oldest had chuckled and Chan had ruffled the youngers hair. "Maybe I should grow my hair out...." Jeongin mumbled and thought.
But Hyunjin sat up quite quickly, making the twins behind him yelp and quickly let go of his hair as to not pull it. "You should Innie!! Aish it would make our baby bread look so handsome!" Jeongin blushed at his Hyungs words, but soon the rest of his Hyungs were agreeing.
As the taunting and giggles quieted, a phone started ringing. It was quite obvious as to who's it was as the ringtone was their song #LoveStay. So Hyunjin quickly got up, rushing to his bag to get his phone and answer. It was his mom.
"Hello?"
"Jinnie, what are you doing right now?"
"Dance practice, why what's up?"
"I'm going to need you to get to the hospital as soon as you can. Bring the members if you'd like, i'm sure you'll need them."
"Okay? Wait mom why?"
"Hyunjin your father isn't doing good."
"Wait what? What's going on??"
"Hyunjin please."
"Okay Okay, i'll be there as soon as I can."
"Okay baby, see you soon."
And the line ended. Hyunjin looked to his members with fear as he dreaded the direction he thought this was going. Words didn't need to be shared as every member in the room started to get their things and rush out of the company building.
9:42 Pm
Hyunjin stared in utter shock, tears still flowing down his cheeks as other tear tracks dried. His face felt puffy and crusty, but of course with reason. His pulse had just flatline as the life support was turned off. Hyunjin couldn't believe it, but tried to distract himself by drowning in his leaders embrace.
"How is this real?" He'd asked his Hyung, who'd only calmly shushed him and told him to cry, to let it all out.
He did of course. And Chan's shirt was wet with tears that weren't his. His mother found comfort in Minho and Changbin. She loved them all as her own sons, and the boys all saw her as a mother is ways. So giving her comfort was natural, as she taken it without hesitation. The youngest four stood around, sniffling and wiping at their faces till they felt a burning sensation. The man on the bed silent, and as much as he was loved, it was a dread seeing him there.
Hyunjin's father was gone, and he had no idea how he was going to carry on.
Sunday • March 27th 2022
Hyunjin sat alone in his room on the edge of his bed, staring at anything and everything around his room. He doesn't know what he's doing, or why he's doing it, but everything in his room seems to remind him of his father. Gifts he'd gotten over the years that he kept with him, clothes his father had bought, things his father had built, photos of him, even things that really had no correlation seemed to gain a connection.
Hyunjin was stuck. Staring at everything in his room as tears silently rolled down his face. He started thinking of the future and his fathers plans he'd shared with Hyunjin.
They'd never happen with his father physically there.
He thinks about the constants, the things that used to be so often. Like Christmas with his family, his weekly meetings, random trips to the movie, his Sam and Colby binge sessions. Anything he did with his father so constant it became habit.
Would never happen again.
Hyunjin starts to panic on what he knows, and what he remembers. He's never had a good memory, so tears thicken when he can't seem to find a memory where his father wasn't sick. He starts to overthink things like his father voice, and how suddenly it seemed so hard to hear in his head.
Then he thinks about things like concerts and comebacks. Something his father would never see nor hear again. He thinks of his mother, and it makes him choke out a sob when he realized how lonely she might get.
It's all gut wrenching and Hyunjin wondered why he thinks like this. Why does sit here alone with waterfalls as eyes. Why does everything seem so hard to look at. Why does it seem so hard to distract himself from the reality he currently doesn't want to live. Hyunjin stared at the phone beside him, and he can't fathom the thought of being on it.
He knows his mother has told close friends and family, and so he knows the texts and voicemails would only send him into another crying fit when his current one just can't seem to stop.
"Hyunjin?"
He jumps slightly at the voice behind his door. He forgets he has a world full of comfort outside that door. But it's another thing he feels lost doing. He'll just end up moping around like a lost puppy. And really, there are times like this that despite the cruelty of his mind, he wants to be alone and just cry.
"Yes?"
"May I come in?"
