Dean parked the Impala in front of a hotel called, The Elysian Fields Hotel. Outside the car, it was a downpour. Like raining so hard it was like were in a giant shower or something. "This is gonna suck." I grumbled. "Yeah." The boys said in unison.
We got out of the Impala, rushing to the trunk to grab out bags and dashing to the entrance. Sam burst through the door holding it open for Dean and I to run in seconds later.
We were completely soaked and gasping from escaping the rainstorm. "Whew." Dean said, as Sam wipes his hand through his wet hair, brushing it out of his face. We look around the lounge to see it looks pretty fancy, it even has a fireplace and everything.
"Nice digs, for once." Dean remarked, Sam and I nodded in agreement. We went up to the front desk and ordered a room. The front desk attendant with the name tag, Chad, types away at his computer. He glanced up at us, smiling then returns to looking at his screen as he continues typing.
"Busy night." Dean said. "Any port in a storm, I guess. If you could just fill this out, please." Chad said, pushing a piece of paper towards Dean. "Yeah." He replied, taking the pen and begins signing. "Sir, I think... Shaving nick there." Char said, magical taking out a tissue from his sleeve and handing it to Dean.
Dean takes the tissue confused and wipes it cheek, pulling it away to see some blood on it. Chad then holds up a key. "Your key." He said. "Oh. Thanks." Dean said, taking it. "Hey, you wouldn't happen to have a coffee shop, would you?" Dean asked.
"Buffet. All you can eat. Best pie in the tri-state area." Chad replied, gesturing to the right and Dean smirks at this. "You don't say?" He asked.
We enter the buffet hall, where Sam and I made a plate of food while Dean went straight for the pies. Sam and I sat down at a table, and I started eating while Sam instead went to typing on his phone. Dean arrives soon after and took a seat across from Sam. "Sam, unpucker, man. Eat something." He said.
"We should hit the road, guys." Sam said, not looking up from his phone. "In this storm? I-it's..." I started to say, and Sam looks up at us. "It's biblical. Exactly. I-it's friggin' Noah's ark out there, and we're eating pie." Sam said.
"How many hours of sleep did you get this week?" Dean asked him, and Sam sighs. "What? Three? Four? Bobby's got his feelers out, okay? We have talked with every hoodoo man and root woman in 12 states." Dean said.
"Yeah, well, I'm not giving up." Sam said. "Nobody's giving up. Especially me." Dean said. "I'm not either, Sam. We're gonna find a way to beat the devil. Soon. I can feel it. And we will find Cas, we'll find Adam. But you can't work yourself to burnt out." I said, and Sam sighs, shaking his head.
I took his hand and Sam looks at me. "You know, it's still okay to go on shore leave a little to clear your head and recharge. Stressing yourself out is not gonna do you any good." I said, and Sam nods. "Yeah. Yeah, okay." He said, putting his phone away. Sam smiles at me and brought my hand up to his lips to kiss it.
"(Name) right, man. Come on, we've actually got the night off for once. Let's try to enjoy it." Dean said, digging into his pie. I took my fork and stabbed one of the broccolis on Sam's plate, holding it up to his mouth.
"Now eat. It's good for you." I said, and Sam scoffs, rolling his eyes as he smiles. He open his mouth, allowing me to feed him the broccoli.
After eating, we walk towards our room, seeing couple making out in front of their room. Dean points and smiles. "Oh, what are you, 12?" Sam asked, and Dean scoffs. "I'm young at heart." Dean said, unlocking the door. We enter our room to see it was just as fancy as the rest of the hotel.
Dean whistles. "Wow. Look at this. We're like Rockefellers." He said, dropping his bag and walking between the beds. "Chocolates!" Dean exclaimed, snatching up one of the chocolates on the pillow of his bed.
Dean glances to Sam, who was looking around the room, suspicious. "You want yours?" He asked. "Knock yourself out." Sam replied, and Dean grins, grabbing the chocolate off his pillow.
I took a seat on the bed, preparing to take off my boots but stop when I felt how soft the bed was. "Whoa." I muttered, laying down while keeping my shoes off the bed. "These beds are so soft! It like sleeping on a cloud." I said, hugging my pillow and snuggling into it.
