"𝑰'𝒗𝒆 𝒇𝒐𝒖𝒏𝒅 𝒂 𝒏𝒂𝒕𝒖𝒓𝒂𝒍 𝒅𝒓𝒖𝒈 𝒇𝒐𝒓 𝒂𝒍𝒍 𝒐𝒇 𝒎𝒚 𝒑𝒂𝒏𝒊𝒄, 𝒂𝒏𝒙𝒊𝒆𝒕𝒚, 𝒂𝒏𝒅 𝒂𝒏𝒈𝒆𝒓. 𝑰𝒕'𝒔 𝒉𝒊𝒔 𝒗𝒐𝒊𝒄𝒆. 𝑰𝒕'𝒔 𝒉𝒊𝒎."
~~~
*Sigh*
Akhil sighed heavily sitting in the car as he finally finished his day's work and was now heading back home.
The thought of going back home to Preeti and spending time with her itself gave him enough comfort and peace.
"Spending time with you is the best part of the day." Akhil muttered to himself. Though he was excited to spend some time with her, he was also worried.
Something was off about her since few days. She wasn't eating properly, wasn't talking much, constantly zoning out and in the morning he even noticed her swollen eye bags.
"Did she cried yesterday night?" Akhil thought. He decided to have a conversation with Preeti regarding it once he's home.
He rang the doorbell but sensing no response for atleast five minutes he used the key to open the door.
"Preeti... " He called firmly but there wasn't any response. He checked the entire house and found it to be empty.
Akhil was about to exit the bedroom when he heard light sobs from the bedroom balcony. "I should check there as well."
He went outside only to witness a painful sight.
"Preeti..... " He's voice trailed off as he noticed her sitting on the ground her legs folded to her chest head duck between them and her hands wrapped around her body.
Her body shivered and her chest raised and lowered heavily. She was a crying mess, her figure disheveled.
A wave of shock strung Akhil but he quickly responded and lowered himself to her level. He noticed her phone besides her.
'Viv' the name on the screen flashed.
"Hello.... "
"Jij thank God you're home. Di's having a severe panic attack Jij. Please, please calm her down. Do anything you can but please calm her down. Hug her... Yes... That works the best... Please be with her Jij... " he cried.
Akhil still holding the phone engulfed Preeti into a warm hug. Keeping the phone aside he put one of his arms around her body while the other carsed her hair.
"A-Ak-Akhil.... " She finally spoke as she felt his warmth. "I-I.... " She couldn't complete. Her body didn't have enough strength to keep her speaking.
"It's OK... I'm here... It's fine"
"I-I can't stop it. I-I'm sorry."
"Shh... I said it's OK. I've got you. You don't need to be sorry for anything Jaan." His voice was firm and held care.
After around twenty minutes Preeti calmed down. Her heart wasn't pounding as hard as before. She was finally breathing normally though her body still shivered. Her eyes were swollen cz of all the crying. Her head leaned against Akhil's shoulder who hadn't left her even for a second.
"C-can we go in?" She managed to ask.
"Sure." He helped her getting up but her body had lost it's strength. She stumbled but Akhil caught her wrapping his one arm around her waist and the other holding her hand firmly.
He made her sit on the bed adjusting the pillow behind her and covering the duvet over her legs. He was about to move to get her a glass of water but Preeti held his fingers gently.
"Stay!" She breathed out.
"I'm not going anywhere. Just let me bring you a glass of water hmm.. " He assured her stroking her tear-stained face.
She nodded faintly.
Akhil brought her a glass of water which she gulped down in one go as the attack caused a drought in her mouth.
"You OK now?"
"May be."
Akhil sat right in front of her holding one of her hands in his. No words were exchanged. Akhil kept looking at Preeti while she rested her head against the headboard looking into space.
"Do you need something?" he asked breaking the unbearable silence.
"A hug!" Preeti said looking into his eyes.
Her eyes held pain, misery, trauma. A wound that Akhil was unaware of. He could see it past her eyes. There wasn't the usual sparkle in them. It pained him to see his wife suffering through something he didn't knew the cure for.
He did hug her as she wished. It gave her enough calmness to settle down. "I'm hungry. Can we eat?"
"Sure." Akhil took her to the living room. He cut her some fruits, which she ate meanwhile he cooked for them.
"Let me." Akhil said as he noticed Preeti struggling to eat. Seeing Akhil's care for her Preeti's eyes were moist.
