12. Be patient
I was ringing Eevi's and Olli's apartment's doorbell. They are going to Oulu for couple days to see they're families. Also they got their puppy two days ago, and Eevi asked me to take care of it until they come back. They didn't want to take it with them, he's so small and because of the vaccinations it's better for him to stay. Also to get to known to his new home.
Eevi came to open the door for me, smiling she let me in while explaining that she wrote some instructions down. And when I took my shoes off and placed my stuff on the floor she told me about the foods and stuff.
I walked further and then the cute little puppy came to see me excited. I kneeled down.
"Hi Figaro, you're too cute to be true." I said smiling while petting him.
Eevi giggled while Figaro was licking my hand, so I took him in my arms and stood up. His dark brown eyes were so cute.
I walked further to the apartment and saw Olli walking out from their bedroom with two bags.
Eevi and Olli had some eye game going on, like they tried to speak through it. I found it a bit weird, but the little puppy in my hands got my attention back, so I walked to the couch and sat on it.
Those two were whispering something, and then the doorbell rang.
Figaro got a bit scared so he almost hid his head to my armpit. Olli walked to the door, while Eevi looked a bit nervous.
"Are you waiting for someone?" I asked frowning. She didn't respond. I heard some talking from the hallway.
Then Olli walked back, followed by someone familiar.
"Oh great." I only sighed quietly when I saw that the other one was Joonas. He just stood there, crossing his arms against his chest. His eyes met with Eevi's, then Olli's.
"We thought it would be better if there would be two people to take care of Figaro." Eevi then said while her gaze wandered between me and Joonas.
We didn't say a thing first, he hasn't said anything yet.
I saw how Eevi watched Olli with a strict look, like she wanted him to say something as well. Olli cleared his throat and scratched his neck.
"Yes. It's.. uhm.. like you two would replace me and Eevi.. it wouldn't be so confusing to Figaro.. I think." Olli just tried to say something. But anything what he said didn't make any sense. I saw how Eevi tried not to laugh, she had to turn around and pretented to look outside from the window.
"Yes, because Figaro definitely thinks that me and Saga are like you two. Is he blind and doesn't have sense of smell?" Joonas frowned to his long time best friend.
"Is he also deaf?" I continued and Joonas pointed his finger towards me and kept that eye contact with Olli.
Apparently Eevi got herself together so she turned around and watched us all smiling. We all stared at her, Olli probably waiting for her to make an better explanation.
"Look! You already agree on something, that's a good start. We have to go now, have fun and focus on Figaro. We'll come in two days, don't worry!" Eevi started to talk while leading Olli towards hallway with all their bags.
"Wait! Are you guys really leaving us here? We can't sleep here together." Joonas spread his hands while turning around to watch his friends to leave. I was just rolling my eyes on the couch, petting Figaro while he watched this mess confused, he listened very carefully everything.
"What? You two have slept in the same apartment before, probably at the same bed!" Eevi said serious, I just sighed and I heard how Olli gasped.
"You have? What! No one has told me." Olli said confused, but he didn't get any answer because Eevi already closed the front door after them.
Now it was silence, only me, Joonas and this puppy.
Slowly Joonas turned around, put his hands on his jeans pockets and made his way to the big couch, sitting far away from me.
"You can go, I can handle this alone. Let's just tell them when they come back that everything went fine." I suggested, not even looking at Joonas. Figaro got bored in my lap so he jumped off and took small steps towards Joonas, waving his tail.
I started to play with my rings again.
"So you think that we can't act like adults and talk about things?" He questioned. Slowly I turned my head to his direction, I saw him petting Figaro.
My gaze wandered around the apartment, I didn't answer, my other leg started shaking.
I didn't even notice that, but Joonas probably did.
"Have you seen that man..?" He dared to ask after that long silence. His tone was cold. I turned to look at him confused, why he cares?
I saw him looking at me under his eyebrows quickly before he focused on that puppy again.
I haven't seen that man after that night, and I will not see him again. I saw it in his face that he wanted me to say that, or he hoped that it would be the truth.
"And you care because..? I'm not asking about your woman you had then." I answered with the same tone he had. His jaw got tense, he bit his teeth together.