"Whoa. 'Casa Erotica 13' on demand." Dean said, holding up the card that was sitting on the nightstand between the bed. Sam scoffs. "What?" I asked. "Isn't this place... in the middle of nowhere?" Sam asked. "So?" Dean asked. "So what's a four-star hotel doing on a no-star highway?" Sam asked.
The woman next door, moans pleasurably on the other side of the wall and we could hear bed thumping and chuckling. Dean laughs and grins. I groan and covered my face with my pillow, to try and block out the sound.
Then I heard a loud thud that made me remove the pillow to see the brick wall of the room being smashed in from the other side, almost knocking the LCD flat screen television off the wall.
We went next door and entered the honeymoon suite. "Hello?" Dean called out. We saw the messy bed was empty with neither the man or woman in sight. "Hello?" Sam called out, checking the bathroom. I notice something on the floor and crouched down to see it was a large engagement ring. I pick it up, showing it to the boys.
We return to the lobby and went to the front desk. "The, uh, the room next to ours... t-the couple that are, uh, joined at the lips... have you seen them?" Dean asked. "Mr. and Mrs. Logan... the honeymooners?" Chad asked, and we nodded.
Chad types quickly on his computer. "They checked out. Is something the matter?" He asked. "They checked out?" Sam asked, confused."Mm-hmm. Mm, just now." Chad replied, smiling. "Really? It sort of seemed like they were, uh..." Sam said, then chuckles. "...in the middle of something." He said.
"Yeah, it's kind of weird for honeymooners to, uh, check out without this." I said, holding up the engagement ring. "Oh, dear. I'll just put that right in the lost and found." Chad said, taking the ring from me. "Don't you worry. Is there anything else I can help you with?" He asked.
"Uh, no. No, we're good." Dean said. "Super-fantastic." Chad said, smiling and we walked away. "Creepy." Sam remarked. "Broke the needle." Dean said. "All right, well, we'll scope out the place, and you keep an eye on Norman Bates over here." I said to Sam, who nods. "I mean, one night off. Is that too much to ask?" Dean grumbled, as we walk off.
Dean and I took the elevator up to the 2nd floor and walked down a hallway with our EMF detector. As we pass a room with it's door open, I saw an elephant holding a towel out of the corner of my eye.
We took a few steps forward then stop and backup to look again, seeing a man wrapping a towel around his torso. "This ain't no peep show, man!" He exclaimed, coming up to the door to shut it.
Dean and I stared at the door then look to each other. "You saw an elephant, right?" Dean asked. "Uh-huh." I said, nodding. "Good girl." Dean said, looking froward again and we continued down the hall.
Suddenly I felt something on my neck, like a scratch or a pinching feeling. I reach my hand up to my neck, feeling a fresh cut has appeared. I pull my hand away to look at the tiny drop of blood on my finger, frowning at it and getting a very bad feeling about this.
We return to downstairs to the lobby to meet up with Sam, who lost Chad. "An elephant?" Sam asked. "Yeah." I replied. "Like, an elephant?" Sam asked. "Like, full-on Babar." Dean said. "So what the hell is..." Sam started to say, but stop when we saw the lobby is completely empty. "Where is everybody?" Sam asked.
Sam attempts to open the lobby doors, but they weren't budging. "Let me guess... it's locked." I said. "So what... the roaches check in, they don't check out?" Dean asked. "Think about how we got here. That detour on I-90? The friggin' hurricane?" Sam asked, walking back over to us. "You saying we were led here?" I asked. "Like rats in a maze." Sam replied.
Looking around, we eventually stumbled into the kitchen seeing it's deserted as well. Dean looks at a pot that's bubbling. "Please be tomato soup. Please be tomato soup." He whispered, taking the ladle. Dean lifts ladle to reveal eyeballs and we all look away, disgusted. "Motel hell." Dean said.
Sam sees a freezer and walks slowly towards it. Inside we saw the rest of the hotel guests. "Help us! Get us out!" A man yelled, and Sam tries to open the freezer but it was locked.
