Warning: SMUT.
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Ezi had had a dream last night in which Harry had told her he loved her.
She had been so happy.
In the fairytale books she'd read and romantic movies she'd watched, those three words were the beginning of a happy ending. She didn't remember exactly what had happened in the dream after he'd said those words, maybe nothing had happened after that. Maybe that was the end.
But in reality, there was no 'the end' as they rode off into the sunset together. Now she stood in front of him, tongue-tied.
What did this mean for them?
She was going to lie to her mother because she'd assumed she'd failed her mission. But she hadn't? At least not yet. Harry loved her, or so he'd said. And that beating organ inside his chest had once been useless to her, but now it was valuable. She wouldn't have to present the pig's heart if she'd taken his now.
Yet her fingers were gathered into tight fists, pressing against her sides. He held her gaze, his eyes soft and vulnerable. If she shoved him backwards and stabbed him with the pen on the desk, he wouldn't be able to react as fast. This could all be finished in a second. She could step over his bleeding corpse and flee to the harbour. Her mother would welcome her home with open arms. She would be the hero she was destined to be. And that would be the end.
"Ezi," Harry said, pulling her out of her thoughts. "Say something, please."
No. She couldn't kill him.
She swallowed the lump in her throat and averted her eyes from his. Her voice was so shaky she barely recognised it, "When're the guests going to be here?"
Harry froze for a second. "Are you serious?"
She glanced up. There was a hint of either frustration or anger or sadness on his face; she couldn't decide which.
He breathed, "I just told you I loved you."
"I heard you," she said, trying to keep her tone neutral. It came out robotic. "But what did you expect from saying that? I'm leaving tonight. How you feel about me won't matter."
"Oh, shush." He gave an aggressive wave of his hand. "I'm tired of your empty lies, Ezi. You don't mean these things. You don't even sound like yourself. I told you that because I wanted you to know you're wanted here, in this house, in my life, in my world."
"I don't belong to this world," she murmured. The words felt like a twist of the invisible knife in her chest. "All I've been doing from the start is pretend."
"No, what you're doing now is pretend. You love the human world, Ezi. Just because you were born in the ocean doesn't mean you have to spend the rest of your life there. You love to explore. You love to read. You love pizza. You love Chilli. You love...You love me."
"Is that what you want to hear?" She scoffed, hating how mean she sounded.
If Harry was hurt, he didn't show.
"Because I can't say that to you. I don't want to lie."
"What's wrong with you, Ezi? You're acting strange." He advanced, and she immediately took a step back. So he stopped and shoved his hands into the pockets of his trousers. A line appeared between his furrowed brow. "I feel like you still haven't told me everything."
"I've told you enough. It's your fault you refuse to believe me."
Harry opened his mouth, but before he could speak, Niall poked his head into the doorway. Judging from the grin on his face, Ezi knew he hadn't heard their conversation.
"Harry, mate, the guests are here."
Harry gave a small nod. Niall left, and Harry gave Ezi one cold look over his shoulder; his eyes were full of unspoken words, yet he stayed silent and headed out, not looking back.
Ezi fell back into her chair and turned back to look at her reflection in the mirror. All she saw was a failure.
How could he love this?
.
.
.
Harry felt stupid.
He should not have told Ezi he loved her. She didn't even trust him enough to tell him the truth. He had no idea what was going on anymore. He tried to think back to where it'd all gone wrong. Things had been fine before her sister had come here. That girl was evil, and she must have said something to mess with Ezi's head. She could be blackmailing Ezi. Harry knew it was beyond his power and knowledge to help, but he hated the feeling of being hand-tied.
The party went on well, as expected. His songs were blasting on the speaker. He and Ezi sounded so good together it was almost torturing to think about it. The guests congratulated him on the new release. They asked about Ezi. He said she wasn't feeling well, but honestly, where the hell was she? His gut feeling was warning him that something bad was about to happen, but he couldn't be too sure. It could just be anxiety.
"Harry," the voice brought his attention to the door.
"Mum?"
His mother was here. Harry had sent out the invitation, but he hadn't expected his mother to come. She had never been to any of these events before.
