✨Who is lying and who is not?✨
I open my eyes and smile at the scent of mint and vanilla. Nicks scent.
Wait, Nick's scent?
My eyes pop open and I look up at Nick staring down at me. He smiles and runs his thumb over my bottom lip "Mornin', Curvy." I feel a kiss on the back of my head and a whisper in my ear "Good morning, Lana."
Harvey.
My heart started sinking. I don't know why. In guilt? In sadness? In anger? I don't know. I turn around to Harvey staring at me with a smile. Nick presses himself against my back and runs his hand down my arm, stroking my skin gently.
They were the only ones that's were clothed but not me. Butt-naked under my sheets.
Harvey presses his forehead to mine with a smile glued to his lips "How does it feel to cheat on me?" There was no betrayal or anger in his expression. Just happiness. Nick answers for him "Really good, brother. Now you had a taste of how she feels on your cock. Don't you think she's a beauty?" Harvey chuckles "You couldn't be more right, Nick. She feels so good that I wanna push myself inside her at this very moment." Nicks gasps "Me too!" Harvey says "Don't you just love the little whimper she makes when she's about to cum?"
"I fucking do! She's a squirter, you know."
"Really? I need to find that out for myself."
"Shall we find out together?"
"Why not? I'd rather she cheats on me to my face than behind my back. Isn't that right, my little cheater."
Harvey roughly presses his lips to mine and suffocates me. When I push him, he laughs "Is that how you feel when I kiss you? Imagine my heart when you tell me that you're fucking my step-brother behind my back."
Wake up, Alana. WAKE UP!
I groan when I open my eyes. Coming down with a headache. It takes me a little while to take in my surroundings. I was still in Harvey's arms. Head to his chest. But he looked busy. Scrolling through his phone with his left hand, going through his emails, and typing too while his other arm is my support. He keeps his phone face down on his stomach and rubs his eye with the heel of his palm. Turning his head to me, he smiles "Hey, cheater." My eyes go wide "What did you just say?" His brows furrowed "I said, 'Hey, sleeper.'" He kisses my temple "You okay?" I nod "A bad dream."
"You wanna talk about it?"
Yeah, talk about it with him. With context? Ha! Funny.
I shake my head "No, I'd rather forget it."
I rather push my head through a concrete floor than tell him all about it.
I sit up and stretch my arms. Everything felt sore and tiring. My limbs felt like they were not connected with my body anymore. I felt him kiss my shoulder blade as he wraps his arms around me and pulls me closer "I'm happy, Lana." I smile "With me?"
"Yes, you." He pauses "I love you."
And there it was. The guilt was back. Twisting in my heart like a sharp knife, killing me from the inside.
Why can't I say it back?
I ask "What time is it?" I tap on the screen of his phone. I didn't know it before but it was a picture of me. From the pink dinner we went to get pancakes. I was smiling to the point my eyes were invisible, I smiled big. "You have me as your wallpaper?" He whispers "That's the clean version of it." My brows lift "The clean version?" He unlocks his phone with a Face ID and in the background, behind his apps, it's me with a freaking donut stuffed in my mouth. I whine "Not this one!" He chuckles and presses the side button instantly before I could grab the phone. He defends himself "I like it. It's my phone and I can put any picture I want."
"Yeah, well, that's my face."
"And you're my girlfriend." He kisses my cheek "Come outside. I bought pancakes and I know they're soggy by now. I'll heat them for you in a pan." He gets out of the bed with his phone and walks out.
I do as he says. Brush my teeth and come out in an oversized shirt that reached to my knees. With underwear. And my glasses on my nose. He flips the pancake in the pan and turns around "There she is." I raise my brow behind my glasses and he walks over to me, grabs my face, and squished my cheeks between his palms till my lips get puffy. He kisses my lips and says "The nerd that shot me in the heart with a Cupid's arrow." I snort "Cheesy." He smiles "I don't care." And then goes back to the stove. Putting the pancake on the plate and served it right to me with a side of Hershey's syrup and milk. I cut up the piece and offered him a bite and he just leans in, taking it from my fork.
