Tej was fine until Sunny walked off the balcony and back into the living room. Even then, she was okay until Logan brought trays of grilled meat into the kitchen for serving. Then she was alone with Joe, and the easy camaraderie and conversation they'd shared earlier suddenly shrivelled up.
She struggled to find something to say as he lay more burgers and steaks on the grill. So much had happened since she and Sunny went home last night, both of them raw and sensitive like exposed nerves, that she didn't know what to address first.
It amazed her that while the others were reacting to a murder and taking Joanie in last night, she and Sunny were pretending they hadn't just had sex with other people. They'd made love to each other as she'd promised, but it had felt contrived, obligatory, as if both of them were doing it to reassure the other they were okay, and maybe they'd needed to, but it wasn't because they'd wanted each other any more than they usually did. Sunny had worked extra hard, as if he was trying to prove something to her, and that was what she'd feared would happen after that night, when all she'd really wanted from him was to be in his arms, to feel him against her, pressing her into the mattress, skin against skin. That was one thing she hadn't gotten with Joe, simply because he was too large; he would have smothered her if he'd been on top, and as a result of their mainly right angle positioning there hadn't been that same sensation.
Maybe that was for the best, because just his being inside her had been enough to give her wild fantasies of a life with him, riding him every night, never mind that both of them already had spouses and children. That was the danger of last night; sex could never be completely separated from emotion, from marital love, and the more often they engaged in it outside the marital bond, the more that bond frayed. All she had to do was look at Joe as an example. He and Lauren had nearly split from their straying, and even though Al had been the main culprit, Joe's dalliances with Joanie had to have strained them to the breaking point as well.
Now Joanie was here, or at least she'd moved into this townhouse, after two months where everyone thought her arrangement with Joe was over, and Tej was feeling irrationally jealous about it. "So," she ventured, "this is going to be an interesting set-up, Joanie here with Agnes and her family."
"I know," Joe said. "The two women in Patrick's life, brought together by his death."
She stared at him a moment before saying, "I heard she called you after we left last night. You were the one she went to when he died."
Joe shrugged. "Yeah."
"You must be pleased."
Joe blinked in surprise. "Pleased?"
"I mean, she's back in your life again. You were devastated when she started dating Patrick."
Joe opened his mouth to say something, then closed it again. Then he said, "I'm not entirely sure she's back in my life. We haven't really talked about it. She's in mourning right now, and we're helping her."
"Of course, sorry, I didn't mean to sound crass."
Joe smiled faintly at her. "Don't worry, I know what you meant."
"Would you... like her back in your life?"
Joe squirmed and said, "Well, I mean, it's complicated. Certainly I want her in my life as a friend. Lauren does, too. As for the rest, well, that's up to her to decide."
"I take it you're not going to tell her about last night."
He barked a laugh and said, "Not if I want to keep my testicles. Anyway, she's already angry at Rachel. I don't want her angry at you too."
"Right. Because you and Rachel..."
Joe flipped the burgers and steaks, then turned back to her. "Are you having second thoughts about last night?"
Startled by the directness of the question, she stammered, "Well, no, I mean, we did what we did knowing full well what we were getting into. I don't regret the experience. But, like you said, it's complicated."
"Is it ever. I had a great time--"
"Me too," she said, a little more enthusiastically than she'd meant to.
"But if Joanie decides she wants me back, I don't think I can hurt her again by repeating the experience, as nice as that would be."
"Right. Of course. And I think, if I express too much enthusiasm around Sunny for another go with you, it would hurt him too, because, you know, he's well aware how big your..."
She stopped herself before she said more, feeling heat rise to her cheeks. Joe smirked at her and said, "No, I don't want to hurt Sunny either. He's my best buddy."
"Good," she said, a little too brightly. "So, we're agreed, it was a great, but regrettably singular, experience."
Joe chuckled and said, "We're agreed. So resolved. Motion carried."
She burst out laughing and punched his arm playfully. This would be a good time to leave the balcony before she said anything more, like, but what if we found ourselves alone with no one to catch us? Because she wanted to ask that question, to see if he really wanted her as much as she wanted him, but she didn't want to leave herself open to rejection, she wanted to just appreciate everything she already had and not reach for more.
Two things happened to make her departure unnecessary: Logan reemerged on the balcony to help Joe cook, and Joanie's truck pulled up to the curb outside the townhouse. Tej watched her climb out, the red-haired giantess who'd apparently captivated Joe on his own wedding day, and felt herself wither like a flower out of water. She wondered how Lauren could have ever let Joanie in, ever opened her marriage to her, just so she could keep seeing Rachel; the bargain seemed unfair. Joanie was so formidable, so opposite to Lauren in so many ways. Could Rachel really give Lauren what she needed to make the exchange worthwhile?
