Emiko still had her eyes closed when she suddenly felt the familiar smell coming from the kitchen - it was freshly brewed green tea.
'It's good that it's not a coffee, because in the presence of Johan, my blood pressure rises enough...' She thought ironically, but in addition to this one smell, another began to join... As if something... something sweet...? She began to smell it carefully.
'Ch...' She swallowed loudly. '...Cheesecake!?' After that last thought, she was mentally at a loss for words. The girl felt as if the whole universe had started to joke at her expense. Throwing away memories of her surreal dream, she knew that only her parents and close friends knew about her love for this cake. But she also didn't believe in any coincidences in which Johan might have been involved.
What's going on here?
For a moment, absurd thoughts started to flood her mind. She looked at the bouquet of white roses still standing on the bedside table.
'He... acts like...' Due to the recent events that have happened, she couldn't deny that he treated her differently from others. Of course, when Johan explained to her why he had imprisoned her the previous day, she dismissed it as one big mockery. But now she was beginning to realize that there was more truth in these words than she might have guessed before.
"...it would be interesting to spend some time together..."
Still stunned by it all, she shook her head to throw out his voice out of there. Yet his softly spoken words lingered in her as if they were a strong, unbreakable spider's web.
"...Nice to know that in my presence, you have dreams where you smile..."
She moaned, feeling incredibly embarrassed. It couldn't be... It was just... too weird. Wrong in every way possible. However, all the pieces in this puzzle were starting to fit together more and more...
'...Why me?' She remembered the murders that her brother was wrongly accused of. 'God, he could have anyone...' How much effort and funds did Johan have to invest to learn all these things about her? '...Whoever he would like to have...' Even the fact that she and her brother had gotten the "privilege" of taking his life, didn't appeal to her. 'That persistent, sadistic fanatic...'
She almost felt grateful when the young man returned to the room, distracting her from the thoughts that were inexorably on the way of unraveling this dark mystery.
"What could I do for you, so that we can end this circus and to let me go? As far as I can see, you're clearly not going to kill me." The young man cocked his head slightly to the side, watching her. His lack of response was nothing but sheer madness that started spreading through her body again. "Tell me so we can finally get it over with!" Despite the earlier decisions, Emiko felt that she was losing control over herself again, and anger wasn't an appropriate reaction to be able to confront the monster.
"Not sulking like a little child would be a good start." Johan suggested, then gave her a gentle look. It was adding oil to the fire that now burned in her veins.
'YOU...'
"If your goal is to break me, know that you will fail!" Young Tenma clenched her fists, finally concluding that she had had enough of it all and it was right time to put an end to it.
"Is it a challenge, Emiko?" One corner of his lips curled up in a dangerous, but at the same time, some kind of oddly cute smile.
"Indeed it is."
"In my life I have seen many broken people, Emiko." Johan stared at the wall behind her, but it felt as if he was looking at a very long distance. "People who had lost all their humanity, people who wanted nothing but death, people who..." His cold gaze returned to look straight into her eyes; or even not so much as into her eyes, but straight into her heart and pierce it right through with deadly icicles. "You Emiko... you would not be so easy to break. Moreover, I will not let that happen - no, until you kill me with your own hands and then you can look at me. Aah... you will understand yourself. But now..." Johan finished eye contact, leaving her heart still frozen. "Let's go eat something."
He slowly walked over to the bed and released her knots, then left the room. The young woman had no doubts that Johan expected her to follow. She sighed and followed him into the kitchen. There weren't enough words to express how much she wanted to finally solve this case to the end.
****
The young man maneuvered around the kitchen, pouring tea, washing fresh strawberries and cutting pieces of cake into a plate, and the longer Emiko watched his movements, the more she realized that they were simply unnaturally elegant. All his movements were performed in order to fulfill specific tasks and achieve the intended goals. At one point, she realized that when she was staring at him so intensely, he noticed it.
She quickly turned her head and started to stare at the wall. The man silently placed the mug of tea in front of her and walked away, and the girl instantly picked it up, trying to focus her thoughts on drinking a few sips. Surprisingly, the taste of the tea was perfect. Ah, he knew. Of course. In despair, Emiko started staring at the tea grounds floating at the bottom of the cup.
"Why me?"
"Do you really find it so absurd, Emiko?" Surprised, she jumped up in her seat, almost spilling her tea on the table. She hadn't realized she had said it aloud. She grabbed on a dessert fork a piece of cheesecake and made a sincere effort to focus on its taste rather than on Johan's voice, which came at a fairly close distance, because the man was sitting in the other chair, next to her. "That was a question." He suggested her gently.
