i wrote this during ramadan so leo's going to reference the month a few times. for the sake of this chapter just pretend it's still ramadan
also this chapter contains a lot of internalized aphobia and has a character have a mental breakdown soooo yeahhh if you don't want to read that, just read the second section and read the part of my note at the end that's underlined
enjoyyyyyy (please do this was one of my favorite chapters to write even though i had really bad writers block for a while and erased and rewrote it like 80 times...)
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Minnie was sitting on a park bench reading a book because she was bored and it was nice out.
And she wanted some peace and quiet from her chaotic friend group.
She was reading Loveless by Alice Oseman since Aries seemed to love it so much and forced her to read it. Like he actually spammed her on every social media platform and in their private chat every single day with "READ LOVELESS" but in various spelling mistakes.
I relate to Georgia so much. Like maybe too much... maybe I'm aroace, Minnie thought and shook her head. Nah. Can't be. I... I can't be, right? I'm not aroace. I... I will fall for someone at some point. I will. I won't die alone.
"MINNIE!" someone yelled. Minnie jerked her head up and saw Aries running to her. Scorpio was trailing behind in annoyance. "You're finally reading Loveless!"
So much for peace and quiet, Minnie thought. "Yeah, I am. I figured that would be better than you murdering me for not reading it."
"So do you like it?" he asked and sat down next to her.
"Yes, actually," Minnie said. Scorpio finally reached them and plopped down next to Aries.
"Aries decided that going on a walk is good and forced me to come," Scorpio said, crossing his arms.
"Did not! I said you could stay home if you'd like to but you ran after me once I exited to house," Aries said. "Not my fault."
"Damn, Scorpi. Your crush is worse than I thought," Minnie said. Aries slapped her arm and Scorpio rolled his eyes as she laughed. She'd never admit it but she was glad these two were providing her a distraction from her thoughts. "Come on. You can't deny it now. You won't even sit on a bench right outside your house because you hate the outdoors so much."
"Not true! I've done so plenty of times. I just don't want to when you're around," Scorpio said, crossing his arms.
"Or anyone but Aries," Minnie said, to which she received a glare. "Anyways, Loveless is really good. Georgia's really relatable. I'm... not aroace though." She looked down and said quieter, "Definitely not."
Aries and Scorpio exchanged glances and Aries put a hand on Minnie's shoulder. "Anything else?"
"I love Pip and Rooney's dynamic. Sunil's amazing. And Jason too. Usually I'd say never trust someone with a J name, especially a cishet guy with one, but Jason can be the one exception," Minnie said, looking back up at them. "They're all super chaotic."
"Can we talk about something not related to that book? I don't understand anything that's going on," Scorpio said.
"You should read it then," Aries said.
"You really shouldn't have said that, Scorpi. Now he's going to stalk you until you read it," Minnie said.
"Dammit," Scorpio mumbled.
"I'm never going to leave you alone," Aries said.
"Well I am. Goodbye losers," Minnie said. She got up and walked away, to the other side of the park, before Scorpio and Aries could bother her again.
Once she got away, she was alone with her thoughts again. She forgot about those. "Fuck," Minnie muttered and slumped down next to a tree. She opened her book and tried to read it without thinking again.
Turns out reading a book with a main character who feels the exact same as you is kinda overwhelming. She shut the book and closed her eyes. Minnie, why aren't you dating anyone? she heard her mom say. Minnie groaned and put her head on her knees.
"Shut up," Minnie muttered, closing her eyes. Who would date her? "Shut up," Minnie said slightly louder, shutting her eyes tighter. She'll never get married if she looks and acts like that. "SHUT UP!" she yelled and snapped her head up and her eyes open.
Everyone looked at her weirdly and Minnie looked around. Fuck, she thought. She scrambled up, grabbed her book, and ran out of the park, towards her house.
Fuck my mom. I don't need to get married to be happy, Minnie thought as she ran.
Right?
꧁♥︎꧂
"Candy!" Leo yelled from outside Cancer's house. "Open the door!" She got up and opened it. "Hey."
"Hey," Cancer said. "To what do I owe you the pleasure?"
"I'm bored. And you're my favorite person," Leo said and bent down to kiss Cancer's hand. She blushed and snatched her hand away from Leo. She looked away to hide the blush.
"All right, all right. You can come in," Cancer said. They both went inside and sat on the couch. Leo laid her head on Cancer's lap and they sat like that for a while.
"FBI, OPEN UP!" someone yelled from outside. Cancer rolled her eyes. Seriously, my friends are actually incapable of just knocking or ringing the doorbell.
She opened the door and standing there were Aqua, Pisces, Gem, and Cap.
"Hey," Cancer said.
Leo walked out to the entrance. "Are we doing a GNB meeting without Minnie? Because that's kinda mean."
"We didn't know you were here, so no," Cap said.
"I'm always here," Leo said.
"She's reading in the park to get away from us because we're 'annoying'," Gemini said, using air quotes.
"Honestly, that's fair," Leo said.
