After having the biggest argument that we could ever have in our whole relationship, she left the house. Never told me where she's going but I know she's gonna be back soon since all her things are here.
Two whole hours and she kept saying the same thing. Three same things.
First that she's not doing this favor to me to get in the clinic, secondly that I'm doing this to get with Kristy and lastly that I'm the one with the phycological problems.
I tried a lot to keep my anger and control and not shout or over do it as I did in the beginning but it wasn't easy with everything that she was doing and saying. Even if she was saying that we could work it out and that she would try to improve, her facial expressions showed me that she was lying about everything.
Of course I lost it a lot of times and end up screaming in her face, even if I didn't want to or even if I felt guilty after everything that I said but it kept going like this.
I should live my life and she has to live hers into that clinic and we can't go through this together. She has to get over it alone. I know that she's not completely crazy. Most of times she understands what she's doing and saying but she still continues and that makes me not to want to see her ever again because she keeps arguing and blaming me when it's all caused because of her.
I don't know if what I'm gonna do now will drive her to react even worse but there is no other way.
I want to get away from her. Yes I want her locked up in that clinic. I want to get away from this shit that we called relationship or love. I need a new start and this can't happen with Johanna and not here.
I need to get away from everything that reminds me what I went through because of a wrong choice that I made in the past. Even if the doctor isn't a real professional and really does everything for money I need to call him now.
Johanna has to leave from here. I'm sure than in less than two hours she's gonna be back so I need to be quick.
I called the doctor that gave me every information that I needed even if he got money from Kristy and then from Johanna so he can tell her what we know. I told him that he has to bring an ambulance with some nurses that are gonna take her there. I would first sign a paper that said that she needs to get in the clinic and pack her things and obviously I told them when exactly they should be here.
When I closed the call with the doctor, even if I'm not sure if this man deserves to be called and work as a doctor but I won't get involved in this now. I went in my room it's only my room now and not our.
I grabbed a big suitcase. I don't feel really good with what I'm doing but there isn't other way. She didn't like the easy one so we're doing the hard way and we're gonna see the results.
I packed as many things that she owns and will need and I placed the things in the living room. Everything that didn't fit I'm gonna send it to her parents even if they're gonna also hate me because I'm gonna send their daughter in a clinic.
I let everything infront of my couch and waited for Johanna to come back.
Today I'm closing a big chapter of my life and soon a better one is gonna start and I'm gonna finally be free to be myself and don't hide my emotions.
As I expected Johanna was back after one hour and half. And the doctor had called me that they are waiting. Of course I had to promise him more money so he wouldn't call Johanna and tell her what I'm planning. This would destroy everything.
"Did you relax?" I asked her when she walked back but even if she seemed still annoyed I dared to ask her.
Before she could notice the suitcases I sent a message in my phone that they should get here
What is gonna happen in a few minutes will really change my whole life and I'm feeling already guilty for what I'm doing but she should go there, she deserves it and she must get well.
"How can I? My boyfriend wants to put me in a psychiatric clinic when I'm fine" she seems more relaxed now but still out of mind. First of all we are not together anymore and she's not fine and we all know this even she can understand it sometimes.
"Not boyfriend anymore and...." The doorbell interrupted us
I got up and went to open it and when I did two men and the doctor appeared infront of me. The time has come.
"What the hell are they doing here?" She looked at me and the doctor in turns and that's when she noticed the suitcases and her things.
She started to shake her head negatively and to shake her hands uncontrollably. I tried to get closer to her and talk so maybe she could stop but she pushed me away so the nurses took part.
They grabbed her arms even if she was almost screaming for them to let her alone. It was painful to see all of this going infront of me
"Let me alone you idiots. I'm fine you should get him not me" she kept moving aggressively so she could escape but they of course were stronger
While they were trying to keep her in place. The doctor gave me the paper that I had to sign.
"Too dangerous for herself but also the people around her. Needs to be inserted into the clinic immediately" I signed under those words and gave the paper to the doctor
I never expected the things to end this way when I got with Johanna. I never thought that I would be signing papers and calling doctor's to get her in a clinic because she's literally crazy and mentally ill.
"You want to get me there so you can get with Kristy you fucking bastard" she was shouting while the men holding her were pushing and making her walk out.
I can understand the way she reacts, everyone wouldn't like to go there even if they need to. But again she keeps refering to Kristy when the woman did nothing wrong.
"Leave me alone I said" she was screaming now and the nurses were trying to get her out of the building faster because all of my neighbors would walk out.
I was walking behind them, carrying her things and the doctor was infront of everyone.
Every second she turned to look back at me with tears in her eyes. The looks that gave which are killing me inside.
"Please Joel please I don't deserve it. I'm absolutely fine. Why don't you want us anymore? Why do you want her? Don't put me in that clinic please" she was calmer than before but her tone was still raised
I didn't say anything but went to put her things were they told me I should place them and walk back there to see her.
"It's for everyone's best. You're gonna get better there and I promise to visit you at least once" I knew that another breakdown was coming after everything that I said
"Don't you dare to come there after what you did Joel" she tried to push me but they were holding her tightly "I don't want to fucking see you ever again. Run to your little bitch now and tell her that your plan worked" once again she was trying to move away
I didn't reply to all the things that she said this time and allowed to the nurses to take her finally in.
"You're gonna regret it one day" she was moving away when they were trying to put her in the ambulance "I won't forget you and what you did Joel" she was shouting and I could sense the anger and pain that her voice was hiding
They finally walked all in and soon started to drive away. I stayed there though till they dissapeared from my sight. So that's it now? She's gone?
I'm finally free again, she's away and can't hurt me anymore. I'm gonna find myself again and enjoy every minute and moment that life will give me. I'm gonna get away from here and every bad memory and have a new beginning.
She's away now and can't hurt me or anyone anymore. Everything is gonna be just fine from now on. I'm gonna work in our music, my band and remember to enjoy every moment with my friends that stayed by my side in this difficult situation that I needed so much help and they agreed to help me because Kristy found a way and where our research should have started.
I should inform everyone about this and I'm sure that Joonas would even throw a party because his friend managed to escape this thing called Johanna as he said. But everything that he's gonna offer for the celebration will be too much. But we're gonna find a way so everyone will be happy.
*Author's note
So she's finally gone.....
Joel is gonna get his life back.
Thank you everyone that votes/comments and reads my story
Much love
Enjoy 🖤