"Johan." Emiko sighed, slowly chewing her piece of cake. "I'm not interested in talking to you. Unless you want to discuss how we can end this..."
"You surprise me." Johan was certainly not the person to drop the subject so easily. "Did you not even consider that you might just interested me? Do you really think so unfavorably of yourself? Or do you think I am devoid of any human reflexes? And all this from a woman who came to a foreign country without knowing what would happen to her, and endured all these difficulties while conducting her own investigation, only to find and help her brother? Really..."
"W-wait!" The young woman protested, catching the bait and looking directly at him.
'Do you HAVE TO sit so CLOSE to me?'
"I don't think of myself that wa-... You just seem to always stay away from anything human."
"Oh? And you are inclined to believe me, instead of finding the truth on your own, as you have been doing so far?" Emiko shook her head grimly. No matter how far she went, Johan seemed to be there long before her, waiting to grab her and spin her around until she finally lost her sense of direction altogether.
"Why don't you just tell me what you'd like to hear." The girl suggested wearily. "If you're not interested in a real conversation."
"Do you want a real conversation?" The young man put the teaspoon which he had just stirred the tea, on the edge of his plate. "All right. What is your favorite musical artist?"
They stared at each other for several long seconds - she with her mouth open, was stunned by the rather impressive randomness of the question, and he was staring at her face. It was as if his eyes were absorbing her, more and more, with no way back, into this infinite blue...
After some time, Johan unexpectedly burst out laughing. Kenzo's sister was still staring at him, speechless. It was the second time she heard this laugh. A laugh that wasn't ice-cynical but real, and she felt that this sincere gesture vibrated inexplicably throughout her body... The young man was right - she could never quite believe that he was completely soulless, even when it came to his worst criminal deeds. It was just against her nature. She finally managed to see it all differently.
'There is still something of human in him...' she thought.
"It is hard to please you, Emiko." The young man noticed almost cheerfully, reaching for another piece of cake. "Fortunately, not when you dream about something nice." He added under his breath, as if he was talking to himself, but loud enough for her to hear. She closed her mouth immediately and turned her head as she remembered the dream after which she had a fit of laughter... and in which she kissed him. She quickly picked up one strawberry and began to eat it immediately, realizing that the color of her face was not much different from it. The very range of feelings the Monster caused in her was indescribably embarrassing and terrifying at the same time.
"Why don't you know what my favorite music artist is?" She had to say something. Anything. If only to forget about this dream as soon as possible...
"It does not look like you have ever shared this information with anyone. So why do not you share it with me?"
'Or maybe just shut up and leave me alone.'
"There is nothing particularly interesting about me." She replied, swallowing the last bite of cake, hoping that the sooner they finish this meal, the sooner Johan would go away and leave her alone. Or at least she hoped so.
"I do not agree with that." The man reached for the bowl of strawberries and began to put them on his plate. "Let's have a look. At first you were bullied by children from the neighborhood during your childhood, but after a while you were defended by a boy from the neighborhood. Instead of letting him protect you, you asked him to teach you to fight, and so you became stronger, being able to protect not only yourself but others as well. In high school, when this boy was teased at school because he got into a few fights earlier and everyone turned away from him, you stayed with him and talked to everyone who was just starting to talk badly about him. When one day some boys attacked you by the river, you both defeated them, so they didn't come closer to you anymore..." Emiko listened to his words, stunned. He knew her past with terrifying precision. She swallowed hard. "...Later you found out about Dr. Tenma being chased by the police. You did not hesitate to come to the other end of the world, only to help him and solve this investigation on your own, even though you did not have any friends here, nor did you know the country at all. And even though it's been so long, you still haven't told your brother that you are here and that you are doing it for him. I find it all quite interesting, Emiko. Even though you are an intelligent person, it seems to me that, like Dr. Tenma, you have a talent for making quite strange decisions in life that led to you ending up here, eating this meal with me. Am I wrong?"
Johan watched her face carefully, the shadow of a smile on his lips, and the young woman felt her throat go dry. Both his arrogance and his accuracy in arguing were far beyond human reasoning.
"If I ever need advice on how to arrange my life, I will definitely apply to you!" She hissed, not hiding her dissatisfaction. Knowing so many details about her life made her feel embarrassed and irritated at the same time.
Emiko was well aware that some of the decisions she made might seem ridiculous to others, and sometimes even to herself. But she always tried not to look at the past, because there were things there that couldn't be changed... Suddenly, she noticed the sound of the clock on the kitchen counter ticking, counting down the passing seconds, which was reaching her ears.
'What now? Will you start laughing? Or maybe...'
Johan got up from the chair with a sigh and headed for the kettle.