"Aries and Scorpio ended up bothering her though," Gemini said.
Pisces chuckled. "Of course they did."
"You know you don't have to stand at the doorway the entire time, right?" Cancer asked, still holding the door open.
"Right," Aqua said. The three entered and Cancer closed the door. They all went to the living room and sat there in silence for a minute.
"Who likes eggplants?" Pisces asked randomly. Everyone looked at her like she was a lunatic. "What? It was too quiet for my liking."
"You really gotta think about the shit that comes out of your mouth," Aqua said, shaking her head.
"All I did was ask who likes eggplants! I don't see what I did wron- oh. I DIDN'T MEAN IT LIKE THAT, YOU DIRTY-MINDED SWINES!"
Gemini wrapped their arm around Pisces's shoulders. "You should've expected that, sweetie."
"I know, but maybe your dirty minds can stop while I try to break the silence," Pisces said.
"This is coming from the person with the dirtiest mind," Aqua said.
"Actually, there are definitely people out there with dirtier minds than me," Pisces said.
"True, but you've got the dirtiest mind in the group," Aqua said.
"Whatever do you mean, Aquarius? I have a very holy mind," Pisces said, blinking innocently. Aqua rolled her eyes.
"When we were like, 13, and these kids were learning how to play bowling and the person said 'put your fingers in the holes so you get a good grip' and you said 'that's what she said'," Aqua said. Everyone gaped at Pisces.
"13 is a very normal age to have a dirty mind!" Pisces defended.
"So you admit to having a dirty mind."
"I knew I had one, I was just kidding."
"Okay, okay, let's talk about literally anything else," Cancer said.
"Fine," Pisces said.
"Who wants food?" Aqua asked. "There's cookies, chocolate, ice cream cake-"
"ICE CREAM CAKE!" Leo yelled. "I'VE BEEN CRAVING IT SINCE FOREVER!"
"Ice cream cake it is. Who wants to come with me to pick up the cake?" Aqua asked.
"I'll come," Cap said. The two of them left, so Pisces, Gemini, Cancer, and Leo were there by themselves.
"You two," Cancer pointed to Pisces and Gemini, "do not light anything on fire, or I will light you on fire." She looked at Leo. "You too."
Leo gasped. "How dare you! I thought you were in love with me."
Cancer blushed. "What? Who gave you that idea?"
"Myself," Leo said.
"Well, I'm tired of y'all so I'm going to sleep," Cancer said, getting up.
Leo grabbed her hand. "Please don't leave me with them, Cancy. I don't think I can handle it," she said dramatically.
Cancer let go of Leo's hand. "Leo, this isn't some drama. You'll be fine."
"Yeah, Leo. You love us, don't you?" Gemini asked.
"Not really, no," Leo said. She stood up and hugged Cancer from behind, whispering something in her ear. Cancer's face turned tomato red.
"LEO! OH MY FUCKING GOD!" Cancer yelled and pushed her away.
"What did you whisper!?" Pisces asked.
"That's for us to know, and for you to guess," Leo said. She looked at Cancer and touched her arm. "So what do you say?"
"I'll stay, I'll stay, I'll stay," Cancer said, putting her face in her hands and sat on the ground, her face still red.
"I feel like we should ship them," Gemini said to Pisces.
"5 steps ahead of you," Pisces said, pulling out her sketchpad from god-knows-where.
"WE GOT THE FOOD!" Aqua yelled as she threw open the door.
"That quickly? Damn," Leo said.
"Don't ever let Aqua drive," Cap said. "Like ever. She almost killed us."
"I did not," Aqua said.
"You did," Cap said.
"Just give us the food," Gemini said and grabbed it out of Cap's hand.
"I am so glad it's nighttime," Leo said. "So I can eat."
The five dug into the ice cream cake.
"This is so fucking good," Pisces said.
"I knowwww," Leo agreed.
"I kinda feel bad for Minnie... what's she doing now?" Gemini asked.
꧁♥︎꧂
Now you can't show your face at that park ever again, Minnie thought as she ran.
"MINNIE!" she heard Aries yell. Minnie ran faster. She did not want to see her friends when she was on the verge of a mental breakdown.
"MINNIE, SLOW DOWN! I CAN'T RUN!" Scorpio yelled from farther away.
She heard someone's running get closer. Definitely Aries.
He grabbed her arm and stopped her. Minnie almost fell but Aries caught her. "Minnie. What happened?"
Minnie stood up properly and took a deep breath, trying to control her breathing if not her heart rate. "Nothing. I just wanted to run." She tried pushing him away and running, but she really ended up lightly touching him and walking past. Aries followed her.
"Come on, Min. Please tell me what happened," Aries said and put a hand on her shoulder.
Minnie flinched at the contact and pushed his hand off. "Don't touch me," she snapped, then quickly put her hand on her mouth. "Sorry."
"Don't be sorry," Aries assured.
When Scorpio finally caught up to them, he put his hands on Minnie's shoulders and asked, "What's wrong?" in such a serious and worried tone that Minnie and Aries were both caught off guard. He was still recovering from running, but somehow kept a steady tone while asking.
