𝑶𝒄𝒆𝒂𝒏 𝑬𝒚𝒆𝒔

𝐂𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝐓𝐰𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐲-𝐅𝐢𝐯𝐞 |𝟐𝟓|

"𝐇𝐨𝐥𝐲 𝐟𝐮𝐜𝐤, 𝐈 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐤 𝐚𝐛𝐨𝐮𝐭 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐚 𝐥𝐨𝐭."
• • •

𝐂𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝐓𝐰𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐲-𝐅𝐢𝐯𝐞

I wake up from the best sleep I've had in forever and I have no fucking idea where I am.

All I know is that it’s way too hot and the bed I’m sleeping on is uncomfortable as hell. But even though this mattress is probably going to kill my back, I've never been more comfortable in my life.

There's a weight settled right up against me. A soft warmth curling around my entire body. Gentle, cool breaths caress my bare chest and there's this heavenly scent clouding up my senses.

I peel my sleep-heavy eyelids open and I'm blinded for a second. Jeez, why the fuck is it so fucking bright in here.

I blink a couple of times, my eyes finally adjusting to the brightness of the room. Glancing around the unfamiliar place, I finally look down to see the cause of that intoxicating smell and warmth.

Derya is asleep against me, her arm wrapped all the way around my back.

Oh, fuck, my back. I grow panicked for a moment but it disappears a second later. She's fast asleep, completely dead to the world and oblivious to everything around her.

Her cheek is pressed against my chest, causing those sleep-swollen lips to form into an adorable pout. I stiffen, inhaling sharply whilst tightening my arm when she suddenly turns her head, her lips brushing against my skin as she tucks her head between my shoulder and the bed.

A second later she turns her head back, those soft lips touching my chest again. I take a deep breath and tighten my grip on her.

She holds on too, her arm tightening around my back, her fingers splayed out across the marred skin.

God, I wish I could stay here forever. It feels like heaven. She feels like heaven. How did I end up here anyway?

And then everything from last night came crashing back, knocking into me like a goddamn bus. I suddenly become aware of the aching in my bones and the burning in my side.

I let out a heavy sigh, and sink further into the bed, into Derya, burying my face into her neck. Her scent is so much stronger here. Like a goddamn ocean.

I need to get up, I know. I've got to go home, sort myself out and shower and then I've got to come back here to pick up Derya for school.

I search around for her phone and find it resting on the bed, charging. I lean over her slightly to check the time.

6:30

Ah, fuck I have to go now. But I don't want to. I've never been so comfortable, never slept so good in a long fucking time.

Maybe it's the blood loss or maybe it's the warm body pressed up against mine that chased away the nightmares, that silenced the noise in my head.

In slow, painful movements, I reluctantly untangle myself from her firm hold and roll over to the edge of the bed.

My body aches like I've been run over by a truck and my side burns like hell. It takes me a while to get off the bed and after searching around for my shirt, I find it tattered, stained and lying haphazardly on Derya's bedroom floor.

I remember getting up last night, trying to understand what the fuck was happening and nearly tramped her sleeping body.

I remember shedding that shirt and then going to pick her up. I remember her being ice cold and holding on to me so damn tight.

I sigh heavily, already wanting to get back in bed with her, to hold her close and fall asleep with her wrapped up in my arms again.

But I stand up instead, and head over to her dresser in hopes of finding something big enough for me to wear. My shirt is torn and stained with blood and wearing that outside isn't such a good idea. Derya's hoodies look large enough to fit me, but when I open the cupboard door, I find barely anything.

For a girl who only wears hoodies, she doesn't have many. Maybe they're getting washed? Because there isn't a single hoodie in there. I know I have one of hers - the dark blue one. It's lying on the back of my desk chair at my place and even after being washed, it still smells like her and there's no way I'm giving it back now.

So, where're the rest of them?

I shut the door, standing in the middle of her room wondering what the fuck I'm going to do now. My gaze automatically falls to Derya who is still curled up in her bed and now holding on to a pillow. Fuck, that would have been me. I've never wanted to be a pillow more than I do right now.

A shiny black material catches my eye. My leather jacket and beanie lie neatly on the loveseat in front of her bed. As much as I hate to take my jacket away from her - since that's what she wears everyday - I have no other choice but to wear it. I'll give it back when I pick her up for school.

Slipping the beanie on, I settle on the edge of her bed to lace up my boots. A harsh thump against my back catches me by surprise. Derya turns over, facing me, her knees pressed into my back and her hand brushing my leg.

I turn slightly to look at her. She looks so warm and cosy and I want nothing more than to slip back into bed and fall asleep with her wrapped up in my arms. Instead, I unlock her phone and add my number to her contacts.

Grabbing my tattered shirt off the floor, I scrunch it into a ball and escape through the window once again. Head down, I limp to my car as fast as I can.

❦︎

I walk into an empty apartment. It's cold inside just as it is outside. It's only the beginning of Autumn and everything is fucking freezing.

Everything is cold and the floor-to-ceiling windows make the space too bright for my liking. I love this place. It's something I get to call my own. To everyone else it might seem like some fancy-ass penthouse but it's really not. The only thing that makes it a lot fancier than it is, is the gigantic windows - which I think are completely unnecessary.

In my room, I close the curtain because it's too fucking bright and it's making my head ache. And then it's the same routine I follow every morning; slip off my rings, put them on the dresser. Shoes set neatly by the door. Leather jacket and beanie on the end of the bed.

