︰୨୧・꒱ ────sixth year: distorted
ᥫ᭡
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summary ::
dreams.
notes ::
this was really short :// sorry. filler chapter. :).
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"coulda drowned in it„
21st january 1978,
athena's head throbbed as she woke up, someone standing over her and shaking her awake.
"psst. tina," the voice whispered gently. "wake up, love."
her eyes slowly opened, the blurry image of the person slowly clearing. as she sat up, she noticed it was regulus and smiled. but soon after, she remembered what had happened last night and her smile dropped.
"what's the time?" she asked, realising how dark it was.
"four in the morning," he said. "we'd better get you out before potter gets pissed."
"potter doesn't own me," she spat. "and, besides, why do you care? you seemed to enjoy confusing the shit out of me yesterday."
"i'm sorry — what?"
"you made me feel wanted when you begged me to come to your game ... then you — you got mad at me for being nice to james. and — well i don't need to tell you what came after that." she realised how hungover she was and soothed her head with her hand. "then you bring me here. me; a half-blood ravenclaw that every slytherin corners. then you fuck off to some random girl when i stopped dancing."
regulus noticed her soothing her head and stood up, grabbing water from a nearby table. when he came back, he gave her the water and helped her sit up, not saying anything.
"i don't want anything from you," he finally said. "this doesn't have to be something. it was meaningless, okay? meant fuck all."
"what?" she scoffed. "i know it meant nothing. but i still want us to be friends."
"you don't understand, jenkins," he said, watching her take a sip of water. "we're nothing anymore. we can't be."
"reg." her stomach churned and she drank some more water. "we'll never be more than friends. trust me, i kno—"
"no."
he stood up and pulled her up with him, his grip on her wrists familiarly harsh.
"i don't want anything to do with you."
athena almost dropped her cup at those words. her eyes immediately pricked with tears, threatening to fall if she dare make eye contact with regulus. thankfully, he looked down at the ground, his face hidden.
"you were the one begging to be friends!"
"leave. don't worry pandora."
"what did i fucking do?"
"it's late. go."
"reggie."
"jenkins, i'm not kidding. please, leave."
athena forced the glass back into regulus's hands, shoving it harshly against his chest — she wanted the water to go all over his shirt — and backed away, shaking her head.
"enjoy your wet spots with that slytherin," she smiled. "and don't say anything! this is me being happy for you. congratulations."
she expected his usual 'fuck off.' nothing happened. his head was still hanging low, he was still staring at the ground, and athena gave up trying to get answers from him and turned around, leaving the slytherin common rooms.
was this it between them?
athena's headache only grew worse as she made her way back to the ravenclaw tower. her hands scrunched the sides of her skirt in anxiety as she heard whispers. her legs forced onwards, her eyes pooling with tears. she let one tear fall and wiped it before entering the ravenclaw common rooms.
entering her dorm room, she realised she was back to basically having no reliable friends. no one to go to class with or sit with.
athena jenkins was a loner.
she looked at pandora and rested her head on her pillow. pandora's beautiful, blonde hair laid down next to her rosy cheeks, full lips and her perfect perfect eyelashes. how much athena wanted to be her former best friend in that moment was indescribable.
pandora lestrange was so perfect. beautiful and carefree.
hm, athena thought, closing her eyes, wonder how badly i fucked that up with her.
***
23rd january 1978,
athena sat down at breakfast, folding her book open and poking her spoon into her breakfast. pandora glared at her from across the ravenclaw table.
so, she was still pissed.
athena looked away from pandora and looked over at the slytherin table.
she found him quickly, his raven black curls catching her attention. he was facing down, but there was nothing on his table. he was staring at his hands, fiddling with the rings on his fingers. his head lifted slightly and athena could catch some of his face; he looked like he was about to be sick. sorrow filled his eyes, guilt possibly hinting in the way he gnawed at his lip.
regulus pushed his bowl away and stood up, making his way to the exit of the great hall. athena itched to get up and follow him, even if she knew she shouldn't.
she was about to stand up when barty crouch jr sat down next to her, placing his arm around shoulder and smirking.
"don't," he mumbled. "don't follow him."
she bit her lip, accidentally pulling some skin off and looked up at barty.
"you're an idiot," she said. "you know that?"
"me? what'd i do?" barty laughed.
"you're mates with snobs but still being seen with me," she said. "a half-blood. not exactly a good time for that right now."