"You must be tired and here you have to.... " She couldn't complete as Akhil forced a morsel into her mouth.
"Don't even think something like that. I've said it before and I'll say it again Preeti. No matter what the situation is you'll always find me besides you, for you! . I'm here to take care of you."
Preeti gave him a faint smile.
They went back to their room. Akhil tucked Preeti warmly in the duvet and went towards the bathroom to change. Coming out he saw Preeti awake sitting on the bed her eyes glistening with tears. She was again sitting in the same position like in the balcony.
Akhil hurried towards her and engulfed her in his warm embrace.
"Are you fine Preeti?"
"I-I can't sleep. Days when I have panic attacks I-I have nightmares. They-They scare me." Preeti snuggled into him like a baby.
"You're weak Preeti. You need to rest." Akhil gently stoked her head. His heart ached seeing her like this.
Hell! She was the strongest and the boldest woman he knew. But she was devastated from inside.
"Can I hug you and sleep? I usually hug Maa when I have nightmares but.... " Her mother wasn't there with her. Infact the Rai's weren't in the city.
"Is that something you need to ask!"
Akhil laid down besides her sliding one of his arms below her head, another holding her firmly. Preeti put her arm around Akhil and snuggled closer to him. She curled up like a baby in his arms.
She felt comfortable in them. She wasn't sure about the nightmares but she knew he'll be there to comfort her if she'll have one.
Fortunately she didn't. She had a good night's sleep, dozing in his arms.
Akhil got up in the morning when he felt his body being tightly gripped.
"Why does this pillow feel so muscular today?" Preeti mumbled in her sleep pouting.
Akhil was relieved at the sight of her being all innocent in her sleep.
'Thank God she didn't have any nightmares!' he sighed in relief.
---
"Akhil we need to go somewhere." Preeti said in a low voice as Akhil settled the tray of coffee on the dinning table.
"Yeah sure. But tell me first how do you feel now?"
"Much better."
"So where do you want to go?"
"Somewhere I find my peace and feel miserable at the same time. A place that's very important to me."
---
Akhil drove the car whilst Preeti gave him the directions. The car stopped in front of an old building nearly thirty to fourty years old.
Akhil frowned thinking why would Preeti bring them here? What was so important about this place. He knew it had something to do with her panic attack but what?
She guided them to the fourth floor of the building to one of the corner apartments. Preeti removed a bunch of keys from her bag and unlocked the door with the help of one of them.
"Welcome to my home Akhil." Preeti said as soon as they entered in. Akhil looked at her in surprise. Glancing around he saw there was a lot of dust may be because the house had been shut since many days.
"Your house?" Akhil asked looking at Preeti who was looking around in awe but with a sad smile.
"A house that has seen the best and worst days of my life. We used to live here before we shifted to the current one thirteen years back after.... " Preeti stopped as she gulped the lump forming in her throat.
It had taken her lot of courage to bring Akhil here, open up to him, let him know the reason for yesterday.
"Come" She gestured him to follow her. She led them to one of the bedrooms of the house. Opening one of the drawers of the old wooden table, probably the only furniture piece in that room she removed a photograph and turned towards Akhil.
She settled besides the table not caring about the dust around her. It didn't bother her. Akhil also seated besides her.
Preeti cleared the dust from the photograph. It was an old photo, the same one she had at home. The same one she hugged and cried before leaving the house.
It was his photo.
"Do you know what's the best thing about today Akhil?" Akhil looked at her who had a blank expression on her face with eyes still moist.
"It's his birthday." She handed the photo to him.
Akhil was looking at the photograph of a fifteen year old boy.
"And do you know what's the worst part about today?" Preeti said her face still expressionless. "Today was the day when we lost him. Forever!! "
Akhil snapped his head up towards her. "Who's he?" He asked getting anxious.
"My brother! My elder brother, my saviour, m-my Ishaan Bhai." Preeti's voice broke. The tears she was trying to hold back escaped.
Akhil came closer to her and let her cry in his arms. He didn't knew what to say. He was dumbfounded with the new revelation.
'What might have happened?' Akhil thought.
Preeti composed herself and took the photograph in her hand.
"It was his sixteenth birthday. Maa, Papa, Viv, Bhai and me were all on a vacation at a farmhouse. He had just completed his boards exams. On the night of his birthday..... " Preeti stopped as she felt an ache in her chest.