Slipping into the bathroom, I stand in front of the mirror and finally assess the damage done to me. My face is littered with small cuts. A bruise darkens the skin of my cheekbone and my bottom lip is swollen and sore.

I wince at the burning pain as I begin to unwrap the bandage from my torse. My eyebrows rise in surprise. She wrapped it around me perfectly - not too loose, not too tight. Better than Gabriel could ever do. I wonder how she knows how to wrap so well. Some people have the knack for these sorts of things, maybe Derya does too.

Before I can think more about it, I hop into the shower. I'm already running late and I have to pick up Derya in a couple minutes. The gash in my side is a hell of a lot worse than it looks and it burns like hell in the water. The pain doesn't phase me though. My body is covered in things way worse than a single scrape of a knife.

Couple minutes later, I'm bandaged and changed, my rings and boots back on. As I grab the leather jacket and beanie for Derya, I stop in front of my wardrobe. Inside is full of hoodies that I don't wear often. She needs some. Do I take it for her? Must I take it for her? I should take it for her.

I make an annoyed sound in the back of my throat. What the fuck is happening to me?

I love this apartment. Main bedroom, two guest rooms, and a balcony that overlooks the entire city. I stop in front of one of the guest rooms now.

I rub my hands over the jacket. I love my leather jacket but I've given it to Derya and it's hers now. I do have another one. But…

I squeeze my fingers into a fist hard enough that I can feel my nails bite into my skin, trying to keep my mind from going to unwanted places.

Ignoring all the warning signs in my brain, I unlock the door. Head down, I walk straight in the direction I need to go in, and yank open the cupboard door. Years of it being untouched causes the hinges to creak noisily.

I stare into the cupboard in front of me, my eyes glued to the leather jacket. Hesitantly, I slide it off the hanger, slip it over my shoulders. The material is thick, cold and stiff but it's still in good condition. I close my eyes, take a deep breath.

It still smells like him… Maybe this isn't such a good idea.

But it's too late now. If I waste anymore time I'll be late for Derya. I rush out of the room, lock it and leave before I can have anymore second thoughts.

❦︎

I arrive just in time for Ocean. Before I can even knock in the door, it's being flung open and a small, Ocean-sized form is smacking into my chest. She bounces back, slightly, from the impact and takes a couple steps back. Looking up at me, she gives me a sheepish smile as her cheeks colour with embarrassment.

I allow myself to check her out for a second. Just a second. She's got her usual black jeans on and those ratty old Converse and, of course, a hoodie. A hoodie that is definitely not hers.

Ah, fuck, something just has to spoil my damn morning. A little black drop of anger appears in my veins and threatens to take over but I refrain as much as I can.

Slowly, gently, in a way that's clearly showing I'm trying to hold in my anger, I slide my hand along her hip and bunch the thin material of the hoodie in my fist.

"Is this Aiden's?" I manage to grit out.

All past embarrassment gone, Derya gives me a nervous nod.

I grit my teeth, clench my jaw before pulling her bag from her hands. "Lift your arms," I order.

She raises a single eyebrow at my tone but does what I ask anyway. I yank the hoodie over her head, and grip it in my hands. Do I toss it back into the house? Or should I take it home and burn it?

I opt for the latter option.

I toss his jacket over my shoulder, close the front door and as soon as Derya finishes locking it, I grab her hand and drag her to my car. After yanking open the door, I toss that motherfucker's piece of junk in the back, set Derya's bag down on my seat and grab her stuff from the passenger side whilst muttering - probably to myself - about why she had to wear his stuff.

When I finally turn back to Derya, she is standing as close to me as she can, arms wrapped around herself. Goosebumps pimple across the skin of her arms and shivers in the cold, early morning air. The physical sight of her freezing her ass off dampens my anger.

Fuck, now I feel terrible. Knowing she's always cold, I should have used my head instead of letting my anger get the better of me.

"You could have just waited 2 minutes for me to pick you up and then you could've worn this. 2 minutes." I hurry to throw my jacket over her shoulders. She rolls her eyes at me as slides her arms in immediately and sticks her hands in the pockets whilst I zip it closed.

Derya closes her eyes, ducks her head into the high collar of my jacket and slowly blinks up at me, a small smile on her face.

Her eyes fall to my chest and her face lightens in surprise.

"You got one too!" She signs. And then she slides one hand over my forearm and rests it over my bicep. She's practically buzzing with excitement when it clicks in my brain that she's talking about the jacket I'm wearing.

I nod as I set the beanie on her head. I make sure everything's okay, pulling her hair out from inside her jacket and letting those beautiful curls fall loosely over her shoulders.

Derya squeezes my arm, then looks up at me with this gorgeous, radiant smile that makes her eyes close slightly and makes me completely mesmerized.

Unable to help myself, I slide one hand across her cheek, cupping it before bending slightly and pressing my lips to the other. She freezes up in front of me, her hand tightening on my bicep and a sharp exhale escaping her lips.

I linger there for a second, enjoying the way her cold cheek turns hot in seconds. I can feel it against my lips.

I pull away just in time to see her reddened cheeks and shy smile before she ducks her head behind the collar again.

Abruptly, she turns around and practically runs to the passenger side of the car, stumbling a little along the way.

Fuck me, she's adorable.

❦︎

<3

Oh yeah I forgot to tell you guys. I made changes to some earlier chapters. So go check them out!

Chapter  2, 6, 11, 16, 18 and I think I feel more I'm not sure but check it out !