She was wearing a long dark green velvet dress, her hair pulled up, lifting her elegant face.
Dawson followed right behind, his tall figure looming over her, yet her powerful presence made him seem small. Harry always felt small when he was with his mother. Perhaps it was because to her, he would always be a child. That made him want to impress her in everything he did, yet Dawson always did it so effortlessly.
"Nice party, Harry," Dawson said.
Harry smiled and shook his cousin's hand.
His mother's serene expression then also broke into a smile. She lifted her face to kiss his cheek. "Congratulations, darling. This party looks amazing."
Harry could not believe it. His mother had just praised him for his party.
"And I really love your song with Ezili."
And his song, too! This couldn't be real.
He tried his best not to be too excited, but now he couldn't stop smiling. Even Dawson seemed proud of him.
"I'll go grab some drinks. Would you like some?" Dawson asked Harry's mother.
She only shook her head and said thank you, then watched him leave.
"So." She scanned her curious eyes around the room. "Where's your girlfriend?"
"She's upstairs," Harry said, hoping it was true. He knew she wouldn't sneak out without saying goodbye, but who knew? She hadn't been acting like herself lately, so anything could happen.
"That girl," his mother said. "She's quite special. I like her."
Harry pressed his lips into a polite smile. He guessed that Ezili had had something to do with his mother's decision to show up tonight, and he was grateful. His mother had never approved of any girl he'd been with, but she'd admitted to liking Ezili.
Then it occurred to him that when Ezili left, he would have to explain to his mother how they ended, as if they had ever started in the first place. He wasn't looking forward to it.
Dawson returned with a glass of wine. He and Harry's mother then started chatting about something Harry couldn't be bothered to keep up with. He downed his drink and tried to think of an excuse to go check on Ezi.
But right as he was about to speak, he spotted her on the other side of the room. She was wearing a black satin dress he'd picked out for her, her hair black and falling free down to her back, tucked nicely behind her ears. She was laughing with two guests. They seemed to like her. Harry was impressed by how fast she learned. He didn't have to worry about her saying the wrong things again. She was becoming more human now. What made her think she couldn't stay?
He put the empty glass on the table near him as she said goodbye to the guests and padded across the wooden floor towards him, Dawson, and his mother.
"Oh, there she is!" Dawson exclaimed, then gave Ezili a hug.
She hugged his mother, too, asking her how she'd been. Harry observed them in silence. He'd never noticed how good Ezili was at hiding her emotions, because right now, in front of him, was a happy girl who had no care about anything in the world. The smile never leaving her face was a genuine one. Nobody could have guessed that they'd been fighting earlier.
How could she do that? Maybe it was the siren part in her that gave her the ability to just switch off her feelings when needed.
He shivered at the thought. Maybe he'd been wrong about her feeling the same way about him. She could have been just very good at acting like it.
"Oh, no, it's lovely there in the fall. You should definitely go. Right Harry?"
Harry flinched when he heard his name and looked up to find three bewildered pairs of eyes pinned on him.
"What are you talking about?"
His mother exhaled a laugh. "Oh, Harry, where have you been? We were just talking about Regent's Park. It seems like Ezili hadn't been there."
"Harry, are you alright?" Dawson asked, seemingly concerned. "You seem pale."
"I'm good." Harry faked a smile and looked at Ezili, who smiled back. "We'll go to Regent's Park in the fall."
"Sounds lovely," she said. He knew she didn't mean it.
"Excuse me," he said quickly, then turned to leave. He couldn't be arsed to give an explanation. He just needed to go somewhere other than here. It had been fine a second ago, but now it was too much. All these voices and the music, also Ezili acting like a soulless being, and if he'd been here for any longer, his head would explode.
But then, to his surprise, she followed him.
"Harry, wait."
He stopped before reaching the grand staircase. She grabbed him by the elbow. He turned. Their eyes locked.
"I want to apologise," she said before he could. She'd switched on her feelings again; her cold blue eyes had darkened with trouble. They reminded him of the stormy sea.
And now he was worried too. He watched her cover her face with her palm, and so he took her wrist and gently removed her hand. "Hey, what's wrong? Tell me."