"Nothing. I just... wanted to get away. From people," Minnie said, keeping her voice steady. "I'd really appreciate it if you'd let me go home."
"We'll let you go home," Scorpio said and dropped his arms from her shoulders. "Only if you let us come too."
"No," Minnie said, crossing her arms. "I wanna go by myself." She continued walking and let Aries and Scorpio follow anyways.
"You need love in your life."
"Have you found the Mickey to your Minnie yet?"
"I can't believe you're 18 and still haven't dated anyone."
"It's getting concerning, Minnie."
"What do you mean, you've never had a crush before? Everyone has! Who is it, maybe Scorpio? He's cute isn't he?"
"It's so weird how you're friends with so many pretty people and you don't even have a crush on one of them."
Voices swarmed in Minnie's head to the point where she couldn't take it anymore. Luckily, she reached her house by then. She took a deep breath and turned around. "Happy, you two? Can you leave now?"
Aries walked up to her. "No."
"What do you mean, no?" Minnie asked. They were getting on her nerves. "Just leave. You're so fucking annoying." She stomped into her house and locked the door on them. Unfortunately, both Scorpio and Aries had a key and opened it again.
"Min, the last time you acted like this, it was right after your mom- oh," Scorpio said. He walked in front of her and Minnie looked down. "Did she say anything to you? I swear to god, she will be hunted down and killed if she mentioned anything about how you look again."
"No. It's... it's not her," Minnie said. A lump formed in her throat but kept swallowing it in hopes it would go away. "Not entirely..." she said quieter.
"What is it?" Scorpio asked.
Minnie blinked away her tears. "It's dumb. It's... it's nothing. I don't know why I'm... so upset by it."
"If you're upset about it, it's not dumb," Aries said.
"It is. It's really dumb. You'll... you'll probably laugh when I tell you," Minnie said, trying to keep her voice steady, but failed.
Scorpio hugged her. "I promise we won't laugh."
Those words just set her off. Minnie started sobbing. "I'm sorry... I'm sorry..." she repeated over and over. Scorpio patted her back and Aries joined their hug.
When Minnie finally calmed down, Scorpio carefully brought her over to the sofa.
"Water?" Aries asked. Minnie shook her head so the two sat on either side of her.
"Wanna tell us what happened?" Scorpio asked.
"I... I don't know. There's no... no actual reason. I just... Georgia, in the book, is aroace, and I... I think I might be too," Minnie started. Aries and Scorpio nodded. "And... my brain just started... started reminding me of my mom saying stuff about how no one will... love me because I look and act like this. And... I know it's dumb, but I just..." She sighed. "I don't know..."
Aries hugged her. "Not dumb. Not dumb at all. Your mom's an asshole."
"Your mom is an asshole," Scorpio said.
"Please don't tell Gemi any of this. They love our mom and she loves them and I don't want to ruin their relationship," Minnie said.
"Why not? Gem should know this. They'll definitely take your side," Aries said.
"That's exactly the problem! I've ruined too many of Gem's relationships because of me merely existing. One of Gem's boyfriends hated me for no reason, and when Gem found out, they broke up with him. They were so sad after. They never showed it, but I could see it in their eyes. And it was all my fault. For existing," Minnie said. "Sometimes I wonder if life would be better if I didn't exist."
"No. No. You're not going to think that. I love you," Scorpio said. "I might not say it very often, but I do. You are not going down that suicidal rabbit hole I did."
"Yeah. We love you very much, Min. We need you," Aries said.
Minnie smiled weakly. "Thanks. I love you guys too."
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sooooo this was my attempt at depressingness
is it ok? i know im not great with emotions so idk if it's good or not...
if you skipped the first and last section, basically minnie's reading loveless by alice oseman, she finds out she might be aroace, her mom's voices echo in her mind saying she'll never be loved and shit, she kinds has a mental breakdown, scorpio and aries comfort her, and thats pretty much it. comment if you read the sections and i missed something
anyways im going to talk about minnie's scenes now
i relate to her so much
even though im confident in identifying as aroace, it's hard sometimes. people judge you. they tell you you're too young to know
i know minnie's older than me, but it's still a problem with aroace adults. they might not say it like "you're too young to know" but maybe "you'll find the right one at some point" or something like that
as an aroace person, i understand im in one of the more privileged communities in the lgbtq community bc im not in danger of getting murdered purely bc im aroace, unlike trans people or gay people. but i wanted to bring attention to the problems aroace people face
theres a misconception that aro and ace people dont experience any discrimination. while that might be true, we're still judged. the lgbtq community likes to erase us, say the a is for "ally" for some goddamn reason. my own sister who's also queer told me that im too young to know and should keep my options open. and it really hurt, especially coming from another queer person. im sure if i told her im a lesbian or something she would've been like "omg that's so cool". this is not saying in any way that lesbians don't experience discrimination, but the queer community likes to do this often. erase us
anyways sorry for ranting and hope you liked this chapter :) this is one of my favorites