When Figaro got bored again, Joonas landed him on the floor, he went to get some water from the kitchen. The tension we had was huge. We couldn't be ourselves right now, we couldn't relax. Everything between us was just pure tense.
Either of us didn't know what to do next. Will he answer, or will I continue? Or will we stay silent.
Then he took better position, turning fully to face me. But we still had that distance, it seemed to be a good thing. We both had more space to breathe and think. He licked his lips, scratched his head and then he finally talked.
"She's my friend, not my woman. And of course I care. I don't want that some random man at the bar is touching you and.. jesus he kissed you!" He explained, now his voice was weaker. I turned my gaze away from him.
"So? I think you have kissed many women in your life, and had one night stands. So why my situation is not acceptable?" I frowned while I looked at him again. He just swallowed and rubbed his eyes.
"I.. maybe.. well, yes. But I don't want to be that guy anymore. And.. you can do whatever you want. I don't blame you about anything, I was just.. worried." He answered to me, he didn't have any eye contact with me now. Then he stood up and walked to the kitchen to get some water for himself.
I stared his every movement, how he took an clear glass from the cabinet, placed his left hand on the faucet and I heard how his rings slightly hit it.
Then he turned it on and put his couple fingers under the running water until it was cold enough, then he put the glass on there and soon it was full of water.
Then I saw his eyes landing on me while drinking and I looked outside the window.
"You said my friend is a whore..." He was mumbling before taking the last sip of the water.
I bit my lip.
"I was drunk. I didn't mean it." I responded quietly. I felt his eyes on me, he didn't make any movement.
I saw with my side-eye how he placed the glass down and then started to walk towards me, Figaro walking happily behind him.
"I know. You don't mean stuff like that." His words were another confusing reaction to me.
Slowly I turned my eyes on him, now he sat a little closer. Figaro was running around with one of his toys.
I slightly gave him a smile, but frowning still. His blue eyes were scanning my face, he put his other hand on top of the backrest.
"You don't know me. I might mean stuff like that, but to people who deserves it."
He smiled a little bit, it clearly was a smile of pleasure. He scratched the back of his neck while looking at Figaro that was near us. Then he moved those eyes back to me.
"As I said, I would like to know you. I don't want things like these ruin it. It was childish from both of us that night." He talked with lower tone.
I bit my teeth together, then I licked my lips while looking my hands.
All the words were spinning around in my head, I didn't know how I would make a sentence out of them.
My mouth opened, and closed. A couple of times.
He was waiting for my answer, he didn't have any hurry. Of course we didn't have, we would share Olli's and Eevi's house for the next couple days.
"Just.. be patient with me." I looked at him. He didn't make any move, it was silent. But the smile he had didn't disappear that easily.
Then carefully his hand moved towards me. Towards my shoulder. He poked it couple of times, but not with force.
"I will. And remember, I never lie. And I never betray anyone. You can be fully yourself with me." He smiled. I smiled to him back, nodding relieved.
Then the little puppy Figaro started barking in front of us while we had another silent moment.
We both looked at it and then we looked each other again.
"Who wants to go outside?" Joonas asked with high tone from Figaro and he kneeled to the ground, I just chuckled.
"Shall we go together?" Joonas hinted. I just gave him a nod and then we both stood up, almost crashing to each other. We both just gave each other small smiles and then continuing our way to the hallway, Figaro leading us excited.
But still I was feeling scared, what if something irreversible will happen?
Something.. like what happened to my mom.
No. I shook my head and took a deep breath silently.
He's not that kind of person, I just know it. But the voice keeps telling me that everything will change now. I had the feeling too. But it wasn't a good feeling.
I had gave a permission for a guy to know me. Know all my darkest thoughts and what has happened to me.
There's no turning back.
Well hello my dearest readers!
A new chapter after a while. Those who doesn't follow me and read my 'conversations' thing, I got sick again a few days ago. I've had a high fever and still I am fighting against it. Sometimes I feel better, then worse again. I had to visit the doctor and all...
But I hope that all of you are doing good <3
So thankful to you of reading this story, leaving votes and comments, they make me happy!
Sending a lot of hugs, ily🖤