|still don't know my name— labrinth|
When Juniper had told Ash tray that she knew a place, he was not expecting to be sitting at her kitchen table. He thought maybe the two would be going somewhere in town-- but since she had agreed to sit down and A) tell him what had happened the night of the carnival from her point of view, and B) tutor him, Ash was grateful to be anywhere with Juniper.
"Do you want anything?" Juniper asked, draping her jacket over the back of her chair. "Water?" She opened the fridge to see what all they had. Juniper scoffed as she grabbed the only beverage that was in the fridge. "Or rum?"
"I'm fine," Ash replied and watched as the girl poured herself a small glass of rum. "Thanks though," Juniper sat across the table from him and stared for a moment.
"So," She murmured, tapping her nails on the edge of the glass. "I don't really know what exactly you want to hear honestly."
"Just start at the beginning of the night I guess," Ash prompted her. "Like when you guys met at the ferris wheel-- what was the first thing that happened?"
Juniper chewed on the corner of her mouth. "We moved away from the rides, and found somewhere quiet to be because Fez said he needed to tell me something before we did anything else."
"Okay," Ash nodded, leaning against his palm as he listened to her. He noticed her nervous mannerisms, and the way she wouldn't look at him. "What happened next?"
Juniper took a drink of the alcohol, wincing as it slivered down her throat. Her eyebrows furrowed at the burn. "We found somewhere to sit, by the bathrooms. I guess I kinda knew something was wrong."
Ash looked up. "What do you mean?" He asked.
"He wouldn't look at me," She explained, staring down at the honey colored liquid. "Or even t-talk to me at first." Juniper stammered, hating how her voiced wavered against her will. "And that was weird because he said that he needed to tell me something." She brought her hand up to her temples as she remembered the night. "He wouldn't even look at me." She repeated under her breath.
Ash felt his jaw tighten. He bit the inside of his cheek to stop himself from interrupting Juniper while she told him her side of the story. "It took him a while to just come out and say it," She murmured, taking another sip of her rum.
Ash looked up at her again. "Say what?" He questioned, trying to keep his wonders to a minimum. He didn't want to upset Juniper. She hesitated to reply. Instead, Juniper downed the rest of her drink, then stood from her seat. She rounded the chair to the counter to be able to pour herself another glass of rum. "What did he tell you, J?" He asked again. He watched as the girl's shoulders slumped. "Please tell me."
"He said we shouldn't see each other anymore," She set the bottle back down on the counter, the sound of the glass making connection with the stone almost drowned out her words. But Ash heard her.
"What?" He mumbled quietly. "He just said it? Just like that?" Ash glared down at the table. Juniper leaned against the counter as she sipped from the glass.
"Yeah," She confirmed. Her eyebrows tilted upward after saying it. "But he had good reason," Juniper nodded along to her own words. "He had good reason, and I can't be mad at him for doing what he did."
"Can't be mad?" Ash echoed, leaned against the back of his chair instead of on his palm. "J, you had every right to be upset. It wasn't fair what he did--"
"But it was," Juniper looked down after talking over the younger. "in a way."
"How?" Ash shook his head. He hated seeing how easily Juniper had accepted this fate. "Don't you wish that you were still with him? Or that this shit woulda turned out different?"
"Of course I wish everything would have been different Ash," Juniper argued back. She bit down on her lower lip, tasting iron coat her tongue. "I think about that everyday," She whispered. "But I can't just keep wishing he'll come back. I can't keep doing that, and besides," Juniper paused, setting her cup down in trade with picking up the bottle of rum. She brought the bottle up to her lips. "We weren't really dating... so we didn't really break up or anything. I should move on."
"You don't gotta move on so quickly," Ash spoke, hoping his advice would reach Juniper. "You don't gotta do anything you don't wanna."
Juniper shook her head. "I asked to stay with him," She muttered. "He said he wasn't the safest person to be around, and that it would be best for me to stay away. But at that point, I didn't care about my safety," She felt her eyes gloss over with tears, but she tried her best to blink them away. "I wanted to be with him..." Her voice trailed off. "I want to be with him... but he said no, and I have to respect that."
Ash felt his face soften at her conclusion. He saw just how little light was left in Juniper's eyes. They used to sparkle. They lit up and erupted with delicate fireworks when they collided with Fez's eyes; when cerulean danced with amber. Back when plain hazel twisted and melted into honey coated mahogany with gold lined edges. Her eyes didn't look the same anymore, because she wasn't who she was when Ash met her.
Juniper was hurting. She once was hushed giggles hidden behind forbidden smiles. She was heartbeat, and innocently given love. Juniper was grace. She was wildflowers perched in the middle of a stop sign and a cross walk. She was sweet liquor in a teacup. Juniper was forgiveness, nurture, and the stain of curiosity.
But she didn't feel these things anymore. Juniper felt her hushed giggles subside in muted tears-- slipping down the architecture of her bone structure only after the stars were out to play. Her heartbeat warped into heartache. She was no longer grace, but the strength that came with exhaustion. Weeds grew over her wildflowers, taking away the essence of blue bells, baby's breath, and asters. She was still forgiveness. She was still nurture. But she had been stained by her curiosity-- a scar that she would never rid.
"This isn't fair," Ash whispered.
