I wake up to rays of the morning sun shining through the blinds on my window. Maggie lightly sores next to me. Falling In Love In A Coffee Shop is stuck in my head, and the butterflies in my stomach are dancing along. Today is the day. Today is the day I've been dreaming about for two and a half years. I can't believe it. Today is my first real date with Hayden Hartford.
If I could tell my eighth-grade self that one day I'd be in this place, I don't know if she would even believe me for a second. Of course, I always dreamt and hoped that one day I would be here, but I'm really not sure if I ever truly believed it would happen. It feels surreal, like a dream that I don't want to wake up from. Praise God for that car wreck.
**
The butterflies stay in my stomach all day. After going to our local diner for breakfast, Mom and I drop Maggie off at her house, then grocery shop. I put away the groceries and clean the kitchen, while Mom does the rest of the house chores. Our house is relatively small, so it doesn't take too much time to clean up. When I'm done, I try to study but I can barely focus on anything. My head is just full of Hayden. Sitting on my bedroom floor with my chemistry notes open, I decide to pause my studying and practice my audition piece for the summer musical. Dancing always helps me shed some anxiety, which is greatly needed today. My audition piece is coming along, too. Nowhere near perfect yet, but it will be. Finally, it's time to shower and start getting ready. I get the outfit we all picked out last night, heat my curling wand, and lay out all my makeup.
"Knock knock," Mom says as she comes into my room. "How are we doing?"
The expression on my face tells her I'm nervous. "Ugh. Fine." She walks up behind me, and we make eye contact in the mirror. She rubs my shoulders and leans her head against mine.
"Sweetie, don't worry." Mom sits on my bed, maintaining eye contact with me. "It'll be fine. You've been dreaming of this for over two years. Be excited! Don't let fear ruin this great moment."
She's right. I know it's normal to be nervous, but I need to choose to be excited instead. Mom and I sing along to Michael Bublé while I get ready. I take my time getting ready, just in case I have an outfit, hair or makeup crisis. You know what they say, slow is smooth, and smooth is fast. I especially apply that to getting ready when I'm stressed. I get dressed, put on a little extra makeup than normal, and curl my long, blonde hair.
"What if he kisses you?" Mom teases. She sits on my bed, brushing Minka while I curl my hair.
"Well... I'd kiss him back! Duh!" I giggle, but totally mean it.
Hayden texted me that he's on the way, so I finish up and grab my purse. I start to panic a little bit, and my stomach is in serious knots. The good kind, but I'm definitely extremely nervous. What if he decides he doesn't like me? What if he thinks I'm weird? What if I get food on my face and I don't know it? Too many things can go wrong. I feel myself start to perspire.
Mom tries to reassure me that things will be fine. "Hey he asked you out, so obviously he's into you. Don't worry, sweetness. Just have fun! You deserve it," Mom says, as she kisses the top of my head. She always knows what to say. I give her a big, bear hug, but it's interrupted by the doorbell ringing.
"Here we go," I say nervously. Mom, Minka and I all rush to the door together. I look at my mom, take a deep breath, and open the door.
And there he is. Hayden Hartford is standing on my front porch, looking more perfect than usual. And he has flowers. He's wearing dark gray skinny jeans. Not the kind that are awkwardly skinny, but more like fitted jeans with a taper at the bottom. He's wearing a long-sleeved black shirt, pushed up to his elbows. His shirt has three little buttons at the top, and the first one is unbuttoned. And of course, he's wearing converse.
"Hi Ms. Williams, these are for you," he gives her a small pink bouquet. Then he looks at me. He flashes his perfect smile at me, and I melt to the floor. "And these are for you." He hands me a small red bouquet. My heart does a cartwheel. Seriously, can he get any more perfect?
"Thank you, Hayden! And you can call me Lacey," Mom winks. "Just have her home by ten. Be safe!" My mom gives Hayden a little side hug, kisses me on the cheek, then Hayden and I walk to his car. I glance back at Mom and she gives me a thumbs up and a big cheesy smile.
Like the gentleman he is, he opens my door, lets me in, and closes the door for me. I notice that his soft smile never fades. Ugh, my heart. How is he so perfect? Like can someone please explain it to me?
He gets inside, hands me his phone and says, "You pick the music."
**
We drive into Atlanta listening to a Spotify playlist I made specifically full of songs that describe how I feel about him. Collide by Howie Day, Falling In Love in a Coffee Shop by Landon Pigg, A Thousand Years by Christina Perri, you get it.
The sun is starting to set and the sky is a beautiful canvas full of pinks, oranges, and yellows. Sitting here next to Hayden, singing some of my favorite love songs with him, driving into the sunset, I've never felt so alive.