Sam look at me and steps aside, allowing me to go up and crouch in front of it. "Aperiatur." I whispered, into the lock... but nothing happened. I frown and grab the knob, trying to open it but it was still lock. "What the hell?" I muttered.
"Don't tell me your magic is busted again." Dean said. "It's not, something's up with this door. I think..." I started to say, stopping when I turn around to look at the boys and saw three big guys behind them. "There's somebody behind us, isn't there?" Dean asked.
The boys and I were dragged into the Grand Ballroom by three men. Inside were well dressed people with name tags of different gods from different cultures. "Something tells me this isn't a Shriner convention." Dean said.
Chad now with the name tag Mercury, rolls a dining cart into the room. "Dinner is served." He said, removing the cover to show a human head with other human body parts around it.
I held my hand up to my mouth to keep from vomiting, while the guests applauses. A spotlight then turns on and shines down on the boys and I. "Ladies and Gentleman, our guests of honor have arrived." Baldur said, smirking at us.
The guests sat down at the table while the boys and I were seated in chairs in front of the table. Baldur clinks a fork to his champagne flute. "Ladies and gentleman, thank you for coming. Although in all my centuries, I never thought I'd see this. This many gods under one roof..." He said.
"Gods?" Sam whispered to Dean and I. "Now, before we get down to brass tacks, some ground rules. No slaughtering each other. Curb your wrath. Oh, and uh, keep your hands off the local virgins. We're, trying to keep a low profile here...." Baldur said to the guests.
"Oh, we are so... so screwed." Sam whispered.
"Now we all know why we're here. The Judeo-Christian apocalypse looms over us. I know we've all had our little disagreements in the past. The time has come to put those aside and look toward the future. Because if we don't, we won't have one. Now we do have three very valuable bargaining chips. Michael, and Lucifer's vessels, as well as the thing they care about most." Baldur said, pointing to us and boys and I glance to each other.
"The question is, what do we do now? Anybody have any bright ideas? Speak up. This is a safe room." Baldur said. Zao Shen stood up and spoke in a foreign language, I think Chinese. "Oh I don't like his tone." Dean muttered.
Ganesh laughs. "Kill 'em? What, so the angels can bring the back again?" He asked, making Zao Shen sit back down. "I don't know what everybody's getting so worked up about! 'Cause it's just a couple of angels having a slap fight! There's no Armageddon. Everybody knows, when the world comes to an end, the Great Serpent Jormungandr rises up, and I myself will be eaten by a big wolf!" Odin said, and laughs.
Zao Shen sighs, speaking in Chinese again. "Oh yeah? And why is that? Because your beliefs are so much more realistic? The whole world's getting carried around on the back of a giant turtle? Ha! Give me a break!" Odin said.
Zao Shen speaks aggressively in Chinese. "What are you gonna do about it?" Odin asked, and Zao Shen speaks again. "You watch your mouth when you talk to me, boy!" Odin growled, pointing at him. Zao Shen says something in Chinese again. "No one's ever proved that." Odin said.
As Odin and Zao Shen argue, the boys and I slowly and quietly moved out our seats and attempt to exit the room without being noticed. As we near the door, a chandelier falls in front of us with a loud crash. "Stay." We heard a new voice say.
We turn around to see Kali was now standing up. "We have to fight. The archangels... the only thing they understand is violence. This ends in blood. There is no other way, it's them, or us." She said.
"With all due respect, ma'am, we haven't even tried talking to them." Mercury said, and Kali stares at him and he begins to choke up blood. "Kali." Baldur said, getting her to stop from killing Mercury outright. "Who asked you?" Kali asked Mercury.
The doors to the Grand Ballroom open to reveal Gabriel. "Can't we all just get along!" He asked. Dean attempts to say 'Gabriel' but is cut off by choking on the word.
Gabriel clicks his tongue. "Sam. Dean. (Name)... It's always wrong place, worst time with you muttonheads, huh?" He said, walking over to us. "Loki." Baldur said, and Gabriel glares at him.