He spoke with his mouth full "I need to run now. A last-minute thing came with Mr. Hutchinson about the deal." I nod my head because I knew how badly he trying to get it done as soon as possible. It was his way to save the people from losing their jobs "Want me to come with you?" He shakes his head "No need. I saw you limping on your way to the kitchen. Get some rest." He makes his way around the island and stands in front of me as I finish up the bite in my mouth "I would've planned a date for us tonight but I know I'm gonna be swamped in paperwork if the deal is successful. Which I hope will be. But I'll tell you though, okay?" I nod and l lift my fork to his lips with pancakes. He takes it in his mouth and kisses my lips "I'll call you. Bye." I couldn't say anything with my mouth stuffed as I watch him leave with his jacket over his arm.
And then I was left alone with the thoughts in my head. With that nightmare roaming in my head. Why am I guilty? That's because I just cheated on my sweet boyfriend with his step-brother. Nothing weighed me down more than the question in my head.
Was Nick lying when he told me he never felt guilty? Does he feel guilty even just a little bit with the thought that he took his step-brother's girlfriend's virginity away? Technically, he didn't take it. I gave it away. Willingly. Does that make me a monster? Yes!
I once thought that I deserved to be loved after Rick. I deserved to be happy. I deserved a man who will tell me that he's happy when he's with me. But that is all just fantasy. The truth is I don't deserve Harvey. I don't deserve his love, his kindness, his smiles, or his kisses. He's truly a man that I have dreamed of. Caring, compassionate. He's a man that checks everything off the list I created in my head. And if Nick wasn't here, if he was my past and had never met me again after seven years, would things with Harvey be any different? Would I be faithful? I don't know anymore. I'd like to think that I would be. But in reality, I'm worse than Rick. He never cheated on me. Ever. That much I can say with confidence.
I. Am. A cheater.
X
I paced back and forth in my room. Too embarrassed that I don't even want to speak to anyone about anything. There was some part in my brain that wouldn't let Nick go. And I had to. He has to go. I need to tell him straight to his face because if I don't, he won't stop. I know how stubborn he is. He needs to know face to face. But what if he tells Harvey everything? What if he uses it all against me? Do I even know Nicklaus? He is sometimes unpredictable. But I don't think he'd go over to the extent of hurting me. Right?
I shake my head and change into a pair of jeans and a black loose shirt. This is my time.
I walked to Jade's Library and picked up a book from the 'smut' section and went over to the desk where she has made white dust covers to cover the books with images that would be too embarrassing to be seen in public. I walk out, take my bag and walk out the door. And make my way towards the cafe downstairs.
Eating, reading, and resting always helped when it came to making decisions. So that's what I'm doing. I'm gonna read heavy smut to release the tension in my head.
I ordered a Cinnabon with my go-to salted caramel frappe -with whip cream and caramel drizzle- and sat at the corner of the cafe where the light was perfect for the book and where no one can sit behind me and watch over my shoulder at what I'm reading.
X
'He thrust into her as she screamed in ecstasy. He pounded into her hole and scrunched her hair, pounding nonstop as he growled in her ear 'Yeah, you like that. Don't you?' She nods while she screams his name and fondles her own breasts. Making her cum again and again till his black carpet was laced with her creamy white cum. And he wanted it more. Wanted to drill inside both her holes till he marked her insides that she was his.'
I read the smut with my leg crossed over the other. The straw was barely in my mouth. My eyes were glued to the pages, lost in them. My imagination ran wild as her werewolf mate marked the human girl as his. My heart beating fast that I almost convinced myself that it was caffeine and not the heavy smut I was reading.
I felt the couch dip beside me but I didn't put much thought to it until I hear him "Hi." I gasp and look to my left. Closing my book instantly. He raised his brow "Good book?" I gulp and say "What-" my voice barely came out until I cleared my throat "What are you doing here?" Then I wanted to facepalm myself because of the coffee cup on the table in front of me. The aroma of his black coffee hit me hard in my nostrils.
How can he ever drink such bitter things? Whisky, bourbon, black coffee- yikes.
I close the book and place it on my lap, my hand on it like a dog with a bone under its paw. He smiles and I notice how close he was sitting to me. His elbow propped on the backrest of this dirty yellow couch and the side of his head resting against his fist. "Is my face that pretty that you can't stop looking?"
Well, it is. But I'd rather not say that exactly. I clear my throat and decided to stay in his nerve-racking awkward silence between us. I did have a choice to say it all to him- about ending it all. Making him understand that I'm with his brother.
Step-brother.
