Wanting What I Shouldn't

By Book_obsessed_weirdo

1.2M 18.9K 13.3K

Amara Brady, the schools nerd, her name unknown to any normal persons ears. Straight A's and perfect homework... More

The Main Characters
Chapter 1
Chapter 2
Chapter 3
Chapter 4
Chapter 5
Chapter 6
Chapter 7
Chapter 8
Chapter 9
Chapter 10
Chapter 11
Chapter 12
Chapter 13
Chapter 14
Chapter 15
Chapter 16
Chapter 17
Chapter 18
Chapter 19
Chapter 20
Chapter 21
Chapter 22
Chapter 23
Chapter 24
Chapter 25
Chapter 26
Chapter 27
Chapter 28
Chapter 29
Chapter 30
Chapter 31
Chapter 32
Chapter 33
Chapter 34
Chapter 35
Chapter 36
Chapter 37
Chapter 38
Chapter 39
Chapter 40
Chapter 41
Chapter 42
Chapter 43
Chapter 44
Chapter 46
Chapter 47
Wedding Theme
Chapter 48
Chapter 49
Chapter 50
Chapter 51
Chapter 52
Chapter 53
Chapter 54
Chapter 55
Chapter 56 (Bonus Chapter)
Chapter 57 (Bonus Chapter)
Epilogue

Chapter 45

12K 160 28
By Book_obsessed_weirdo

The sun shines down on the white tile of the pool, the water splashing over the sides as the boys wrestle around in the pool. The trees rustling with a tiny gust of wind. It's these warm days in September that I try to soak in, before it gets too cold. The days when the suns out, the dogs are playing in the back yard, the clear water of the pool glittering with every ripple. Everyone's hanging out and laughing, drinking and having a great time.

"Do you have any idea of what type of wedding dress you want to get?" Moren asks, nudging me softly with her shoulder. Ever since they figured out Kingston proposed, they've been asking me about the wedding. And I wouldn't have it any other way. It was hard not calling the girls in a Group FaceTime call and start planning my wedding with them.

It's crazy to believe that I used to think love was just a word.

Believe it bitch.

I nod my head, taking a sip of my Busch Light. Kingston leaps up and tackles Mason under the water with a large splash, wrestling with each other with large grins and throwing each other around like dolls. James leaps at Julius, pulling each other under the water trying to be like the older boys. They really like to rough play.

Water sprays up from the pool, landing on my warm skin, dampening the black bikini bottom I have on.

We've been back at the house for about an hour now and it's been amazing. Mr and Mrs. Grey have been hanging out and having some wine and beer, Summer and Liam have been...talking? No. Flirting.

Definitely flirting.

She's sitting over by Liam, her legs in the water, sitting on the side of the pool in a baby blue bikini that's been making Liam give her heart eyes as he talks with her, giving her sips of his bourbon when she asks. Her blonde hair is pulled up in one of those large brown clips, some random strands of her hair blowing gently in the almost nonexistent wind. Expensive Oakley sunglasses shade her sensitive blue eyes from the sun as she smiles and laughs with Liam. He's leaning by her legs, chatting with her like she's the only important thing in the entire world.

   He looks at her the way I now know is the way Kingston looks at me.

   I wonder why they don't go out?

Mason and Kingston have been wrestling around in the pool, splashing anyone in their path, the swim trunks slipping down to reveal Kingston's v-line some times. My eyes always seem to stray down to the mouth-watering sight but Moren or Ashlyn always wack me out of my stare. Dawson's been talking with Mark about business and other random stuff, his hair a little damp as he rests his arms on the sides of the pool, a glass of bourbon in one hand the other just randomly moving as he talks. Mark's in his swim trunks that match with Ashlyn's bikini, chatting and laughing with Dawson. The girls and I have been discussing the upcoming wedding. What venue we should go for, what colors, the people we should invite.

I can't wait to be Kingston's wife!

Moren's been talking about dresses while Ashlyn's been been asking me about location and colors.

   Moren's on my left, Ashlyn on my right.

"Yeah. I actually kinda decided I want to get two dresses, one for the ceremony and one for the reception." Moren squeals excitedly and Kingston pops up from the water, breathing heavily.

   His hair sticks to his forehead, his gray eyes bright and happy, his muscles rippling with each stroke against the water. His defined abs have water droplets trailing down, his biceps flexing as his arm raises and drags through his wet hair. His black swim trunks hang low on his hips, his v-line once more evident to my eyes.

