WARNING: violence, implied abuse, implied homophobia, mentions of drugs
October 8th, 2012
Busan.
Trapped against the dirty wall of the living room with a calloused hand locked around his throat, Jeongguk was crying. Fat, salty tears were cascading down his wounded cheeks as he struggled to catch his breath, the fingers tightly wrapped around his throat blocking the access to his airways.
His labored breaths could be heard throughout the whole room, for the heavy sounds echoed off the poorly insulated walls with ease. Nonetheless, no one pointed out how bad Jeongguk's condition was. No one pointed out how pale he looked, how red his cheeks were, or how high off the ground he was.
It seemed as though even if they were looking directly at him, their eyes were seeing right through his scrawny body. Like he existed, but not in a material form.
Was he just a ghost to his own family?
Was he just a ghost to his mother, who watched the scene unfold with the same dead look in her obsidian eyes that she wore every day? Was he just a ghost to his step brothers, who were still so young and guiltless?
Was he just a mere ghost, an inconvenience to all those people who he helped in spite of their hatred towards him? Did he not deserve the slightest bit of empathy from them after ruining his childhood to feed them?
Apparently not.
The grip around his throat loosened and a choked out gasp left him, rib cage tensing as the way to his lungs was finally freed.
"You're disgusting." Jeongguk didn't know what hurt more; the punch he received in his face, or the words that followed. "A disgusting piece of shit and a poor excuse of a son." Another pang to his chest, much more painful than any beating his step father gave him.
"Don't you feel shameful? Don't you feel bad for inflicting this to your mother?" Jeongguk wanted to laugh at how ridiculous the angry man sounded. Mother? What a beautiful hyperbole to designate the woman who gave birth to him.
His brain might have been completely rotten from the unhealthy amount of drugs he had pumping through his system, but there was one thing he was sure of:
Jeon Jaelin was not a mom.
He had seen moms before; at school, in movies and even in the streets. They cared for their child, they made sure to make their kid wear a coat when they went outside. They forced them to eat as healthy as possible. They hugged them after an argument. They held them when they cried.
Jaelin didn't do any of that. Probably never will.
When Jeongguk cried, she would just put him in another room until he eventually passed out of exhaustion. If he caught a cold, she'd scold him and tell him to deal with it. After an argument, she didn't speak to him for hours, sometimes days. And when she did speak it was harsh, rough. Nothing like the tone moms use when they speak to their beloved children.
Jeon Jaelin was not his mom.
She was barely a woman.
Just like everyone under this roof, she was more of an empty shell, devoid of emotions and rationality.
Jeongguk didn't want to blame her. It wasn't her fault if things didn't go right in her life. It wasn't her fault if her client decided to remove the condom in the middle of the session and get her pregnant.
Yet he blamed her. Blamed her for dragging him into her mess of a life, for making sure he knew how much of a mistake, a failure he was. Blamed her for making him hate his own 'mother'. Blamed her for bringing home a shady guy when they were already struggling on their own. Blamed her for being more of a mother to his step brothers than to him.
Blamed her for ruining his life.
"Why would I feel shameful?" He ended up uttering once the tears dried on his cheeks. A cocky smile appeared on his reddened face, while the one his step-father wore fell. "All I did was kiss my boyfriend." He was not prepared for the blow that followed. By now he was positive his cheek had become a colorful fresco, similar to the ones he studied in art class.
His favorite class. The class where he met Haru, his boyfriend.
"And you're proud?"
Jeongguk nodded. He was proud of who he was, and to be fair, a beating wouldn't change his opinion in the slightest. He could care less about what his so-called parents thought of his sexual preferences. They weren't allowed to be judgmental when their lives were this shitty.
"We didn't raise you to be like this Jeongguk." Those were the first words Jaelin said that night. This was also the first time Jeongguk laughed at something she said.
"You didn't raise me at all, Jaelin." He retorted, putting all of his hatred in the glare he sent her way. Even that didn't seem to affect her, though. Did she feel anything anymore? It was hard to tell. She was bland and expressionless most of the times. She only displayed emotions when she had clients, and it was just a facade. An array of false expressions: joy, pleasure, satisfaction.
So sickeningly fake.
"You're right, I didn't raise you." Jaelin spoke up, voice and eyes stone cold as she met her son's loathe-filled eyes. "I had no obligation to raise you. I didn't want you, Jeongguk. But if you want to be raised so badly then so be it." Jeongguk gulped at her cruel words, he would never get used the horrible way she spoke to him, no matter how many times she repeated herself.
I didn't want you.
You ruined me.
You were a mistake.
Those unfair words were engraved in his mind, probably forever. And sometimes, when he'd have a moment to himself, they became impossible to ignore. He repeated them over and over in his head, until they were all he could think about.
It hurt.
"Fuck you, Jaelin." He spat, not even bothering to turn his head to look at her. She wasn't worth it. "Go whore around some more and stop ruining my fucking life." With that he slapped his step father's hand off of him, his bare feet finally hitting the cold tiles of the floor. He looked around the room, eyes filled with spite and hatred for what people called his family.