"Baldur." He said, slipping between us to stand in front of the Gods. "Good seeing you too. I guess my invitation got lost in the mail." Gabriel said. "Why are you here?" Baldur asked. "To talk about the elephant in the room." Gabriel replied, and Ganesh begins to stand, indignant. "Not you." Gabriel said, getting him to stop.
"The Apocalypse. We can't stop it, gang. But first things first." Gabriel said, then he turns to us. "The adults need to have a little conversation. Check you later." Gabriel said, he snaps his fingers and we appeared in our room.
The boys and I look around, bewildered. "Okay Did that.... Holy crap!" Dean exclaimed. "Yeah, tell me about it. By the way, next time I say let's keep driving, uh, let's keep driving." Sam said. "Okay Yeah. Next time." Dean said.
"Alright, so what's our next move?" I asked. "I-I-I... I don't know. Grab those poor saps outta the freezer, I guess? Bust 'em out? Gank a few freaks along the way if we're lucky?" Dean suggested.
"And when are you ever lucky?" Gabriel asked, suddenly appearing on the sofa, with his feet up on the coffee table. "Well you know what, bite me, Gabriel." Dean growled. "Maybe later, big boy." Gabriel replied.
"I should've known. I mean this had your stink all over it from the jump." Dean said. "You think I'm behind this? Please. I'm the Costner to your Houston. I'm here to save your ass." Gabriel said, getting up.
"You wanna pull us outta the fire?" I asked. "Bingo! Those guys are either gonna dust you, or use you as bait. Either way, you're uber boned." Gabriel said. "Wow, 'cause a couple of months ago you were telling us that we need to "play our roles". You're uber boning us! " Dean growled.
"Ohh... The end is still nigh. Michael and Lucifer are gonna dance the lambada, but not tonight. Not here." Gabriel said, walking over to us. "And why do you care?" I asked, and Gabriel pauses for a moment. "I don't care. But, me and Kali we, uh, had a thing. Chick was all hands. What can I say? I'm sentimental." He said.
"Do they have a chance? Against Satan?" Sam asked. "Really, Sam?" Dean asked. "You got a better idea, Dean?" Sam replied. "It's a bad idea. Lucifer's gonna turn them into finger paint. So let's get going while the going's good, hmm?" Gabriel said.
"Okay Great, why don't you just zap us outta here then?" Dean asked. "Would if I could, but Kali's got you by the short and curlies. It's a blood spell. You three are on a leash." Gabriel said. "What does that mean?" I asked.
"It means it's time for a bit of the old black magic." Gabriel said, then spritzes his mouth with breath spray. "Okay, yeah. Well, whatever. Well, we're gonna take the hors d'oeuvres in the freezer with us." Dean said.
"Forget it. It's gonna be hard enough sneaking you mooks outta here." Gabriel said. "They called you Loki, right? Which means they don't really know who you are?" I asked. "Told you. I'm in witness protection." Gabriel said.
"Okay, well then how about you do what we say, or we tell the, uh, legion of doom about your secret identity. They don't seem like a real pro-angel kinda crowd." Dean said. "I'll take your voices away." Gabriel replied.
"We'll write it down." I said. "I'll cut off your hands." Gabriel threatened. "Well then, people are gonna be asking, 'Why are you guys running around with no hands?'" I said, and Gabriel makes a frustrated face.
"Fine." Gabriel said, rolling his eyes then he smiles at me. "You're lucky I got a soft spot for you, hotcakes." He said, and boops me on the nose. I blink and stare back at him, confused.
While Gabriel visits Kali, the boys I enter the lobby as a man is heard screaming from the far side employee entrance. We quickly move out of sight as the two men drag one of the freezer occupants out into the lobby.
"NO! N-NO! NO! PLEASE! GAH!" The man screamed, as he is dragging onto the front desk, knocking everything off. I tried to move out of hiding to help him, but Sam caught me and pushed me back. "It's too late." He whispered. The man continues screaming until one of the men chops his neck with a cleaver.