It's only noon, and they'd been given a week off to start off with. So his members were all home, and no doubt by now, all at his dorm rather than the other one. Chan's voice sounded so soothing and he couldn't even see his Hyung. Yet hearing his voice, Hyunjin craved nothing but a hug and cuddles, so much so he whimpered and tears threatened once again.
"Please."
Chan had opened the door, his face a little puffy as well. Whether it be from crying over the loss, crying over Hyunjin, or maybe even both. His face immediately soften at the sight of Hyunjin, who could really be called a dumpling the way his face had become puffy and his eyes though open, seemed to struggle to see.
"Oh Hyunjinnie." Arms already outstretched, he approached the younger, engulfing him in a hug and he lay them down on the bed. It didn't take long for Hyunjin to hide his face in Chan's chest, sniffling as he struggled to calm down.
"You're okay baby, your okay."
Hyunjin wasn't okay, but he loved Chan's words despite the falseness of them. He loved Chan, and maybe that's why he let it go.
"I-I don't know what to d-do." He gotten out with a couple of ragged breaths.
"You don't have to right now. All that you need to do now is find comfort in us, and let us take care of you." Chan told him as his hands now ran up and down his back in a soothing manner. "I-I just c-can't stop thinking a-about him."
"I know baby, and that'll be the hardest part. But like I said, we are here for you and want to do everything in our power to help." Chan himself was tearing up by hearing his member in pain. Chan was always weak hearted when his members were upset, so this situation took a toll on his emotions.
"So, how about you come out and let dumb and dumber cuddle you while I make us some lunch?" Hyunjin nodded in his embrace and Chan smiled. "Is there anything you have in mind for lunch?"
He heard Hyunjin sniffle, burning his face further, "Cheesy Ramen?" The muffled response was just audible and Chan hummed, "Sounds good to me! Now Hyunnie, to make us lunch you have to let go. In just a couple more seconds you'll be in someone else's embrace." Hyunjin huffed with a small, barely audible giggle, but let go nevertheless.
Chan cooed at the puffy baby, and wiped his tears away. He grabbed one of the boys hands gently and led him to Jisung and Changbin shoes already made the couch look as comfy as possible. Truth be told, while Hyunjin hid away, the trio was planning on ways they could comfort Hyunjin. And despite the boys rebuttals in interviews, they knew he loved physical contact.
So they decided that while Chan make lunch, Changbin and Jisung would cuddle with Hyunjin and do anything else they could to make him happy.
The cuddle duo came into view and they gave Hyunjin and soft smile. But then the cuteness seemed to overload and Changbin jumped up with a squeal, racing towards Hyunjin. "So Cute!!!" Squishing his cheeks and then giving him a kiss on the cheek. They heard Jisung clear his throat behind them. "Still waiting for my turn." He announced with a huff.
Chan giggled, letting go of Hyunjin's hand only to transfer the youngers hand to Changbins, who led the boy to the couch. Hyunjin was placed in between the two and was immediately tucked into blankets and wrapped with comforting arms. Chan smiled at the sight, and then nodded in the direction of the kitchen, Im going to make lunch.
Changbin gave him a thumbs up, and then returned his attention to the boy next to him, who was quietly giggling as Jisung cooed and held his face softly.
15 Minutes later, Chan returned to the living room, setting four decent sized bowls of Cheesy Ramen on the low table. Hyunjin's gaze slowly moved to the food, his eyes heavy from all the cuddling and soft affection. Chan's eyes softened at the sight. At this point, Jisung and Changbin had started to pay more attention to the TV once they'd noticed Hyunjin getting sleepy.
They'd let him find comfort in their warmth, not letting a single part of if him get cold as even each of his hands was held by the cuddly duo.
As much as Chan wanted Hyunjin to sleep, knowing damn well he hadn't gotten much sleep last night, the boy needed to eat something. "Hyunnie baby, can you eat this for me real quick? Than you can nap with Sungie and Binnie I promise."
