"Okay take this right over here." Vertigo told me.
"I know, I know where I'm going."
"Clearly you don't because you just missed it."
"Because I have to deal with a backseat driver that got his license when they were still using horses and fucking carriages!"
. . .
"And I was made for loving you baby, were you made for loving me!? I can't get enough of you baby, can you get enough of me!?" Livewire and Flit sang at the front of the bus while Flit drove and Copperhead banged his head on the window.
"Can someone shut them the hell up!?" Firefly asked. "Aren't you the fucking crazy girl expert how do we get this one to go away!?"
"Flit is obsessed with 80's if we pull her away from the aux cord and play something from the 2000's or something she'll probably stop." I told them. Secretly I didn't want them to stop. Flit had a pretty good singing voice.
"This isn't even an 80's song! Kiss released this in the 70's!" Vertigo said.
"Second half of 79, it might as well been the 80's!" Livewire said before hitting an imaginary drum kit for the solo. "Leave her alone this is my favorite one so far!"
. . .
"Okay, Grandpa, Grandpa's in town! Let's go grandpa!" Jane said as Vertigo drove incredibly slow to the sound of classical music.
"I'm obeying the law."
"Obeying the- we're fucking super criminals! You're so much of a bad guy we're debating if we can attribute six million deaths to your name or not!" Livewire shouted.
"Could you drive just a little faster?" Cleo asked.
"Just a little faster, c'mon." Jane added.
. . .
"Livewire where are you going? You're going off track!" I told her as Ride the Lightning by Metallica played.
"We're in Tennessee aren't we? I'm making a quick stop at Graceland."
"To do what?" Cleo asked with a raised eyebrow leaning forward.
"Nothing... just gonna piss on Elvis's grave and steal some shit."
"That's it give me the wheel-" I went to take it from her.
"No! Let me go! I may never get the chance again!" She tried to kick me away and she started swerving.
"Someone take the bloody wheel!" Vertigo shouted.
"Weeeeeeeeeee!" Duela said.
. . .
"Die! Die! Die! Duh-Duh-Die! Duh-Duh-Diiiiiie!" I shouted rather than sang as I played Die Die My Darling by The Misfits. Cleo had her arm on the dashboard as she stared dreamily at me. Jane and Duela were currently sleeping in the back.
"You should play the one you sang back in your cell about the dungeon. I like that one."
"I liked the one where you shut the hell up except for reading what's on the map to him!" Firefly called out.
. . .
"Alright so you take the left onto here and-WHAT ARE YOU DOING!?" Jane grabbed the map out of Livewire's hands to read it for herself while Rebel Girl by Bikini Kill played in the background. She had it completely covering her vision and both hands off the wheel. Everyone panicked while Livewire tried her best to grab the wheel back.
. . .
"When is it my turn?" Copperhead asked.
"You think we're letting you drive? We don't even know how long you've had opposable thumbs." Livewire said.
"But you let her drive!?" He pointed at Duela who was in the front playing When Worlds Collide by Powerman 5000. She pulled a gun out of her pocket and pointed it at him.
"SAY THAT TO MY FUCKING FACE!" She shouted while the rest of us said stuff along the lines of "WHO GAVE HER A FUCKING GUN!?"
. . .
"...The peddle on the right, there." Firefly informed Vertigo as the classical music returned, pointing at the gas peddle.
"I'M GONNA KILL MYSEEELLLLLLF!" Jane shouted.
"Hahahahaha, don't do it." Cleo let out a small chuckle before Jane opened up the window and started to climb out onto the highway.
"HOLY SHIT SHE'S DOING IT! SHE'S DOING IT!" Duela said as I jumped up to pull her back in.
. . .
"... Can you put on the-"
"No. No I won't put on the radio. No more singing, no more personality switching, everyone shut the hell up!" Firefly interrupted Cleo.
"...Are we there yet?" Duela asked.
"No."
"Are we there yet?"
"No!"
"Are we there yet?" Jane joined in with Duela.
"No!"
"Are we there yet?"
"I WILL CRASH THIS FUCKING BUS!"
. . .
"Surely there's a faster way to Gotham then taking a bus." Vertigo said as Duela drove. "Something like a-"
"If you say train, I will throw you through the fucking window you Nazi fuck." Jane said.
. . .
Cleo and I were up in the front of the bus while everyone else was asleep. Cleo was driving while Can't Sleep by K. Flay played. I was looking up in the sky looking at the stars and trying to make up constellations to stay up. I started to doze off before I heard frantic squeaking and something moving my hand. I looked down and saw Sebastian panicking. Then I heard snoring... a lot closer to me than any of the other squad members were. Except for-
"CLEO!" I shouted waking her and everybody up as we had to quickly swerve out of the way of a truck. "Okay, stop the bus!" I said before we pulled over. "Obviously we need to get some shut eye. We'll drive to the nearest motel and then get some shut eye. In the morning, two of us will go for gas and we'll continue in the morning. Or afternoon because I think it's like 3 am."
"How do you expect to pay for a motel or gas?" Vertigo asked.