We made it to the kitchen where the people trapped in the freezer screamed to be let out. Sam tries to hurriedly unlock the freezer with his lock pick, when Dean and I are grabbed and thrown across the room by Zao Shen, who grabs Sam by the neck, pinning him to the freezer door.
Zao Shen chokes Sam as he struggles to free himself. Dean and I struggle to move after landing on top of a metal shelving unit. Trying out a new spell, I press my hand to the floor and chanted, creating a trail of ice on the floor that ran all the way to Zao Shen.
Zao Shen slips on the ice and let's Sam go as he falls to the ground. Sam gasps for air and he slumps against the freezer. Zao Shen attempts to get up when Dean stabs him in the back with a wooden stake, killing him.
I crawl my way over to Sam on the ice. "Are you alright?" I asked, gently grabbing his arms and Sam nods, breathing heavily. "Where the hell is Gabriel?" Dean asked.
So our plan didn't work out so great, the boys and I were once again thrown into the ballroom, while Gabriel is seated in a chair in front of Kali. "How long have you known?" Gabriel asked her. "Long enough." She replied.
The boys and I were forced to sit down at the table next to Gabriel. "How's the rescue going?" Dean asked the archangel. "Well, surprise, surprise. The Trickster has tricked us." Kali said to the gods. "Kali, don't." Gabriel whispered.
"You're mine now." Kali said, taking a seat on Gabriel's lap. "And you have something I want." She said, reaching into Gabriel's jacket and removing his angel blade. "An Archangel's blade. From the Archangel, Gabriel." She growled, getting off him.
"Okay, okay! So I got wings, like Kotex. But that doesn't make me any less right about Lucifer." Gabriel said. "He's lying. He's a spy." Kali said. "I'm not a spy. I'm a runaway. I'm trying to save you. I know my brother, Kali. He should scare the living crap out of you. You can't beat him. I've skipped ahead, seen how this story ends." Gabriel said.
"Your story. Not ours. Westerners, I swear. The sheer arrogance. You think you're the only ones on earth? You pillage and you butcher in your God's name. But you're not the only religion, and he's not the only God. And now you think you can just rip the planet apart? You're wrong. There are billions of us. An we were here first. If anyone gets to end this world, it's me." Kali said, leaning over Gabriel to touch his face.
"I'm sorry." She said, and stabs Gabriel in the chest with his own blade. Gabriel screams, and in a flash of light, he dies. "This is crazy." Mercury muttered. "They can die. We can kill Lucifer." Kali said.
"All right you primitive screwheads, listen up." Dean said, standing up. "Are you outta your mind?" Sam whispered. "I'm outta options." Dean replied. Sam and I exchanged a look as Dean turns his attention back onto the Gods.
"Now on any other given day, I'd be doing my damndest to, uh, kill you. You filthy murdering chimps. But, uh, hey, desperate times. So even though I'd love nothing better than to slit your throats, you dicks, I'm gonna help you. I'm going to help you ice the devil. And then we can all get back to ganking each other, like normal. You want Lucifer, well, dude's not in the Yellow Pages. But me, Sam and (Name), we can get him here." Dean explained, walking over to a table to make himself a drink.
"How?" Kali asked. "First you let those main courses go. Then we talk. We can either take on the devil together, or you lame-ass bitches can eat me. Literally." Dean said, taking a sip of his drink.
Kali consider this for a moment. "Very well." She said, and Dean grins. "Alright, I'll be right back after letting the hors d'oeuvres out." He said, setting his glass down, about to walk towards the door.
"Not you. You're not going anywhere." Kali said, getting Dean to stop and look at her. Kali looks over at Sam and I. "She will let them out." She said, then looks back at Dean. "She's expendable. You. Not so much." She said, and I look at her offended.
"You worry I'm gonna runoff or something?" Dean asked, grinning slightly. "Let's say... it's in a Westerner's nature to do so." Kali replied, glaring down at Gabriel's body.
I freed the people from the freezer and ushered them out of the building into the parking lot. "Come on everybody! Let's go, let's go, let's go, let's go, let's go. Alright, alright, go, go, go! Get outta here!" I said, as everyone ran to the car, driving off.