"I don't care what the fuck you assholes think of me. I'll do whatever the fuck I want, so don't waste your breath." He was about to leave the room, perhaps even the house, but a hand on his forearm stopped him.
Jaelin was looking at him with empty eyes, the sparkle that once habited them long gone as she stared at those of her son's, which were just as obscure.
"We're sending you to a conversion camp, Jeongguk."
******
TWITTER CHAT
Las Veghoes
SEOKJIN
Baby is it me or are you doing something to me?
NAMJOON
Please stop singing this stupid song, I miss the time where my ears were actually functional
JIMIN
don't call Baby Don't Like It stupid 😡
YOONGI
one of NCT 127's best song 😔
NAMJOON
You only know this song because Jimin forced you to listen to it!
JIMIN
as I should tbh 🥰
HOSEOK
Jimin forced me to listen to The Boyz and I'm not complaining
HOSEOK
My only complaint is that I'll never find a man like Sunwoo :(
HOSEOK
I mean, look at him!
HOSEOK
HOSEOK
they don't make men like him anymore, do they?
peachiichim saved hobisexual's picture to their photos!
YOONGI
JIMIN-
JIMIN
what? It's for my personal art collection!
HOSEOK
Am I in that collection?
JIMIN
PFFFT
JIMIN
The only picture I have of you is this one, hyung
JIMIN
NAMJOON
I...
SEOKJIN
Am...
YOONGI
Speechless...
HOSEOK
JIMIN WTF
HOSEOK
that's so old 😭 you didn't have to bring it back!
JIMIN
I think I did
JIMIN
don't worry Hobi, I'll let you choose the next person I expose :)
HOSEOK
wait, really?
JIMIN
mhm!
HOSEOK
well
HOSEOK
Yoongi has been pretty mean to
me lately
HOSEOK
Now it's my turn 🥰
YOONGI
Jimin, don't you dare.
JIMIN
I won't, don't worry 🥺
JIMIN
I'd never do that to my
boyfriend 👉👈
YOONGI
thank you, Minnie 💗
JIMIN
No problem baby <33
JIMIN
anyways
JIMIN
YOONGI
JIMIN!!
SEOKJIN
Iconic 🤩
hobisexual saved peachiichim's picture to their photos!
HOSEOK
How much did Jimin pay you to wear that? 💀
YOONGI
shut the fuck up, hobitch
HOSEOK
ouch 😔
NAMJOON
why is this picture lowkey adorable though?
NAMJOON
I mean it's definitely questionable but...
JIMIN
Yoongi is a cutie
JIMIN
he brings me breakfast in bed every morning 🥺💞
NAMJOON
I didn't really ask but alright
HOSEOK
Yoongi can't even cook
YOONGI
hey! I cooked many times last week 🙄
HOSEOK
What do you mean you cooked? Jeongguk cooked most of our meals, the only thing you did was put the left overs in the fridge 💀
YOONGI
yeah well, I can cook
JIMIN
Um, I never said he COOKED the breakfast
YOONGI
But I do!
JIMIN
Buying strawberries from the storm isn't cooking, hyung
JIMIN
nor is mixing cocoa with milk
YOONGI
Oh yeah?
YOONGI
Well, next time you'll cook your own damn breakfast 😤
JIMIN
nooooo :(((
JIMIN
I like your non-cooked breakfasts in bed, baby :(
HOSEOK
why am I here
NAMJOON
right-
SEOKJIN
I feel like
SEOKJIN
those two are practically married already
SEOKJIN
and it's making me feel single as hell
NAMJOON
I'm literally right there 🧍🏻
SEOKJIN
Hi there ! 🥰
NAMJOON
TAEHYUNG
Rise and shine, gays ✨
TAEHYUNG
what are you up to in this sunny Tuesday morning?
HOSEOK
it's 3:17pm
TAEHYUNG
...
TAEHYUNG
well shit
JIMIN
how come you woke up so late, Tae? You're usually up by 7
YOONGI
Can't relate
TAEHYUNG
I fell asleep late, I guess?
SEOKJIN
How late?
TAEHYUNG
why am I being interrogated 😭
SEOKJIN
Because! You never wake up that late or go to sleep late for the matter
HOSEOK
leave the poor guy alone damn
HOSEOK
Maybe he was just screwing Jeongguk 😔
TAEHYUNG
I was not screwing Jeongguk!
NAMJOON
Awww
NAMJOON
There's no need to lie to us
Tae 🥰
NAMJOON
we're besties, you can trust us!
TAEHYUNG
you scare me 💀
TAEHYUNG
what even makes you think I was screwing Jeongguk?
HOSEOK
Um
HOSEOK
because of this?
hobisexual sent a post by kookoonut!