"Somethings just can't be fair," Juniper talked while the rum bottle was still stitched between her fingertips. "Life wasn't created to always be fair--"
"It's not fair because I know Fez isn't over you," Ash blurted out. He watched as Juniper's face changed. Her ears perked up slightly, but her eyes remained stationed to the floor. She counted the cracks in the tiles.
"What?" Her voice was low, barely even presenting itself.
"Juniper, Fez never lost feeling for you," Ash stood from his seat and walked over to her. He leaned against the counter opposite hers. "He still talks about you."
"To who?"
"Rue," He answered. "To me too..."
"He still talks about me?" She repeated, feeling her lips twist into a frown. Her lips quivered. "He still... thinks about me?"
"Every day."
"Thats why you think it's not fair," Juniper looked over at Ash. "Isn't it?"
Ash nodded his head. "Yeah," he stuck his hands into his pockets. "He's still in love with you but left you to think the fuckin' opposite. He left you when he should have stayed."
"Ash," Juniper murmured. "He left to protect me--"
"Thats bullshit!" Ash interrupted. "He didn't need to protect you J! You can protect yourself, I know you can..."
"Ash he couldn't stand the thought of losing me in a way he couldn't control," Juniper started to explain. "He couldn't stand the thought someone hurting me because of what you guys do for business. Its a dangerous way to live, being a dealer."
"I know but..." Ash felt the words get lost in the back of his throat.
"He thought he was going to have to watch me die the night Mouse came around," Juniper shuffled closer to him. "One close call is one too many, and Fez was scared. Okay?" She stood next to him, their shoulders slightly touching. "Your brother got scared. He couldn't lose another person. Thats why I'm not mad at him... and why I am being so forgiving," Ash looked up at her, his face blank of emotion but his eyes told a different story. He understood now. "He meant well."
"But I thought..."
"You thought he was pushing me away, huh? Or he ditched me?" Juniper asked softly.
"Yeah. I guess I didn't really want to fully understand his side of this," He waved his hand slightly as he spoke. "I didn't like how he did it... so I came straight to you." He flipped his hand a little, bumping it against the bottle of rum. The alcohol splashed up the neck of the bottle and stained the front of Juniper's white tank top. The fabric started to become see through has the liquor was absorbed.
"Oh--" Juniper gasped lightly, twisting to set the bottle down. She grabbed a rag from the counter corner.
"Shit, sorry," Ash watched as she dapped her shirt lightly with the rag.
"Its alright," She murmured, pulling the edges of her tank top up a little bit to see how bad the stain truly was.
Ash eyed her actions quietly, unsure of what to do since he had already apologized. He gazed away for a moment until something brought his attention back to her. Ash eyes danced across a small passage of ink on Juniper's sternum. A small cherry.
"Damnit," Juniper cursed. "I'll be right back."
Ash watched as she walked down the hallway, most likely to go change her shirt. He sat back down at the table and thought for a moment.
A week before Juniper had ever even stepped foot into their store, Ash had over heard Fez talking to someone on the phone. Ash listened in on Fez's conversations all the time-- I mean, what's a younger sibling supposed to do? Not snoop around?
"Yeah, I was thinking about coming in tonight," Fez said, fidgeting with the string of his sweatshirt. "But I was wondering if one of your girls was going to be there?"
Ash pressed his ear against the door of his bedroom so he could hear clearer.
"Her name?" Fez repeated. "uh shit... I don't know," He tried to think back to see if he had ever heard her name. "She's got long hair... red maybe? She usually is up on the left stage... yeah the one in the corner."
Ash scoffed once he realized where Fez was calling. He couldn't be mad at his brother for calling a club, but he thought he was eavesdropping in on an important call.
"shit, I think she like kinda tall?" Fez recalled. "Oh-- She has a tattoo. A cherry near her ribs."
Little did Ash know that the conversation he was listening to would become important. That was the night that Cherry met Fezco. A week before Juniper walked into Fezco's life.
"Sorry 'bout that," Juniper sighed as she walked back into the kitchen. "What do you say we get started on tutoring?"
Ash shook out of his daze. "Okay."
"How long have you been tutoring for?" Ash asked after roughly an hour of Juniper attempting to tutor Ash.
"Just a little bit," Juniper smiled softly. "I didn't think you would be learning such difficult curriculum."
"Yeah I guess I'm in advanced classes," Ash looked at her. "and you're not that advanced of a tutor."
"Hey!" She chuckled. "I know I'm not the best but you don't gotta drag me."
"Im not draggin' ya," Ash laughed lightly. "I just don't think you're a tutor J."
She felt her cheeks warm up a little. "I am... just new."
"Hmm," Ash hummed.
The two fell quiet, not knowing what else to say. Ash then slid his textbook to his side of the table and shut it. "Oh, I didn't think we were finished--"
"Nice tattoo," Ash pointed at her. The crop top that replaced the rum stained tank top was shorter then Juniper remembered it being. The bottom of her tattoo was showing.
"Oh, thank you."
"I didn't know you were tatted J," He shrugged.
"I just have the one--"
"But I do know that you're not a tutor," Ash slipped his books into his bag. "You're a dancer, right?"
"What--" Juniper felt her hands start to shake a little.
"You see Fez, don't you?" Ash continued to ask questions. "At your job?"
"I dont know what you're talking about," Juniper laughed.
"Its you, isn't it?" he looked up at her, staring straight into her eyes. "You're cherry."
eat up my children 😌 I hope this was worth the wait