She started shaking her head. "I don't want to do it, Harry. I don't want to."
"What do you mean? You're not making any sense, Ezi."
She tried to steady her breaths. It looked almost like she was having a panic attack. She put her hands on his forearms and squeezed. "I'm sorry for what I said earlier. I didn't mean any of that. This is our last night, and I should–"
"No, this isn't our last night. Don't say that."
"No, Harry, you don't–"
"I don't get it? But I do. I get that your sister is manipulating you."
"It's not–"
"Listen." He shushed her. She pressed her lips tightly together, her lashes wet. He stroked her cheeks with his thumbs and watched the colour return to her face. "We'll figure this out later. But let's enjoy the party, shall we?"
Ezi's hands slipped from his arms. She stepped around him and grabbed the railing of the staircase. "Can we talk to a few more guests then go upstairs? I just...I tried to socialise because it's your night, but the sounds..."
"That's alright. You don't have to socialise." He gently touched her arm. "Wait for me upstairs. I'll come in five. Just need to make sure Jeff takes care of the rest."
She thought for a moment, then nodded.
"Wait."
She paused and turned to look at him. He advanced. She was standing one stair above him, so now the top of her head reached his nose. He kissed her forehead, laced his fingers with her, and stepped back to eye her from head to toes.
"What?"
"You look so beautiful, Ezi."
"Thank you." She smiled politely. "Are you not just saying that?"
"No. You do look beautiful. And by the way, I always mean what I say."
She held his stare.
"I do love you, Ezi," he went on. "It's okay if you don't feel like saying it back now. I know it was unfair of me to expect you to–"
"Can we talk upstairs?" she interrupted him, then looked guilty. "It's just..."
"Sure," he eased her with another smile. "We'll talk upstairs."
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.
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Ezi was pacing back and forth in her room now.
She had to tell him. She must. She couldn't hide this from him forever. She didn't know how he would react when he found out that she was on a mission to steal his heart and bring it back to her Queendom, that her mother's army was planning on a war that humans had no idea about, that everyone's fate now relied on that tiny thing beating inside his chest.
Of course, she wasn't going to kill him. She could not. She would still go with the pig's heart and pray for the best. But that didn't mean her intention had always been innocent. And tonight, she had to eject herself from his life. But before that, he deserved to hear the truth.
She had no idea how long she'd been waiting, but a minute felt like a lifetime when you were just waiting in silence.
Eventually, there were footsteps outside the door, and the handle shook. Harry walked in. He looked relieved. "Hey."
"Hey."
He shut the door, and she sat back on the bed. The atmosphere suddenly turned grave. Hesitantly, he marched over and sat himself down beside her. They shared a look and a smile. It was awkward.
"So," he started, rubbing his hands nervously together. "You wanted to talk."
"Yeah," she breathed, zeroing in on the small crack on the shelf in front of them.
"Can I say something first?"
"Yeah, sure." She was glad he'd said that, because she still wasn't sure what she was about to say was the right thing to say, and she didn't want to just get it over with. She didn't want him to hate her.
Harry shifted a bit and rotated to sit facing her. He took her hand and brought it to his lap. His eyes fell, watching his fingers graze her knuckles.
"I'm sorry for what I said earlier. I know it was unfair of me to tell you how I felt and expected you to feel the same way. And I know I was not in any position to tell you how you should feel about your own family. It's just...I wanted you to stay, so I decided to act selfishly for once in my life, hoping it'd work. Clearly, it only made me seem like an idiot. So I apologise, Ezi. You're a great person. And if you want to go home, I'll let you go. At the end of the day, I just want you to be happy."
When Harry finished, he glanced up, hoping to see some kind of reaction, but Ezili didn't know how to react. So she just sat there, staring back at him. His fingers stopped stroking her hand, and she could feel him hesitate, not sure if he should add something or stay silent.
This was it. This was the perfect opportunity to tell him the truth. He had accepted to let her go. What else did she have to lose? When she returned to the queendom, it was most likely her mother would have her memories erased, because no siren was allowed to keep that much knowledge of the human world. So she would forget about his face and everything they'd gone through together. She'd forget the alphabet and anything else about humans. She'd forget that she'd ever been sad.