From his place leaned against Changbins shoulder, Hyunjin whined, but reluctantly picked up his head. Jisung and Changbin let go of his hands with promises to hold them again when he was done eating. Then, Chan handed him his bowl, the heat still warmer than the temperature of his hands. Hyunjin stared down at the bowl, feeling so hungry but so not at the same time.
How could he enjoy something so delicious when his father would never taste the salty goodness ever again?
It was thoughts like those that were so unnecessary that it made Hyunjin upset, and this reach for the spoon. His first bite was delicious and warm, the broth going down his throat soothingly, and the noodles too once they were nothing but mush. Regardless of his hesitance at first, the bowl was empty in five minutes.
"Thank you Channie Hyung." He mumbled to his leader quietly, Chan looked up at his with a grateful smile, "Of course! Now here, i'll take the bowl and you can settle back down for your nap." The leader took the bowl from Hyunjin's hands, who felt bad enough for his leader doing so much.
But Hyunjin couldn't ignore the smile Chan wore, and so he felt a bit better knowing his Hyung wasn't mad or upset about having to do so much.
Once the two on his sides had finished eating, Hyunjin gave each of them a hand to hold as his head fell back onto Changbins comfy shoulder. As Jisung played with his fingers, it didn't take long for the heavy feeling to return to his eyes. Though he was still hesitant to fall asleep. Chan, who'd returned from the kitchen, seemed to notice.
"Go to sleep Hyunnie. We will be right here, there's no need to worry."
So Hyunjin didn't, and closed his eyes with no intention of opening them again in at least another hour.
————
The next day left Hyunjin moping around once again. It was such a weird mix of emotions, so much so he thought he was bipolar. Hyunjin smiled and laughed around his brothers, but on his own accord, he cried, he was silent, his lips were fallen into a frown, and he couldn't find anything to make himself happy. Nothing seemed to entertain him as much as he wanted them too.
So, he did a lot of sleeping. He'd curl up with a stuffed turtle that made him think of his dad, and sleep and sleep until he couldn't.
3Racha had finally become emotional themselves. They'd cuddle Hyunjin and done anything they could to help him. But as much as they wanted to, they couldn't take all of Hyunjin's upset emotions away from him alone. This time, they'd planned to send him to the other dorm for the day. Of course all four members in that dorm would help, but the main intention there was to gain a comfort from Felix.
Felix and Hyunjin often found comfort in each other, so it seemed like a reasonable option. Then again, Hyunjin liked to find comfort in anyone as he trusted and loved all the members.
Thus that Monday morning, Chan had woken him up with a light and soothing shake. Helping him to the shower, picking out and outfit for him that was comfortable, and even helping as to dry his hair. He'd said it already, but he was going to give his all to make Hyunjin happy.
So as he sent him off to the other dorm, he'd pulled him into a hug and given him a soft peck on the forehead. "Call me if you need anything. I'm sure the others can provide, but just in case you need your favorite Hyung." Chan gave him a cheeky smile with his joke which resulted in a small giggle.
When Hyunjin walked through the "cute" dorms door, Jeongin was on his instantly. It had only been a day since he'd seen anyone in this dorm, but it had felt like a while. He'd hidden himself away in his room, so coming to this dorm wouldn't have happened. The only way he would've seen the members of this dorm would have been if they'd come over themselves.
"Hyung! Felix Hyung made a bunch of desserts! But he smacked my hand when I tried to grab one!" The maknae whined as he held his hand as if it were in great measures of pain.
This felt normal.
"What?! Oh my baby he hit you?! Where is he?? I'll get revenge for you!" And suddenly a mopey Hyunjin had been turned to a stomping Hyunjin who was in charge of finding a violent sunshine. He'd found him of course, sitting on the couch. So he dive bombed him in a hug, tackling him into the couch. Hyunjin got Jeongin's revenge of course, and then made Felix give Jeongin a brownie for his troubles.
"Where's Minho and Seungmin?" Hyunjin asked when he noticed his old roommates were no where to be seen. Jeongin giggled, "That's a surpriseee."