On the way to dinner, he tells me that he got promoted to manager at the grocery store. He's super excited about it, not only because he has more control over his work schedule, but because it will look great on his resume. He wants to study business in college, and his dream is to be a CEO of a company one day. And I can totally see it. The mysterious, handsome, successful businessman. My dream guy.
We eat dinner at a local Italian restaurant. The lights are dim, and romantic lamps and light fixtures really set the mood. The inside of the restaurant is relatively small and intimate. The brick accent wall and plants really give it a homey feeling. And to my surprise, the setting eases my nerves a little.
Walking to our table, I feel Hayden lightly place his hand in the middle of my back. I inhale quickly and sharply at his touch, and it takes everything in me to remain calm. We take our seat, and I notice the lovely Italian music playing in the background. Trying to seem cool and confident, I glance up at him. Hayden Hartford is staring right at me. And he doesn't take his eyes off me the whole dinner. The knots in my stomach reappear tighter this time, which makes it pretty hard to eat. But I try to get down some spaghetti and meatballs, and daintily sip my water. Despite how nervous I feel, there's a sense of comfort and peace when I'm with him. I know he wants to know the real me. I know I shouldn't be nervous. I know he wants me to feel comfortable with him. And yet, the knots are still there. I guess I'm just nervous about messing all of this up.
I try to keep my cool and stay focused on our conversation. We talk more about dance for a while. I tell him how I started Ballet when I was three years old and have been dancing ever since, and about my favorite recitals I had growing up. I tell him how Mom lets me help her choreograph our routines for football and competition season, and how that's one of my favorite things we do together. Then I explain how I've done multiple summer productions with a musical theater company in the city. I've always just been an extra, or a dancer in a group, but this year I'm auditioning for one of the lead dancers. I give him details on my training with Elise and what my audition piece is like. And of course, he's a perfect listener.
"I'm really excited, but nervous. I mean, there's lots of great dancers that work in the company so it's not guaranteed," I admit.
"Bridgette don't be nervous. Seriously. You dance beautifully. I don't think you have anything to worry about." Hayden Hartford just used my name and the word 'beautifully' in the same sentence. Someone kill me.
He kindly pays for dinner, then we drive down the street to the movie theater. There's not very many exciting options available, but to be honest, I couldn't care less what we watched. I just want to be here with him. We settle on seeing a new romantic comedy, then walk into the large, very nice movie theater. Hayden gets us candy for the movie, then we take a restroom break before.
I walk into the bathroom and can finally breathe. I close my eyes, take three slow, deep breaths, and stare at myself in the mirror. No food on my face, so that's a good sign.
"Breathe, Bri. It's going well. Relax," I whisper to myself in the mirror.
Once I gather myself and touch up my lip-gloss, we find our movie screen. We take our seats and the movie starts, but I can't focus on what we're watching. I just keep noticing how close he is to me. And how good he smells. Why does he have to smell so freaking good?
And suddenly, he gently puts his arm around me, and I completely melt at his touch.
**
On the way home, I played the same love song playlist and we keep talking the whole drive home.
"And your friend, that I always see you with. What's her name?" He asks.
"Oh Maggie. Yeah she's the best." I proceed to tell him all about how Maggie and I met. I even find myself opening up about Maggie's tough relationship with her mom, and how I feel terrible for her.
We talk for a little while longer, then sit in silence just listening to music together. While we are listening to Bloom by the Paper Kites, he surprises me by reaching over and grabbing my hand gently. He intertwines his fingers with mine and the feel of his smooth, warm skin washes over me. I blush, glance up innocently at him, and he flashes me the smile that sets my heart on fire. Right now, holding hands with Hayden Hartford in his car, coming back from our first date, I couldn't be happier.
We pull into my driveway a few minutes before ten. Hayden gets out of the car to open my door and offers his hand to help me out. We stand by his car, facing each other, and he grabs both of my hands. "I had a great time with you tonight," he says softly. He gently rubs his thumbs over the tops of mine.
I blush, glance down at our hands holding, then back at his baby blue eyes. I bite my bottom lip out of nervousness. "Me too. Thank you so much. It was perfect. You're perfect."
He smiles. "Bridgette?" He locks eye contact with me, and I feel like I'm sinking into the blue ocean of his eyes.
"Yes?" The knots in my stomach return.
"This may seem... silly. But I have to tell you. I really like you. Like... a lot." I can't help but to giggle at hearing those words roll off his pink lips. He giggles in response to mine. "I know we haven't really known each other very long, but I feel like we have. And I really feel a connection with you." He takes a deep breath, and for a moment, I swear he looks really nervous. A look I've never seen on Mr. Confident before. "And I want you to be my girlfriend... if you'd like."
I'm pretty sure my mouth fell open at the word "girlfriend." I pull all my strength together to keep from screaming and I calmly say, "I feel the same. And I would really love that, Hayden."
