"My goldfish died," I told Cora immediately. "It's deeply tragic. The funeral is—" I looked at my bare wrist. "Oh, holy shit, it's right now. Gotta scram, bye Cors."
Cora grabbed my wrist and flipped it over, looking at the empty space where I watch did not rest. Her hands were cool and soft; gentle, even as her eyes pinned me accusatorily. "You don't have a fish."
I nodded solemnly. "Not anymore, I know. It's hard, but we manage, you know?"
Cora looked decidedly unimpressed. "Uh huh, okay. I'll send a bouquet. What's up with you and Kai?"
I envied Kai for his quick escape, as much as I thought it made him an epic wanker. We needed to have a serious conversation about fake-boyfriend etiquette, and how that meant I could not be left alone to face an answers-hungry Cora. I knew that I wouldn't be so lucky in formulating my escape.
Cora, when she wasn't being cut off at the knee by Sydney, could be quite determined. Even with Sydney, she'd endured years of passive-aggressive digs and manipulative smiles. She wasn't nosy, but this was a situation that could drive even her to a curiosity that demanded satisfaction.
I ran a hand through my hair. "C'mon, we're late for class."
Her hands came up to rest on her hips. "Yes, I know that you're late. And apparently, because you were hanging out with Kai. Jenna Ringland just told me in the hallway."
It was at that moment that it hit me. Kai and I had spent hours planning, devising the perfect way to make everyone believe in us and our fake relationship. Despite that, we'd never discussed the Cora problem. Cora was the bridge between us, one of my closest friends, and practically a sister to him. She knew us both, and she was perceptive.
And I had no idea if I was supposed to tell her the truth, or deceive her in the same way that I was deceiving everyone else.
"That..." I said slowly. "May or may not be true."
"May or may not?" Cora demanded.
I grimaced. "Hanging out is such a... vague description. What does one consider hanging out? Now, that's a philosophical question for the ages. We should ponder that as we sit in class, right, Cora?"
"You're being weird," said Cora.
"Weird? Ah, and what is weird? What defines weirdness? Some would say—"
"Okay, I know you were actually hanging out with Kai. I know that Jenna didn't lie to me. The question is why. Since when did you even like Kai?"
As Cora stared me down, I smiled tightly. Cora was honest to a fault; if Sydney asked her what was up between Kai and I, the truth would be written plainly on the lines of her face, etched there by my hand. So I needed to craft an entirely different picture.
"He was nice to me, after everything that happened," I said casually. "I don't know, he texted me yesterday to check in, and then when he heard that I didn't have a ride to school today, he offered to take me."
Sneakily, I took a peek behind her. The squeaks of shoes against the floors had mostly quietened, everyone already in class by now. My voice echoed uncomfortably down the open hallway, ricocheting off walls and lockers. The corridors were empty; nothing for me to quickly duck behind in a rapid escape.
Cora's eyes narrowed. "What happened to your car?"
I sighed, relieved that there was a question I could answer. "In the shop. Kai—uh, someone ran into me. Not when I was driving or anything; just hit me in the car park at the cafe."
I got the strange sense that Kai didn't particularly want me spreading around his poor parking skills. The expression on his face every time the accident was mentioned spoke loud and clear, as did the way he tapped nervously on his thigh. I couldn't blame him—accidents happened, but they still sucked.
"So, what, you and Kai are friends now?" Cora asked, with a healthy dose of scepticism. Her hands had dropped from her hips, but her lips were still pursed.
"Sure."
"This isn't some revenge stunt?"
I tucked my hair behind my ear. "No, Cora. I'm just making friends with someone who was nice to me, and has always been close with you." A slow smile spread across her face; I wrapped my arms around my middle. "In fact, Kai offered me a spot with them for lunch today. You know, since half of my social circle is gone."
Cora brightened. "Oh, awesome. I didn't know what we were going to do. It'll be great to have someone to sit with, instead of trying to stake our claim on a new table halfway through the year." She slung her arm through mine, and the faint, floral scent of perfume accompanied her sunny smile. "We should probably get to class. My interrogation has made us totally late."
