Ch. 13
A series of emotions flickers across her face in a little less than two seconds. First shock, confusion, and then anger. I had known that she would feel these things. But what surprised me most was the sadness, the tenderness in her eyes. Pity for me falling under the Careers' (possible) trap. And, most clearly, betrayal burns in her misty gray eyes. I know why. Me.
I don't think that she knows that I noticed her. Good.
I'm snapped back into reality by Cato. "Go on then, Lover Boy," he sneers icily. "See for yourself."
I can tell that he doubts me, I can hear it in his voice. Usually, he would have been right to doubt me, for I'm not one to kill for sport. But with Katniss's life on the line, I'm willing to do this. Besides, giving this poor, pitiful creature death would be a gift to her at this point, right?
Okay, I can do this. Maybe. No, of course I can't. She's just a little girl! How am I supposed to murder a little girl? I take a deep breath to calm myself. Unwillingly, my mind wanders to the girl's family, as they watch me. Watch me murder their child. They will loathe me with all of their hearts, vow to seek revenge. On her death. Death by me.
I study her features closely as I slowly draw nearer. She has long golden hair that falls long and curly down her neck, bloody from her wound. Small nose. Closed eyes. A moan escapes her thin lips as she cries softly, tears streaming down her cheeks, playing dead to maybe have a chance. I know that this child has no chance anymore. She's a goner. The least that I can do for her is put her out of her misery.
"I'm sorry," I whisper to her sadly.
She finds the strength to shake her head softly. "Don't be," she splutters, whimpering. "Pl-please, just... Just make it quick."
I nod, on the verge of tears. I pull the knife from my belt loop and draw it slowly, and then shoving it with force into her heart. Her eyes bug out of their sockets and I think I see a smile in the edge of her lips. I take a step back, shocked at her happiness, as her blood dribbles down her shirt and onto my shoes.
But I have no time to think. I can't stay stationary for long. I walk back over to the Careers, visibly shaken. They see me coming and quiet their hushed conversation. Probably about killing me, again, or something.
"Was she dead?" Cato asks.
"No," I say, trying to sound bold and heroic. But how heroic is a murderer, watching the bodies of the innocent fall at his feet? "But she is now. Ready to move on?"
The girl's cannon fires, right on cue.
We scramble together our things and move out, just as dawn is breaking across the horizon. As we run back towers the lake, I don't even need to look back to know that Katniss is sitting there, or dangling there, in her tree, gawking at me for killing that little girl. That bold girl, who smiled at death as it welcomed her in. It takes a real warrior to know that death is certainly a gift. I think the girl's name was Starlet, although I'm not sure. Hm. Starlet. Interesting. Well, the name suits her.
We walk in awkward silence for most of the trip back, but maybe it's better that way. Not speaking. I don't want to get too close to anyone, because in the end, they will die, and so will I. I don't want to go through any unnecessary emotions in these games. Too painful. Well, I guess it's too late for Marvel and I to not be friends. We have sort of an unspoken friendship now, I suppose, after our conversation last night. At least I have something in common with one of the Careers; I guess it's alright that I'm not the only odd man out.
It's about midmorning when my stomach is screaming at me for food. Oh. Right. I had forgotten to eat last night. I eagerly reach into the back of my pack for the pack of nuts, and feel around. I can't find it, so I begin to raid it aggressively, my natural instincts for survival taking over. I accidentally jab myself with the pointed end of my knife, and I yelp involuntarily, making Glimmer jump. She may be a Career, but she scares pretty easily at the stupidest things.
She glares at me. "Hush it, Sweet Cheeks. You scared the living daylights out of me!"
Oh, so now I've been upgraded from Lover Boy to Sweet Cheeks? Ugh. Lovely. "It's not my fault if I'm hungry, Smart Alec."
"While we're hungry and complaining about stupid things, and having petty little arguments," says Cato, eying us suspiciously, "we should probably take a rest. We've been walking for hours."
We stop at a nearby tree and I plop down lazily, leaning my back against it. I jerk the pack off my back and rummage through it, in search of the food and water that I so desperately need. I dig up the pack of nuts, and its meager size seems to have magically shrank overnight, it seems so small now that I look at it. I'm disappointed by my lack of food. How stupid of me to only bring one pack of nuts! I'm not Superman, I can't just go off without food in my stomach and still expect myself to function normally. I feel so dumb as I pop the small nuts in my mouth, only ten at the most, while everyone else feasts on apples and other delicious goods.
Oh well. At least I have some water left. I yank out the water bottle from the bag and bring it to my lips thirstily. Only a swallow remains, but it's enough to make me sigh in content as I drink every last drop. Wait... Maybe that wasn't the best idea. I need more water for later, now. And I'm still parched.
"Hey, does anyone have any water?" I ask, looking around at the faces of my allies.
Cato smirks at me before chugging down the rest of his. Perfect. Just peachy. "Nope."