He smiles, but this time it's different. It's not his cool, collected, sexy smile. It's a big, goofy and genuinely happy smile. Then he pulls me close to him and wraps his big arms around my small body and holds me in the sweetest embrace of my life. Standing here, holding Hayden, everything is okay. Pressed against his strong body, listening to his heartbeat, I finally relax. I feel so safe and secure in his arms. My world is perfect. And I never want to let him go.
**
I dream of Hayden all night, and he is the first thing on my mind when I wake. The air is sweeter this morning. I take a deep breath in, and exhale slowly. I can still feel his touch on my skin, and I can still smell him. My cheeks ache from smiling so much, but I can't stop. I look at my hands and rub them together, thinking of the feeling of Hayden's wrapped up with mine.
I texted Maggie last night to tell her the news and woke up to a text saying "YASS MRS. BRIDGETTE HARTFORD. I hear wedding bells!!"
I tell Mom every detail of our date on the way to school, and she's just as giddy as I am. We sing Michael Bublé loudly and celebrate me officially being Hayden Hartford's girlfriend.
Mom interrupts our song, "Hon. Do you realize that you are dating THE most attractive guy at school?"
And I actually hadn't thought of that. I hadn't given much thought to what everyone else at school would think. Or if they would even care.
**
When we get to Mom's classroom, Hayden is already there, waiting for me. He's standing in front of the door with two coffees.
"Good morning," he says as he hands us each a coffee.
"Hayden! You are too kind. Thank you, sweetheart," my mom says as she gives him a hug. "And congratulations, by the way," She says with a wink, and my face instantly goes beet red. Mom walks into her room and starts getting ready, while Hayden and I stand in the doorway.
"Hi girlfriend," he says with an adorable little smirk. "Would you like to go sit outside?" I nod and he locks his hand with mine, and leads me out the door. We walk outside to the school courtyard and sit on a bench together. There's a nice breeze outside and the birds are singing their morning song, almost as if it's for us. We're sitting practically as close as we possibly can. I sip my coffee and we talk about school.
"So. My mom is insanely happy we're dating," he tells me. "Apparently, she's been secretly hoping we'd get together for a while now." He laughs and playfully rolls his eyes. I awkwardly chuckle and sip my coffee. Me and her both.
We sit for a moment just looking and smiling at each other, but we're interrupted by the bell ringing. Hayden keeps his eyes on me, and suddenly kisses my cheek. His pink lips are soft and warm against my cool skin. I feel my whole body go hot and tingly. And by the expression on my face, I think he could tell. I giggle.
He smiles and chuckles at me. "Let me walk you to class."
**
Hand in hand, he walks me to class. And I swear, you'd think I had tattooed my entire face or something. Everyone, and I do mean everyone, is staring at us. I feel like we're floating down the hallways in slow motion. Every face and expression I see feels like an eternity. My stomach starts to ache, but I glance up at Hayden and he was looking straight ahead and smiling. And this time it's his sexy, confident smile. Then it hit me. He wants people to see. He's proud. He's confident. Because of me. And realizing that gives me all the confidence in the world to walk through our halls, with the entire student body looking at us. I stand up a little taller, take it all in, and a smile gleams across my face.
**
After school, I walk Hayden out to his car. "I mean really, I don't think I've ever had that many people looking at me at one time," he admits. We talk and make fun of the shock the student body experienced. It feels good to laugh with him. It feels like we're a real team. It's us against the world, and I've never been happier.
We stand by his car talking, then suddenly, he wraps me up in a big, warm bear hug. The side of my face is pressed up against his chest, and I feel so safe and comfortable. I could stay here forever. Even as we're squeezing our bodies together, it's not close enough. I just want to curl up in his chest and never leave.
But he pulls back and looks at me. He stares at me with those innocent, glistening blue eyes. He sees me. He really sees me when he looks at me. He gently touches my face and brushes a strand of hair away from my eye. I'm completely mesmerized by his touch and his movement.
He lifts both of his hands, and places them right where my jaw and neck meet. His big, strong hands make me feel so delicate and small. And slowly, the distance between our faces closes.
My eyes close as I feel the most world changing feeling against my lips. The gentleness and softness sends me up to the clouds and stops the world around me. And I love that it's not a lustful kiss. It's soft and gentle, like he wants me to feel taken care of. To my dismay, he pulls away, and I slowly open my eyes. He's looking at me with the sweetest expression. It's a look I haven't seen from him before. I can't put my finger on it. His face is telling me something, but I'm not sure what it is yet.
But he breaks into a soft smile, which makes me giggle and blush. "Goodbye, girlfriend," he says, then gently kisses the top of my head. I try to move, but I can't. I'm glued to this spot forever. The spot where everything changed. The spot where I really fell in love.