   Moren leans back on her manicured hand, the nails painted a bright sunny yellow color, the yellow bikini she's wearing complimenting her darker skin tone beautifully and matching her nails and toes. Her curly hair tied up in a messy ponytail, her round gold sunglasses sitting perfectly on the bridge of her nose. She raises the can of beer to her lips and takes a swig of the alcohol. She smiles, her manicured toes in the water as she basks in the sun.

   Ashlyn scoots away from my soaking fiancé, her bikini a beautiful green that matches her eyes and Mark's trunks, her short brown hair dusting her shoulders with a pair of sunglasses sitting atop her head. She has some acrylics on, French tip I think? Just a white line across the top of the acrylics, her toes a glossy white. Her lighter skin seems to be getting darker the more we sit in the sun.

He grins at me, his damp black hair falling back over his head, sticking to his forehead, water droplets trailing down his well defined muscles. The sun has been tanning his skin, his gray eyes swirling happily. Water splashes over me as he swims over to me, leaning on the edge of the pool with his arms crossed.

"Hey baby," I smile, leaning down and kissing his wet lips. I pull back but Kingston takes a damp hand and grabs the back of my neck softly and brings my lips back to his.

He pecks my lips once more before gently pulling back and flashing me a smile "Hey mi amor, what are you talking about?" He asks, leaning his chin on my closed knees. Water drips from his pitch black hair onto my thighs, the cold water cooling my hot skin.

Moren shoves at Kingston's shoulder "You're getting us wet!" She whines but then answers his question anyways, "Amara just told us she wants two dresses.", Kingston smirks, looking up at me.

"That okay with you?", he nods his head, grinning as he pulls back and shakes his head like a dog, water spraying all over me and the girls.

   A laugh leaves out of me, closing my eyes to shield them from the cold water spraying everywhere. Once the water stops flying everywhere I rub the water off my face with my free hand before opening my eyes again.

"Hey!" Moren squeals, jumping up with her beer and scowling at him. She snaps a few things at him in Portuguese while Ashlyn slaps his shoulder playfully.

Ashlyn laughs and slips into the pool, swimming over to Mark and giving him a kiss before treading water next to him. Kingston chuckles, sticking his tongue out at Moren as she curses at him before walking away from the pool before sending me a smile. She plops herself down on a sunbathing chair and sets her beer down on the concrete patio, leaning back and sighing, flicking Kingston off before putting her sunglasses on.

   Kingston pushes up on his hands, his face coming level with mine "Come swim with me love," Kingston insists and I shake my head "Nah, I'm good," he sighs, looking back at his brothers.

   "Aw c'mon, swim with your poor fiancé," Dawson drawls with a smirk turning away from Mark and Ashlyn, sipping some bourbon in a clear glass. Mason swims to the edge of the pool next to me and takes my beer, taking a swig from it "Hey!" I scold him and he shrugs with a smirk "Thanks for the beer sis."

   Kingston scowls at Mason before turning back to me and smiling "I have some bourbon we can share if you get in with me?" He tries to bribe me.

   Mason sets the can of beer down on the concrete and plants his hands on the hot ground, pushing off and sitting down next to me. Water drips off Mason, soaking the gray concrete beneath him, the concrete turning a darker gray.

   It reminds me of Kingston's eyes...the way the water flows over the light gray to turn it darker.

   Beautiful. Beautiful gray eyes.

   I turn back to Kingston, flicking Mason the finger for taking my beer.

   Bourbon and swimming with my half naked fiancé does sound delicious.

   Just to tease him I shrug my shoulders "Maybe," Mason rolls his eyes with a groan, planting his cold hand on my back and giving me a shove "Just get in!"

   A squeal leaves me as I fall into the cold water and straight into Kingston's arms. My head goes under the water, the cold water making it's way up my nose.

   I quickly push up, grabbing onto Kingston's shoulders and pulling my head above the water, my lungs burning as I gasp and cough for air.

   Kingston wraps his arms around me, drawing me tightly into his wet hard chest, growling at Mason. Mason shrugs his shoulders "You're welcome." He states and then stands up, walking away from the pool.

   Kingston looks back at me "Are you okay my love?" His eyes scan my face, a large hand coming up out of the water and cupping my cheek softly.