"Let me tell you something interesting... now that you know that I did not grow up with my biological parents." The man started unexpectedly, and the girl focused her attention on him again. "As far as I know about my past, my father was dead long before I was born. As for my mother..."
The young woman watched as he began pouring water into his cup, but wasn't entirely surprised about such an unexpected topic of the conversation. After all, there is a limit to the amount of stupefaction one person can experience in a single day.
"...There are certainly things I do not quite remember. But since it looks like I am going to live a little longer, thanks to your and Dr. Tenma's lack of determination, I am going to find it out." Johan put the kettle back on the gas stove and sat down next to her again. Emiko took her mug in her hands and took a few sips, and realized that it worked well for her - it helped her to focus on processing the new information, instead of what the Monster said about her past.
"Are you going to the Czech Republic?" After saying these words, she realized that questioning him so directly could lead to unforeseen and possibly highly undesirable consequences. Let's start with the fact that she didn't want to talk to him at all. She carefully looked at that flawless face turned towards her and, oddly enough, the young man was smiling.
"I have never doubted in your intellectual abilities."
"Is your mother... still alive?"
'Why am I even asking him about it?'
The man stirred with a slow motion of his hand his new portion of the tea, then put the spoon back on the saucer.
"I have been wondering for a long time why you haven't spoken to your parents in Japan since you came here." Instead of answering a previously asked question, all she heard was another information he had learned about her. Was it so much fun for him to look at humiliating her and recalling unwanted things from her past? "Is it because only you believed in your brother's innocence? Or maybe because you still haven't managed to prove his innocence to the police? Or maybe..."
"JOHAN! It's not your business! I..." Emiko felt as if the Monster was tearing her of the most painful and hidden feelings that she wanted to hide from the world the most. 'Do you really enjoy such things?' she thought, biting her cheek from the inside. The young man stared unmoved at the contents of his cup, gently rubbing its surface with his fingers.
"...Or maybe it is because you never had a good contact with your mother, who did not understand what you really needed since you were a child? She did not understand your feelings and did not even try to understand them..." He raised his head and looked into her eyes, in which apart from the mask of happiness and overcoming obstacles encountered in life, you could also read the pain and despair that had been hidden inside for a long time. "It must have been painful." He added in a low voice.
Emiko felt as if a blunt blade had been stuck straight into her heart, re-harming a wound that had been scarred long time ago. She realized that despite her best efforts, her eyes grew moist. She bit her lip and turned her head, blinking her eyelids several times, to chase away this sadness and pain as far as possible, and then lock them in the farthest depths of herself and never let them get out again, no matter what situations she might face in life.
"That's right, Johan. Even a lot. So much so that it still hurts. Anything else you would like to say? Maybe about my childhood? My high school? Family? Or maybe you can tell me something about your childhood? Or more about your real family?" Even though her hands were shaking, she looked up and looked straight into his eyes without hesitation. The man caught that gaze, and for a long moment they stared at each other in silence, after which, Johan smiled in an unexpected way - the speech in his eyes showed... understanding?
"It looks like we both were not very lucky with our mothers." Emiko frowned, not understanding what he meant; at the same time she felt somehow strange. It felt as if it was a genuinely sincere confession about that side of his past that she didn't know yet... She wondered how to react to it, but she couldn't find any suitable words...
After a moment, Johan broke the lasting silence.
"You know, Emiko..." He began, slightly closing his eyes. "As for the foster parents, every time I lived with another family, on the one hand I thought it would work... You know, sometimes it seems that it is enough to deceive yourself..." The girl looking at him without saying a word, quickly figured out what he wanted to say.
She felt her heartbeat become incredibly heavy and overwhelmed as she refused to hear what she was afraid to hear the most.
"...until you realize that you can't... and that you were actually aware of it from the very beginning."
'Despite so many people you have met so far..." Young Tenma felt that something choke her throat. 'You've never met someone who would be able to fully understand you and fill the emptiness you feel... That's what you want to tell me, right?'
Johan's eyes were on hers again, and it felt as if she had been swallowed by these monsters from their depths in one gulp. Amazingly, it wasn't even that painful. Emiko knew very well what it meant to experience loneliness. No matter how much she tried to deceive her that it didn't affect her.
In her childhood, when she hadn't yet met Ren, the kids from the neighborhood always teased her and she spent her time alone. In high school, she also had problems with her peers... Even since she came to this country and met so many people, she was still lonely because she couldn't find her brother. But, when she met him, she didn't reveal to him who she really was...