He takes a sip of his bitter coffee and looks at the book "What is it so interesting about it that it has you on this couch with your legs crossed and red cheeks? I saw how you almost missed to put the straw to your mouth while I ordered coffee for myself." I shake my head with an awkward "Nothing. It's just a really good book on mental health. And I," I lick my bottom lip "was reacting at how good the author is in writing that I'm relating to it so well." He nods "Hmm, interesting. Care to share, Curvy?" I could've just walked out of this cafe but I stayed and I made up an answer "It was about how society still hasn't changed its ways. Yeah, that's what it was about. How women are still fighting for their rights for being... females."
What the actual hell am I talking about? After saying that out loud I need to apologize to women.
Sorry, women.
He calmly keeps his coffee on the table and sits straight and the next moment, the book is going from under my hand and right into his. He opens the page where I kept the bookmark and reads it with a lifted brow and a smile on his lips. I tried to reach to get it back, but he lays flat on his back. He knew I wouldn't climb on him to get to the book in the middle of the crowd. People were staring at him.
I hide my face behind my hands when he bursts out laughing. Reading it all. He grabs my wrists and tries to pull them from my face while chuckling "Yes, the women's rights to being pounded by men. Good book. Come on, look at me." He finally succeeds but I still have my eyes clenched as he holds both my wrists in his hand and the other angles my face to look at him. His voice was soft "Look at me." I open my eyes and he lets my wrists go but never removes his hand from my cheek. His laughter died and all that was left was a smile "I agree with the relatable part. I bet you could relate to that woman a lot, can't you? You know how good she feels in these pages. Hmm?" My cheeks burned the way he said it and my breathing hitched when he leaned closer "Do you not?" And I say the first thing that comes to my mind without even filtering it "I slept with Harvey." He stops leaning closer and his jaw clenched. His expression was rough. He clears his throat "Last night?" I nod and he sits back, not touching me anymore.
Is this it? Is this how I should do it?
He nods "Good, it's not like we're together. Whatever." And then he stands up and rushes out of the cafe.
THAT IS IT?!
I grab the book and follow him to the building as he climbs up the stairs. He knows I'm following but he doesn't say anything till we reach my floor. He abruptly turns around with a look of hurt and opens his mouth. No words though. His breathing is harsh through his nose and then he bursts "How could you?!" My eyes widen but I knew the scene we could create in the hallway. I try to stay calm and open my door "How could I what? Sleep with my boyfriend?!" He marches right in and closes the door behind "Even after everything I told you, Alana? Even after what I said yesterday?!"
"Well, what did you think? You left right after that." I promised I wouldn't let the other thing out but I did. I spat it in his face "I thought you didn't care as you were grinding with those twins."
"And you take that and make everything I said worthless?"
He was fuming with rage. He grabbed the edge of the island and bent, trying to find a way to ease his nerves, and then stands back straight, pacing. I finally say "Why does it torment you so much?"
"Why wouldn't it?! Do you think it's easy knowing that you're with him? The one person I truly and utterly hate in this world- you think I would be smiling about it? I hate it, Lana. The way you kiss him. The way you hold him. The way you smile at him. I fucking hate it all!" He stabs his chest with his pointer finger many times "Because I should be in his place. You should be kissing me. Holding me." He pauses "Even fucking me." He grabs my arms "He is not what you think he is. He is not a good guy. He wears a mask that you so easily fall for, Lana. Why can't you see that? I've been waiting with hopes in you that you will finally see it. That you will finally know. But he has blinded you with such ease like he has blinded everyone in my family!"
I had never seen Nick this angry. I've seen him drunk, I've seen him cry, I've seen him laugh, and smile. But never this angry.
His grip was hurting me and he didn't know until I let out a small whimper. His eyes widen when he realized and he stepped back instantly "Since I've been back, I have been waiting. He has a way to turn people against me. Like he has my mother and my step-father. So I've been waiting because I did not want you to look at me with hate in your eyes." My head felt like all the wires were crossed. I couldn't understand what he was even trying to say at all. I was confused to the point I wanted to cry.
I was ashamed to say that my voice wasn't strong enough when I said "What did he do to you that is so bad, Nick?" And that is what it took for him to shut his mouth close. Didn't even say a word after. Just looked at me as if he didn't expect me to question it.
I ask again "What did he do?"
Why are they so against each other?
•••••
Hehehe. Why do you think they are against each other?
Comment your theories and let's see who gets it right.
I'll see you in the next chapter soon.
Love, Hope
♥️♥️