   I nod my head, coughing a little more before looking up at him, with a smile "Yeah, I'm good. Now...how about the bourbon?" He chuckles, bending down and kissing me softly.

   Where did my sunglasses go?

   Quickly my eyes look around me, letting out a sigh of relief to see them sitting on the concrete unscratched.

Kingston kisses my forehead softly "Come on mi amor, let's go get some bourbon," he whispers, kissing my cheek and holding me close as he walks through the clear water towards his glass of bourbon.

Kingston rests against the tile of the pool, picking up his glass of bourbon and take a drink. I smile, the clink of his ring against the glass, then smile wider as Mrs. Grey makes her way over to me and sits down, her toes dipping into the water.

   "So," Mrs. Grey shuffles next to me, dropping her thin white cover up across the concrete to allow the sun to touch her skin. She has a beautiful emerald green swimsuit on and sunglasses over her eyes, her black hair pulled up in a clip like Summer's, and her nails and toes done as well. "When's the wedding going to be?" She asks, taking a sip of wine form her fancy wine glass.

Kingston shrugs as he hands me his glass of bourbon, resting his arms on the pool deck "As soon as I can make it. How long does it normally take to buy wedding dresses and get them detailed?" My cheeks flush at his question. My ring clinks on the glass, making Kingston smile brighter.

He wants to get married as soon as possible. And I do to. It's all I've been able to think about.

   Walking down the aisle to Kingston, him in a fresh suit and tie, staring at me with so much love I'll want to run into his arms, kiss him, cuddle him, but force myself to walk slowly down the aisle.

Mrs. Grey beams "About 6 months ish, depends." Kingston sighs, pulling me into his chest and resting his chin on my head as I take a swig of bourbon. The liquid burns my throat as I swallow it down, the delicious taste lingering, my body melting into Kingston's hold.

"What do you want to do baby?" He asks, glancing down at me before taking the glass from my hand and taking a drink of the bronze liquid himself.

I shrug my shoulders at him, the sun beating down on my dripping skin "I don't know,"

"I want you to have your dream wedding. How long do you think that'll take to put together?" He asks, playing with the straps of my black bikini.

My brains starts to work overload to try and decide how long that might take.

I don't know the location I want yet. I don't have colors picked out. I don't have a guest list or even guest invites sent out. I don't have my dress idea. I don't have our honeymoon vacation planed out.

My chest heaves with a sigh and Kingston kisses my cheeks softly, "About a year, from what I'm guessing," I speak, upset about the long time range.

"Better get started then, my love." He whispers in my ear, the sun dances across my skin, water droplets rolling down the soft skin. The water ripples with the quiet gust of wind, birds chirping and dogs sunbathing.