"Psst! (Name)!" I heard someone whispered. I turn to see Gabriel sitting in the backseat of the Impala, with the window rolled down a little. "Don't look at me! Act natural. Get in." He whispered.
I got in the Impala and I turn to look at him. "You know, there is nothing natural about this at all. I thought you were dead." I said. "You think I'd give Kali my real sword? That thing can kill me!" Gabriel exclaimed.
"Then what do they have in there?" I asked. "Aaa fffake! Made it out of a can of diet orange Slice. So, uh, tell Dean to snag our blood, would ya?" Gabriel asked. "What?" I asked. "I heard him in there. Kali likes him. He can get close. Lift the plasma, then we vamoose." Gabriel explained.
"No. Hand over the real blade. Better yet, why don't you sack up and help us take down Lucifer." I said, and Gabriel moves closer to me. "You can't be serious." He said. "Deadly." I replied.
"Since when are you butt buddies with a bunch of monsters? That's all they are to you, aren't they?" Gabriel asked. "I know it's nuts but I stand by Dean. If it's the best idea he's got then that's what we're doing. Unless you have a better one?" I asked.
Gabriel pats the top of the front seat. "Well, good luck with that. Me? I'm blowing Jonestown. Those lemmings wanna run off a cliff, that's their business." He said. "I see right through you, you know that? The smart-ass shell, the whole 'I could give a crap' thing? Believe me, I put up with this enough from Dean." I growled.
"That so?" Gabriel asked, smirking. "Yes. And maybe those freaks in there aren't your blood but they are your family." I said. "They just stabbed me in the friggen heart!" Gabriel exclaimed. "Maybe, but you still give a crap about 'em, don't you?" I asked, and Gabriel looks down. "(Name)." He muttered.
"Now they're gonna die in there, without you." I said, and Gabriel looks up. "I can't kill my brother." He said. "Can't or won't?" I asked, and Gabriel doesn't give an answer. "That's what I thought." I sneered, opening my door and getting out.
I return to the ballroom where only Sam, Dean, Kali, and Baldur remained. "Show's over. Sword's a fake, and Gabriel, he's still kicking. I hate to break it to you, Kali, but you've been tricked." I said, and Kali stares at me stunned.
The lights in the ballroom begin to flicker. "What's happening?" Baldur asked, then screams could be heard outside the ballroom. "It's him." Sam muttered, and I look up at him worried. "How?" Kali asked. "Does it matter? Shazzam us outta here, would ya?" Dean asked. "We can't." Baldur said.
"Of course you can't." Lucifer said, entering the ballroom covered in blood. "You didn't say 'mother, may I?'" He said, his eyes soon locking onto the boys and I. I cling onto Sam's arm, terrified of the very idea that the archangel in front of us, might take him away.
"Sam, Dean, (Name), good to see you again." Lucifer said, and we back up as Baldur steps froward. "Baldur, don't." Kali said. "You think you own the planet? What gives you the right?" Baldur growled, but Lucifer stabs him, ripping him apart from the inside with his bare hand, killing him.
"No one gives us the right, we take it." Lucifer said. As Lucifer throws Baldur to the ground, Kali becomes enraged, engulfing her arms in fire which she throws at Lucifer, causing the boys and I to jump for cover behind an overturned table.
The flames dissipate revealing no damage to Lucifer's vessel. Lucifer hits Kali with an uppercut to the chin, sending her flying. "You okay?" Sam asked Dean and I. "Not really." I heard some say beside me, and I turned my head to see Gabriel right there.
"Better late then never, huh?" Gabriel asked, then he hands me a copy of Casa Erotica #13 on dvd. "Guard this, with your life, hotcakes." He said, before getting up and running out of cover.
Lucifer is about to stomp on Kali but is blown back through the ballroom doors by Gabriel, who stands, blade in hand. "Lucy, I'm home." He said. Lucifer stand up and walks froward, Gabriel gets in front of him, holding the blade up.
"Not this time." He said, and Lucifer looks at him, confused. Gabriel then picks up Kali. "Guys!" He said, and we got up out of cover. "Get her outta here." Gabriel said. We circled around Lucifer with Gabriel standing in front of us to keep his brother back.