Her body had again started shivering. Her words were numb. But she wanted to continue. She tried to handle herself.
"Tha-That very night I-I was locked up in a dark room by someone. I-I cried for help but all in vain. Finally when Bhai found me, I r-ran. I was terrified. I ran into the backyard which used to con-connect to a road after a while.
I didn't knew where was I going. I could hear Bhai calling me back but I didn't stop.
I was finally on the road, but my legs didn't stop. Suddenly I saw a truck coming towards me and I-I froze on my spot. The truck approached me in high speed and in the next second I was thrown to the ground by someone's hard push.... "
Preeti was now breathing heavily. As much as she wanted to continue her body wasn't supporting her. The rising panic just didn't let her speak further.
Akhil tried to hold her but she stopped him.
"I-I couldn't get up as I felt my leg numb. B-But I had heard Bhai scream my name. I looked around to find him but saw him nowhere. J-J-Just then I-I noticed some blood flow around m-me. I looked around to-to see a-and..... "
Preeti broke down. She sobbed heavily. The memories of that night started haunting her. But she was hell bound to let the pain come out. Akhil was on the other hand worried about her. She was being stubborn to complete but seeing her in this state made him weak.
"....I-I saw Ishaan Bhai lying there, b-blood flowing from his h-head. I was terrified Akhil. I screamed like anything. I called out everyone's names. But since we were on the road I was barely audible. After a while my parents did come searching for us. When they saw Bhai in that state they broke down.
I-I still remember those horrifying screams of my mother. My father frozen like ice and V-Viv's cries. He was declared already dead when we reaches the hospital. He lost his life in saving me.
It all happened because of me. Hadn't I run away like that we wouldn't have lost him. Maa Papa wouldn't have lost their eldest son, Vivaan wouldn't have lost his brother, his shield and me, I-I wouldn't have lost my saviour."
Preeti was now devoid of tears. As much as she wished them flow down they weren't coming out. Her chest was aching. Akhil was silent. What could he say?
"You know, why I call him my savior? Cz he always used to be there for me. He took care of me as a fragile doll. He was just two years elder than me but way mature than kids of his age.
He used to pamper me and Vivaan. Life was so easy with him. Maa Papa were devastated by his demise. He was the one who made him parents. It took us a lot of time to come out of the trauma.
After two years when I completed my 10th we decided to move out. Every inch of this house reminded us of him. There was no way I could forget that night's incidents staying here. But this house was very dear to us. Vivaan was born here. So we decided to not sell this anyone.
Eventually we learnt to live by accepting our fate, but I still have nightmares about the accident. The blood, tears, cries they still send shivers to me.
I wish that fateful night never happened. I would still have him besides me. Even if I had a small scratch he used to so worried for me. I was closest to him, even more than Maa and Papa. Losing him was one of the worst happenings of my life. After a few years I lost my Mama Mami (Maira's parents) too. Three people whom I was so close to departed from my life. "
Preeti's voice was cold. Her face was pale, with tear marks on it. After being silent for a while Akhil lifted her up.
She was broken from inside. She lost someone so dear to her. Just thinking about it made him freeze. And Preeti had gone through it.
"After how long you're visiting here?" Akhil asked as Preeti now composed herself.
"I come here every year on this day. Maa Papa and Viv visit our ancestoral temple every year for some rituals but I don't go."
He engulfed her in a hug and kissed her temple. "I won't say that I totally understand how you feel. I know I can't. But I promise to be there for you when you're hurt. You don't need to go through it alone. Whenever you feel your emotions, taking toll over you just let me know."
Preeti was assured that this is something she'll need to pass through her pain. 'Him'!
---
At night when they returned home Preeti was exhausted. Her body demanded rest.
At midnight Akhil heard some faint voices. He looked towards Preeti and saw she was muttering something in her sleep. Her body drenched in sweat.
"Preeti...."
Preeti woke up with a jerk and clinged to him.
"Hey hey it's OK. Don't panic. You're safe with me." "Let me bring some water for you."
After drinking water Preeti didn't sleep.
"Want me to cuddle you?" Akhil asked carsing her cheek.
Preeti nodded lightly. She snuggled into him and fell asleep.
**********
So finally you know who's 'he'!!
I want your honest opinions about this chapter cz I'm writing an emotional scene for the first time. I really nervous if you guys like it or not.
I hope I did enough justice in writing it.
Any comments about Preeti's past?
Next update in few days.