He's right. I have to start planning with him.

~~~~

"Why is planning a wedding so hard!?" I complain, groaning as I fall back onto the couch. Kingston chuckles, sitting next to me and throwing his arm around my shoulders, resting his head on my shoulder as he gazes at the laptop set out in front of me on a random side table I pulled over.

"You just started a few hours ago my love, what's wrong?"

I toss my hands up "I don't know what colors to do! And where we should have it. I don't want you to be disappointed," my eyes flicker over to him to see his already on me. "What colors do you want? Is there anything specific you want at the wedding?" I ask, picking at my nails absentmindedly.

   He just smiles at me, with that smile that makes all my worries fade for a few minutes and allow a calmness to wash over my body. Just his smile alone can do that to me.

   "I want you there. That's all I want." He states, tipping his head back and up ever so slightly and kissing my cheek softly "And some bourbon," he whispers softly, kissing his name behind my ear earning a giggle from me.

   I sigh and fall down into his lap, my head resting on his thighs. His fingers drag through my hair and my eyes fall shut, a satisfied hum leaving me.

   "What do you think about red and white? For the colors I mean," I ask him, curling my legs up as he plays with my hair softly, his right hand splayed across my ass.

   He gently twirls a piece of my hair between his fingers "I think that would be beautiful love, what about on the beach?" He murmurs softly.

   Roxy and Rogue walk over and jump up onto the couch, flopping down onto the cushions with a loud huff.

   The poor dogs are probably exhausted from all the playing they did today.

   A smile plays at my lips "Yeah. I have an idea for our honeymoon," I whisper back and Kingston hmmms in response, rubbing his hand softly on my ass, probably admiring the tattooed handprint there.

   My eyes open and I glance up at Kingston. His eyes are soft, his face relaxed as he plays with my hair and touches me softly. Not a single care in the world right now is bothering him. He's just here, with me.

   I shift on his lap, looking up at him as he draws his fingers through my hair, circling his arm around my hips to hold me close. He flashes his beautiful gray eyes down to me, a tired smile playing at his lips "And what is it that you have in mind, mi amor?"

   Butterflies flutter through my gut, tingles and warmth spreading through me with each touch "What about the Maldives?"

   He bends down to my level, kissing my lips softly, "It's not exactly a beach, more of a lagoon I guess? But its really pretty and out on the water with no one around. I think it would be an amazing place to just hang around in bed all day, and—"

   "And fuck the living shit out of you." He finishes, cutting me off. Heat creeps its way to my face, my heart skipping at his words.

   He chuckles at the look on my face, "Don't worry love, we'll cuddle and swim and eat out and watch the sunrises and sunsets as much as you want. As long as I get at least an hour a day to fuck you."

That's a pretty good fucking bargain to me.

   My lips pull up into another smile "Well of course, my husband must show me how much he loves me every day," I tease, tapping his bare chest with my fingers softly.

   He flashes me a smirk before looking at my laptop and scrolling through some ideas I've found.

   The family left about 4 hours ago. It's almost 11 pm at night and I'm exhausted. Kingston's exhausted. And even the dogs are exhausted. But sometimes it's the simple moments with the four of us that make me love Kingston even more.

   Just him giving me a long hug and kiss on the head after dinner. Holding me close while we watch TV together to settle down and get ready to fall asleep. Playing with my hair. Cuddling up to me for head scratches. And he gives me those little moments that mean so much to me every day. Showing me constantly that I'm loved by him.

   He took a shower with me after everyone left, helping me slowly untangle my hair and washing it before I did the same for him, enjoying every little touch and moment. Then afterwards he dried me off, gave me a pair of panties, booty shorts and a sports bra. And I dried him off, giving him his boxers and sweatpants before we tiredly made our way downstairs.

   Kingston made a few phone calls to work and I started to look at venues, dresses, colors, decorations, etc.

   And goddamn my head hurts.

   There's so many choices.

    How am I supposed to have my dream wedding when I don't even know what my dream wedding is?

    But I do want two dresses.

   I want a ballgown for the ceremony and a mermaid for the reception. I talked with Kingston to make sure he was extra okay with me and gave me the 'Get whatever you want, I don't care, I love you, go be happy' look and reminded me that he's a billionaire and wants to see me in whatever dress makes me feel pretty like a princess and sexy.

   God this man.

   "We can definitely do that. I'll call ahead and make sure to book the room, how long do you want to stay mi amor?" He asks, his fingers splaying across my collar bone while his other hand rubs my hip lovingly.

   I shrug my shoulders again and he chuckles softly, his black hair messy and gray eyes hazy with tiredness. "A week? I know you have business and can't spend that much time away but a week sounds okay to me." I try to state but it comes out sounding like a question.

   I always do that. Second guess myself and make myself explain why I chose what I did.

   He nods his head, his lips touching mine softly "A week it is. Done. No questions asked. I won't even answer a single work call while we're gone." He vows, giving me his word. I smile at him, tucking my body closer to his warm one. He's always so fucking warm. I'm jealous. Does he ever get cold?