"Over a girl? Gabriel really?" I heard Lucifer say as we made our escape down the bloody up hallway, that was like right out of the Gray Fox's hallway.
We exited the hotel walking out into the parking lot. "I'm not getting in that thing." Kali said, looking at the Impala. "Just get in the car, princess." Dean said, sharply.
Sam opens the door for Kali, then gets in the front passenger seat. Dean gets in to the driver's seat and I got in the backseat with Kali on the driver's side. The four of us drive off, leaving Lucifer to Gabriel.
The next day after dropping Kali off somewhere, Dean parked the the Impala on the side of the road. Sam took out his laptop setting it on top of the car and plays the DVD Gabriel gave us.
Cheesy porno music plays in background as credits scroll on a red screen. 'ALL PERFORMERS IN THIS FILM ARE OVER THE AGE OF 18, HAVE CONSENTED TO BEING PHOTOGRAPHED, AND HAVE PROVIDED PROOF OF AGE. 18 U.S.C. SECTION 2257'
CASA EROTICA 13
A woman wearing high heels and nothing but her underwear laid on her stomach on a hotel bed. "Dear Diary, being a high powered business president is super-fun. But sooo exhausting. Sometimes, I just need to relax. I need Casa Erotica." She said in a internal monologue. There's a knock at the door. "Room Service!" A voice said. "Come in!" The woman replied.
"Gabriel wanted you to guard this with your life?" Sam asked me, and I shrugged. "I'm just as confused as you are." I said. "Maybe he's a fan. It is a good one." Dean said, looking at the DVD box.
The door to the hotel room opens and Gabriel appears, wearing a mustache and a service waiter's outfit. "I've got the kielbasa you ordered." He said. "Ooh. Polish?" The woman said, sitting up on her knees. "Hungarian." Gabriel said, and he throws the dish onto the mantle.
Gabriel went up to the woman and started kissing her. The boys look slightly disturbed, while I was very disturbed. Gabriel was passionately kissing the woman, while feeling her up and down, erotically, both of them moaning. "What the hell's going on?" Sam asked. "I don't know but I hate it." I said, covering my eyes with my hands.
"Sam, Dean, (Name)." Gabriel said, making me peek through my fingers to see he has turned to the camera, removes his mustache and breaking the fourth wall of the film.
"You're probably wondering what the hell is going on. (Name) probably even got her eyes covered, the little cutie." Gabriel said, smirking at the camera. I glared back at him, dropping my hands from my face.
"Well, if you're watching this, I'm dead. Oh please! Stop sobbing, it's embarrassing for all of us. Without me, you've got zero shot at killing Lucifer, sorry! But can trap him. The cage you sprung Lucifer from? It's still down there. And maybe, just maybe, you can shove his ass back in. Not that it'll be easy. You gotta get the cage open, trick my bro back into it. And uh, oh yeah, avoid Michael and the God Squad. But hey, details, right? And here's the big secret, Lucifer himself doesn't even know... the key to the cage? It's out there. Actually it's keys, plural. Four keys, well, four rings. From the Horsemen. You get 'em all, you got the cage. Can't say I'm betting on you three. But, uh, hey! I've been wrong before."
The boys and I exchanged a look. "And Dean, you were right. I was afraid to stand up to my brother, not any more." Gabriel said, as the woman in the movie starts nibbling on his ear.
Gabriel stands up and the woman removes her bra behind him. "So this is me, standing up. And this is, me, lying down." He said, and Gabriel grabs woman, throwing her and himself to the bed, and begins making love to her. We look at the screen confused, then disturbed.
"Oh, uh, oh! Oh man!" Sam said, quickly shutting his laptop. "Horsemen, huh? Well we got War's We nicked Famine's That's two down. Collect all four? All we need is Pestilence and Death." Dean said.
"Oh, is that all?" I asked. "It's a plan." Dean replied, and Sam and I nod. Sam retrieves his laptop and gets into the passenger seat of the Impala, while I got in the backseat and Dean takes his place behind the wheel.