"Remind me to ask Waller if he has Alzheimer's, since he seems to keep forgetting that we're supervillains." I told Livewire pointing at Vertigo.
. . .
My arm turned into smoke as I had it snake it's way through the lobby and towards the bellboy.
"What the fuck are you doing? Setting off the smoke alarm so everyone runs out?" Livewire asked rubbing her eyes. Cleo stood next to us yawning.
"I'm doing recon." I told her. I slipped my way into his brain and figured out what his greatest fear was. With any luck it was easy to exploit and it was. Sebastian came running over with an iPhone in his mouth. I grabbed it and handed it to Livewire. "Open it."
"What makes you think you can boss me around!?"
"That Waller told me I can boss you around. Open it." I repeated. Livewire groaned and shocked it before the phone opened to its Home Screen. "He got any games on his phone?"
"Never mind that." I took the phone back and called the number on the sign of the motel.
"Quality Inn, despite what the reviews say we give five star quality in a two star state. Norville speaking."
"Norville Sm- wow his name is really Norville." I whispered away from the phone. "Norville Smith! Listen to me! I'm a time traveler from the future! I come from a timeline where the government chips have been activated! Turning everyone into cannibals as a result of the discovery that the moon landing was in fact faked!"
"What the fuck?" Livewire whispered before I shushed her.
"I knew it! God damn government!"
"Quiet! They're listening in on your end! They can't track my future phone though so act like you're talking to uhhhhhh your bank or something."
"His what? Why would his bank call him right now?" Cleo whispered.
"I don't know it's almost 4 AM!" I whispered back.
"I don't own a bank account, ain't no way I'm letting any Jew r-"
"Okay okay okay, no bank account got it! Listen to me, you're talking to the babysitter to your kid or something! Anyways, seven people are about to walk in with a refugee alien they freed from Area 51-"
"Why would Area 51 still hold aliens when Superman-"
"Shut up!" I told Livewire. "If you want to stop the government from taking over, you must let them take asylum! They will not have any money so you must let them stay the night for free! Do you understand?"
"Yes I do! I'll be home to take care of Lil Bobby right away!"
"Good! Oh no! The Cyber-Commies have found me! Change the future Norville! AAAA-" I hung up the phone. "Gonna be honest, not my best fear mongering."
"What the hell was that?" Livewire asked.
"Classic case of Scopophobia. Fear of the government. I got us rooms, we just have to follow the story of freedom fighters taking on the CIA."
"Instead of being black ops agents?" Livewire asked.
"Exactly. Let's go get the others." We walked back to the bus where everyone was almost nodding off. "I got us rooms. Good news for Vertigo here, I think I found one of his buddies while I was getting them."
"What does that mean?" Vertigo asked.
"Guess." I said. I told them to all follow my lead as I went through the song and dance of telling him we were from the future again. I managed to get us 4 rooms but Copperhead wasn't allowed in making him go back to the bus. When I announced we'd have to do two per room, before anyone got a chance to say anything Cleo nudged my arm and said "Hey there, roomie." Livewire sprang for a room by herself, and the other two girls refused to sleep anywhere near a Nazi or Freddy Krueger. We diverged into our separate rooms and Cleo and I walked to ours.
"So, this team is... different." Cleo said.
"Jury is out on if they'll make it farther than most of my last team did. We at least made it to Russia without ripping each other apart. I feel like I'm going to wake up to the sounds of Hammerhead strangling Duela."
"Who's Hammerhead?"
"One of Jane's alters. I should probably start strategizing as team leader now that I've gotten time to assess their personalities and how who clashes with who. Going into a fight with Joker without a plan is Suicide."
"When are you going to do that?"
"Honestly I should probably start right now." I said opening the door to our motel.
"Are you sure? You seem tired. Maybe it's best for you to just relax?"
"Relaxing isn't something I can really do if I know someone like The Joker has I.9.K. I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I knew anyone else had to deal with the living hell I went through on a day to day basis." I scouted the room out as Cleo closed the door behind us. "You know it's kinda bad that I would rather sleep in The Bates Motel."
"Well I mean that too. I can already tell you're going to be wired up this trip... do you think that maybe... he might show up?"
"I hope not. It's been over a month. I think as long as someone like you is with me I can suppress him but also I had an incident with one of Jane's alters. They can read minds or something. And they seemed like they were talking to him. I'm going to be completely honest I'm afraid he's still there, waiting to strike." I checked out the bathroom. "Again, bad sign I'd rather shower in the same vicinity as Anthony Perkins. I guess I've been kinda on edge since that happened a few days ago."
"And that's what I'm saying. Maybe you should just take it easy tonight. Relax a little. I mean there aren't any guards around~."
"I really don't want to be the reason either of us die and as team lead it's probably my responsibility to- wait what did you just sa-" I said before I was turned around and pulled into a deep kiss by Cleo. She pulled my hoodie off of me before spinning us around and slowly falling onto the bed. That's when I realized she was only in her black panties. She pulled me close and whispered into my ear.
"Are you going to do something or should I do all the work?"