I couldn't help but smile back. I'd always overlooked Cora. Never given her all of the credit she deserved. Because while Tommy and Sydney may have betrayed me, and forced me to find my own way, she had no such limitations. Maybe she didn't love the pair of them right now, but she had other friends in our old group. And yet, despite the fact that I'd never really stood up to Sydney in the way that I probably should have, she was sticking by me.
Cora was a better friend than I deserved.
"We are beyond late," I said, following her towards our homeroom. Ours was the door on the far right, and homeroom only had a few minutes to go. Cora walked with alacrity to the correct doorway. "You are terrifying when you're nosy, you know that right?"
She flicked her blonde hair over her shoulder and gave me a winning smile; a Sydney smile. "Oh, I know."
And she pulled me into the classroom behind her.
"Cora, Valerie," said Mr. Peters as we made it into the classroom. "Nice of you to finally join us."
I waved. "Uh, hey?"
He sighed. "Take a seat."
All of the eyes in the classroom were pinned to me. 24 pairs glued to every single one of my movements. Mr. Peters was already talking again—something about an excursion and signing the appropriate forms—but the hungry gazes of my classmates, the pressure of their stare, seemed heavy enough to drown me.
The sound of my teacher's voice seemed to be travelling through water. It felt as though the sound of a pin drop could be heard, even though I knew that the classroom was noisy.
The fan was so loud I felt like I could feel its reverberation in my soul.
It was hard to know, really, whether the weight of their stares was innocent—who doesn't look at the two girls who are late to class?—or if everyone already knew. Had heard about what Sydney and Tommy had done.
If only I could gauge whether it was idle boredom that drew their eyes to me, or whether it was pity.
I couldn't stand pity.
It was so much easier with Kai at my side. Cora was steadfast and loyal, her smile encouraging as we beelined for our side-by-side seats at the back of the room, but where she was supportive, Kai was a life craft in the middle of a never-ending expanse of sea. When I was with Kai, I was going to demand those stares, revel in them, and they would not be bored or pitying, but envious.
Attention was never something I was comfortable to attract, but I coveted this kind. The kind that would bury hurt and pain. The kind that exacted revenge.
Someone tapped me on the shoulder. I turned around in my seat, wary of Mr. Peters' sharp tongue and low tolerance for failing to pay attention, to meet Jameson Miller's questioning gaze.
Jameson was one of Kai's mates. He was a tall, good-looking guy whose eyes held a perpetual glint of impishness and whose smile spelled trouble. Auburn hair curled lazily and artfully over his forehead, and his eyes were a vivid blue that stood out from a suntanned face. It was easy to see why he was friends with Kai. They both had the same penchant for mischief, and the same natural charm that made them popular and likeable. Almost everyone liked Jameson Miller.
Especially Madeleine. She'd hooked up with Jameson on-and-off for a few years, and he'd often strolled through the doors of our workplace—looking every bit like the old money gentleman who frequented the steakhouse—to flirt with Madi. I'd chatted to him, and it wasn't difficult to see why Mads liked him. He was gorgeous and funny, and had Kai's innate magnetism.
"Val-er-ie," he said, drawing my name out with relish. His voice was hushed to avoid Mr. Peters' attention. "I've been hearing things."
"Have you?"
"I have. Care to provide a comment?"
I smiled knowingly. "What exactly am I commenting on?"
Jameson squinted analytically at me, and I raised an eyebrow challengingly. Slowly, a smile inched its way across his lips, and he leaned back in his chair with pantherlike grace. "You know, you could pick a better rebound than Delaney."
Rebound. So, Kai hadn't told him about our deal; the car and my revenge. Jameson's eyes were curious; catlike in their intensity. Despite the languish with which he draped himself across the chair, I realised he was on tenterhooks. With a certain amusement, I realised that Kai hadn't told Jameson anything. This was a shameful attempt to fish for details about his friend's uncharacteristic and alleged new friendship with an unlikely candidate.
If Jameson thought it would further his agenda, he'd be leaning forward in his seat, waiting to hear my reply.
"I have no idea what you're talking about," I said enigmatically. "And I don't think you do either."
"My little birdie is very reliable," Jameson said.
"Perhaps. But it seems that their information is sparse."
"Maybe," said Jameson, acquiescing to my observation. "No information is as reliable as that straight from the source."
"Kai is your friend, maybe you should ask him." I turned back to the front of the room, bending over my notebook. I didn't write anything—it was homeroom, so there wasn't exactly anything to write—but I drew small flowers in the corner of my page.