—
— Yesterday I was getting fucked and I thought about how hot I'd look with black hair, so I did it
2.6k retweets 5k likes
|
|
kingjoonie: you think about yourself during sex?
jinniethepooh: omg noooo the long, golden hair will be missed
jinniethepooh: you look tasty as ever tho so, I'm not
complaining 😍
peachiichim: you said you'd let me pick your next color :(((
yoongay: TMI, dude
taesty: oh
—
TWITTER CHAT
Las Veghoes
TAEHYUNG
We weren't together last night, so
TAEHYUNG
it wasn't me guys
JIMIN
what?
HOSEOK
the disappointment is real
NAMJOON
who was it then?
TAEHYUNG
how would I know?
TAEHYUNG
ask him yourself
YOONGI
honestly, I don't get why you all care so much 🤷🏻
YOONGI
let the guy do whatever
JIMIN
OMG
JIMIN
YOU ARE SIDING WITH HIM!
YOONGI
I'm not siding with this creepy mafia guy
SEOKJIN
since when is Jeongguk apart of the mafia-
YOONGI
he looks like he could be apart of it 🙄
JIMIN
you defended him just now
JIMIN
you're warming up to him!
JIMIN
soon you'll be besties 🥰
YOONGI
ew
YOONGI
just the thought of that happening makes me puke
YOONGI
I just didn't want this conversation to be about another guy's sex life
SEOKJIN
same
SEOKJIN
it should be about MY sex life 😍
TAEHYUNG
suddenly I wish I was still asleep
JIMIN
I wish I could watch Business Proposal without getting interrupted by notifications from this cursed group chat
YOONGI
I wish I was 6 feet tall
HOSEOK
I wish I didn't have to see couples being lovey dovey every time I go out
NAMJOON
I wish my boyfriend acknowledged me
SEOKJIN
I wish I had a boyfriend
NAMJOON
that's it guys
NAMJOON
I consider myself a single man now
SEOKJIN
NO
SEOKJIN
You know I'm just kidding, Joon
SEOKJIN
DID YOU JUST LEAVE ME ON SEEN?
SEOKJIN
rude ass
SEOKJIN
can't even respect his hyung
YOONGI
let's be honest, no one in this group chat respects their hyungs
TAEHYUNG
I respect my hyungs!
YOONGI
Wasn't it three days ago that you compared me to an atom while you were trying to explain chemistry to Jin?
TAEHYUNG
hyung, are you okay?
TAEHYUNG
did you hit your head?
TAEHYUNG
Because I said no such thing
YOONGI
You brat
SEOKJIN
YALL
SEOKJIN
DO YOU WANT A ROOM TOUR?
SEOKJIN
I just finished moving my stuff to Namjoon's apartment
JIMIN
you're moving in with Namjoon?
NAMJOON
unfortunately
SEOKJIN
he's really happy about it!
SEOKJIN
TAEHYUNG
He looks delighted
SEOKJIN
he is 🥰
JIMIN
I'm glad your relationship is moving along, hyung
HOSEOK
can we get that room tour? I'm pretty sure it's gonna be iconic
TAEHYUNG
I mean
TAEHYUNG
You cant spell iconic without jin
NAMJOON
actually you can-
TAEHYUNG
NAMJOON
... message received
NAMJOON
Thank you for that, Tae
TAEHYUNG
anytime 🥰
SEOKJIN
OKAY LOOK AT THIS
SEOKJIN
SEOKJIN
so this is my bed
JIMIN
I choked
SEOKJIN
SEOKJIN
and of course I had to get matching cushions! All for the aesthetic <3
HOSEOK
...
SEOKJIN
SEOKJIN
I decided to keep the walls white but I don't like plain, boring designs so I bought a few posters to decorate it 🥰
SEOKJIN
isn't it pretty?
TAEHYUNG
yeah, real pretty hyung 👍
SEOKJIN
right?
SEOKJIN
This is why you're my favorite!
SEOKJIN
next up is this beautiful painting
SEOKJIN
SEOKJIN
I know Joon loves art, so I made sure this one was hanging right above his bed 🥰
NAMJOON
Geu soneul naemireojwo save me
save me
JIMIN
Self love is important, I guess
TAEHYUNG
Go off Seokjin hyung!
HOSEOK
I told you it would be iconic
YOONGI
I'm never visiting Namjin ever again
NAMJOON
don't put my name next to this devil's
JIMIN
Your relationship will never not confuse me
JIMIN
but you're cute when you want to and you're not toxic so I'm vibing with you two either way!
TAEHYUNG
same here :)
HOSEOK
why do couples exist
—
TWITTER CHAT
kookoonut
TAEHYUNG
are you seriously giving me the silence treatment, Gguk?
TAEHYUNG
I'm confused
TAEHYUNG
Did I do something wrong??
TAEHYUNG
I know you're reading these, Gguk
TAEHYUNG
:/
Seen 3.49pm
Daily reminder that sasaeng pictures need to be reported, not spread around :)
Not sharing sasaeng pictures means protecting your idols, and that's the least you can do for them.