Hyunjin's ears perked, a surprise? For him? He hoped it wasn't anything crazy, he didn't deserve something crazy, or at least that's what Hyunjin thought.
The three turned there heads when not only a door opening could be heard, but barking. Hyunjin got up first because the barking sounded oddly familiar. True to his ears, once the dog came into sight, Hyunjin teared up a bit. It was Kkami. He hadn't seen Kkami in a week but for some reason, he felt the need to be closer to the dog.
Or maybe it was that seeing Kkami was Normal. And that's what Hyunjin was lacking: Normalcy. Nothing felt normal, nothing felt real. And all Hyunjin wanted was that normal feeling back.
Kkami ran to his owners feet, his yapping quiet and was now fully of wagging tails and bouncing paws. Hyunjin picked him up without hesitation, kissing his nose and holding him close. The little dogs tail only wagged faster.
"We also decided that in taking Kkami for the day, we wanted to give your mom a gift. Going out in public will be difficult right now, so we decided to pay the store a visit and stock up her food, and favorite snacks. I've also told her I can bring homemade dinners Tuesday and Thursday. Just like you, we want her taking a. break." Hyunjin let a few tears fall at Minhos words.
He'd kept in touch with his mom, even calling her to help sooth her. But he'd also been so caught up with his own emotions and problems he didn't think to help her out in easy his members did. "Words really can't describe how thankful I am for you guys." Hyunjin whimpered out as he felt himself become more emotional.
Seungmin put down his grocery bags and walked towards the now weeping boy. He gently took Kkami from his grasp, and pulled him in to his embrace. He rubbed Hyunjin's back soothingly as he stared at Felix in front of him with a sad look. They realized that Hyunjin's self consciousness made him not see how important he was to the group, how important he was outside of the skills he gave the group, how important he was outside of Stray Kids.
He was family. And that should be a good enough answer to everything the boys were willing to do.
Hyunjin ended up staying the night at that dorm, as all five of them had all fallen asleep on the couch, Kkami too. After their sullen moment earlier, Minho had refused to let any sad emotions appear again for the rest of the day. He'd told the other three his thoughts, and they'd heavily agreed. So they did everything they could to make life seem normal again.
And true to their plan, Hyunjin didn't frown until his sleeping form forced him to. But even then it was a pout that had the four cooing (And taking pictures for blackmail).
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Hyunjin got better. The first week he had at least one breakdown each day, but they seemed to get less intense. Sometimes they be over little things like an object that made him think of his dad. But some were heavy thoughts like not ever seeing his dad again. It was something you never thought of until it was true, this it hurt like hell.
But he was better. Day after day Hyunjin distracted himself with the members. They did everything in their power to make it seem like nothing happened at all. And so oddly enough, Hyunjin found himself upset a lot less. He had reminded himself of the things that made him happy, the things that were his outlets in life.
Now they were his family, so he loved them regardless, but this made him even closer to them. It made him realize just how much he needed them, and how much he loved them.
When you need it so much you become addicted, and you love it. When you love so much it's what let's you live, and you need it.
Love and Need seemed to become very similar. But Hyunjin found it easy to let them be one in the same for as they both describe how he felt about his family.
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7300 Words
The label above said based off a true story, as it is my own story. March 26th of this year my dad passed to what ended up being multiple organ failure. What started as an acute liver disease ended in everything failing on him when his blood pressure dropped. I struggled a lot. For something that had become my normal for 6 years, for someone who's been my dad for 17 years, it was hard. I couldn't distract myself without somehow thinking of him. Everything I looked at made some sort of connection to him.
The Monday after I decided to see my friends. This interaction made my day so much better, and actually made the healing process easier too. I realized how much I cared for them and needed them. And I also realized that besides what my consciousness told me, these people cared about me! I owe a lot to them. So they will never read this, but it's and easy way for me to share their importance to me. And give you all another oneshot to read lol. So I hope you like it! Luv you all and thank you for 10k views!❣️
-Taylor