At the front of the room, Mr. Peters was patiently explaining to Cora the process of signing up to different classes, giving me ample time to further irritate Jameson. Behind me, I could hear him drumming his fingers against the table impatiently. He was unwilling to deign my statement with a response, but was equally as unwilling to give up on answers.
I turned back to him with a mock gasp. "Oh! Did you already ask him and he refused to give you any real information?" I pouted at him.
Jameson's eyes glimmered, but he didn't answer my question. "Does that mean that there's real information to give?"
I laughed merrily. "You're careless with your cards. Don't show them too early, Jamie, especially when you have a losing hand."
"Profound." He didn't seem particularly impressed. But he leaned forward. "Seriously, what's up with you and Delaney? And since when are you and Aster on the outs?"
I hummed thoughtfully. "Since he was an epic asshole," I answered, frankly.
"He's always been an epic asshole."
I shrugged, not willing to refute the claim. I'd thought Tommy was the love of my life, in the childish ways of first love and familiarity. But when I thought about him appraising Sydney, considering how beautiful she was, hating her and yet willing to sleep with her anyway, I couldn't deny that the boy I loved was, in fact, an epic asshole.
"Let's just say he really let his true colours shine," I said enigmatically. "So, I've just been hanging with Kai. Nice guy. And I'm in need of friends."
"That's what Kai told me," Jameson said, his eyes flitting over my face to catalogue my expression. His fingers curled over his chin, watching me for any reaction. "He said you and Cora would be sitting with us at lunch."
"Do you have a problem with that?"
"Not at all," Jameson said lightly. His smirk was knowing. "But, I notice that he said you and Cora. Not Sydney."
My jaw clenched. I could feel my fingers tighten around my pen, knuckles bleached white. Sydney's absence was palpable. Falling out with Sydney had once been inconceivable, and my reaction was inevitable.
"Not Sydney," I said with a calm I didn't feel. "We're not exactly friends anymore."
Jameson whistled quietly, a sound of complete shock, and something that was a little bit like admiration. Jameson loathed Syd, always had. Kai had tolerated her with a detached amusement, willing to flirt a little, but with the same affection you might reserve for a friend's overzealous pet. But Jameson seemed to treat her with the level of disgust you'd reserve for a piece of shit on your shoe.
I'd never known why, but I had a feeling my friendship with Syd had disinclined him to ever be friends with me.
Now, he seemed thrilled. "What happened? You came to your senses in one fell swoop? What a weekend for revelations."
I grimaced. "Same revelation, actually."
With a simpering smile, I turned back to the front of the room. Mr. Peters had finished with Cora, and was sitting on his laptop at the front of the room. The class were all chattering about their weekends, a few with errant looks toward me.
Cora looked over at me with a questioning frown. Are you okay?
I nodded.
Behind me, Jameson was pondering his thoughts aloud and completely without a filter. "Same revelation, huh? What did they do? So many options; so few morals between them. I mean, they have maximum three morals between them." He stopped for a moment. "Holy fuck did they— No. Surely not. Valerie, you have to tell me what they did before I assume the worst and immediately start disparaging their character to everyone at the school. You know, more than usual."
I turned to face him. His eyes swam with sympathy, mingled with the glee of potentially stumbling upon a minefield of gossip. "You're a dreadful gossip."
"I like my facts to be right," he said, tilting his chin down slightly to hit me with unparalleled puppy-dog eyes. Seriously, they were unbeatable in terms of emotion; he could've convinced me to walk a tightrope between two skyscrapers. "Confirm them for me?"
I considered this for a moment. Everyone knowing about Sydney and Tommy would mean a complete demolition of their character, and it would provide some legitimacy to my friendship with Kai. After all, I could hardly parade a new relationship if people thought I was still tethered to my old one. And there was no better way to get people to my side than to play the scorned woman. The more the information would spread, the more support I would have.
If there was one way to make sure any information got around the school momentarily, it was giving that information to Jamie Miller. He knew everyone, was loved by everyone, and had an unfettered ability to talk and talk and talk.
"Disparage away," I said. "I'm hanging out with Kai Delaney because my boyfriend decided to screw my best friend at Jack Heath's party."