"Kiss me," she whispered.
Harry was just as taken aback as she was. He had expected her to say something more meaningful. But honestly, she had too much to say that she didn't want to. She just wanted to pretend that she could keep these memories of them with her when she returned home.
Harry didn't speak. He cupped her face and leaned in. His lips were soft and cold against hers, and she felt heat pooling at her chest and face before spreading to the rest of her body. Her hand rested on his shoulder then slowly slid down to his chest. She felt the vibration of his violent heartbeats against her palm as they kissed. Her heart was beating just as hard for him now.
"God, I missed this so much," he said softly against her lips as he lay her down on her back. He started kissing her neck. She felt constricted in the dress, so she reached back to unzip it. He was on his knees on top of her, eyes wide in awe. But before he could question how she'd got so bold, she pulled his face down and pressed their lips together again.
The room was hot. Sweat dampened his forehead. She helped him out of his shirt and trousers, until the only thing keeping them apart was his boxers and her underwear.
Her entire body was on fire now. Her inner thighs had grown sticky, and she needed him more than ever. They were grinding against each other to relieve some tension, but it only made her more desperate. She didn't know what to do, but her instincts were telling her that she needed to do something. Every fibre in her body was yearning for him. And he knew it. They had never crossed this line because he'd said he'd only have sex with her if he loved her.
Now he looked into her eyes, his green ones gleaming. And he said in a low raspy voice, "We can stop if you want."
She shook her head. She didn't know what she wanted, but she didn't want to stop.
He kissed her harder, as if he'd been hungry for it for so long. Meanwhile, his hands clumsily pushed down his boxers. His cock sprang free, dripping with precum. She knew the terms from those erotic novels she'd read in the bookshop when her boss wasn't around. She'd had to shut her thighs and tried to ignore the wetness in her panties as she imagined those scenes happening to her.
Now it was certainly going to happen, and she didn't intend to stop it.
He was hard against her thighs, smearing precum all over them. She lifted her head to look. It was red and swollen and it looked painful.
Still, the look in his eyes was soft and caring when he asked her again if she was sure. She nodded fast, one hand on his shoulder, the other tugging down her panties.
Harry swallowed hard when he saw how wet she was. She let out a squeal as he lifted one of her knees and draped it over his shoulder. Then, he went right in with his tongue, slurping at her pussy like it was the best meal he'd ever had.
She was squirming beneath him, grinding against his face. She had missed this so much since the last time they'd done it. She wanted to feel it again, that overwhelming pleasure like riding on the tallest waves and crashing down, diving deep. She was close, then he stopped.
She lifted her head and was about to scream at him for it, but he silenced her with his lips, letting her taste her own juice.
"Trust me," was all he said.
And she did trust him. So she lay back down as he kissed her neck and removed her bra. His eyes darkened when her chest was exposed. She liked that he stared at her naked body like it was the most beautiful thing he had ever seen, that it left him completely speechless.
She smiled at him, and he did too. She watched him get up and almost begged him not to, because she could still feel her heartbeats between her legs. But then she realised that he was just reaching for the drawer in the bedside table.
He opened it and grabbed a small pack. She watched him tear it open with his teeth. It was a round yellow thing that looked like a balloon before you blew it up. But Harry didn't blow it up. He put it on the head of his rigid dick and started rolling it down until it was wrapped tightly around his dick.
This part was never in those books she'd read. She was about to ask, but it seemed like her puzzled expression had given it away.
He tried to hide a grin as he said, "So I won't give you babies."
She put two and two together and nodded. "But would our babies be fully human or would they be fishes?"
The question caught him by surprise, and he burst out laughing. He tightened his fist in her hair and kissed her hard, his tongue asking for entrance and she opened her mouth wider, welcoming him.
"God, I love you so much," he said and echoed the words so much when his fingers found their way between her legs.