"you mean about ...?" he started but athena nodded before he could finish his sentence. "ok. well, let them see. i'm tired of being with black all the time and you're much better."
she shook her head and picked up her spoon, looking at pandora again. the blonde girl was clearly pissed, her cheeks flaring red and her chin held high. athena knew how bad it looked.
"where's rosier?" she asked, before putting her spoon in her mouth, despite it being nearly empty.
"pissed me off, too," barty looked down at her and ran his hands through his hair. "oi. what happened yesterday? you and black.."
"nothing," she murmured, pulling the spoon out of her mouth and running her tongue over her teeth. "he told me he wanted nothing to do with me anymore after the party."
barty snorted, "liar. he doesn't stop going on about you, jenkins."
"yeah, sure."
"i think i've got an idea on why he's acting like that.."
***
4th february 1978,
athena hadn't seen regulus for a while. he bunked most of his classes, which was weirdly unlike him.
but on wednesday afternoon, in divination, she was secretly excited that she saw him sit beside her. as he pulled his book out, athena looked over at him. her heart almost shattered when she noticed how different he looked. and not in a good way.
his eyes were tired. eyebags settled underneath them, darker than ever. his cheekbones stuck out, almost taking the exact shape of a skull. his perfect curls were messily pulled back, as if he kept running his hands back through his hair. his skin was paler than ever and athena couldn't help but notice how shaky his hands were as he grabbed the crystal ball.
"regulus," she whispered, scraping her chair close to him. "tell her you need to see dumbledore and meet me outside."
he looked towards her, his eyes softening as they met athena's. he bit his lip and nodded. athena gave him a half smile, not a full one because she felt it wasn't exactly appropriate, and turned to trelawney.
"professor, i need to pee," she said. "please," she added after trelawney raised an eyebrow at her.
"yes, quickly."
athena rushed out of the classroom, leaning against a wall nearby, waiting for regulus. a few minutes passed before he stepped out of the classroom, shutting the door. they both knew to walk far away from the classroom, as if they knew what was about to happen.
athena stood, pulling on the strings of her clothes and stared at him. but he was looking down, not being able to make any form of eye contact. he wasn't even able to look at her.
"i'm sorry," was what he said. "please forgive me. i promise i won't do anything like that again."
"regulus. i know you're sorry. barty told me."
"how much?" he breathed.
"enough. that my blood status pissed her off and that it was probably one of your extended relatives who told her."
"okay," he sighed. "okay. so i should—"
"i'm not here for you to apologise to me. reg. are you okay?"
he shook his head.
a few moments of silence passed before he walked forward and hugged her. she was used to this; feeling confused any time he showed signs of affection.
"i hate her," he said, digging his face into her shoulder. his voice broke as tears pooled in his eyes. "i hate her, i hate her, i hate her. tina, i'm so sorry."
she still hadn't adjusted fully to that nickname even though it seemed like nature to him.
"it's okay. i forgive you."
"how?"
he mumbled something else that she didn't catch due to the fact his mouth was muffled by her shirt as his tears soaked it. athena felt his whole a day shaking in her arms. she hugged him tighter, her hand tangled in his hair.
"you don't get it," he sobbed. "i don't know how you even can. it was my fault. i —"
she ran her hand through his hair one last time, before pulling his head up, holding his face with both of her hands. she wiped his tears, trying to hold a calm persona when in reality, she had no idea what to do.
"i forgive you."
"tina—"
"shhh. i don't care," she said, wiping under his eyes. "breathe — we can go get water. skip today's classes. as long as you promise me you're coming in tomorrow. you've missed too much."
he sniffed and smiled at her.
"don't you want me to fail? so you can be top of the class?" he laughed a small laugh.
"oh, shut up."
athena dropped her hands from his cheek, leaving one slightly by his jaw and the other one running down his arm. his hands ran down to her waist, pulling her closer.
their foreheads touched, only seconds before their lips connected; warm shared breath; dried out eyes; noses bumping. this kiss was different to any other one. this felt meaningful, seeing as it was after regulus cried to her. there were sparks. it was gentle, no intention to go farther than kissing, their lips slowly moving in a rhythm. regulus held her close, keeping their bodies warm. no tongue was involved — they didn't feel like they needed it.
as long as it was just the two of them. that's all they needed.
"reg," athena breathed, pulling away. "let's go."
"ok.."
their hands linked, athena leading him to her dorm. pandora was only in their dorms when it was night. she was obviously trying to avoid athena whenever she could. that meant it was safe to be there with regulus.
the slytherin boy sat down on pandora's bed, fluffing her pillows. he laid back and athena laid next to him, smiling.
"you okay now?"