"Emiko?" She stared helplessly at the monster, ready to accept another humiliation from him. Instead, however, the man's face lit up in a reassuring smile, and it worked for her, almost like an antidote. Johan changed his facial expressions as easily as other people are changing clothes - when he wore the right one for the moment, it suited him as perfectly as if it couldn't show anything else. "While I enjoy being in your company, I will have to leave you again soon." He sighed softly. "But first, I want you to do something for me. Come."
The girl followed him, feeling as if she was sleepwalking. After returning to the room, the man opened the drawer of the dresser standing in the corner of the room.
"Here." Despite all her bewilderment, she was still able to feel a faint surprise within herself. "Draw something for me." Johan handed her a sketchbook with a hard back cover and a pencil.
"Hn...?"
"Draw something for me." No matter how well she tried to prepare, HE always found a way to surprise her with something completely unexpected. Unexplainable. Improper. Painful. Stunning. This image, like a kaleidoscope, showed something different each time, which could never have been predicted before.
"What...? Why...?"
"Before you came to Germany, you drew a lot, didn't you?" The girl shook her head.
"I can't just, so suddenly..."
"I am sure you can, if you try."
"I'm not that good."
"That is not what I heard about you."
"Johan, why..."
"Do you prefer us to spend time together differently, Emiko?" Johan smiled, showing a row of perfectly white teeth, which made her feel a shiver run through her entire body.
'"Us"? ' She quickly grabbed the sketchbook from his hands. 'Keep your hands off me, for God's sake!' She sat up on the bed pretty quickly and opened the sketchbook.
How she missed the feeling of paper under her fingers, how she missed the transfer of her thoughts and feelings onto the paper! Ever since she came to Germany, she has never done it so far.
'What should I draw...?'
The first thought that came into her mind, was Johan surrounded by white roses. Desperate, she shook her head violently to push this image out of her subconscious as far as possible.
"Did something happen?"
"I don't even know what I should draw..." Johan sat down next to her and smiled gently, turning his face towards her.
"You can draw me."
'WHAT?! No! I'm not gonna draw YOU!!' ...However, it was the only reasonable way out of this situation, instead of wandering around the room in search of something worth to be drawn, and it's very possible that it would expose her to further verbal taunts from him. 'Eh okay... why do I care...'
Emiko gripped the pencil tighter in her hand and began to slowly sketch, while glancing from time to time at the man sitting next to her, so as not to miss anything important. When she got down to work, she always did her best. Even if it often meant correcting one thing many, many times.
As she was drawing now, she began to reflect on the fact that she had never really allowed anyone to get so close to her. And fortunately, no one has ever tried so forcibly to get closer to her. Even Ren didn't know everything about her, even though they had known each other since childhood. She never liked to talk a lot about herself and share her feelings, so people, although they liked to spend time in her company, rarely made an attempt to deepen their acquaintance with her. There were things she never told Risa, Mika, or Ren, because although she had known them for many years, some of her thoughts remained closed to them. Not only for them. She didn't want to tell anyone about it.
'How crazy does Johan have to be to want to know ALL of me? Is it because he sees something of himself in me? Is that why he chose me to kill him? But he wants my Onii-chan to pursue him too... Is that why he is so attracted to us? My brother and I are the complete opposite - we both believe in good and still hope for a better tomorrow...' She looked at him again for a moment and saw that he was looking into the distance. That dreamy look on his face she'd seen before came back up again. 'What a beautiful face... If only I could get rid of that mask that hides his true feelings underneath... True, deeply hidden emotions... If I only...'
The girl's hand stopped and after a moment Johan turned his head towards her.
"I like your drawing, Emiko." He slowly focused his gaze directly into her eyes. "Especially this white roses around." The young woman looked down and saw that she was so engrossed in her own thoughts that she involuntarily drew them around his silhouette without even noticing it. She felt herself blushing.
'What am I even thinking about?!'
"Well... I'm glad you like it." She spoke softly, still not looking up.
"Really?"
"Nope." The girl smiled at him with a radiant smile, which made the young man chuckle. But it wasn't a mocking sound this time. Young Tenma looked again at the drawing in her lap and placed her hand on it, still holding the pencil, and still smiling. The cold and the heat unexpectedly mixed inside her together, leaving an inexplicably pleasant warmth.
'What is happening to me...?'
_______________________________________________________________________
THIS IS LOOOVEE BBY~
Excuse me everyone but I have to add sometnig to this part:
"(...)No matter how far she went, Johan seemed to be there long before her, waiting to grab her and spin her around until she finally lost her sense of direction altogether" - only one thing fits here:
🎵 You spin me right 'round, baby, right 'round
Like a record, baby, right 'round, 'round, 'round~ 🎵
(Yes, I had to write it :"D Song: You Spin Me Round by Dead or Alive)
See you in the next chapter!