He inserted one at first, and then two. She was losing her mind and couldn't return the kisses when he started moving his fingers in a strange rhythm that made sense to her body. The way it reacted to him was insane. It was like her body had a mind of its own. She didn't know how she knew, but she knew how to move her hips so that the pleasure intensified. Her mouth was agape, and the sounds that escaped were something she would hear in a porn film.
He mimicked her expression unconsciously, his eyebrows furrowed, and his lips parted. She thought he looked so attractive.
He moved his fingers faster and deeper. And the feeling she'd felt before he'd stopped before started building up again. But as soon as she felt herself close to the edge, he withdrew his fingers.
Numb and dazed, she watched him use his hand that was now covered in her juice and start stroking his dick with it.
"It might be a bit painful at first," he said. "I'll go slow."
She nodded and bit her lip, bracing for it. But it wasn't pain that she felt when he pushed the head in. She nearly screamed because it stretched her out so good. Her head was tossed back and her eyes fought to stay open because she didn't want to miss out on his heavenly face reacting to her. Her body started squeezing him and sucking him in. One push and they both groaned when he was all the way in.
She had wondered how he could fit his massive cock inside her little body, but it just worked perfectly. It was like her body was made for him, and now that they'd found each other, she didn't ever want them to separate again.
The feeling was out of this world when he began thrusting, one hand gripping the headboard, the other on her hip. She placed her hands on the back of his neck and watched his muscles bunch and flex when he moved. Beads of sweat were trickling down his chest, and she just wanted to kiss his salty skin, but she was too busy reminding herself to breathe otherwise she might pass out.
All of her efforts to keep it in and make it last longer went down the drain when he slipped one hand between their bodies and started rubbing her there. This time, he didn't slow down, and didn't intend to stop. She let out a sob and it hit her hard. All she could see was white behind her eyelids. He kept on rubbing until she squeezed her legs, but his hips were in the way. She felt it again, this time shaking with pleasure.
Harry then let out a loud growl into her neck, muttering her name over and over again as his body shook and his dick twitched aggressively inside her. She kept squeezing him until he slowed down and eventually fell limp on top of her. He kissed her lips weakly, and her vision began to clear. The air tasted of salt, and now that her body temperature had cooled down, a cool breeze coming from the window made her shiver.
Harry rolled off her onto his back, then wrapped her up with his duvet and gathered her into his arms. She rested her ear against his chest and felt his heartbeats thumping in her head.
A second ago, she'd been so overwhelmed with pleasure, and now when the room was quiet, and Harry started stroking her hair, a wave of sadness crashed over her. She started crying.
Harry heard her sniffing and quickly lifted her face. His expression hardened. "Did I hurt you? Why didn't you say anything?"
She shook her head and sat up. He did, too.
"Ezi, what's wrong?"
"I must tell you something." She wiped a single tear from the corner of her eyes and composed herself. Gripping the duvet at her chest, she couldn't look at him. "I haven't been honest with you from the start. I don't know if you could ever forgive me but–"
"Just tell me. You're scaring me."
He put his hand on her leg as she swallowed the lump in her throat.
"It wasn't a coincidence that I ended up here."
"What?"
Slowly, she lifted her eyes. His face was filled with confusion now.
"I'm on a mission, Harry," she said, her voice weak. "In order to become Queen, I have to bring back the heart of a human man who's in love with me."
Harry's eyes grew wide.
"It was supposed to be you, Harry. But I...I fell in love with you, and now I can't take your heart. But if I didn't come back, there would be consequences. So I'll go home tonight and present the pig's heart and hope that it'd fool my mother."
There was a moment of silence before Harry turned away. He put on his boxers and his shirt, leaving it unbuttoned as he stood by the bed, a hand on his forehead.
Suddenly, his lips spread into a weird smile.
"Ezi, you're joking, right?"
Ezi wished she'd been joking.
She shook her head and watched the smile fade on his face. Had she made a mistake by telling him the truth?
He blinked hard, as if the information had just been processed in his brain. Suddenly, he took a step back. She watched his face and her heart sank. He had never looked at her this way. Not even the day they'd first met in the cave. He hadn't seen her as a monster then, but right now he was looking at her as if she was a hideous beast with two heads and breathed fire.