She looked through the balcony door to Rachel and remembered last night again, this time when she was in the shower with her and Sunny. In reality, she'd had two lovers during that wonderful hour, because Rachel had brought her to orgasm while Sunny watched, and that had been an entirely new experience, seeing the lust in her husband's eyes. For both of them, sure, she wasn't a fool; she knew Sunny had just fucked Rachel by that time, and having Rachel's hands on her after they'd been on Sunny was a mixed bag of ecstasy and pain, an experience she'd need a long time after to work out. In any case, the woman knew how to please, and maybe that was why Lauren wanted to keep seeing her, but Tej knew it was more than that. The two loved each other in a way that went beyond anything Tej might have felt for the two of them, as much as she liked the sex she'd had with them. She felt almost like an amateur compared to them; they seemed like pros in the way they could compartmentalize their feelings. Maybe it was just safer not to play the game.
Cheers greeted Joanie's arrival, and Tej stepped through the balcony door to watch the woman enter the living room like a returning hero, carrying her uniform on a hanger.
"That was an awesome speech, Joanie," Lauren said.
Joanie's face fell. "Oh. You watched it?"
"Of course we watched it! I wasn't going to miss it for the world!"
"Joanie gave a speech?" Tej asked.
"In her role as media relations officer for the detachment," Sunny said. "Since Patrick worked out of the Langley detachment, they wanted to give an official word."
"You threw down the gauntlet," Rachel said.
Joanie shrugged. "I was just reading from a teleprompter."
"Yeah, but we could feel your fury coming over the airwaves," Al said. "You sounded like you were going to reach through the TV and throttle the perpetrators yourself."
Joanie barked a laugh. "Yeah, well, part of that was being pissed off at being made to come in and do it, and another part was seeing all the looks I was getting from my coworkers. I'm sure they all know by now that we were dating."
"I don't envy you," Agnes said charitably. "From my experience, police officers gossip worse than a sewing circle, but they'll rally around you when your back's against the wall. That's what they did for Patrick and Heather back in Kelowna, if what the Mercers told me is true."
Joanie looked around to make sure no children were listening in, then said, "Patrick did more than just have an affair with that woman, didn't he. If you say his fellow police officers rallied around them. They helped him cover something up."
Agnes closed her eyes and took a deep breath. "All I can say is that it's likely he did, although it's nothing I can prove on my own. The police in Kelowna are investigating."
Joanie nodded. "And that's the reason for this retribution, which would seem outsized for an affair."
They couldn't say anymore about that, because the kids had come into the kitchen to grab dinner. Instead, Tej said, "I heard you're staying here until the media lose interest in this story."
"Yeah, well, I bought a bed and moved it in here," Joanie said, "but if the police release Patrick's house in time, I might move there for a short time so Agnes can have this place for herself and her family."
"Is this because we're worried whoever did this to Patrick might target his family?"
Joanie nodded. "Once this is all over, I think I'll move that bed back to my house; it's bigger and newer than the one I have right now."
"But aren't you worried they might go after you instead if they find you there?" Tej asked, because she thought somebody should.
"We discussed this earlier," Lauren said. "She has a death wish to take them on."
"Could the RCMP set up a trap for them, maybe?" Tej asked. "Maybe keep the place under surveillance while you're there?"
"We'd need to have the cooperation of the New Westminster Police," Joanie said. "Even then, I don't know if we'd have the resources to do a twenty-four seven surveillance."
To her surprise, Tej said, "Well, look, I'm not always showing properties. I know where the house is. Why don't I stake it out when I'm free?"
Everybody turned to her, Joanie frowning, Lauren with raised eyebrows, Rachel with a smirk, Al with a tender smile. Only Sunny shook his head. "No, absolutely not," he said.
"Why the hell not?" she asked.
"These men are dangerous."
"They have no idea who I am."
"I don't know," Joanie said. "If these guys were smart, they'd have left the Lower Mainland by now. The police have basically called them out."
"Then I'll be risking nothing, won't I." Tej didn't know where this bravado was coming from. For some reason, she felt the need to appear to Joanie as a capable and courageous person. She didn't want to examine that reason too closely.
"If you do this," Lauren said, to her surprise, "you'll need to know how. I can give you pointers."
Now everyone was looking at Lauren. "Are you serious?" Rachel asked her.
Tej was suddenly irritated. "Why is it the rest of you get to do risky things like doing surveillance, wrecking cars and putting your bodies in harm's way while I have to stay at home with the kids and hear about it later? I'm free, I know the area and I feel like I can help."
They all looked uncertain.
"Am I a member of the LSDC or not?" Tej demanded.
"Of course you are," Sunny said. "I'm just worried for your safety, that's all."
Tej crossed her arms. "And how do you think I felt when you went gallivanting off with Naira Sandhu to get yourself shot?"
"She's got you there, Sunny," Lauren said. "Agnes, will you let us know when the police release the house to you? By that time, Tej, I'll have trained you up and you can start."
"And by that time," Joanie said, "I'll be living there and keeping an eye on things when you're not there. Maybe the police will put their own surveillance on it, and you can fill in the gaps."
Tej felt excited, now. "Okay! Let's do this!"
"Before we do," Al said, "Let's get dinner."
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To see how Agnes and Joanie negotiate each other while sharing a home that isn't theirs, and a conversation that is illuminating for both of them, click on "Continue reading."