   I don't think so.

   He's my heater.

   I can just curl up to him like a kitten, probably purring as he heats my body with his body heat. I snuggle closer to him and he smiles softly "What type of dresses are you getting?", he scratches my scalp softly as a hum vibrates from my throat.

"I can't tell you," I murmur, closing my eyes with a tired sigh "That'll ruin the surprise,"

He sighs heavily, probably giving me sad eyes but I keep my eyes closed, enjoying the warm comfort.

The sound of our breathing and the dogs soft snoring fills my ears, my eyes closed and head in Kingston's lap. Being curled up next to him is the best thing in the world, and no one can tell me any differently.

"Do you want to go to bed mi amor?" Kingston softly whispers.

I groan, softly shifting in his lap, tucking my hands under my head "No," I whisper softly.

Keep playing with my hair.

I swear Kingston reads my mind, because he starts to play with my hair again, twirling it between his fingers and giving me scratches.

The sound of low humming starts to fill the air around me. My lips tipping up as Kingston hums to me.

"Someday you'll put our kids to bed like this," I yawn tiredly and Kingston wraps his arms around me, holding me close as he stands up from the couch.

   His lips touch my forehead again "I can't wait," he whispers, the soft sound of his socked feet padding against the wood flooring as he holds me close and secure.

   Warm and cozy. Safe and home.

   His arms are home. My safe haven.

   The dogs nails gently click against the wood as they follow Kingston. My eyes stay closed, resting my head against his bare chest, the sound of his heart beat evident in my ears, the beat matching my own heart.

   "I've got you baby," he whispers in my ear softly, the soft bounce in his step indicating that he's walking me up the stairs. The sound of dogs panting fading into the background the farther Kingston walks.

   The gentle sway in his step, his soft touch, the sound of his heart against my cheek. So soothing, making me even more tired than I had already been.

I listen to the soft drumming of Kingston's heart, tucking my face away in his chest and looping my arms around his neck lazily. His chest pushes into me softly with each gentle breath he takes, and I enjoy every moment.

A door creaks and then Kingston walks a few steps before stopping and slowly lowering me. "Noooo," I groan, clinging to his neck to keep him close.

His breath fans across my neck as he chuckles "Don't worry love, it's the bathroom, we're brushing our teeth then going to bed," he murmurs in my ear and my eyes flutter open.

Another groan leaves me at the bright light but I grab my toothbrush and spread toothpaste along the bristles.

Kingston does the same and we both start brushing our teeth tiredly, my eyes threaten to close as seconds pass, my body swaying slightly as I look at myself in the mirror.

I spit out the toothpaste after two minutes of tiredly brushing my teeth and set my toothbrush down in the holder, rinsing my mouth with mouth wash before sadly slipping my rings off, setting them on the special ring holder Kingston got for us and slowly trudging towards my bed.

Beautiful, fluffy, comfy, warm bed.

A tired smile spreads on my face.

Mmmm I love my bed.

The mattress sinks as I climb onto the warm blankets and sheets, falling onto my stomach with a sigh, my eyes already falling closed.

The sound of a light switch getting flicked off echoes quietly through the now dark room, Kingston's footsteps getting closer as he approaches the bed.

The bed sinks, dipping down to my right as my mind drifts off and then back again, slowly drifting into sleep.

His warm arm wraps around me, pulling me back into his warm chest. The soft fabric of the heavy blankets being draped over my body and Kingston's, his hands gently tucking the fabric in around me.

The mattress dips further down by the end, and the quiet pant of Roxy and Rogue meet my ears, the tired smile still evident on my face.

Warm breath fans over my neck, soft skin nudging into the crook of my neck. Kingston's fresh minty breath meets my nose, his warm hands drifting up beneath my shirt under the blankets.

"Did you take your ring off?" I find myself asking in a slow voice, and Kingston gently traces his fingertips over my stomach, "Yes baby, I did, I know you don't like it when I wear it to bed because then it makes you cold," he's sadly not lying.

I make him take his ring off so when he holds me the metal doesn't make me freeze.

"Thank you," he hums softly in response, my ass fitting perfectly in the crevasse of his hips, his knees coming up underneath mine and his chest meeting my back. His warm, hard body pressed in around me, cocooning me in this bubble of warmth and sleepiness.

"Go to bed, sleep, I've got you, and I'm not going anywhere. You're my fiancée and that's all I need so go to sleep in my arms, dream about our upcoming wedding." His voice soft and gravely because of tiredness.

My consciousness slips again, my heart rate slowing down to a constant rate, my breathing doing the same as heaviness weighs over my body.

The soothing touch of Kingston's skin on mine, the soft breathing of the dogs, the steady beating of Kingston's heart and easy breathing.

Within not even minutes, my thoughts drift and I'm asleep in Kingston's arms.

The only place I ever want to be.

——————————————————————————
I made a playlist on Spotify if any of you guys are interested in listening to songs that remind me of my characters and book🥰

(If you are interested, just search up the story title)

I have picked out Amara's dresses and their honeymoon! Now all I have is...everything else 😅

Wish me luck!

Have a good rest of your day/night! I hope it was a good one🥰 and I hope you guys are all doing well.

See you next chapter!

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