"i'm better."
athena rolled over, facing him. he turned his head toward her and raised his eyebrows.
"how am i supposed to believe you won't ... blow up again?" she asked. "i mean, i know about your mother finding out and writing to you but ..."
"i'm pretty good at keeping secrets," he smirked.
"yeah? what does that mean?"
"means i can do whatever you'd like me to, as long as nobody knows."
athena didn't answer. she bit her lip and stayed silent, not exactly knowing what he meant.
"tina, you're oblivious as fuck," he laughed. "i'm accepting your proposal to turn this into something — fling if you'd like to call it."
"sorry," she murmured. "i'm bad at being straight up."
he smiled and she smiled back, kissing him. he kissed her back, climbing on top of her.
then he pulled away just as quickly as he kissed her and rested his head on her chest.
"mmm, night," athena laughed.
"shh. don't laugh — your chest rises and my pillow's not supposed to do that."
this is crazy. sooooo fucking crazy, athena was thinking. regulus black?! right here. comforted by ... me.
***
they ended up both falling asleep and woke up an hour after classes ended. regulus woke up first and didn't move for a while, but his breathing grew heavier as his eyes slowly opened. his loud breathing consequently woke athena up, too, and she groaned as she rubbed her eyes.
he lifted his head off her chest and smiled, before dropping his head on the bedding next to them. athena looked around quickly, scrambling to get up.
"what's the time?" she groaned.
regulus flipped his wrist, his eyes adjusting to being open and examined his watch. due to his tiredness, it took him a while to read the time.
"uhh.. quarter to five?" he said, unsure. "or is that quarter past? i can't focus."
"shit!"
pandora would be back by now. athena sat up, opening the door of her dorm room. no one was in the corridor and it seemed so quiet that it was unlikely anyone was even upstairs.
"she's not there," she said, sighing in relief. "thank fuck."
"you're stepping on something," regulus said, laying back on her bed.
athena lifted her foot and a piece of paper sat there under it. she picked it up, unfolding it and read quickly.
won't come back tonight. staying at xeno's. sleep well,
panda.
athena smiled and tossed the paper to regulus and when he read it, he smiled even bigger.
"great luck," he said sleepily. "i'm going back to sleep."
"mm, i would but i've got reading to catch up on," she said. "fucking binns set us thousand page books for one week."
"didn't miss old binns," regulus said, closing her eyes. "and i definitely do not want to see him again tomorrow."
athena grabbed her history of magic book and sat next to regulus, opening the book on chapter five. she only had that day to read twenty more chapters. so she rested her head on regulus's shoulder and began to read.
a few hours later, she finally shut the book, chucking it next to her bed, and deciding to tuck under the blankets and sleep.
regulus was reading along the whole time, so he hadn't slept either.
they both pulled their pillows flat and turned toward each other, ready to sleep for the night.
"thank you for not hating me," regulus whispered.
"i knew it would never last."
"me, too," he smiled. "no one can ever hate me for too long."
"yeah, sure."
he laughed, a sound athena was sure she could get used to. his small dimples showed as his smile widened and his adam's apple bobbed up and down. athena smiled, too.
"why'd you hate me?" she asked, still smiling.
he went silent, staring at her for a little bit. "mm. it's too late to get into that whole thing. but i never actually hated you. just slightly disliked."
"hm."
"i promise you'll get all your answers to my confusing shit one day. i promise, tina."
"saying that only confuses me more, reg," she whispered. "just tell me."
"but what if i can't yet? i don't want to risk it."
"okay. in your own time," she sighed.
"i'm sorry."
he leaned over and kissed her quickly, athena's stomach fluttering.
if they both admitted it was going to be a fling, why did athena want it to be more than that? and why didn't it feel casual?
athena laughed quietly, pulling the covers higher over herself.
"i missed you," regulus said very quietly before drifting asleep, seconds before athena also fell asleep. she was far too tired to hang on his stupid words.
her mind shut off as she fell into a deep sleep, her consciousness shifting to a dream.
"are you stupid?!" a cold voice shouted. it was feminine but quite low.
"i—i'm not like him, okay?" another voice shouted back. it was a male. he must have been young. maybe fifteen. "i didn't know she was — well.."
"you do realise that we have no choice but to—"
"no. we're not doing that. i'll think of something, i swear, mother."
"you disgust me, regulus arcturus black. you are my only hope and you better find a way out. or you'll end up just like your brother."
then a high pitched scream. then multiple distorted screams. then distorted shouts and cries. then just cries. regulus's cries.
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song at start ::
november has come by gorillaz
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