"That doesn't change anything–"
"Yes, it fucking does, Ezi. What. The. Fuck?" He lost his balance and slumped into the armchair behind him, his shirt still undone. She was going to stand up and rush towards him, but quickly realised she was still naked, so she stayed there, holding the duvet up to her chest with one hand, the other reaching out to calm him.
"I'm still Ezi. I won't let anything bad happen to you."
"You just said you were supposed to take my heart."
"Yes. Past tense." She roughly pushed herself off the bed, stumbled headfirst, clumsily grabbed a random t-shirt lying on the floor, and put it on. Harry was still sitting there like a statue. Blood had drained from his face.
"Look." She crawled to him and was now kneeling in front of him. He flinched when she rested her hands on his knees. She tried not to let the look on his face get to her, but she hated how he reacted to her touch.
"I was supposed to get your heart," she began, nervously, "but I gave up a long time ago. I won't. I'll leave tonight, and–"
"That doesn't make me feel better, Ezi!" he exclaimed, startling her.
She watched him bury his face into his shaky hands. After a few seconds, he slowly lifted his eyes. They met hers, his lashes wet. "It was all a big lie?"
Her heart sank. She only stared back at him.
He tried to steady his breaths, but could not do so with his voice. "You set me up. You didn't save me from the storm, did you?"
Silence.
"You made that happen so I would take you with me."
Silence.
She couldn't look at him now. Her eyes fell onto her fingers, which turned white as she dug them into her thighs.
"Answer me, Ezi," he demanded, his voice rough.
She hesitantly nodded.
He exhaled into his palms, eyes squeezed shut. "So, why did you wait that long? Why didn't you kill me straight away?"
"I needed to make you fall in love with me," she said, at last, meeting his alarmed gaze. "But I failed anyway. You don't love me."
"I just told you–"
"I don't feel it in here." She pressed her palm roughly against his chest. His back hit the backrest of the armchair with a thump. She felt his heartbeats accelerate. "I've ripped out so many hearts, and yours feel just the same. Mother said that when a human loves you, you'll feel it."
"That's bullshit."
"Is it? If you did love me, you wouldn't be screaming at me now and calling me a monster."
Harry laughed, almost angrily, as he shoved her hand away. "Love isn't just one emotion. You know nothing about humans."
"As if you know anything about love."
Harry's eyes widened in shock. "Are you seriously blaming me? You fucking tried to murder me."
"I'm a terrible person, yes, but you lied about loving me."
"I never lied. I loved you before I found out you'd been lying from the start."
"Past tense?" She scoffed, pulling back, hands limp on her legs. "Your love expired in five minutes?"
"You tried to kill me!" He screamed. "How am I supposed to react? Sure, maybe it wasn't love, but it was something. Because I truly cared about you, fuck, for a second, I was even thinking about a future with just us and Chilli. But this fucking changed everything. Because it seems like the girl I fell for does not exist!"
Slowly, he shook his head, looked away, hand rubbing his chin harshly.
"You know what?" His voice was heavy and gruff now. She feared what might come next.
"You're worse than a terrible person, Ezili."
Her breath caught in her throat. She couldn't move.
"Because you're not a person," he went on anyway, mercilessly. "And you'll never be. You don't know what it's like to love someone, to care for someone. Maybe you're not so different from your sister."
Of all the terrible things Ezi had imagined he would say, she hadn't expected this. His words bruised her more than punches would. And for a second, she wanted to lunge at him and tear open his chest, because he didn't deserve her putting his life before hers. But the part within her that loved him rose above, and suddenly, she felt ashamed and stupid.
She pushed herself up from the floor, her knees trembling. When she started putting her dress back on, he just sat there with his head in his hands. No more words were exchanged between them. And when she headed to the door and paused, he didn't even look up. He stayed where he was. Maybe that was his way of saying goodbye.
Parts of her believed she deserved this reaction for lying to him. But some other parts of her refused to think she was what he'd said she was. She was more than her sister. She wasn't her mother's little monster, either. And she knew she was doing the right thing.
"Goodbye, Harry," she said in a whisper and shut the door on her way out.
End of chapter 15.