Glimmer and Marvel grab their bottles and shake them, hearing nothing.
"Crap," Glimmer says anxiously. "I'm out."
Turning to Marvel, I bite my lip. He wrinkles his nose in distaste. "So am I. My bottle's as dry as my throat. Man, I'm thirsty."
I take a nervous gulp. "Tell me about it. I would kill for some water." Oops. Wrong metaphor. I wouldn't literally kill for water. But I would kill for Katniss. That's why I already killed two people so far. Two people that have-or should I say had- a family, and friends, and a life, but I killed them. I don't like to think about that, so I shake the thought from my mind.
"We're still too far away from the lake to make it without water," Cato says. "So we'll have to find a source."
"No thanks to you," Glimmer snaps. "You drank the last of it when you were bragging to Lover Boy!"
Cato looks a little uneasy. I guess he isn't used to people standing up to him. "Alright, I get it. I'm to blame for the lack of water. Don't worry, we'll find some before we all drop dead," he says sarcastically, making a face at Glimmer. Talk about immature...
We pack up our things and move out, looking around with a close eye for any nearby source of water. My throat burns uncomfortably with every step I take, and my body aches from the previous day of trekking up and down the arena. We begin walking up a steep hill, for whatever reason. Why would there be a like on top of a hill?
"Why are we going up here?" I ask Marvel as we hike our way up.
"There may not be any water," he huffs, "but we can look around from the top of this hill for signs of water. It will only be worth the walk if we find a pond or a stream or something down below."
After puffing our way up the steep terrain, we look around to see that we had hardly gotten very high at all. Anyways, there isn't any water nearby, from the looks of it.
I sit down on a shelf of rock and look at the view.
"What do we do now?" Everyone looks at Marvel, who is looking at the rest of us with an unreadable expression on his face.
Other than a few Mockingjays in the distance, all is silent for several moments. "Well," Glimmer says. "Should we head back to the lake and hope that we make it?"
I shrug. "I guess we should just try and keep our hopes up. If we move quickly, we just might be able to make it back before the unsettling effects of dehydration starts to kick in."
Cato looks at me like I just spoke in Pig Latin. "It's too far away."
"No, it was too far away when you said that it was too far away, about twenty miles back. Now, we're only a couple of hours away."
Marvel nods, backing me up. "Yeah. I guess you don't have the best judgement. I remember walking past that tree over there-" he points at a tree- "only a couple of hours into the forest."
"Fine," he says arrogantly. "We'll go with your idea. But we'll see who's right when there is no lake."
We slide back down the hill on our backsides, and start walking over towards where I saw the lake. After trudging through the dirt and grime for several hours, I sink to my knees, my legs failing me after shaking so hard for so long. There probably was no lake over here. I was probably just hallucinating or something, one of the unnerving side effects of having no water within what feels like a thousand miles. My skin is dry, and I'm so parched that I would almost be willing to drink blood if offered. I feel like I'm shriveling up into a raisin, and I can't take it anymore. Why would the Gamemakers not have a lake, or a pond or something put near? It's supposed to be the Hunger Games, not the Thirsty Games! And Haymitch, he ought to send me water! He has the power, and surely I have at least several people willing to give a dollar or two.
"Why?" I go on an angry rampage. "I thought that there was the lake over here. And water! All there is is just this stupid, freaking mud!" I bang my fists on the ground angrily. Cato and Glimmer just stare.
Marvel bends down and swirls his fingers through the pasty brown goo. "Wait, if there's mud, then doesn't that mean that there's..."
A thunderbolt cracks loud across the sky, and a tiny drop of water falls onto my nose, Everyone looks at me expectantly as I lick my lips.
"Water," Glimmer whispers.
Suddenly, rain pours down on us by the bucket load, and we're all holding our water bottles to the sky and sticking our tongues out thirstily, trying to catch a raindrop or two. I smile unconsciously, and it's probably the first time I've smiled since the Games began.
We set up something to help us catch more water for the trip back to the lake. Apparently, Cato had some plastic wrap in his pack, so we tied each of the corners onto a branch to resemble a bowl. It fills up with water in minutes and we dunk our heads in it and chug. It's nice to be able to be refreshed again; it feels like I just woke up from a very long and disturbing dream. Only, sadly, it wasn't a dream. And if it was, it would have been a nightmare.
I can't smile very wide, though, because my face aches from yesterday's encounter with Tram. But I can't help it as the little droplets coat my thin, blonde eyelashes with their sparkling crystals. I never imagined, in all of my life, that I would be this happy over having water. Back at home, all the water that I needed was right at my fingertips, in a little pond just a block or two away.
While we're doing our own little happy dance, I turn around to see a very distinct set of green eyes peering over at us from behind a tree, with lots of curiosity. I can practically hear the tribute whisper a simple word into my ear as he smiles his catlike smile, full of lust. As in, bloodlust.